"I instruct you, my dear brother, to go Pyke with me. Lord Eddard Stark will go to one of the Goodbrother's islands with his levies, my King's Guard Commander will instruct my King's Landing levies on Holy Pyke." Robert was smiling rather blithely at the map before them, of the Iron Isles. Personally, Stannis believed Balon was a fool to consider such a maneuver against Robert, given the look in the his brothers eyes. It was the look of pure delight, considering Robert loved warring, drinking, and whorring amongst all other things, and he loved warring - this foolish 'King' of the Iron Isle, he was a fool. A fool not to see that he had just awoken a war-hungry King from his drunken slumber, and that he was about to be stomped on by a large boot by the Iron Throne. Stannis wondered what he was thinking with such a dullard move, but than again, the Iron Isles had never been know for it's intelligence, not since Aegon the Conquered had burned House Hoare to the ground in it's newly constructed castle of Harrenhal. However, as for the current Iron Born threat; he had invited Lord Ned Stark from the bowels of the North to join them. He was dressed casually but also well enough, in a grey/white colored long shirt and a pair of musky boots, along with wearing a large raven-colored bear-hide covering his back, of which was held up by a grey/white pin bearing the House Insgima of House Stark; a snarling direwolf. They didn't have much to say to one another, but he wished to speak to him about Jeyne. Mostly because he was suspicious, and because of how flustered Jenny got sometimes about the Warden of the North.
"Yes, my King." He said, turning towards his brother, of whom was the central person in the room besides for Jon Arryn., the Hand, of whom was currently sitting of to the side. He looked so old, in his opinion, and he guessed Jenny thought so as well, considering she was the one that offered to take his son with her back to Storm's End. But maybe, it was because his wife was utterly out of her mind, breast-feeding the lad well past his fifth birthday. Utter madness to do to a child of his age, and Jeyne recognized it, considering it was she whom made the suggestion to begin out of concern. To say that Lady Arryn took the idea was entirely unbecoming; she took that idea none too well, and cried heavily about losing her only child to them - to her, to Jeyne, more or less. Lysa had never liked Jeyne, nought at all, and hated on his most beloved wife, for being a fertile Arryn whom's children could potentially take the Eyre away from her sweetrobin once he died. Which he no doubt would do so soon, given the boy's extremely poor health and seemly lack of constitution. But besides, he hoped that Jon didn't outlive the boy, like he did with all of his other relatives - to Stannis, it appeared that the Arryns suffered through extreme poor luck with heirs and such. He hoped he didn't have to wake Steffon for the notion that once Robert Arryn died, he'd be heir of the Eyre, with all things said and done, and that'd he have to take on his mother's last name. Or they simply could give the Vale to Harrold Hardying - that also could be an option as well, if Robert died that is, considering he had the Arryn look, and besides, he was willing to depart with his own Hardyng last name and take on the Arryn name...
Everyone else agreed with him in this, including that sly fellow known as Littlefinger. After seeing that little man, he was immediately going to confront Jon Arryn on that decision. The man seemed completely untrustworthy, and besides, Robert wouldn't listen to him anyhow. Robert would think he was saying was self-centered, self-indulgent, considering he wouldn't even listen to his request about banning whores. To that request, the man had scoffed, and asked him if he'd like to ban shitting and drinking in the city - something he wouldn't actually mind banning, before sending him on his way back to Jeyne. Jeyne had quipped that it wouldn't be practical to ban whores, considering they were an essential part of King's Landing economy, something he was aware of. He asked her if she was defending whoring as a business, she shrugged and said that in order to rule a Kingdom, one must have funds to run it, and whores, despite being a excessive sin on another man's behalf, were a part of that ecosystem. It was a rather pragmatic way to look at the problem, admittedly, but he still banned whores within his own realm regardless of what she felt about it though.
The farce Rebellion came as it went. Robert and him went off to main island of Pyke with their levies that completely out-shadowed those of Lord Balon's. Lord Stark went to one of the other islands with his levies, and so on and so forth. Indeed, the entire process was quite tiredsome, with he and Robert basically strolling into Pyke, completely unharmed or unfettered, as one of their towers fell down onto one of the Lords sons. That was unfortunate, but the boy was a Iron born, bred for stealing and plundering from other kingdoms like vermin. In truth, he felt no regrets in seeing them be killed, it was only natural that those that practice such a folly should be paid in blood and steel for their unjust practices. Jeyne would think he was cruel, to think it was just to see people die, for not all Iron Born were raiders, she'd preach on and on about mercy, but she understood very little in the ways of war. She was a woman, afterall, a highborn one, and did not see the full extent to Robert's Rebellion, even though she saw the subsequent burning and sacking of Gulltown, done by Robert and Jon Arryn after the Lord of Gulltown decided on being a loyalist to the Dragon Lords. She was right though, not all Iron born were raiders, most were fishing folks just trying to make a living for themselves, but the ones they were fighting weren't those, they were raiders, those that attacked the coastlines of the North, the Riverlands, and the Westerlands.
They weren't worthy of mercy.
But they won the battle, in any case. It wasn't too particularly difficult, not like attacking those sea dogs at sea though, considering it was their natural climate. Oh yes, he fought a sea battle with those blasted Iron Born, and sunk half a dozen of their ships with the help of Lord Verayon. He was happy that Verayon did indeed assist him with the task at hand, considering the Targaryen-looking man was a blasted good sailor, that Lord of the Waves he was. He certainly deserved his moniker, and he believed he was the one whom blew up one of the Greyjoy's ships, even though it unfortunately killed none of Balon's half-witted brothers, even as they destroyed the rest of the Greyjoy fleet with no mercy. Those brothers of Balon's were the ones that destroyed Casterly Rock's ships with fire, he had heard. He wondered which one of them was smart enough to contrive such a plan to begin with, but no doubt this would be an interesting tail to tell Davos and Steffon. The boys would no doubt, love hearing of his exploits in the name of Robert, and besides, he liked telling stories to them. They were inventive listeners when he told stories - and he wondered if Robert Arryn would join them. He hoped he did, the boy was in dire-need of a role model of any sort, and besides, Jeyne couldn't coddle the boy forever, even though she would no doubt try. She was extra protective of him due to his many weaknesses, and because he was a member of her house, apparently. He suspiciously had brown-coloured hair, not Jeyne or Harrold Hardyng's dirty blonde locks of hair, and Harold Hardyng is said to look like Jon Arryn in his youth..
As for Balon himself, he had tried convincing Robert to kill the treacherous dog, but Robert decided on giving him the gift of mercy for whom knows what reason, but it didn't seem logical to him to leave that traitorous dog alive. However, Robert had one more surpisse up his sleeve; for he rewarded Ned Stark, or more like burdened him, with Theon Greyjoy, Balon's heir. He appeared to be Davos's age, which was about ten-elven years of age, when he himself saw him for the first time anyhow. Robert had tried giving the boy to him at first, but he refused, given that they already had one little foreign Lord at Storm's End already. So, than he gave the Iron Born child to Ned Stark's care, and off he went to Winterfell. He thought that rebellion was rather weak, and if he were Robert, that insipid little Squid King's head would no doubt be on the chopping block for rebelling against his betters. But than again, Robert loved war... He was left with the rather discomforting thought that he was leaving the Squid Lord alive simply because he knew Balon would stir up trouble once again. That was not a thought Stannis was particularly fond of; he enjoyed living in times of peace more than times of war, quite unlike Robert, but when things came to a war, he'd do what needed to be done, even if it went against his morals, and nothing less, for he was nothing short of a dutiful man to his all of his commitments.
Than, he talked to Ned Stark in regards to Jeyne, his beloved Lady wife. Well, it was awkward, to say in the least. Sometimes when he talked to the man, he felt like he was speaking a literal mirror image of himself, which was extremely embarrassing to say in least; Jeyne was right again on this, Jeyne was right a lot, Stannis would think. No wonder why Jeyne had previously liked him. He kind of guessed his lady wife had something of a past crush on the Lord - it would only be natural, given that both were in the Vale and were practically raised alongside one another. But besides that little nuanced thought of his, they had some of their children promised to one another by Robert's wills. So, his son and heir was younger than of his sweet Jocelyn; indeed, there was nearly a three year age gap between the two. He came into the conversation with indifference, and came out it of feeling the same level of said indifference.
The Warden of the North returned to the North, like the dutiful man he was. He also dealt with Cersei Lannister when he went to King's Landing briefly during his stay at the Red Keep; the Queen Consort seemed to have something against him - or more like against Jeyne, probably. That woman was a conniving, cold-hearted woman in his opinion and he felt sorrow for his brother for having to be burdened with such a woman. He didn't understand why Cersei would hate Jeyne, and he'd know it considering he knew Jeyne and what a wonderful diplomat she is, but he didn't believe Jeyne knew about the boiling hatred Cersei seem to have for her, even though they interacted from time to time when Jeyne joined him at court which she did sometimes along with their children so that they might interact with their cousins; she was always very polite and courteous, traits he highly admired out of a Lady of his. Or maybe Jeyne did know about the Queen's dislike of her, but choice not to comment on it less she make the Queen more angry at her, for some god's known what reason, but whatever Cersei thought of Jeyne concerned him slightly. He didn't want the Queen to poison her in her sleep, or hurt her, for Cersei was well known for her wroth temper. She was said to have killed twins born from one of Robert's love affairs with a Westerlands woman, and to have sold the woman in slavery. Such rumors did not sit well with him, in regards to the woman known as Cersei Lannister. It made him highly cautious when dealing with her, and he assumed similarly of Jeyne, of whom had to be extra careful with the paranoid Queen Consort.
As for his return home, It was nice. His children wanted to hear all about what he did, which was charming, and so he told them about his sea battle with those Sea Dogs from the Iron Isles.
"We knew where they were when we struck them. Indeed, I and our Shield-Lord Farman knew exactly they were in the Summer seas and thus, it was rather easy... to sneak up on them and surprise them with an attack. We burned the vast majority of their taken-aback vessels, but alas, all of those bloody squids escaped back to the Iron Isles. I even heard that one of 'em became a religion nut 'cause I drowned his vessel and he 'drowned' apparently." Stannis didn't think he drowned in the least, given that he was still alive and breathing. He didn't understand the Iron Born's religion, but he did find it peculiar that he, of all people, had made someone a religious zealot though. He didn't laugh often, but when he heard that news, he couldn't help but chuckle just a bit at that bit of information. It just seemed so funny to him, that he a person of no particular belief, had made another man a bitch towards a master of whom he called the Sea God.
"So ye did it without mercy?" Steffon asked, staring at him. Out of all of his children, Steffon was the most like him semi-personality wise, as well as looking more like him than any of his other children did. He was dutiful, principled and above all other things, polite and charismatic, a complete flip-flop of Davos, of whom had unfortunately inherited his inverted nature. He had well-cut raven-coloured hair, his own unfortunate chin, and his mother's aquiline nose. He hoped that Sansa would like him, whenever she met him, that is. The two had not met yet, even though he wished it, considering someday she'd be his son's wife as it is. Ned had told him that she was a dutiful, but pretty girl with her mother's coloring, meaning that she looked like a Tully. Ned had a bit offended that Arya, his second daughter, hadn't be offered up to Steffon in marriage instead, considering he was only a second son and not an heir to anything of importance, an irony that had not been lost on him, considering the two of them were second sons themselves
"Obviously." He shrugged. Steffon was eight year olds, he was old enough to hear news like this. Considering the fact that he was old enough to squire for a man, than rest assured, he was old enough to hear news about a war that his father had participated in. Besides, Stannis believes it to be a good thing that they hear about their own father's deeds, rather than looking up to let's say Robert about everything. He dearly hoped none of his children felt that way towards his brother though; he was rather getting obese as of late, which was an unfortunate thing, and he was publicly whoring now, much like Aegon the Unworthy did in days past. He vaguely wondered why he even bothered talking to Robert about anything, given how much respect he got out of talking to him.
"Oh cool!" Steffon's eyes widened.
"Only the weak allow traitors to live anyhow." Davos his heir, stated as he stood forward out of the shadows like some silent ghost or something. Previously, he had been brooding away in some corner about something, Stannis wasn't sure what, but Davos did a lot of brooding and worrying, about basically everything. Stannis believed that caution was good, but that his brooding might lead to paranoia, and than he'd end up like Cersei Lannister, a mad, paranoid woman with nothing in her head besides for some misheld belief that everyone was plotting against her. Davos was a strapping youth with his mother's bright blue eyes and clean, well-cut raven-colored hair; he was quite strong looking at that, with a mass of muscles visible on his arms. He was actually considered handsome and popular with girls his own age, but never really approached them, instead preferring his books and sword-fighting practices over conversing with them. Than again, Davos was a rather solemn, quiet person as it was. People weren't really Davos's strength, which was unfortunate. Steffon though, he was great with woman and was as charismatic with people as the two of them were combined together; he believed that Steffon was blessed with this gift from his mother.
"I dunno about that, Davos, what 'bout nobles as prisoners of war? Should you kill your valuable hostages just because they don't bow before your will immediately? I don't think so, there's a way to do war proper. I do think that with the Iron Born, yes, they should all be slaughtered when out in war with 'em, for their entire culture is built around rape and pillaging, like the Dothraki. "
"I'll have you know, Steffon, that not all Iron Born are reavers. Most are fishermen, my boy."
"I know that, mum says that. She's never in danger of them reaping her crops by those crop-stealers up on the Iron Isles. But, I do personally think she's forgotten 'bout those clansmen they had up in the Vale, of whom haunt them there, like the Iron Born do to the Riverlands, the North, the Westerlands, and the Reach." Steffon pouted.
"And besides I never mentioned anything about prisoners of war, Steffon. They were traitors to the true King, as it was, by serving that supposed Seaweed Lord of theirs's in a futile rebellion. Father did what was right." Davos shrugged indifferently.
They usually had some kind of phycological arguments, of some sorts whenever he came back from King's Landing - something that Stannis found amusing for the most part. Both of his sons were intelligent, well-read and enjoy reading war stories like normal boys might, he supposed. They had such a healthy, average relationship between the two, that he was happy. However, Tommen Baratheon noticed the love shared between the two brothers - considering how he was always trying to befriend the pairing, which Davos took as a compliment. Indeed, the boy had started following the two about as of late, whilst Joffrey the eldest and Crown Prince, often sat out of such frivolous activities done between the boys though, even though the envy was always there with him. Stannis suspected he was jealous of Davos and Steffon - an occurrence he didn't expect, In all honesty given Joffrey's status above his two sons. He had almost half- expected it to be opposite way around, whereas Davos would be the envious one out of the pair of cousins, not it be the Crown Prince, the one that would rule over the Seven Kingdoms, be the jealous one of the pack.
author note: UGH, with Davos and Steffon, I had thoughts about Jon Snow and his relationship with his brother, Robb, in the books when writing this. So ye. Probably not going to see them again 'cause I don't want to see them again cause' their not very interesting as characters. Consider them super side characters at that.
Also I welcome any and all feedback.