Overcoming Strength

Lost in Thought

~ Chapter 5

The next morning Zelgadis awakens bright and early as is his habit recently. He's finding that he doesn't need to sleep that much.

Nearly the entire Slayers gang is, eventually, there to join him for breakfast in the dining room. The only person not present is Pokota and he should be on his way after receiving the letter from Amelia. Crowling even joins them for breakfast. Seeing Crowling up and about is comforting to Zelgadis. Carefully, Zelgadis asks Crowling how he is holding up and his assistant replies in the positive. He's still a little shaken up, but other than that he's just fine. Zelgadis also mentions that Crowling's astral form is not as chaotic as normal.

"What do you mean?" Crowling asks.

"Your astral form has been flickering since I returned to Seyruun," Zelgadis clarifies. "I wonder if it had something to do with the ghost who possessed you. Perhaps this ghost has been in and out of your body for quite some time."

Crowling let's out an uneasy laugh. "You sure have a way of encouraging people Mister Zelgadis."

"I'm sorry," Zelgadis apologizes with a slight catch in his voice.

"It's alright Sir," Crowling says. "I know you're just trying to help. I am no better when I suggested the possibility of your body dying, am I right? Anyway, now that Prince Posel will be joining us I'm sure it will make things easier on the both of us."

"I certainly hope so," Zelgadis says. "Someone who had the ability to recreate the sword of light should know a thing or two about magical items and magic's effect on a life form."

"I think we need to get a new perspective on your condition anyway," Crowling offers. "This is the perfect opportunity to do so."

"Sounds like a plan," Zelgadis smiles. With this business taken care of the two enjoy their meal in relative silence. Zelgadis finds that he doesn't have much of an appetite and spends his time studying the astral forms of his companions. When he's finished with this brief amusement he attempts to annoy Xellos by using a piece of his astral energy to poke Xellos's ugly astral body. Zelgadis doesn't realize this, but Xellos is actually visible to everyone on the physical plane. For a couple of minutes Xellos puts up with it and doesn't even let on that he notices. Zelgadis begins to wonder if his astral trick is working so he tries pushing a little harder.

Catching Zelgadis off guard, a cone of black astral energy flies towards him and successfully knocks the man out of his seat. Everyone stands from their chairs in shock.

Zelgadis hears Crowling and Amelia's voices first, closely followed by Sylphiel and Lina as they all apply the spell to converse with him. All of his companions, with the exception of Gourry and Xellos, begin asking him what happened and if he is alright. Zelgadis bristles in embarrassment and mumbles that he is fine. Lina asks him to speak up and complains that his pronunciation is starting to blend together. Before he can complain, Zelgadis is cut short as something catches his eye.

It is visible only on the astral plane and appears to be a white sparkling comet to Zelgadis. Even Xellos begins to watch the mysterious energy as it zooms towards them. Before Zelgadis can figure out what it is or warn anyone the strange energy overtakes Crowling's body.

Now Zelgadis knows exactly what it is! This spirit must be really stupid if it thinks it can get away with possessing Crowling again with two expert priestesses in the room. Zelgadis alerts the two girls who immediately prepare to cast an exorcism spell. If Zelgadis hadn't said anything they wouldn't have known that Crowling is possessed again. There is something unique about this spirit that makes it difficult to pinpoint. Before Amelia and Sylphiel can blast the spirit away Lina stops them and is furiously shaking her hands to prevent their actions.

This angers Zelgadis.

His irritation steadily grows into fury as Lina and the ghost begin to discuss something that Zelgadis cannot hear. Why is she talking to this creature, what if something happens to Crowling. Doesn't she care at all?!

Carefully Zelgadis stands from where he has fallen and nearly screams at Lina, desperately wanting to know what she is thinking. But he doesn't say anything; actually he cannot say anything because Xellos's shadowed form is forcing Zelgadis's mouth shut. Zelgadis lashes out at Xellos, but the monster doesn't give an inch.

Now, no one can see it, but there is an intense astral battle taking place between Xellos and Zelgadis. Everyone is carefully listening to the conversation Lina is partaking in with the spirit. Meanwhile, a staring contest rages on between the monster and puny human.

Finally Xellos says something.

"You need to calm down Zelgadis, your attacks are stronger than you realize," Xellos says. "I do not wish to harm you; I need you alive."

Zelgadis stops.

"The ghost Lina is talking to calls himself Geist, not very original. He is here to deliver a message to Lina from his master," Xellos continues calmly. "This master will continue to create dangerous magical items for bandits as long as he can, but he has given Lina an out. If Lina deciphers the messages encoded on the magical items she will have the clues she needs to find his hidden location."

When the monster priest pauses in his explanation, Zelgadis takes this opportunity to reevaluate the people around him. Lina probably appears calm and collected to everyone in the room, but not to Zelgadis. She is extremely agitated and her temper can easily be seen by the blind and deaf human. Zelgadis does not feel any sympathy for her though. He grunts and crosses him arms as he takes a seat.

This is just like what happened to him over a month ago, only now it's happening to Crowling. What is even more unfair is the simple fact that this priest doesn't even know Lina personally, yet somehow her actions have gotten him into trouble. In Zelgadis's case, the only reason Ralnker cursed Zelgadis to begin with was because the evil mad man mistook Zelgadis for Lina. Zelgadis was merely a victim of circumstance because of his association with Lina. Now Crowling is being used against his will because of another enemy Lina has made.

It makes Zelgadis sick.

As Zelgadis's stubborn anger grows he completely forgets about the fact that Lina was the one who went out of her way to unseal his senses, took care of him while he was deaf, blind, and mute, and defeated Ralnker when he could not.

"Lina asked Geist why she just can't go out and defeat the bandits on her own," Xellos continues. "She wants to know why she should feel obligated to find him. Geist politely reminds her that she cannot be everywhere at once. She cannot protect everyone. He also says that his master will be keeping an eye on Lina to make sure she deciphers the notes by using him, Geist, to possess various people in the Seyruun palace."

After Xellos explains, Zelgadis becomes keenly aware of the deathly stare passing between Lina and the ghost. She gives an answer and motions to Sylphiel and Amelia. The two girls' immediately bombard the ghost with their spells in what appears to be a pure crystal light in Zelgadis's mind.

"The ghost got away," Zelgadis says as Crowling begins to wobble on his feet. Quickly, Zelgadis comes to Crowling's side and steadies him. Amelia, Sylphiel and Zelgadis leave the room with Crowling in order to get him someplace more comfortable. Xellos follows after them, but doesn't make any effort to be helpful.

Looking behind at Lina, Zelgadis notes that she is deep in thought and makes no motion to follow them. Gourry comes up beside Zelgadis and helps bring Crowling to one of the healer's rooms. After the group gets Crowling settled, Xellos, Zelgadis, Amelia and Gourry leave the bed chamber and stand there for a moment in silence. Sylphiel decides to stay with Crowling for a bit, in order to keep an eye on him.

With slow steps they make their way back to the dining hall. Zelgadis is a little surprised to see Lina waiting for them outside the elegant room. The blazing gold astral presence of Lina scratches the back of her head sheepishly.

"Is he alright?" Lina asks. She is actually showing signs of remorse, which bothers Zelgadis. He can tell that she honestly cares. Perhaps she is feeling partially responsible.

Zelgadis doesn't say anything and let's Amelia do all the talking. Crowling will be fine, but this situation isn't helping his assistant's stress levels.

"Zelgadis I have a plan, but I'm going to need your help," Lina says.

Letting out a deep sigh Zelgadis closes his eyes momentarily. While his physical eyes are closed, he continues to study Lina's demeanor critically. Coming to a decision he opens his useless eyes again and stares at Lina intently. He lets his blind gaze bind Lina until he can feel her discomfort.

"I do not appreciate that my assistant has been hurt because of a new enemy you have made," Zelgadis says.

"It's not like I . . ." Lina begins to say, but she is stopped when Zelgadis raises his hand.

"Hear me out," Zelgadis says patiently. "I want to make this man pay for the trouble he's caused us so if your request means getting back at him . . ." Zelgadis smiles coolly. "Then I will readily comply."

Lina smiles.

"But I'm irritated with you," Zelgadis clarifies while still smiling at her.

Lina is momentarily left deflated and chuckles nervously. "Well, okay than," Lina says. "First I want you to locate Geist. As soon as you find him, I'm going to have Amelia destroy the spirit for good."

"And why do you think it will work this time?" Zelgadis asks.

"Quite mumbling, I know you can't hear your voice, but still."

Zelgadis chooses to ignore her quip and waits patiently for her answer.

"I hope to catch him off guard; Geist and his master don't know that you can see him. So while I go and pretend to study in your office Amelia and you will go find Geist and kill him."

"Sounds simple enough, but take this into consideration," Zelgadis says. "Crowling has been dealing with this for quite some time; there is a high possibility that Geist knows of my astral vision abilities."

"Naw, I don't think so," Lina says. "You see if that were the case than he wouldn't have possessed Crowling again. Not for the simple purpose of delivering that message today right in front of you."

"Well he certainly had the gull to appear in front of two of the strongest priestess's in all Seyruun," Zelgadis reminds Lina.

"Geist is much too conceited a spirit to have noticed you. If anything he sounded annoyed that Crowling has been spending so much time with you these past two weeks. He see's you as a waste of time. Trust me it's going to work," Lina says confidently. "The second piece of my plan is going to be the tricky part."

"Really?" Zelgadis says.

"First kill Geist; then I'll tell you the rest."

"Like I have a choice," having spoken his mind Zelgadis doesn't give Lina the privilege of having the last word and cuts off the link between them. Amelia and Xellos follow after Zelgadis as he begins to search the premise for the evil ghost.

It doesn't take him long to locate the creature.

The ghost has now further insulted all of Seyruun by silently residing in the body of the head priest of Seyruun. Whoever this spirit is, he is good at what he does. Zelgadis suspects that the ghost's abilities have been enhanced in some way. For a brief moment, Zelgadis even wonders who this spirit once was when alive.

Beside him, Amelia squints at the head priest with an apprehension Zelgadis can easily taste. She is finding it difficult to accept the fact that the head priest of Seyruun has been possessed. Not only that, but her pride is slightly smothered as well.

"Are you sure Mister Zelgadis?" Amelia asks for the third time.

Zelgadis tries not to bite his lip in annoyance. Why don't they just trust him? He trusts them absolutely, not that he has much choice given his current position, but still. Come to think of it, he didn't tell them about Xellos. Zelgadis chooses to ignore this for the time being.

He looks at her and is about to let out a terse response, but stops when he looks at her varied emotions. The truth is that Amelia does trust Zelgadis, but she also is trying to accept what this will mean for her people. The pride and esteem of the white capital has just been compromised and insulted.

"Yes, I am sure," Zelgadis says smoothly.

"Alright," Amelia says. "I'm going to wait until everyone else leaves. I don't want to cause a scene. It wouldn't be considerate for Mister Helmph's image or our prestige as the white capital of the world."

"Wise decision," Zelgadis says and gives her a nod of approval. This simple action causes Amelia's astral form to glow happily for a moment as she moves into the building; closer to her target. Zelgadis patiently waits outside for a short span of time, but soon follows after Amelia at a discrete distance. Her form looks intent as she waits close by, Zelgadis can only imagine the conflicting thoughts passing through her mind at the moment.

As he watches her, Zelgadis ponders more personal matters. Amelia is a sweet girl, but he wonders if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. She's smart, attractive, and one of the best friends he has ever had since he lost Rodimus and Zolf. Sure Amelia can be annoying and clingy at times, but he realizes that he has his own quirks. Constantly wishing to travel and complaining to name a few.

With a slight hiss, Zelgadis realizes what an idiot he's been. Here he has been given a second chance at living and he has still remained closed off to the people closest to him. Moreover, with his new slew of problems, what is stopping his from taking the next step? This might be his chance.

But as he looks at Amelia he cannot come to a decision right here and now about it. She has grown into a fine woman, but he cannot love her. It is as if a part of him is still the unfeeling chimera from all those years ago, incapable of feeling anything. Zelgadis is so completely lost in thought that he forgets one important thing.

Now that Amelia is gone he is left alone with the mysterious priest again.

"You seem to be a bit agitated, are you doing okay Zel Zel?" Xellos happily asks.

Zelgadis curses under his breath and refrains from answering Xellos out loud. Besides, Zelgadis has no way of knowing if Xellos is even visible, the last thing Zelgadis wants to do is blow his own cover by answering out loud.

"(I'm)(angry)(Lina)" Zelgadis signs to Xellos, finding the lie quite easy to fabricate in order to conceal the true cause of his agitation. Not that he is technically lying; after all he is still quite ticked off with the other woman. For a brief moment Zelgadis considers why he cares about Lina enough to waste his time being upset with her. After all, Lina is just being Lina, he cannot stop it, but he still cares.

Wait, he cares . . . about Lina.

Now that's a though he hasn't cultivated in years.

"Why on the four worlds would you be angry with her? Lina is who she is after all, it's not like she would let Crowling die?" Xellos says mirroring Zelgadis's thoughts to a tee. Zelgadis can almost swear that Xellos's cone like form is smiling, even without a face. The monster also looks like he's in slight pain for some reason. Xellos continues talking while Zelgadis does his best to stifle his embarrassment. "Don't you trust Lina? Didn't you tell Ralnker that you would no longer be deaf, mute, and blind to the friends around you who supported you? Didn't you . . ."

"I do not need to hear this from you!" Zelgadis screams at Xellos on the astral plane with a bright red face. Zelgadis panics. Did he just manage to talk to Xellos on the astral plane without casting a spell?

Xellos's smile and glee seems to increase, along with his pain, which scares Zelgadis. "Interesting," Xellos says. "You're progressing much faster. Won't be long now."

"(What)?" Zelgadis signs angrily. Xellos has voiced Zelgadis's inner thoughts perfectly though. While Xellos will be the exception, Zelgadis has no need to maintain his agitation towards Lina. Lina is Lina, Zelgadis repeats to himself. He should be grateful that Lina adherently follows the strange code of conduct she does, showing an admirable amount of concern for those around her when they need her. Especially concerning her friends. Yes, unless, Gourry is being flung at a giant jellyfish or Amelia and Zelgadis are left to fight mutant chimera pets, Lina will still have a plan to help them out of any situation they end up in.

And save the world.

Zelgadis's thoughts are only broken when he sees a bright flash of light on the astral plane. Running from his hiding place, he races into the room where Amelia has just landed a strong, direct hit on Geist. Unfortunately, Geist is regaining his bearings and is preparing to flee.

Zelgadis is faster. Just as Geist slowly separates from the head white priest, Zelgadis fires an astral break spell.

Shocked at being caught so easily, Geist cries out in pain and is left to watch himself slowly disappear without knowing why. In bewilderment, the fading ghost manages to locate the reason for his demise. He stares at Zelgadis in wonder.

"How did you see . . . me," Geist whispers on the astral plane only to be snuffed out like a wavering candle.

Zelgadis lets out a sigh of relief. Now Crowling and the other priests can rest easy.

"Has he moved on?" Amelia asks Zelgadis as she helps the priest to his feet.

"He isn't coming back," Zelgadis answers.

The priest, Mister Helmph, looks at Zelgadis and Amelia quizzically, but he quickly regains his frazzled mind and proudly stands on his own two feet.

"That was certainly no ordinary ghost," Amelia says for only Zelgadis to hear.

"No . . . no it wasn't," Zelgadis wonders quietly, he doesn't want the priest to hear him.

"You're mumbling again," Amelia giggles.

Zelgadis grunts.

"Great teamwork everyone," Xellos says as he claps his hands together in mock praise. "I guess you won't need to worry about that little nuisance anymore."

Reading Amelia's lips on the astral plane, Zelgadis can see her say "Mister Xellos?" in mild shock. At first Zelgadis wonders why the young woman seems surprised to see the monster. Hasn't Amelia known since yesterday that Xellos has been following him around, but then it hits him. Xellos, the Mazoku general priest, is actually inside the holy shrine!

Now it is Zelgadis's turn to look shocked. Carefully, he studies Xellos's form and finds that the monster's astral body is not as strong as it normally appears. The monster is certainly feeling the effects of the holy shrine. No wonder Xellos appeared to be in pain earlier.

"What are you doing here?" Zelgadis asks. With evident embarrassment, Zelgadis realizes that he was overly distracted with his thoughts of Amelia and Lina.

"Oh you just noticed?" Xellos smiles. "Well, it doesn't matter now, but I would appreciate leaving this foul place as soon as possible. We should report back to Lina our success don't you think. I'm curious to hear what the second part of her plan is."

"Mister Xellos has a point," Amelia says after an awkward pause. "You should go tell Miss Lina what happened."

"What about you," Zelgadis says with slight concern.

"Well, I should stay with the head priest and make sure he's alright," Amelia replies dutifully. "Being possessed can have damaging effects on the host."

Biting the inside of his cheek Zelgadis refrains from complaining and tries not to look at Xellos. He hates being left alone with this monster again. "When you're done please meet up with us in my office if you can."

"Right! Mister Zelgadis," Amelia says happily. "Will do!"

Her shrill happiness makes Xellos's form quiver again, which momentarily amuses Zelgadis. The old monster does look a bit ill. As this conversation takes place, the priest is only hearing what Zelgadis says. Amelia is speaking using the spell and Xellos's presence must be a shock. The priest's confusion does not concern Zelgadis though.

With a quick goodbye, the human and monster leave together and head back to where Lina should be studying. Zelgadis gives Xellos a hard stare, now that his attention has been redirected onto Xellos's strange decision. What on the four worlds would give Xellos reason enough to follow him into the holy temple? While Zelgadis has the option of asking Xellos directly, the deaf man has a feeling that it wouldn't do him much good.

"Is it a secret," Zelgadis asks.

"Please clarify," Xellos says politely.

Zelgadis rolls his blind eyes. Isn't everything a secret? Apparently, not, so Zelgadis asks. "Why did you follow us into the holy shrine?"

"For now, it is a secret," Xellos agrees.

Zelgadis doesn't push the matter. Left with the option of knowing the truth or remaining ignorant is once again of no concern to Zelgadis. Zelgadis doesn't really want to know why the deranged monster priest dared to follow him. What if he got an answer? He might even find out why Xellos has been following him all this time.

Avoiding the answer seems safest. As safe as walking on thin ice, that is.

The least threatening reason Zelgadis can figure for the monster risking a trip into the temple is to insure that Lina's plan would work. That and to make sure he can hear the second portion of Lina's plan.

"Are you going to hurt Lina?" At this moment they are entering the building to Zelgadis's office.

"Not physically, but it all depends on what she plans on doing next," Xellos answers cryptically.

At least he didn't answer with 'that is a secret', but still.

"Is the second part of Lina's plan that important to you?" Zelgadis asks.

"Well, aren't you curious," Xellos asks instead.

"No I'm not," Zelgadis says honestly. "I've been avoiding asking the important questions with the simple goal of self preservation." The remainder of their trip up the stairs is walked in uncomfortable silence.

Dread and annoyance are always the feelings that creep up Zelgadis's spine when Lina reveals a plan. Even after coming to know her so well, he still feels the same dread. A slight pain wriggles its way across Zelgadis's skin, but he ignores it when he reaches his office.

Hesitating only a moment Zelgadis opens the door.

Author's Note: Zelgadis goes through a lot of soul searching in this. It builds off the conclusions he came to in the first story, but for the most part he is stuck in a rut. As for Giest, well he is a short lived OC, which is not surprising. At least Crowling is still alive.