All in all, Kenny could definitely say he was impressed. He'd had a bad feeling on the way here, increased because he'd taken the time to walk and work himself up unintentionally, but it seemed that this was going to be fairly normal. Which was something Kenny had never imagined saying about the person he was visiting.

A few minutes before his alarm had even gone off this morning, Kenny had received a text from Eric Cartman, inviting him over for coffee and offering to drive him to work when they were done. Now right away Kenny had been thrown off. Coffee? Since when did Cartman drink anything domestic like coffee? He'd brushed that off out of curiosity and that same intrigue had led him here.

Cartman and Wendy had moved in to this apartment building a few months ago and Kenny had to give it to them; it was a nice place. Bright flowers and shrubbery lined the building and the patios available to certain tenants. It was sort of tucked away from traffic and the main roads, so it was nice and quiet here. Even when he stepped inside, courtesy of a friendly resident who had let him in without question, the place looked open and sophisticated. Which were two more words Kenny had never associated with Cartman. The number detailed in the text was on the first floor, room 10 it seemed, so Kenny made his way around the stair case and down a hallway across from the main doors until he'd reached the brass number plates fastened to the wall above a little buzzer that served as a doorbell and pushed the button.

Kenny sighed, shuffling his feet on the short carpet outside the door, wondering if he should have just blown Cartman off and stayed home. After his trip with Craig yesterday, he had kind of wanted to talk to Kyle and work something similar to a plan of action out before he had to see the dark haired tease at work today. It hadn't helped that right off the bat, Kyle had been out at work and Kenny had left him a note suggesting a work board so they could write down their shifts and know when the other was out.

The door swung open and Kenny nearly jumped, easily lost in his thoughts of being at home instead of here.

"Hey, Kenny. Eric's just getting dressed, come on in." Wendy Testaburger was the one to open the door and Kenny had to blink a couple of times to take her in. He hadn't had any contact with Wendy since she'd broken up with Stan in high school, so the sight of her now was a little surprising.

She'd cut her hair so it was just above her shoulders, currently pulled to the side in a loose ponytail, and her stomach was visibly larger than Kenny remembered from school. Not that that was saying much, it had been years since he'd seen her.

"Hey, Wendy." Kenny said, awkwardly trying to make conversation with the girl to be polite. "Thanks for having me over."

"No problem," Wendy closed the door as Kenny stepped in and she gave him a friendly smile. "How've you been?"

Kenny very nearly wanted to laugh at her. How had he been? He highly doubted Wendy really cared, but Cartman wasn't in sight just yet so he answered her, albeit reluctantly.

"I've been better." He shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh?" Wendy pushed, moving to the kitchen and mixing up a small bowl of salad she'd apparently been working on before Kenny had gotten here.

"Family issues, relationship issues, going to be moving in a bit." Kenny said vaguely, not really wanting to go into detail, despite how much he wanted to ask someone about how to handle his next move with Craig.

"He here?" A voice called out from what Kenny assumed was probably the bedroom.

"Yes." Wendy replied. "Get your ass out here."

Kenny narrowed his eyes. That was usually a mean thing to say, right? Why did Wendy smile when she said it?

"I'm coming, you naggy bitch." Cartman emerged from the bedroom, dressed in a decent pair of black pants and a deep golden colored shirt. He moved to wrap an arm around Wendy from behind as she worked on her snack prep and kissed her shoulder affectionately.

Kenny was confused. Cartman caught the look on his friend's face and chuckled.

"We call each other shit all the time, don't worry. Find the place okay?" Cartman asked, briefly patting Wendy's protruding belly before rounding the kitchen counter to stand by Kenny.

"Yeah, it was easy. It's almost like I know this town." Kenny said sarcastically, but he grinned all the same.

"Smart ass." Cartman turned back towards Wendy and added, "Make us some coffee?"

"I'm sorry, make you some coffee what?" Wendy cupped a hand around her ear and leaned in her boyfriend's direction, smirk growing across her lips.

Cartman huffed dramatically and drawled out a long, "Pleeeaaaaaasssse?"

Kenny had to laugh and waved a hand dismissively when Cartman raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, sorry," Kenny explained. "I just never thought you'd be caught saying please to someone."

"I have him trained well." Wendy teased and Cartman flipped her off, though once again, it didn't seem rude. Kenny was pretty sure he was in the company of the strangest couple ever.

When Wendy had made the coffee, Cartman led Kenny to the living room couch to sit down. Wendy took her salad and sat down opposite them in a small comfy lounge chair. The living room itself was fairly nice, set up with soft grey carpeting and light blue walls. The kitchen's metallic appliances matched well with the scheme and even the sofa and chairs had been color matched, though Kenny guessed Wendy had done all of that.

"So catch me up, man." Cartman started, sipping the coffee without waiting for it to cool down. "What's been up in the world of the poor boy in town?"

"Hey, I'm not that poor anymore." Kenny defended.

"He's just messing with you." Wendy chimed in and Cartman stuck his tongue out at her.

"You're always the poor boy, Kenny, you know this. It no longer matters about your actual financial status, this was set in stone by gods long ago." Cartman elaborated.

"It was set up by you." Kenny raised his eyebrow, unable to resist a small smile at Cartman's antics.

"Nope, gods." Cartman ignored Kenny's pointed look and took another sip of coffee. "So?"

Kenny hesitated, wondering exactly what was safe to tell these two. It wasn't like he'd really been friends with Wendy and Cartman had had a nasty habit of ripping on anything he found to his amusement.

"Well, since we last spoke, I forgot to mention that I'm gonna be moving in with Kyle." Kenny started with something easy. "We were actually talking about it before you guys came over for Kyle's birthday."

"It's a pretty nice place there." Cartman said, more for Wendy's benefit than anything else. "If you can stand Kahl, that is."

"Kyle's easy to live with." Kenny shrugged.

Kenny glanced at Wendy, half expecting her to segway from Kyle into something about Stan, but a thought struck him he hadn't pondered before. Did Wendy even know that Stan and Kyle were together?

"How's your 'rents?" Cartman asked and Kenny gave him a grimace.

"I don't really care how they are." Kenny replied coolly.

"Do they know you're moving?"

"Not officially."

"Might want a bodyguard when you tell them." Cartman muttered and Kenny nodded in return.

"You wanna come beat up my parents?" He asked with a half hearted grin.

"I'm not getting into trouble with your drunken family, I have a job to protect." Cartman protested, but he grinned back.

"And a pregnant girlfriend." Wendy added.

"Yeah, but we know you can take care of yourself." Cartman teased.

"True, I only keep you around for snack runs." Wendy answered with a wise nod. "You got a girlfriend, Kenny?"

Dammit, Wendy.

Kenny gave a low hiss and stretched his arms before taking a long and deliberate sip of his coffee.

"Not exactly." He shrugged again, trying to sound as disinterested as he could.

"Not exactly? Girlfriends?" Wendy asked, emphasizing the plural with a wink.

"Boyfriends?" Cartman added, a little more accurately.

"I'm not dating. Just fooling around, like usual." Kenny avoided their eyes.

"Anyone I'd know?" Wendy leaned forward in her chair.

What a gossipy bitch. Kenny couldn't really blame her though, Kyle was the same with his unwavering curiosity when it came to things his friends were hiding from him.

"I guess. Yeah." Kenny answered noncommittally. "Craig Tucker?"

Wendy couldn't help a wicked grin from crossing her lips and Cartman barked out a laugh.

"Ice King?" Cartman clarified with a nickname Craig had earned in middle school.

"He's not that bad." Kenny tried to defend him, knowing now that he'd be prompted into talking about Craig and despite that being just what he wanted to do, he was profoundly uncomfortable doing it with Cartman and Wendy.

Kenny drew his knees in against his chest, curling up on the sofa and sipping cautiously at his drink. He took a deep breath and started with an explanation.

"The relationship trouble I mentioned was him, actually." Kenny caught Wendy nodding in acknowledgment of this statement and wondered why exactly she looked so interested in this subject. Maybe it was a girl thing. Love drama was like an addictive drug to them in this town.

"We've been...I'm not sure what this is, actually. Seeing each other without being in a relationship for a while now. The birthday party was the first time he's really been more affectionate-"

"If you can call Tucker anything close to affectionate, I think you've been brainwashed." Cartman chimed in and Kenny shot him a quick glare.

"Affectionate in his terms, like we sort of curled up on the couch together, that kind of shit." Kenny clarified. "Anyway, I don't know really how to go about hanging out with him anymore since our whole deal was no emotions and it's getting harder to keep to that."

"You like him." Wendy said. It wasn't a question.

Kenny shrugged.

"I think I might."

Contrary to what Kenny was expecting, neither one of them laughed. There was a moment of silence where both Kenny and Cartman pointedly took sips from their coffee, but eventually Cartman spoke up.

"Does he know?"

Kenny shook his head though in truth, he thought Craig probably did know. He just hadn't come out and said it yet.

"It's weird for me too, it's not like I wanted to be overly attached to him or something, but it happened." Kenny mumbled. "I'm seeing him today at work too, I'm kind of freaking out."

Cartman laughed, though it was short lived as Wendy glared at him and he waved his hand to silence her so he could explain.

"No, no, I'm not trying to be mean. Just the idea of Kenny freaking out over romantic troubles is kind of funny. You have to admit, you didn't see this coming." Cartman directed his last words to Wendy and she avoided his eye while she took another mouthful of salad.

"What?" Kenny asked, frowning. "Why is it funny?"

"You're like the town's hot shit, despite being poor and skinny and bor-"

"Eric." Wendy warned.

Cartman cleared his throat and continued, "Doesn't matter. You have skills in this area few others have, you could probably seduce a tree just by looking at it the right way. It's just a little funny that you, of all people, are suddenly all worked up and falling apart over someone who doesn't seem to give a shit about anything. Opposites attract and all that, I guess."

Kenny had to laugh at that, still not believing his playboy-ism was nearly as bad as everyone kept making it out to be, but the core concept was true. Craig was so unlike everyone else he knew that it really wasn't that surprising that he'd been drawn in. It was just troublesome. And annoying. And frustrating.

"What should I do?" He asked in a small voice, immediately hoping this didn't spur Cartman's ridicule on.

"Talk to him." Wendy was the one who answered this time.

"That's hard." Kenny complained, slouching over the sofa dramatically.

"Yeah, it is. But talk to him." Wendy repeated, moving her salad around in the bowl. "It's the only way to know for sure what he feels about you and if it's worth investing more effort in."

"Maybe I can just steal his cell phone and see if he talks about me to other people." Kenny mused.

"Or you could not turn into a stalker." Cartman suggested with a shrug, finishing the last of his coffee and moving to put the cup in the sink. Kenny noticed Wendy's eyes on her boyfriend and wondered briefly if Wendy had been honest when she'd spoken about training Cartman. It wasn't like the fat ass to clean up.

"Finish your coffee, Kenny, I'll take you to work when it gets closer to noon." Cartman called from the kitchen and Kenny instinctively checked his phone. It was only eleven am and it wouldn't take long to get to work. He settled down comfortably on the sofa again and focused on finishing his drink while it seemed Wendy had taken up telling Cartman a list of chores to be done today.

Talking to them hadn't been all that bad, really. Even if the only advice they'd given him was the very thing he'd been avoiding doing with Craig. Ugh, why was this so fucking difficult? He could take physical pain no problem and talk his way out of nearly anything, but the minute it affected his heart...dammit.

000000000

Dammit.

Craig was out of sight in the back room when Kenny got to work so his initial panic at having to see the idiot before work was for nothing. He managed to calm himself a bit with deep breaths and scold himself for acting like such a girl over this before going out to the sales floor. A co-worker of his that had recently come back from a vacation was in with him today, sporting a nice tan and perfectly curled hair. Kenny muttered a quick hello to her and she turned around to smile at him.

"Hey, Kenneth." The name tag on her shirt read Danielle and Kenny remembered that this was the one girl in all of the store who refused to shorten anyone's given name. Kenny had seen someone in Cosmetics call her Dani once and get scolded for the rest of the day. Something about 'Our parents gave us these names for a reason' and 'It's so childish to use nicknames'. Kenny didn't much care.

"Hi, Danielle." Kenny replied half heartedly. "How was your trip?"

If he was being honest, Kenny didn't hear a word Danielle said as she excitedly went off about her Caribbean trip and how her husband had been so sweet to her and...well, he didn't know what else had gone on. He didn't care. Girl gossip wasn't very interesting to him, especially when it was coming from the mouth of a stranger. He'd sit through anything Karen wanted to tell him, but she was family.

He was brought back into the conversation when Danielle said, "We've got a lot of stuff to do today."

Oh goodie.

Three hours went by fast and soon Danielle was heading home, leaving Kenny to finish up their list of chores alone. So far, there was still no sign of Craig and Kenny was beginning to wonder if the boy had just called in sick. He didn't have much time to ponder that, however, because two very unwelcome guests had crept up in his field of vision.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Kenny…" Carol started up and Kenny tried judging just how far gone his parents were, both of them standing in front of his counter and Stuart's face arranged in a less than agreeable expression. Usually when they were drunk they stayed home. How they'd even gotten here was beyond Kenny.

"I heard you walked out on your mother." Stuart's voice was low and Kenny backed up a step instinctively.

"I had something to do." Kenny bluffed.

"Listen, you little shit-" Stuart leaned forward but Carol caught him and for a moment, Kenny was grateful to his mother.

"Listen," Stuart edited himself. "As long as you live under our roof, you'll do as we say. If your mother was speaking to you, you are to be respectful, do you hear?"

Kenny bit down on his lower lip, comments on how disrespectful the family was by nature or to break the news of his moving threatening to slip out with every breath he took.

"We want you back home. No more playing around with your friends, you live with us, you'll come back home." Stuart clapped a hand down on the counter for emphasis and Kenny's eyes were drawn to it. Stuart had cuts on his hand, probably from breaking a beer bottle or something stupid, but the man clearly wasn't allowing them time to heal.

"After your shift, we'll come pick you up, what time are you off?"

Kenny felt an icy grip take hold of him, flooding his body with an inability to speak and fear that his parents might actually get their way. He didn't want to start a riot at work, so his normal quips weren't acceptable. If he said no, there'd be hell to pay. But if he said yes...

"Is there a problem?"

Kenny jumped and looked at his parents, but neither of them were looking at him. A hand closed over Kenny's shoulder and he turned his gaze to see Craig standing next to him, his dark eyes focused on Stuart.

"What time does Kenny get off work?" Stuart asked, obviously assuming that Craig worked with Kenny.

"We can't tell associate information to customers." Craig answered and Kenny bit his lip again. Craig's nonchalant nature and lack of any real polite courtesy might just push on that riot Kenny was afraid of. He opened his mouth to just tell his parents he'd be off at six thirty, despite his schedule ending at six so he'd have time to escape, but Craig covered his mouth with one of his hands.

"The manager asked me to bring Kenny to the back room to help sort out storage, so you can talk to him at a later date." Craig lied flawlessly and for a second, even Kenny looked up at him curiously, wondering what the manager would ask that for but it eventually sunk in. Craig was giving him an escape.

He nodded and Craig let go of him to head back to the set of swinging doors that led to the backroom that was present in every section like this. Kenny gave his parents a false look of apology and started to follow, but Stuart stopped them both by raising his goddamn voice.

"Kenny, come back here now and answer my question. Stop behaving like a child!"

Big words, Kenny thought. Maybe they weren't as drunk as he'd assumed.

Before Kenny could turn back, Craig had passed him to reach the counter first.

"Ken is doing his job, like an adult should. It's you who should stop behaving like a child. If you don't stop interrupting his work, I'll be well within my rights to call security and have you escorted out." Craig had his hands planted on the counter, leaning to what Kenny believed was far too close to his parents violent reach, his voice at a level Kenny had never heard before.

Without waiting for an answer, Craig withdrew and grabbed Kenny by the arm, pulling him through the doors and away from his section. Kenny wanted to protest and say that he was the only one in Bakery until six and that he needed to stay there, but common sense and straight up fear kept his mouth shut. He kind of thought he might be sick if he tried to speak. Craig led him to the staff room and the moment the boy had let go of his arm, Kenny collapsed into an available chair, his legs weak.

The staff room was empty so there wasn't a worry of being caught in a vulnerable state and Craig even shut the main door to prevent anyone from coming in.

"You okay?" Craig asked, crouching down next to Kenny and resting a warm hand on the blonde knee.

"Thanks." Kenny breathed out, his voice barely above a whisper. He tried to laugh, but it came out shaky. "I'm not even sure why I'm so freaked out."

"Because you're sensitive." Craig stated and Kenny chuckled uneasily again.

"I'm fucking manly, dude." Kenny teased. He was trying to be funny, overthrow his current state with humor, but it just kind of made him want to cry. Parents shouldn't inflict a state of paralyzing fear and disappointment from their children, it just didn't seem right.

"Yeah." Craig rolled his eyes. "Real manly."

"Thanks though." Kenny repeated, looking at Craig properly this time. "For taking me out of there."

Craig shrugged and moved to pull up another chair so he could sit across from Kenny.

"I was going up to see if you were in today and saw them bitching at you. Wasn't hard to figure out you needed some help."

"My hero." Kenny drawled, smiling despite what had just happened.

The two of them sat in silence for a bit, Kenny taking deep breaths to calm himself down and Craig absently running his hands along Kenny's legs. Strangely enough, Craig's stroking was working quite well to calm Kenny down and the blonde focused his eyes on the man's hands. This would be a perfect time to bring up what Wendy had told him to do. He was already losing his cool status by being scared of his own parents, so what could it hurt to bring this up?

"We should go on a date." Kenny mumbled and Craig glanced up at him curiously. It wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to say, but it was close enough so he'd run with it.

"Hm?"

"I mean...like, I owe you now." Kenny shrugged, already feeling himself chickening out now that he'd opened his mouth. "Let me take you on a date."

"Dates weren't part of our deal." Craig didn't seem particularly put off by this idea, regardless of his words so Kenny pressed onwards.

"It doesn't have to be like...overly romantic or anything. Dinner and a movie, we can just go casually. Nothing formal. I'll pay for everything." Kenny hoped and, were he a religious kid, might have even prayed that Craig would just say yes and not make a big deal out of this. He'd never seen relationships as something big and daunting, but then again, not everyone had a crush on the intimidating Craig Tucker.

"You'll pay?" Craig smirked slightly and lowered his head, his hands slowing in their journey along Kenny's work pants. "I guess."

Kenny would have given a triumphant fist pump if he weren't sure Craig would see it.

"Tonight then?" Kenny asked.

"Sure. But give me a chance to go home and shower, I've been in that fucking dank back room all day." Craig said, withdrawing one of his hands to run his fingers through his hair. He might have been checking to see if his hair was greasy, but all Kenny thought was that he looked fucking good when he played with his hair. Oh the joys of having a crush.

Kenny nearly rolled his eyes at his own reaction, but caught himself to simply nod and say, "Yeah, I'll come pick you up later. I kinda want to get changed first too. When are you off?"

"Five." Craig answered, looking at Kenny and raising an eyebrow. "When do you actually get off work, now that your parents are gone?"

"Six." Kenny glanced at the staff room doors and made a face. "I...kind of don't want to go back out there though."

"Ask the manager?" Craig suggested, standing up and holding out a hand for Kenny.

"I might. Either way, come get you around eight?" Kenny changed the subject back to the date, letting Craig grab his hand and pull him to his feet.

"Sure."

0000000

It wasn't often when Kenny bragged about having the best managers every because...well, honestly, they were kind of crap. But today, when he'd asked to go home early and reluctantly explained the situation, his department manager had had the good sense to let him leave. Even asked for a description of his parents so they couldn't get into the store or at least not into his section without someone there to mediate.

He all but collapsed onto the couch when he got home, which was rather unlucky for Kyle, who was sitting on the couch at the time.

"Dude, you're heavy, get off my legs." Kyle complained but Kenny just nuzzled his cheek against Kyle's pant leg and mumbled out, "No."

"Short shift today?"

"Sort of. Parents came around. Started shit."

That got Kyle's attention.

"Really? What did they do?"

"Tried to get me to come back and live with them. Craig saved me." Kenny explained briefly, not really wanting to go into detail.

"Craig?" Kyle arched an eyebrow. "Nice."

"We're going on a date tonight." Kenny said cheerfully, cuddling Kyle's legs again, ignoring the protests of the redhead.

"That's nice. How about getting off me then to get ready?" Kyle suggested in a dull voice.

"No, he's not off until five. Cuddle me and love it, dammit."

Kyle grinned, trying not to laugh and giving a very dramatic sigh before saying, "Fine, but sit up and I'll cuddle you."

Kenny rose, letting Kyle shift into a more comfortable spot and settled himself in under Kyle's arm. The redhead was warm and Kenny nearly purred, looping his arms around Kyle's slim middle and letting Kyle resume channel surfing he'd started since Kenny had gotten home.

The idea of going out on a date with Craig was keeping Kenny buzzing. An actual date. Where he could treat that stoic bastard for being so goddamn sweet without warning. Maybe he'd find a way to tell if Craig liked him through these means. Kenny knew it was a little strange to be thinking that way, but a simple cuddle from Craig had had Kenny reevaluating everything their deal had consisted of, so maybe Craig would be the same way when Kenny was the one offering the affection.

He had the whole evening planned out, had even checked movie times on his phone on the walk home today. The only thing he didn't know was...

"What should I wear?" Kenny mused aloud.

"Good question." Kyle was of no help.

0000000

Author's Note:

So I'm trying to get back to weekly updates. Sundays are my deadlines, I'm thinking, for those lovely people who would want to know.

There will be a bonus shorter chapter to this one detailing the date these two go on; I meant to add it in this chapter, but I didn't want to overwhelm this chapter with word count.

After the bonus chapter, I'll be continuing with the next sequence : )