Chapter 21:My mistake

Xena POV

So close..so close to make a mistake. Luckily for me Gabrielle interrupted us.

"Gabrielle..help me carry him back to his room, will ya'?" I said to her once she was near us..Ares was still glued to his horse, the reins in his hands.

"I heard you.. and I'm not going anywhere.." He muttered looking at us. By all living Gods he could be so stubborn when he wanted to..

I took him by one arm and Gabrielle by the other.. but when he saw himself dragged away he tried to break free from our grasp.

"I'm not going..Ohh my head is spinning.." He complained, pushing us both firmly aside and falling to the ground the very next second.

"Come on..you can't sleep here.."I tried again and despite himself, he nodded. We were finally getting somewhere.

Minutes later, he was crushing on his bed.

"I will make him some tea or something.."Gabrielle said, leaving the premises as fast as a lightening bolt, as if wanting to give us some space.

"Ohh my throat is so dry.."

"Do you want some water?" I asked, rolling my eyes at him, silently telling myself that I would have actually loved to pour at least a few liters on his head instead.

"Here..!"

He took the glass from my hand and gulped it all away.

I turned around for one second to put the glass on the table and by the time I opened my mouth to ask if he needed something else, he was already snoring.

"Ares.."

I slowly made my way towards the bed, gently placing a blanket over him, to keep him warm…Even asleep he looked so sad and broken….It killed me to see him like that.

"Xena.." Gabrielle exploded bursting in.. "I made a..Is he asleep?"

I just nodded.

"Come on.."

She put the tea on the same table where the water was and we headed for the door.

"I bumped into Cyrene earlier. She said that Eve is asleep in her room.."

"Good..Thank you for letting me know..Good night!" I answered quickly and went to my last thing I wanted was for her to question me about Ares….or even worse to lecture me on one thing or the other.

I took a nice bath and then I tried to sleep..Morpheus came, but as late as he had always come during those last months..When I woke up it was still dark outside..I decided to take a breath of fresh air and my feet just dragged me out of my room. Soon, I was in front of his door. I tried to convince myself to keep walking but I found my brain completely defeated by the necessity to see how he was doing..

I cracked the door open slowly, careful not to wake him up. It was dark inside but the light of the fading moon was reflecting on his beautiful face. He was still in the same position I had left him a few hours before. He looked extremely peaceful now but I knew better..

I leaned into the wall from where I could see him perfectly..Why did I like tormenting myself?

He suddenly started to move, wrapping his strong arms around himself. He was probably cold. I instinctively rushed and put a second blanket over him. That's when he touched my hand.

"Xena.."

I froze. I opened my lips to reply and that's when I took a better look to his face. His eyes were still closed. He was dreaming.

"No..no..trust me..please..trust me.."

How could I? I answered him in my mind.

I turned around to leave and when I opened the door I heard him whisper my name again and I looked back just to find him staring back at me, wide awake.

"I was just.. checking the water.."

Checking the water? What lame excuse was that?

His eyebrows lifted slightly but he let it go.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head is still spinning but I'm better.."

He looked out the window.."It's still dark..Why aren't you sleeping?"

He tried to get up but a wave of dizziness made him stumble back and fortunately I caught him just on time. I can't exactly tell when did I manage to cover the space between us so fast but I was glad I was there to keep him from getting hurt.

"Easy...here you go.." I said, helping him to regain his balance and to sit back down on the edge of the bed.

He just looked me in the eyes and we were again so unbearably close..too close for my liking…too close to feel safe.

"Thank you.." He said, making sure to whisper a heartbreaking "for carrying" when seeing my reaction.

"Yeah…" I simply replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Xena.. it's true what I said..that I'm sorry..I didn't wanted to lie to you but we both know that you would have refused to stay the minute you would have heard from Aphrodite that Eve was safe from Athena's wrath."

I was suddenly feeling nervous again at his proximity.

He looked intensively into my eyes and took a lock of hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"Do you believe me?"

His breath lingered heavily on my lips and I bit them hard. I just couldn't help it.

"I won't lie to you again...I promise…."

And than, right out of nowhere, his lips crushed mine with unbelievable force, and despite the fact that my brain was yelling at me out loud to repress any intention to return the kiss, I found myself doing the exact opposite…..How could I have done it otherwise when his hands were all over me?

"I want you so badly.." I heard him say. Surprising even myself, I just kissed him back even more passionately.

His voice was intoxicated with desire... He then proceeded kissing my neck and made me even more tense…...

I finally tried to snap out of it…

"Ar..Ares no.." I uttered weakly but that was definitely not what I wanted him to do and he could surely feel that… Truth being said..I wanted him just as badly but… He didn't stop at my fragile protests but kissed me again and again letting me breathless.

"Stop!"I demanded putting a halt to his kisses and pulling away from his embrace.

"Xena..don't leave.." He pleaded his voice barely audible.

"You'd better go back to sleep."I said and left without looking back…

Safe from him, cuddled back in my bed I realized that my mistake was tough inevitable.