Inspired by Sarah Blasko- perfect now.
warning:contains blood.
order In Sight
It was now the fourth day, or to be precise-night.
I was sitting, inside the cave on some elaborate rug.
Fortunately, I had most of the time for myself. Except for the lessons, I was left undisturbed by Dmitri who had his own things to do.
And I kept to myself-though I can't say I wasn't curios as to what the strange vampire was up to.
Giving in to animal instincts proved to be easier than I expected, possibly because there was no one around, to be ashamed of.
Or maybe that's what being a vampire was all about. And so I found myself, waking up at sunset each day.
Usually a little later then Dmitri who was older and stronger, and tended to go on errands during the day. And come back to rest, while I slept my new peaceful nightmare free- vampire sleep.
Next came the inevitable. It was a silent affair-the feeding. We would go deeper into the woods, catch our unlucky pray and feed until the worst of the hunger subsided.
I never killed. I simply couldn't, but under Dmitri's directions I learned to locate the forest animals and trap them.
All that meant was standing in the animals path- waiting, in other words if a vampire is hunting you consider the outcome-death.
Or at list that's what Dmitri claimed in our lessons, he liked talking about vampires being a high and elegant version of predators, superior to humans.
I wasn't convinced; I saw vampires as being a version of humans tainted by darkness, with major disabilities. And though that didn't mean they-we are essentially evil, it sure wasn't a claim to any superiority. And so I found myself, at a loss.
My world view- in complete turmoil. Good and evil weren't so easy to define anymore, and defining who I was even more difficult. It was like waking up one summer day to find it was snowing outside, the ideas kept running in my mind obscuring my emotions-for the moment.
I remembered what I read in one of my forbidden books, and could finally see how the multicolored version of morality and magic applied to the world. Though on my scale, vampirism was still a very dark gray.
If not a vivid black, so I sat there wanting of all things- a mirror.
To stand in front of its glossy surface and see something tangible reflected back at me, clear in its direct meaning.
A brief search through the cave brought a small mirror shard, and I suddenly panicked at the thought that the old vampire myth is true and I won't manifest in the mirror.
I almost dropped the shard, but automatically caught it, yet it slipped through my fingers cutting my palm as it fell on the floor with a thump.
Holding my right wrist, I watched, mesmerized as a scarlet line appeared across my palm, and the familiar scent of blood hit my nose, leaning my back on the hard wall.
I felt my hunger burn. I hadn't fed yet, but ho how I hated the feeling, the burning beast that lived inside of me now. That I was stupid enough to think I could ignore…
So I found myself moving, running fast letting vampire take over my senses.
As I run, with inhuman speed through the woods, I let branches slap my face and rocks batter my feet. Uncaring, just running to where I knew was the pray.
Where the tantalizing scent of life, was at.
I grabbed with my bare hands, reaching out to take what was mine by natured right.
Unreasoning, not even human.
Yet, very much alive and yearning to be answered.
I pounced on what I perceived as pray but was probably a deer, with extended fangs and a loud beastly snarl.
I tore at its throat, hungrily filling my mouth with the sweet liquid that poured.
I drank indulgently. Until time itself stopped, as the animals heart became silent in my grasp.
And a rising horror filled me, I felt filthily, and the burning in my stomach was of shame not hunger.
I fell on my back, ignoring the sharp welcoming of the stone covered ground.
I deserved it.
'Well well w…I see someone has managed just fine without me'
Dmitri. Guess I deserve him too. 'What do you want?' it came out hoarse as if I was crying.
Dmitri slowly came to stand over me; I searched his eyes for revulsion or malice, but found none.
Instead he seemed to glow with excitement. 'You have finally done it, Harry' he reached out his arm to help me up. And I reluctantly took it.
'You don't understand' I said, feeling the delayed tears fill my eyes.
'What? That you feel guilty for letting the beast have its way with you? That you hate yourself?' I sharply let go of his hand 'no!..Maybe- I don't know Dmitri I'm confused!'
-'You talk about grace and now look at this; I pointed at the blood bath, is this how grace looks like?'
I felt him cringe and take a step back 'yes, I meant what I taught you Harry, and you shouldn't feel ashamed, you did the most natural thing you can do! You fed, all creature need to feed. I don't suppose Hogwarts meals send you on a similar guilt trip…'
I stared at him; he looked furious and beautiful in his fury.
'Though I'm starting to think…' it stung, I knew what his next words would be 'stop!' I felt defeated;' your right I'm not meant to be a vampire, I'm not meant to be anything'…I let my words hang in the silence that followed, feeling my heart sink by the moment.
' Your meant to be everything Harry potter'.
I heard the whisper but I couldn't make myself move, I heard him come close once more.
And felt his hand land on my shoulder, while his other arm circled me and gently turned me around until I was facing him.
He held my chin as he whispered ' of one thing you can always be sure of. Dmitri Nochnoy doesn't make mistakes.'
He stopped as if waiting for me to smile at that.
'I made my choice well, you are meant to be a vampire as far as anyone can be'.
As I stared into his deep lustrous blue eyes, his confidence seemed to seep right through my skin and the air I was breathing.
'You promise?' he smiled; 'as I said- I never make mistakes.'
Later, maybe much later.
After he fed, and I got cleaned up in the nearest stream.
We went back to the cave, and Dmitri silently handed me the mirror shard.
The night was coming to a close, I felt peaceful and at home within the cave.
Behind the stone walls and surrounded by my teachers scent.
Dmitri was respectably silent as I set down on what was now 'my rug'.
He lit small sized candles across the floor, which created shadows on the walls.
One of which was oddly shaped like a deer. I swallowed and looked down into the mirror. This is what I saw:
Two slightly deep set eyes, round and open wide as if surprised.
Pale green rimmed with a darker shade ring. Glistening with unshed tears, eyelashes wet and feathery, casting shadows on my cheeks.
Moving the mirror farther revealed the rest of the picture: an unusually pale oval face, with a pointy chin.
Surrounded by a jet black cloud of hair, that seemed to glisten like it never did before.
It looked like metal armor, the candle flames almost reflecting in its surface.
It was the mouth of the boy that caught my attention; small, but cushioned and most strikingly sensual in its forever blushing hue.
And behind it I knew to be fangs…
But it wasn't me! I gasped realizing I looked different after all. But I couldn't point to what it was, for I still looked like me.
True, my complexion seemed luminous, as if dusted with fairy dust. But I was still me, with wild hair and my mother's eyes. And then it hit me;
What was different was the expression in my eyes, untamed, holding no trace of embarrassment, but tinted with inky darkness.
It's not my lips what were different, but rather a veil of humanity was lifted from my face, and probably my body.
Revealing the person inside, as a vampire Harry potter couldn't have glasses to shade his face, as he couldn't have the darkness he knew be concealed. This was the real me.
And even as the fear of the exposure crushed my heart-those eyes in the mirror showed no fear only acceptance.