There is always an opposite and equal reaction to every action. I'm a scientist, I know this as one of the most fundamental laws. But there are some things that pass understanding. Somethings that are not worth trying to figure out. And there are some things I refuse to accept. The most obvious one is, you invade my privacy, expect repercussions. Having three brothers is not a good combination to not having your privacy violated. In fact, it is often that I find someone reading my stuff, going through my lab. Dealing with MY STUFF! I mean seriously, who does that? I'm invisible to them, but my stuff? A glowing neon sign that says 'touch me! Break me!' I can never get a break. This is why I don't keep up much of a journal. Why bother, when they are going to read it anyway? But I have to write about this! I have to vent somehow! Sainted Leo thinks he's so perfect that he can pass moral judgment on every one of our actions. Perfect Leo knows what is best for all of us. The wise and wonderful Leonardo makes no error in judgment, no mistakes at all. All his actions are flawless. Oh, sweet God in heaven, give me a break!
I got friends on-line because I need to talk to SOMEBODY about something that matters to ME! People who understand that science just might be cool. That being a geek is not something to be ashamed of. That maybe actually hear me, and not block me out. That actually realize that I exist. But no. My brothers will never understand. I did my best. I really did. I was everything when Leo was gone. Doctor, mentor, leader, comforter, breadwinner, taskmaster, secretary, organizer, as well as my customary inventor, mechanic and general know-it-all. I tried to keep this family together! I did. The fact that I failed badly does not factor in that. I tried! And I am worn out. I am sick and tired of doing and doing and doing for everyone else and not even getting a stinking thank you or good job.
Gods, I want to die.