AN: OK, again, we're going to backtrack a little – this chapter picks up after chapter 12, really, so the first part runs parallel with the second half of chapter 13. After this I promise I'm done with the overlapping chapters and we'll be back to business as usual!

Also, this chapter has another of the starting points for this fic, and what is probably still one of my favorite parts of the whole thing. I hope you guys will like it too!

As usual, I don't own anything relating to The 100

-14-

Bellamy remembers the first few weeks on Earth – trying to make sure everyone stayed alive, struggling to keep the Grounders out, building the wall and shelters with what little they could scavenge from the Dropship and use from the woods.

In a lot of ways, it's much easier this time around. After the first couple of days, for example, they have actual machines to help them, courtesy of Raven, Shaw and Jordan, which of course simplifies the work and speeds it up. Also, they're not being attacked, so they can focus completely on getting the settlement up. And there are a lot more of them, which is of course a huge help since it means they can split up into teams and build more than one thing at a time, while also being able to spare people for hunting and gathering parties as well as cooking duty, so they don't starve.

But sometimes he still finds himself missing the old days – and yes, he knows he sounds about eighty when he says that, thank you very much, Raven. It was simpler, in a way. He had the authority and nobody questioned it… not much, anyway. Now, there are others with more experience than him, who make suggestions when they've already agreed on a course of action. He tries to take everything into consideration, but there's only so much discussing you can do before you have to move on to the actual task at hand.

They get into a routine fairly quickly, though. The mess hall takes the longest, but once they have the sawing machines, they finish it within a couple of days, and then the other public buildings in the next few weeks before moving onto the cabins.

They haven't planned an actual number of cabins to build, just figure they'll keep going until everyone has somewhere to sleep and maybe add some extra, just to be on the safe side. All cabins follow the same general plan, so they are more or less identical – a small, covered porch out front, a main room with a fireplace and space for a kitchen eventually, since Raven's using her magic to create a system with running water, a washroom and two bedrooms. They leave some space around each cabin, to make sure it will be possible to expand them with more bedrooms in the future, for when people hopefully start having kids. They can't make their own glass, so instead of windows, the cabins have one opening in each bedroom and four in the main room with shutters that can be closed against the cold or wind when needed, or opened when the weather is nice, to let the light in. They've used some glass from the ship as windows in the mess hall and med bay, where natural light with shelter from the wind feels more important, but they don't want to dismantle too much of the ship, since they might still need it.

At the end of the first month, the first bunch of cabins are ready and people start moving in, children and their families first.

Which means he suddenly sees Clarke a lot more than he has in the last few weeks.

He had every intention of finding her during breakfast the day after they landed and somehow, hopefully casually, slip into the conversation that he and Echo had ended their relationship, hoping that Clarke's reaction would at least give him an inkling of her feelings before he put his own out there.

But that idea went out the window when she made some excuse about being needed in the med bay about thirty seconds after he sat down across from her at one of the fires that morning, and since then he's hardly seen her. She's been in the med bay early every morning, and it's never empty. He sees her at breakfast and dinner most days, but there's always other people around and usually she finishes right around the time he gets there and hurries off before he has a chance to catch her. And the council meetings don't exactly give him the possibility to talk to her, especially since she's out the door almost before they decide to call it a day. After a week or so, when she makes excuses to Raven at dinner yet again about an early morning, saying that she needs sleep, he concludes that she's avoiding him, plain and simple.

"You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" Raven notes drily when he runs the theory by her.

"But seriously, we've barely said three words to each other since we landed, and she runs off within a minute as soon as I join you guys," he argues, trying to keep the annoyance in his voice to a minimum. It's not Raven's fault, after all.

She considers that for a moment. "I do see what you mean. OK, I'll talk to her."

But apparently not even Raven can perform miracles. At least not ones that aren't related to technology.

"She just shut me down," she grumbles later that day, when they're gathered around a table in the new mess hall for dinner. As usual, Clarke is conspicuously absent. "As soon as I mentioned your name, she was all 'Raven, I don't want to talk about it, please just let it go', interrupting me every time I tried to say something. And then she kicked me out of the med bay. And I mean literally, she grabbed me by the arm and walked me out of there."

He sighs. "Maybe I should just take a hint let it go."

"No!" Raven snaps. "You've been through too much together by this point to just give up. Maybe just… give her a little time?"

So he does, even if every day his hope that Clarke feels the same way as he does dies a little more when she leaves the mess hall as soon as he enters and turns to quickly talk to someone else, anyone, when he gets close to her.

But now, when she's both living and working in the new settlement, where he spends most of his days, she's everywhere.

He's grumbling about it to Miller as they work on the roof of a new cabin one day, which has become almost routine at this point. Miller usually doesn't offer much advice, mostly just grunts at appropriate intervals, but he's a good listener. Or maybe he's just ignoring Bellamy at this point, Bellamy wouldn't blame him. Either way, he's a good outlet.

"Maybe I should just forget her, move on," he mutters. "She seems to be doing just fine with that." He's extra grumpy after having seen Clarke and Niylah sitting together in the mess hall last night, talking and laughing. Yes, he's jealous, he has enough self-awareness to recognize that.

"Or maybe you should talk to her," Miller counters, one of the few pieces of advice he's been repeating all day.

"She clearly doesn't want to talk to me."

"I agree with Echo on that one, she's just scared."

"Of what?" Bellamy punctuates his question by hammering a nail into the roof plank, maybe a little harder than absolutely necessary.

"Does she actually know you and Echo ended things?" Miller asks.

Bellamy shrugs. "She should."

"Have you told her?"

"Again, she doesn't want to talk to me, so no."

"Then she might not know. You said she's been avoiding you, maybe she hasn't picked up on it and doesn't want to step on Echo's toes," Miller reasons. "And even if she does know, there could be other reasons. Maybe she doesn't think you're interested, maybe she doesn't want to be a rebound, maybe she's worried you'll ruin your friendship if you try something and it doesn't work out."

"We don't have much of a friendship now," Bellamy grumbles.

"Dude, I'm not Clarke, I'm just spouting ideas. The point is, you won't know unless you. Talk. To. Her!"

He knows Miller is right, of course, but he's scared too… not something he'd admit out loud, maybe, but he's terrified of confronting Clarke only to find out that she hasn't been avoiding him consciously at all, that she's just not interested in spending time with him now that there are other people around…

"Here's your chance," Miller continues, and before Bellamy can figure out what he means, he calls out. "Hey, Clarke!"

And sure enough, she's just turned onto the path between the cabin they're building and the row of finished cabins next to it. She's stopped in her tracks and is looking up at them, eyes slightly widened. Miller jabs him in the back and Bellamy clears his throat before speaking.

"No work in the med bay today?" he asks, kicking himself internally for not coming up with something more original. But she's not running off yet, so he's off to a better start than their conversations over the last few weeks.

"No, your guys must be getting better at not falling off buildings and cutting themselves with the saws," she replies with a half-smile.

He lets out a laugh before Miller again jabs him in the back.

"Tell her you're done for the day and ask if she wants to hang out," he whispers, low enough that it doesn't carry down to Clarke. They're not actually done, but Bellamy figures he can cut out early one day. If she agrees, that is…

"We're about done for the day here, you want some company?"

She glances around, as if hoping some excuse will just come walking by, but he knows for a fact that Madi's in the mess hall with the other kids, having lessons with Gaia, and Clarke has already admitted to not being needed in the med bay.

"I was actually looking forward to spending some quality time with Pip and Estella," she eventually says, and his stomach plummets, but he puts on a smile.

"Ah, reading Great Expectations?" Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Yeah. Maybe some other day?"

He knows that she doesn't mean it, that it's just an excuse to get him off her back, but he nods anyway and watches as she continues on her way.

"Dude!" Miller exclaims when she's turned a corner, punching him in the shoulder. Hard, too. "Go after her!"

"She said she doesn't want company," Bellamy says, shaking his head and rubbing his shoulder. "And ow! What the hell, man?"

"So what?" Miller continues exasperatedly, ignoring Bellamy's complaint. "You know she's going to be on her own until Madi gets home, this is your opportunity to actually find out what the hell is going on with her, so take it!"

He doesn't know if it's Miller's rare enthusiasm or if he's just finally snapped, but he scrambles down from the roof and takes off after Clarke.

He catches the door to her cabin before it closes completely and follows her into the main room uninvited. She swivels around, eyes widening when she sees him in her space, and he realizes that he's never been in here before.

"When are you going to stop avoiding me?" he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning back against the now closed door, just to avoid doing what he actually wants to do, which is cross the room, push her up against the wall and finally, finally find out what she tastes like. He would prefer to have some sort of hint that this wouldn't be met with a solid slap first.

"I'm not avoiding you," she replies quickly, too quickly.

Bellamy shakes his head.

"Try again, Princess."

"I'm not, seriously." She takes a few steps to her left, towards the fireplace, which conveniently puts the rough table between them. "We talked just this morning."

Bellamy huffs. "During an official meeting, yeah. Not what I'm talking about."

"We have breakfast together almost every day."

"You get up and leave like a minute after I sit down."

Clarke throws up her hands.

"It's not my fault we have different schedules. I have early shifts in the med bay, you always work late with construction…"

"It's not just that," he insists, stepping around the table so he's right in front of her. For a moment, he thinks she's going to bolt, but then she just straightens, raises her chin and stands her ground. "You couldn't get out of there fast enough just now."

He tries to hold her eyes, but she turns her head away from him, and Bellamy's heart drops into his stomach. He has to do something, has to fix whatever it is that's gone wrong between them.

"Did… did I do something?" he asks, hearing the way his voice wobbles a little. "I thought things were good, everything seemed to be fine when we were exploring with Raven and Shaw and Jordan, I don't… just tell me what I did and give me a chance to fix it, please. Because this, you running off as soon as I get near you? I fucking hate it."

Something in his voice or his words must get through, because she turns back to him, and her eyes, when they meet his, are unguarded for the first time in Bellamy doesn't know how long. And the pain in them is clear and so raw that he almost takes a step back.

"You didn't do anything, OK?" she assures him, but he just can't believe her, not when she's looking at him like that, when her voice is breaking and her breath is hitching. "This is on me. And things were fine, good, when it was just us, but… I know it's not fair to put this on you. I just need a little time, OK? To get used to… to seeing you with… to get over these feelings."

For a moment, Bellamy's mind is blank as he tries to take in what she's saying. Clarke's dropped her eyes, focusing on the floor between them, and he desperately wants her to look back up so he can find the truth in her gaze. Because it sounded almost like…

Slowly, like she's an animal he doesn't want to spook, he reaches out a hand and tilts her chin up, and even though she squeezes her eyes shut, he can still take in her expression – lips pressed together in a tight line, tears sparkling in her lashes…

In the end, the decision is made with very little input from his brain, to be honest, and before he can quite grasp what's happening, he takes a step forward, his other hand coming up to cup Clarke's face, and then his mouth is pressed against hers.

For a moment she's completely still, and he wonders wildly if maybe he did misread her after all. Then her lips soften under his, and when he experimentally tilts his head a little to the side, to get a better angle, she moves with him.

For a few, glorious moments, it's like he's finally home. He lets one hand drift down to slide around to the back of her neck, using his thumb to caress a spot under her ear, and is rewarded with a soft moan. He takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, and… she pushes him away.

"Stop," she gasps. "I can't… I can't do this again."

Bellamy's not quite sure when his brain stopped working, but try as he might, he can't make sense of what she's saying.

"I don't… when exactly did we do this before?" he finally asks.

Clarke shakes her head. "Not you, not… I can't, I won't, be the other woman again. It hurt enough with Finn and Raven and I didn't even…"

She cuts herself off, and when what she's saying finally sinks in, Bellamy can't help the laugh that bursts out of him. Clarke's eyes immediately harden.

"It's not funny," she snaps at him, again pushing against his chest to get him to move so she can get past, but he doesn't let her, instead wrapping his hands around her upper arms to keep her in place.

"I'm sorry, it's not… I'm not laughing at you," he assures her, which doesn't do much to soften her expression. "I just… you said you haven't been avoiding me!"

The hard look finally leaves her eyes and is replaced by confusion.

"I haven't," she insists again. "And anyway, what does that have to do with this?"

Bellamy's fairly sure that she's not going to make a run for it, so he takes a step back and lets go of her arms, only to run both hands through his already messy hair.

"It has everything to do with this," he says drily. "Because if you hadn't been avoiding me, and I'm guessing Raven too…"

"She was being pushy," Clarke grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, trust me, I know." Bellamy sighs before continuing. "If you hadn't been avoiding all of us, you would know that me and Echo, we ended things the day we landed on this planet."

Silence fills the room for a long moment and Bellamy watches the emotions flash across Clarke's face as she – he assumes – goes through their interactions over the last month and a half.

"But…" she finally says, voice barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you've been avoiding me!" he exclaims, a little louder than he'd planned and she flinches a little. "And… fuck, I thought you knew, so when you started making up excuses to get out of spending time with me… I figured you just didn't… didn't feel the same."

He's completely unprepared for her hand colliding with his chest in a not too gentle punch. "Hey!"

"You idiot!" she half-yells, eyes blazing. "Why didn't you just say something? I've been trying to get some distance so I could maybe, finally get over you and you just…" She trails off, angrily scrubbing at her wet cheeks, and Bellamy reaches for her again, tugging her closer by her hands this time, and to his surprise and relief, she lets him.

"I'm sorry, OK?" he says quietly when he's finally got her close enough so he can wrap one arm loosely around her waist. He lifts his other hand to her face, gently wiping away the tears that she missed herself. "I was going to talk to you the first night, after… but you disappeared before I had a chance."

Clarke frowns.

"I saw you and Echo together," she admits, her fingers flexing where her hands are pressed flat against his chest. "You were talking just outside camp and then you hugged her and I just… it hurt. Raven had been nagging me to say something to you basically since she woke up from cryo, but I realized I just couldn't, I couldn't be that person again, and knowingly this time. That's when I decided to back off, get some space…"

Bellamy sighs, leaning forward tentatively until his forehead is pressed against hers. Clarke looks up at him, their eyes inches apart.

"We suck at this, huh?" he notes, and she lets out a watery laugh.

"We really do," she agrees.

"Think we can try to do better?" he asks, nose brushing against hers as he closes the distance between them slowly.

Clarke's tongue darts out to wet her lips and he feels her hands slide up his chest and around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.

"I think I want to try," she replies in a whisper.

He doesn't know who moves to close that last breath of space between them, but it doesn't matter – all that matters is that her body's pressed up against his, her tongue soft and sweet against his own, her arms tight around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

It's everything he's ever dreamed of and somehow not enough at the same time. He needs more, needs everything. Slipping his hands under her shirt, he lets his fingers brush the sensitive skin just above her hips, and Clarke arches against him, her head falling back against the wall he has no memory of pushing her up against.

He would complain about the loss of her lips on his, but this gives him an opportunity to explore other parts of her and he presses an experimental kiss to her throat just below her ear, earning a soft gasp which encourages him to keep going.

As he makes his way down her throat, nipping at the skin before soothing it with a soft kiss or lap of his tongue, his hands continue their exploration of the skin still hidden under Clarke's shirt. He wants it off, but for that he'd have to actually move away from her and that's not even an option at the moment, so he contents himself with touching every inch he can reach, trailing one hand around to her back, his fingers slowly tracing her spine, memorizing each vertebra, while he lets the other hand continue up her side.

Clarke's still making soft, encouraging noises in the back of her throat, her fingers buried in his hair and keeping him pressed against her. When his right hand reaches his goal and he lets his thumb graze her breast through her bra, she lets out a low moan, but at the same time, one hand comes down to wrap around his wrist.

"Wait," she pants, and Bellamy reluctantly abandons the skin at her collar bone to pull back enough so he can meet her eyes, which are almost all pupil, just the barest hint of blue at the edges.

"What's wrong?" he asks, voice rough.

Clarke shakes her head, as if trying to clear it.

"Madi… Madi could be home any moment," she explains with a sigh.

They're still pressed together, so close he can feel her heart racing and her chest heaving with every breath.

"Right." With great effort, he takes a step backward, immediately missing the heat of her body against his. "Don't want her walking in on anything…"

Clarke laughs, pressing her hands against her eyes for a moment before letting them fall to her side.

"Yeah, probably not a good idea," she agrees. "Also, I just want to talk to her before we take this any further, OK?"

Bellamy nods.

"Of course, this will affect her too, she needs to be on board with it," he says, doubt making its way slowly into his mind again. "And if she's not…"

He lets the question hang unfinished in the air between them, and maybe there's something in his voice or his eyes that gives away his hesitation, because Clarke reaches for his hand and squeezes it reassuringly.

"If she's not – which I know she will be, OK, she's been not-so-subtly nudging me for a while too – then I'll talk to her and make her understand that this is my choice. It's what I want, what I need, and she doesn't have to be happy about it, but she's not a kid anymore – as she loves to remind me every chance she gets – so she'll just have to get used to it."

Clarke's proclamation leaves Bellamy speechless for a moment. He had been so sure that she would put Madi before her own wants, the way she obviously has since she took on the role as the girl's adoptive mother. He too thinks that Madi will be fine – happy, even – with this development in his and Clarke's relationship, but there is still a tiny chance that she won't be, and he'd been completely prepared for Clarke to at least put the brakes on if that were the case.

He can't resist recapturing her lips in a slow, almost chaste kiss.

"God, I love you," he mumbles against her mouth.

"I love you," she returns, voice barely above a whisper, and hearing it makes something finally slot into place deep inside him. "In case that wasn't clear."

Remembering her earlier words about Madi coming home, he – again – pulls away from her.

"It's still nice to hear," he tells her with a smile. "So… we're doing this?"

She nods once, the expression on her face one he recognizes from decisions about wars and survival.

"We're doing this," she repeats his words back to him.

"Just checking," he says with a final squeeze of her hand before he lets go. "So I guess I should get out of here so you can talk to Madi when she gets back?"

"I guess you should," Clarke agrees, the reluctance in her voice making him smile.

"See you at dinner?" he suggest, and she nods.

"See you then."

AN: OK, everything is finally out in the open! I really loved writing this one, diving into both Clarke and Bellamy's feelings and trying to sort out all the misunderstandings between them. I hope you liked it too, and if you did, please take a moment to let me know – reviews are always welcome!