Bella followed the path from Sam's house to the beach, it was bumpy and wet and flip-flops are really not good wilderness wear but she trudged on. As Frost wrote: The best way out is through. Bella couldn't help but marvel at how poets just understood people in the least obvious way imaginable, like novelist obviously understood people because their job was to create them in a sense but poets said something completely different and possibly more profound about the human condition.

What even was it to be human, with all these supernatural beings around her, Bella wondered. Robert Browning (an English playwright/poet) had said: Love, hope, fear, faith- these make humanity; these are its sign and note and character. If that is what makes a human than all the creatures Bella had come across were undoubtedly human. But how could that be, maybe Browning had it wrong; maybe she was too discombobulated to really think about this clearly.

She had arrived at what she could only assume was Second Beach as there were no tourists there. She took off her hoodie to mark the path so she didn't get hopelessly lost in the woods. Again. The sun glittered of the ocean and Lord knows how long the sun will be out so Bella sat and watched the sea thinking of yet another quote, The Sea, once cast its spell holds one in its net of wonder forever. This quote made her think of two things, first that she really needed to get a life, and second that she could Cousteau's point. The ocean was something that seemed endless; that everyone thought they knew cause they could see the surface yet had no idea what they were truly looking at. Bella loved the ocean here better than in Florida because here it seemed honest, even today on what seems like a calm day the water was that dark grey-blue that never ceased in movement and never gave out its secret. You rarely tempted this water because you know that it has the power to holds its spell on you. The ocean in Florida was like a lie because even though you could see to the bottom it wasn't the vast majority of what the ocean was about, it seemed so harmless. And Bella was done being tricked by seemingly harmless dangerous things.

She could have stayed under the sea's spell for days only she had real problems to deal with that were a little more pressing than the metaphorical resonance of the ocean in her life.

Werewolves, it kind of made sense. How Sam had found her, how the boys all looked alike, why they called themselves a pack, and Emily's face. Oh god Emily's face! Had Sam done that? He didn't seem like the type who was capable of such a thing. And from what she could tell Emily didn't seem like the type to stay with a guy who could do that to their girlfriend. Maybe it had been a bear like everyone thought, but for some reason Bella seriously doubted that.

Crazier things had happened though and crazier things had happened to her, from the debacle with James to the relationship she had with the Cullen's. There was just one thing that didn't make sense. Why her? Lately on a good day she was miserable to be around, why is it all this supernatural shit fell on her?

Was she the type to believe in destiny, a greater power that ruled over what the world did? And if so what was the point to all of this. Bella sat a while longer thinking about what her destiny might be. She had literally no plans and honestly being out of control would be nice, but she wasn't sure that's how it would work.

Maybe to know her destiny she first had to know herself. God that sounds cheesy, and how do you know yourself. She was Bella plain ol' boring Bells, what else was there to know that she didn't already know.

It had started raining again but she didn't really care, even without her hoodie it was nice to feel the cold. It reminded her of them, she had been trying so hard to hate them but it was impossible not to feel comforted by what used to comfort her. Their chill, it was like no other, literally making people's blood run cold and if standing in the rain was the closest way to feel that again she'd do it. She'd do almost anything to really feel again.

"Are you out of your goddamed mind!" A figure yelled as it ran towards her from the forest. As it got closer she saw that he had changed from earlier, no long sporting sunglasses, jeans, and a tee. Now he was in cut offs and an unzipped sweater, holding her hoodie. "You'll catch your death out her you idiotic child."

What right did he have to get mad at her, he was the one that stormed out and insulted her, "Okay two thing, you don't actually get sick from being in the rain when its cold. The worst you could get was maybe hypothermia but in this temperature probably not. And who the fuck are you to tell me what to do." Anger, she could feel it, and it felt fucking good.

"Who the fuck am I? I'm the one Sam sent after your pathetic ass. Okay I'm a dick and people generally don't like me but you have half the creatures in the tri-state area panting after your ass and worrying about you and you don't even give a shit. You are quite possibly the most selfish person in the world Blondie. Now put your mother fucking clothes on and go to Sam's so I can go the fuck to bed." What's worse than being yelled at when you deserve it? Having someone say words they should be yelling in Paul's unattached demeaning voice.

He just stood there, his bright blue eyes empty and cold. Just like she was.

Bella didn't really feel, except for the anger towards Paul. It appeared he also didn't feel, she at least tried to make look like she did. At what point would she inherit his level of 'not giving a shit' or would she be like this forever because that sounds exhausting.

On her way back towards Sam's house she made a decision. Not about her life or anything but about where she stands with the werewolves. She obviously felt that she should hear more, creating an informed decision opposed to the one she did make through the mess of her thoughts when watching the ocean. She decided she wasn't going to be a bitch about this and side with the vampires, because if science fiction got anything right it was probably that rivalry between vampires and werewolves and not any of the defenses you can take against the supernatural which lets face it would have been super helpful. Sam had been a werewolf and still helped her; Embry was the same as she remembered, Jared she could get used to, and finally Paul. Well he was something else entirely, but still one bad seed isn't enough to really sway her. After all she was her and anything dangerous she just felt more drawn to opposed to scared or repulsed.

She was following what she hoped was the right path to Sam's, the rain coming down harder now. "Fuck it" she muttered and took of her flip flops because with the mud and the going up hill she had more of a chance breaking her ankle with them on than with them off. She should have left fucking breadcrumbs or something to mark the path but had she? No. She was about to give up and stay in one spot until someone found her, like kids do at Disneyland when their parents forget them; but then a giant (and I mean GIANT) black wolf stopped in front of her. Choking back a scream she realized that this must be one of the boys because there was no way in hell that wolves grew that big. The wolf ran into the foliage of the forest before coming back as Sam.

"Why didn't Paul walk you back?" Sam demanded, worry evident in his light brown eyes.

"We don't exactly get along." Bella trailed off feeling guilty cause she had driven Paul away and made Sam and god knows who else look for her in the rain.

"Paul doesn't get along with Paul, don't sweat it kid. You're safe now, sopping wet but safe." He slung a literally steaming hot arm across her shoulder. How had she never noticed how hot they were, literally not figuratively? Maybe Paul was right, maybe she was way too self absorbed.

"I'm sorry you had to come find me in the woods again, I didn't mean to get lost. I had the beginning of the path marked with my hoodie but then it was raining and Paul yelled at me and told me to put on clothes. Well he didn't really yell at me, more like he told it to me in a way that left no option but to do what he says. Kind of like what you do only meaner. " She was rambling, she didn't know how to explain herself, didn't know if she had to.

They let the conversation die into semi comfortable silence, both knowing that there would be enough talking once they arrived back at his house. Sam's heat radiated towards her and she considered if his heat was kind of like a glamour effect. She hadn't know how 'different' he had been before so she didn't know all the 'different' things about him; but now she knew and couldn't stop knowing so she noticed things like his silent stride, how he kind of let out a growl when she had told him Paul yelled at her, and how he was warmer than the Sahara desert right now.

Bella knew there were things she needed to work on to be a better human, or even to be human because looking back on Browning's qualifications she may be less human than the supernatural's she orbited around. She was lacking in love and hope and faith, fortunately all this worrying was giving her a decent dosage of fear so that's one down and three to go. They were nearing the house now and Bella murmured "How do I become a human again?" it had been a rhetorical question for herself but Sam decided to pitch in anyways.

"Bella you are human, if I had to say you had a problem needing fixing it's that you need to feel something with something. I think that could help pull you out of this labyrinth of questions and emptiness."

He had said something, not someone. Did he mean thing as in like supernatural or did he want her to become overly attached to a blanket like a two year old? What if the past came back to haunt her, what if her nostalgia that came from remembering was what was hindering her. Maybe the 'thing' she clung onto could be the future, but wouldn't imagining the future also be a kind of nostalgia? Remembering her promise to herself to be more present she decided that is what she would do. Cling to now and let what had past be prologue. Shakespeare would have been so proud.

For the second time that day they entered Sam's house, only instead of an argument about fish and birds there was silence. Pure unadulterated silence. Something was wrong, and Bella was pretty sure it was her fault.

"Bella are you scared of us?" Embry looked timid. In the half a day they had spent together she wondered why he clung to her so. What did he need that her mere presence offered?

"No of course not! I ran with vampires remember?" and before the words had left her lips she could feel the collective growl in the room. Yup she had been right, they hate vampires.

"I have to ask you Bella, exactly how close did you run with them?" It was Emily who asked the question, her face judgment free.

"Um close enough I guess. They were like family to me." She wasn't sure how to answer this in a diplomatic way. Because of them she had been hunted and nearly killed, and abandoned in the woods; but they had taken her in and shown her how happy she could be. Everything comes are a cost she thought wearily looking at her wrist, James and Edward's silvery bite marks visible in the light of the kitchen. She pulled her sleeve down to cover it before the others noticed, Bella was sure they would have a field day knowing that she had been bitten by vampires and just didn't have the energy to deal with that.

"Can I ask why?" Emily was still doing the talking, the boys just watching and listening and looking at each other knowingly. And here Bella had thought that it was her questions that were going to be answered. Apparently not.

"Can I ask why you stayed with Sam after he did that to you?" Bella gestured to Emily's scars. It was a low blow but they had been asking her such personal questions she just had to ask her own, and honestly that was the one that weighed the most on her mind.

Emily instead of looking taken a back or hurt simply looked at Sam the way she always did, lovingly. "You aren't the first person to ask me that Bella, and nor will you be the last. As the pack grows I will hear that more and more. I stay with him because I love him, because I need him as he needs me. We have our problems and this-" she gestured to her face, "is one of them, but that doesn't mean we give up on each other. It was as much, if not more, my fault than his."

Bella could sense that was all she'd hear on the subject today due to the pained guilty expression on Sam's face. "I thought I loved them, thought they loved me." Bella couldn't make eye contact with anyone now, but Emily had been honest with her so she felt obligated to do the same. "They drew me into their world, mind body and soul. They gave me my first boyfriend, my best friend, a big brother, and loving parents all in one fell swoop. I was entranced by their way of life, not the money but the unity. They saw my weaknesses and hounded on them. Once someone had called me their pet and it wasn't until they left that I realized how true they were. But no more, I'm not some dog, no offense, which they can have me come at their beck and call any more. I refuse to be like that."

After her little speech she looked around, they all looked pleased with her response. Happy even and she felt it again, anger. Not towards the pack but towards the Cullen's, hating them had been something that she forced but anger it seemed was coming naturally and she knew it would lead her one step closer to her destiny.

People who read authors note!

My dear friends, I don't do fic shout outs because frankly I'm too lazy but I have been remise in not bowing down to Unseelie Sidhe. She has no idea who I am and probably doesn't even read this but it was her fic (and a few other stories) that planted this thought in my brain and for that she is my queen, or would be if I didn't live in Canada and already technically have one. So kittens if you haven't read her The Devil You Know you are what Ursula would call a poor unfortunate soul and should rectify that immediately. I have been kind enough to put a link to it here s/7154262/1/The-Devil-You-Know

Sorry about all the time spent in Bella's head, if you guys would prefer a lot more dialogue let me know. I just find it interesting being in my version of Bella's head when Edward hadn't been able to. I also think it shows how, for a lack of a better word, unstable she is right now and that is pretty important. Also can you guys tell that I'm a little obsessed with quotes?

OK so I won't see you and you won't see me but we can read each others words that that just as fun…kinda!

-Ty