They don't tell you these things when you become a ninja. As a child your family members expect you to carry on their legacy, or you see the ninja defending your village, and they seem super human. They don't tell you your heart needs to be super human, too.
Oh well. It's been a few days, and I think I've calmed down a bit. I still think of everything that went on in the royal city, but I'm starting to look forwards to what's waiting at home: my family and my own bed(which I missed, oddly enough), my friends(Naruto…), the familiar streets…
The watched feeling has been following me, as always. It waxes and wanes at odd moments, and I wish I could understand it better so that maybe, at some point, I could get rid of it once and for all. There have been times when I felt I could read its patterns when I'm with other people, but when I'm on my own, it seems to be so much more random.
There isn't a whole lot of space left for me to write in this journal. I think that once I get back to Konoha in a few days I'll buy a new one, and start fresh there. What will I do with this one? I'd like to burn it, as there are very private and sensitive things in here. I wish there was a way for it to disappear, but I know that some of these things need to stay written down somewhere. Perhaps I could sneak them into the Hokage Library. Ah, and I'll have to talk with Hanabi about everything that happened, too. Right now, I'm not too excited about that. I think I might have to steal Haruko again.