RICKY'S POV:
Aaron was now almost 2 months old, yet I was still struggling to bond with him, physically and emotionally. Today had been a particularly stressful day, and as the time came to put him to bed, he wouldn't stop crying. I'd tried everything I could think of; I'd changed him, I'd fed him, I'd stripped him to see if he was too warm, and added more layers in case he was too cold, but nothing, absolutely nothing had worked…
"What's all the noise about?" Heath questioned as he walked in the front door
"Him" I informed him, motioning to Aaron who was wailing in his Moses basket "he won't stop crying"
"He can probably sense you're agitated and upset" he replied, picking him up, cuddling him into his chest "just sit down and relax, I'll take care of him"
"I can't, I'm sorry" I admitted. Grabbing my phone and my keys, I hurried out of the house, ignoring Heath's calls of my name
BRAX'S POV:
I pulled into the driveway and switched off my engine. Climbing out of the car, I locked it and made my way inside, finding Heath rocking Aaron backwards and forwards whilst watching TV…
"Having some nephew, Uncle bonding time, are you?" I questioned
"Sorta" he replied
"What do you mean sorta?" I inquired
"Ricky's gone" he admitted
"What do you mean Ricky's gone? Gone where?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him
He shrugged his shoulders in reply… "Aaron was crying and she just left, saying I could deal with him for the afternoon. That was about 5 hours ago. I've not seen or heard from her since"
"You don't mind looking after him for a bit longer while I go find her, do you?" I inquired
He shook his head, signalling no... "Just go easy on her, Brax. I think something's going on"
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I smiled at him… "Thanks"
"Anytime" he replied
RICKY'S POV:
I didn't know how long I'd been at the beach or how long I'd been staring out at the water but I was guessing it had been a while seeing as though the sun had started to set. Checking the time on my phone, I saw it was 6pm. Sighing, I knew I needed to make my way home but couldn't bring myself to, beginning to sob again…
"Ric…" Brax's voice spoke
"I'm sorry" I whimpered
I felt him move to sit next to me and his arm wrap around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest and I began to sob even more…
"Talk to me, please" he begged
"I know I said I could do it but I can't" I admitted "I just can't"
"What can't you do?" he questioned
"Be a Mum to our son" I informed him "one minute things are great, the next minute they're too damned hard and I want to run away"
His hand rubbed up and down my arm soothingly and I felt the tears begin to subside… "Why didn't you say any of this sooner?"
"How could I?" I inquired "you've been in your element since Aaron was born and you're a flaming natural. Me, I'm useless"
"You're not" he replied "you've been a fantastic Mum to Casey, and you're a fantastic Mum to Aaron"
"So why isn't it coming as naturally with Aaron as it did with Casey?" I questioned "I'm struggling to bond with my own son, Brax, and it's breaking my heart"
BRAX'S POV:
"I'm struggling to bond with my own son, Brax, and it's breaking my heart"
"We'll find a way to get through this, I promise" I assured her "I love you and our family; we're going to survive this, just like we have everything else that's been thrown our way"
"You think?" she asked
"I know" I informed her "now why don't we get you home, eh?"
Ricky nodded her head, signalling yes and I stood up, holding my hand out to her, sighing with relief as she took it willingly. Leading her to the car, I opened the passenger side door for her and let her climb in, taking a minute as I walked around the back of my car to the driver's side, climbing in, starting the engine and driving back to the house…
RICKY'S POV:
Brax and I made our way into the house and were greeted by Heath and Bianca, Heath making his way over to me as Brax shut the door behind us…
"You okay?" he questioned
"Not really, but I will be" I replied
He smiled at me weakly and placed his hand on my shoulder… "Whatever you need, we're here for you, you know that"
"Thanks" I stated "and I'm sorry for running out and dumping Aaron on you. It just got too much"
"You don't have to explain" he informed me, reaching out and squeezing my hand
As I was about to reply, I felt Brax's hands on my shoulders… "Why don't we get you to bed?"
I nodded my head in agreement and let him lead me into our bedroom. As I changed into one of his shirts, he sorted the bed for me, pulling the bedsheets back so I could climb in and snuggle down, sighing contentedly as he pulled them up and around me…
"I meant what I said, Ric" he informed me as he sat down on the bed beside me "I'm gonna get us through this and we're going to come out the other side, I promise"
"I'm sorry, Brax" I admitted
"Don't apologise" he replied, kissing my forehead softly "just sleep, and I'll be here when you wake up"
BRAX'S POV:
Once I was sure Ricky was asleep, I carried a sleeping Aaron in his Moses basket through to the living room and set it down on the sofa, moving into the kitchen, sitting down at the table with Heath and Bianca…
"Looks like you could do with this" Heath admitted as he pushed a beer in my direction
"Thanks" I sighed, taking a long sip from it
"Is Ricky okay?" Bianca questioned
"Not really" I admitted, running my hands over my face "I knew she was struggling but until tonight I didn't realise just how much"
"What can we do to help?" she inquired
"Could you have Aaron in with you tonight?" I questioned "it doesn't matter if not, but I just think it'll be easier on Ricky…"
"We'll have him" Bianca informed me "and whenever else you need us to too, right, Heath?"
He nodded his head in agreement and smiled at me warmly… "Whatever you need, bro, we're here"
"Thanks" I replied
"What's wrong, Brax?" Bianca asked
"I'm scared, scared I'm gonna lose the woman I love. Without her, I'm nothing" I admitted
RICKY'S POV:
"I'm scared, scared I'm gonna lose the woman I love. Without her, I'm nothing"
I covered my mouth with my hand as I struggled to fight the tears that threatened to fall as I listened to Brax, Heath and Bianca talking. Only a few times had I ever heard Brax admit he was scared to someone, and to think I was the cause of his worry made me feel physically sick. I was going to get better, I was going to be a good Mum, and I was going to make my family happy, whatever it took…
Honest thoughts please, guys…