RICKY'S POV:
Brax and I sat in the doctors waiting room that morning, waiting for my name to pop up on-screen. Exhaling a breath I didn't know I'd been holding as it did, I stood up, turning to Brax as he stood up too…
"Ready?" he questioned
"Yeah, but can I go in on my own?" I inquired "I'm not pushing you away, I promise, it's just I need to get myself better. No one else can do that for me"
He nodded his head in understanding and smiled at me warmly, kissing me softly before sitting back down. Mouthing "thank you" at him, I made my way through to the doctors office…
"Miss. Sharpe, what can I do for you?" the doctor asked as I walked in and took a seat
I swallowed a lump in my throat… "I'm struggling to bond with my almost 2 month old baby boy"
"Right" she replied "in what way?"
"Emotionally, physically, in every way really" I admitted
"Okay" she stated, typing some notes onto her computer "can you just give me a second please?"
I nodded my head, signalling yes, watching as she left her office, returning a couple of minutes later with another woman…
"Miss. Sharpe, this is my colleague Doctor Michaels" she informed me "she's our on-site mental health advisor and counsellor. I'm going to leave you alone to talk, is that okay?"
"Okay" I replied
My doctor left the room and Doctor Michaels took a seat opposite me, pulling out a notepad… "Hi, Miss. Sharpe"
"Hi" I mirrored
"As you know I'm Doctor Michaels" she informed me "I'm going to ask you a few questions, is that okay?"
"Yes" I replied
"Great" she stated "first of all, how does it feel that you can't bond with your son?"
"It kills me" I admitted "I've wanted to be a Mum to my own child for so long. My partner and I have been parents to his younger brother for almost 4 years, so I thought being a Mum to my own child would be easy. Boy, was I wrong…"
"Okay" she replied "how do you feel when he cries?"
"Scared" I informed her "because I don't know whether he just wants a cuddle or whether he needs changing or needs a bottle. It scares me that I'll never know what he needs"
She smiled at me sympathetically and jotted some more notes down… "And how does it make you feel when you see other people with him, looking after him like you know you should be?"
"I'm happy that he's been looked after by people I trust, but it upsets me that I'm not one of them" I replied
BRAX'S POV:
Ricky walked out of the doctor's office twenty minutes later, a prescription in hand…
"How did it go?" I asked, standing up as she walked over to me
"I've been prescribed some medication to take" she informed me "and a counselling session has been arranged for next week to see how things are going"
I smiled at her warmly and held my hand out to her, her taking it willingly…
RICKY'S POV:
Brax glanced at me as we walked up the driveway, both of us being able to hear Aaron crying inside the house. Opening the door we walked inside, Bianca comforting him…
"Sorry" she sighed
"It's fine" Brax replied "I might take him for a walk, see if I can settle him"
"Can you give me a minute to change?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at him
"You want to come?" he inquired
I nodded my head, signalling yes… "If that's okay"
"Of course it is" he informed me
So Ricky's getting help – will the medication and the counselling session help?