Chapter 55: I miss Daddy!

Xena POV

"That's a joke right?" I asked Hercules as soon as I realized what he had said.

An anxious feeling washed over me that moment, at the awareness that maybe for once, Ares would indeed choose to listen to me and I would never see him again in my life...An improbable fact knowing him as I did, but still…

"Not if you want it too…"

Hearing Hercules's answer, I turned around to look at him. I opened my mouth to say something but right after, I closed it back...Yes, we kissed but for me that was just a kiss.

"Hercules…" I started not at all certain about what I was going to tell him.

"Xena listen to me…You don't need Ares…"

"I know." I answered bitterly. I knew that very well, but it was not about that, it was nice to know- even if only for a short while- that I had someone who I could count on apart from Gabrielle of course, but I was a fool to even let me think that way.

"I can be everything you need me to be…I love Eve and Adam as if they were my own flesh and blood, I promise you…Just give me…give us a chance, that chance that we didn't have so many years ago."

I think I almost had tears in my eyes, hearing his line…That was a remarkable thing to say, and I could see in his eyes it was true but I just couldn't…I was too broken and too in love with that infuriating Bastard, that had somehow managed to hurt me again.

"Hercules…"

My hand reached up to his face. "I know, you are a good guy and I love you…"

The sight of his face, full of hope as it was, squeezed my heart. He brought me in his embrace.

"I do love you…but I'm not in love with you, Hercules." He instantly let go of me.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I wish things were different but I'm afraid I can't see you in any other way than my best friend…and I will be forever in your debt for everything that you've done for me all these years from the very beginning, but I can't."

He nodded and it pained me to tell him those words but it was the truth. It was better than a white lie, I guess…

"We'd better go back to the camp." I said and he nodded again, following me from behind.

Gabrielle was up by the time we arrived and looked as if she had been waiting for us. Eve and Adam were still asleep just like Joxer who was snoring.

"Xena…can we talk?"

"Sure…"

"Hercules can you make breakfast for us?"

"Sure thing Gabrielle...Don't worry! If they wake up, they will be alright..."

We smiled at him and then she grabbed my arm and led me into the bushes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I frowned at her, not knowing what was she talking about.

"Xena...don't give me that look!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She threw me a suspicious gaze.

"I heard you, ok?"

"Heard me?"

"Yeah...you...you and Hercules..." She said, looking in the direction of the camp. And that's when it hit me. I smiled.

"That's not a big deal than…"

"Not a big deal? You are getting married and that's not big…?"

That moment, I finally realized what she had heard, or, better said, what part of our conversation she had heard. I grinned.

"What?" she inquired, looking impatiently at me.

"It's a lie..." I said, and then she visibly calmed down a bit.

"You and Hercules..."

"We're not getting married...We needed a way to make Ares stop and I thought that was the perfect way to do it..."

She left out a breath of relief.

"But you do know that Hercules...He thinks..."

"No...I talked to him a few minutes earlier...Hercules is just a friend Gabrielle, a very good one, but that's all there is to it!"

"Are you sure there's nothing more to the story?"

"Of course. Come on let's eat something...I'm really hungry..." I put my hands on her shoulders and we headed towards the camp.

"Wait..." she said, in a troubled voice "Eve asked about him…and I didn't know what to say..."

I was speechless for a few good minutes.

"It was such a stupid idea to..."

"Xena don't blame yourself...I also thought he had changed...But Eve thinks that he is her father and you can't just take that away from her and say otherwise, you'd hurt her."

"I know..."

"Guys..." Joxer suddenly called… "Breakfast's ready!"

We made our way to the camp right after that.

"Mommy..." Eve came to me and I took her in my arms and kissed her and then let her go so I could look at my son that was still in the basket, deep asleep. I caressed his face and that made me think of Ares again. How was I supposed to forget him when I had a daily reminder of him...our son?

Everyone took a place by the still burning fire and we started eating some fish and cheese and some bread.

"Xena...Gabrielle...I thought about something..." Hercules said in between bites "We don't know what Athena is planning so I think we all would be safer in my town...And you will get to know my mom too, Xena..."

"I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"Why not? It's safer…I could be there for you and Iolaus too...Think about Eve and Adam..."

"I want to meet your mother..." Eve said sweetly and Hercules looked at me with a 'see?' on his face.

I glanced at Gabrielle and I could see that she considered it to be a good idea.

"Ok...I guess we could..." I indulged, and that's when I heard the small cries of my baby and I turned to him and took him in my arms letting my food aside…I was almost full anyway.

"Ohh sweetie...It's alright...Mommy's here..."

I got up and went into a clearing to feed him.

"Mommy...I want to come too..."

"Come than..." I replied. She came running after me.

"Not so fast sweetheart..."

I took a sit on a log and exposed my breast for Adam. He took it in his mouth and began sulking at it…He was so beautiful…

"Mommy..." Eve took a seat next to me. "Did you use to feed me like that too?"

"All babies are fed like that." I answered with a smile.

"He is funny..." she added after awhile... "I like the sounds he makes…!" I smiled at her.

Her hair was glowing in the sun and it gave her tresses a more lighter color than they really were.

"Mommy, I miss daddy…I want to see him. When is he coming?"

My smile vanished instantly and I looked at her just to find her looking back at me with those baby blues...Tears were running down her cheeks. I extended my hand to wash them away…

"Don't worry sweetheart..."

She raised her eyes to me, hoping to find solace in my words and I just couldn't get myself to tell her that maybe he would never come back again.

"Daddy is a little busy but he will come ok?"

She nodded and mopped the tears away with her little hands and smiled at me. Maybe deep down I did want him to come, but I knew for sure that what I didn't want was for Eve to suffer, not after him, not ever.

"I knew it…Adam misses him too…..I love you mommy!"

Her face changed in a smile that very second.

"Love you too baby!" I whispered, but my heart broke.