It's kind of ironic that the harder you try to throw yourself into sleep the harder it rejects you. I wanted to tell Naruto about what happened but I couldn't; though, he did give me a quick hug when he saw last night. More than ever I wanted to curl up beside him and fall asleep in his arms, but I was too scared. Too scared of what he might say, and too scared of feeling watched when what I needed and wanted was so simple.
After looking through my journal last night I remembered the experiment with Ibiki, and I think that it was successful. I think I'm going to take it in a new direction today. I get out a kunai to the bathroom, and look in the mirror. I start on the left side, making small cuts so I can get it as even as possible. I pull the rest of my hair back so I can focus on what I'm doing. While the cut is mostly even I've never done this kind of thing before, and it doesn't look professional. The right side takes a little longer to do, as I'm right-handed, but the top goes quickly. I take a step back, and look at my new hair-cut: shorter on the sides and top, a couple inches long, and in the back was uncut, still long. I start crying, but at the same time, smile. I feel nothing, and it's the most awful and wonderful thing in the world...