I return home, and by the gates Aoba is in a penguin suit playing a fanfare on the trumpet. "We've missed you," My mother says.

"It's been too long," Ibiki adds. His gaze isn't intimidating at all, and as he leans down to say something I fling my arms around his neck and hold him tight. He returns the hug, and carries me up to my room as my family cheers us on. "I have something special waiting for you," He whispers into my ear.

"I have something special for you too," I reply. I'm very aware of where Ibiki's arms are as he holds me, and there's a twinkle in his eyes I've never seen before. Suddenly we're in my room, and Ibiki gently lays me down on my bed. He leans up but I want him to stay, and pull him down, and kiss him. It's firm and warm and infuriatingly short, and Ibiki winks as he steps away.

"Back in a second…" I wait for him, wanting to held and kissed and whispered to again, but minutes go by and he doesn't come back. Just as I give up someone comes in.

"Nice to see you again, you traitorous bitch," Sasuke says cheerfully.

"I'm not a traitor! I love Konoha and my family."

"That's funny, so did my older brother. Say, you want to go get some coffee?"

"I only drink decaf."

"That's cool." Sasuke motions with his head for me to follow, and we walk out from my room. "The weather's been pretty great lately, perfect stuff for murdering an entire clan."

"Cold enough so that the screams don't carry too far?"

"And so that their last breaths frost the air, so you can make tiny little snow angels."

"Wouldn't painting little cherry petals be better?"

"Yeah, but genocide isn't quite that poetic; and all the snow angels are wearing strap-ons." I'm excited for a nice warm cup of coffee, but as we come down to the main courtyard, I see my clan and family members contorted and motionless on the snow, bathed in crimson red fractals of horror.

"Sasuke…?!"

"Yeah, guess I kinda forgot to mention they're all dead. Sorry." I see that Ibiki is still breathing, and I rush over to him, slipping a couple times. All the scars on his face look fresh, and his eyes are staring far off into the distance.

"Ibiki, no! Please, say something…"

He looks into my eyes tenderly, and his lips move for a second before I can make anything out. "I've seen the alignment of the cosmic anuses…"

"They'd never align themselves like this!"

"Never fear, Hinata. The celestial symmetry of flatulence sings in your eyes, its majesty thunders from your heart, louder than any doubts you may have."

"Not louder than these doubts…!"

"Ask me about my weiner…"

"Ibiki?!"

"Bleh." Ibiki's head falls to the side, and I stand to face Sasuke. He puts out his lasagna cigar on his eye, and tucks it behind his ear.

"I guess this is where we have a battle; but really I only feel like doing that ironically. Battles for vengeance against the Uchiha have gotten kinda cliche here in Konoha." I take up a ready stance, and a split-second later Sasuke runs me through with a Chidori. It tingles and stings, and I know I only have a moment before the shock wears off. I work up my chakra as best I can, and hold onto Sasuke's arm as it's still in me. I touch my fingers to his mind point and pour in all my water-natured chakra that I can, and the attack bursts him open. He falls away, his body language somehow conveying the lethal attack was just a slight annoyance.

My heart starts to ache now, and I try to find my way to the hospital. It's just around the corner, and Naruto is there waiting for me. "Hinata, come on!" He hurries over and I lean on his shoulder, and we walk in together. "You almost missed it: Granny Tsunade's gonna perform septuple bypass brain surgery while only holding a scalpel between her upper lip and nose!"

"Wow, last time she used her hands." I don't want to be late and we run down a hall, and get to a room at the end. Lady Tsunade is in there, but the bed is empty.

"I got her for you, Granny Tsunade!"

"What? What's going on?"

"Here's some chocolate," Shizune says as she straps me down onto the bed.

"I realized the flaw," Lady Tsunade says, pausing dramatically. "The tumor has created a disturbance in your cerebral cortex, and due to your clan's bloodline limit has been causing sensory hallucinations!"

"That's brilliant, Lady Tsunade!' Shizune applauds, eating my chocolate bar. "But where will you be taking the blood vessels from?"

"Her genitals. It's not like she'll have a chance to use them anyways!" Lady Tsunade says, laughing. "Anaesthetic Jutsu!" The gas hovers over my face, and I go still, but can still feel everything. A rock song about TNT and dynamite is playing on the radio, and Lady Tsunade quickly makes the necessary cuts, and finishes in a burst of confetti as the guitar solo ends. My head stops feeling so strange, and everything is clearer, especially the pain in my chest.

"Lady Tsunade, m- my heart…"

"What do you need that silly thing for?"

"To feel with, and love things with…"

"Such foolishness, Hinata. For all who seek to love, a thorn is all the world can give. I expected better from you."

"But, I need it…!"

"No you don't. Your heart was never meant to belong in this world!" While Lady Tsunade laughs maniacally and folds her arms across her chest, Shizune sneakily puts a couple pieces of my chocolate bar into where my heart should be.

"Will that work?" Shizune asks, shyly.

"No, I don't think chocolate will be strong enough." Shizune shrugs, then picks the chocolate out and eats it. She and Lady Tsunade let loose my straps, and then Lady Tsunade presses the seal on her forehead. The ceiling of the hospital room opens up, and my bed flies off into the sky. The sun blinks, and then an iris opens up from inside it, looking around before focusing on me, bright and fiery; instead of lashes it has fangs and claws, and its pupil writhes around like a tongue…

I jump, and find myself tangled in my sheets. The morning light is coming through the window, and I find that my chest faintly aches. I don't quite know what to make of that dream, not the surgery, or what happened to my family, and especially not how I acted with Ibiki. I do like him, but just as a friend. Maybe; I'm not sure what to think about anything after that dream…

I look over to Naruto's bed, and he's already left for the day. I sigh. I probably need to get going, too. I'm really going to have to throw myself into my training to forget the dream...