I didn't actually read the scroll the day of my visit to the Great Toad Sage. That afternoon was spent curled up in bed, alternately crying and trying not to cry, and thinking about the dream I had the other day. It was only after I got done with training yesterday that I felt I was ready to look. The seems the Great Toad Sage had a couple of the doubts I have, about whether his newfound vision would lead to anything and if it was a talent worth having at all.

But what worried me is how he learned to control and make use of "the eye of the world": by opening himself up to the watched feeling. The time that I did that I didn't see any scenes or images, only my vision blurred like reality was trying to swim away from itself. Maybe that's just a temporary phase, or happened because I'm not a fully trained sage, but if I really do have the aptitude for prophecy as the Great Toad Sage says I do, it's something I'd have to confront. Perhaps in a place like Mount Myoboku, with its unspoiled natural beauty, it will be easier to feel more than just watched.

So, I've decided to take the first step today during my time with Fukasaku at the oil-fall. "Are you feeling better today?"

"A little bit, sir."

"Very well. Let us begin," Fukasaku says with a nod. I sit down beside him, but it's a struggle in the first few moments to get calm. I have to remember that what I'm doing here and now is important so I can settle myself. Once I do and become still enough to sense the natural energy around me, Fukasaku speaks within my mind: "Draw the natural energy within yourself…" I do, taking in a good breath. "When transferring your own chakra, it must be adapted to the recipient- now, lend me the natural energy you breathed in." I'm not sure if the natural energy is the same way at first, but as I transfer it, it springs to life within him, and he swiftly balances it with his own chakra. I think of sage mode, and an idea flashes through my mind- why haven't I done this before?

"Mister Fukasaku?"

"Yes?"

"A- I- I was wondering if you would not mind entering sage mode, and watch me for a moment as I meditate."

"I already have done so since the beginning of your training, Hinata. What is it that you want to do?"

"I'm going to try being more open…"

"Very well, but there is more to learn today." I ready myself, then let the watched feeling in, holding myself open. It awakens within me, and before my eyes open I see eyes blink and stare in the darkness, and the natural energy around me vibrates and seems to twist itself into hands and jaws full of teeth. When my eyes fly open the world is radiating waves of itself, only for those pulses to evaporate. After a second those pulses pool together into fleeting moments of ethereal touch, and the eyes open again. I don't feel connected here, only powerless and violated. I try to force the watched feeling out so this will end but I can't, and I'm not able to cry or shut my eyes or do anything on my own power. I try to find my center and get focused but then the whispers start. I'm not sure if these are the voices that will tell me things so I try to open myself to them, and when I do my back arches and I scream involuntarily, a shuddering wet heat spreading from a very private place.

The moment seems to stretch on and on for hours. Eventually I realize I can breathe, and it's no longer the watched feeling arching my back, and I fall onto my side. "Mister… Fukasaku… did… anything besides my scream happen…"

"No that I was able to tell, no."

"Did- did I keep my connection to the natural energy?"

"It was lost shortly before you cried out, Hinata." At that moment my tears leap out of hiding, and I start sobbing heavily. I think I've had enough. I need to go back...