I was brushing my teeth this morning when it happened. I've studied and attacked the watched feeling for so long, but I never realized. Until just now. I'd always thought these type of Zen epiphanies were reserved for monks, or drug addicts on a high, or old and wiser people, not for scared young women like me, but in the position I am I'll take whatever I can get.
I make sure I have all my gear packed and ready, even the things I hardly ever use, like the whoopee cushion and the diamond-studded length of the sex toy Ino got me as a gag gift for my last birthday(which I'll admit I kept because as a younger girl in my fantasies of Naruto his groin region would sparkle without me being able to see anything whenever his underwear came off -try not to gag when you see my glittery old coloring books now, Hanabi-). Chiharu and Lady Sorano are waiting for me, and we leave the estate together.
"I actually kind of like it," Lady Sorano says. "I mean, being bald doesn't work for too many people, but mullets look good on absolutely no one. It takes guts to do that."
"Well, I'm still wearing my forehead protector over it," I say. "As I found out yesterday I now have to worry about getting sunburn on my scalp."
"Which is why a lady should always keep her hair long and soft," Lady Sorano says, lifting up her chin.
"Well, ninja trainees should always learn to obey their masters, and jog to the training ground like their sensei told them to yesterday." Lady Sorano growls and starts jogging. I smile and jog along with her, mildly surprised Chiharu can keep up without any trouble. In fact, when we get to the training ground, she's not even breathing hard, and Lady Sorano is panting.
"Late, Your Highness…" Iruka is shaking his head, and checks his watch. "You can worry about getting your hair combed and taking a shower after we're done. Burpees to failure, let's go!" Lady Sorano exhales forcefully and then starts, keeping a moderate pace. "Hinata, Miss Chiharu, good to see you two today."
"And you too, sir." This might be just me, but I think Chiharu may have a crush on Iruka. It seems like they are about the same age, I guess…
Iruka nods graciously and turns back to Lady Sorano, who is still going. "Knees up, explode! Don't just stand, Your Highness!" Lady Sorano puts a bit more effort into her burpees, but I can tell she's getting tired. I count ten more before I see her start to slow down some, and I guess Iruka saw it, too. "If you can force one more out, then do it! Keep going!" Lady Sorano goes back to the pace she started with for a second, and I start to feel bad about doubting her determination to become a ninja. She's the type of girl who hates to lose or be told she can't, and apparently it's paying off in her workouts.
"That's… I'm…"
"Five more than yesterday, not too bad at all. Arms over your head, breathe deep." Lady Sorano does so, sucking in air. I think that after today I'll start to push myself in my training again, and keep up the work Fukasaku started at Mount Myoboku. My chakra reserves have increased a good amount, and I want to increase my physical stamina, too. Iruka eyes Lady Sorano getting her wind back, then turns to me. "Let's spar for a little bit, give her some time to breathe."
"Yes, okay…" I nod, and we take a few steps away. Iruka begins to use the most basic forms, the things they teach in the Ninja Academy. I'm so used to my clan's Gentle Fist style it feels a little awkward going back to this, but at the same time, it's a bit of fun. But after a moment of the simple blocks and striking patterns, I begin to get nervous. Will I really do it? I get set deep in my center, and then as Iruka blocks a straight, I yank it back and whip it forwards again, touching my finger to his mind point and channelling my water natured chakra in. It has the same effect as it did in that awful dream when I used it on Sasuke, and I close my eyes before it all hits me. When I open them, Chiharu and lady Sorano are staring at me slack jawed with their eyes wide.
"Hinata…?! B- but…"
"There are some things I need to tell you, Sorano. I'm not just Hinata…" I use the Transformation Jutsu, and take the appearance of Ruza.
"No! NO…!" Chiharu steps between us, and stares right into my eyes.
"What about the second?"
"Second what, Chiharu? IT DOESN'T MATTER! Everything she has ever said to us is a lie!" I shift the Transformation Jutsu to take the appearance of Raiko, and stare right back at Chiharu.
"That's what the world is, Sorano: perfecting the art of hating yourself and learning to live half a lie. And I'm not the only one who's been lying to you."
"What do you mean?!" Chiharu closes her eyes and sighs, and then turns around. A puff of smoke, and she's dropped her transformation jutsu: beneath the disguise, it turns out that she was the woman with the long and straight black hair and narrow face. I'll admit I'm a little surprised at that; I wonder when she took out the real Chiharu and learned who I was…
"Even though you were just a mark at first, I regret doing this," The woman who had been Chiharu says. "I know I've lied to you for the past few weeks, but I want you to know that you're still worth lov-" At that point I snatch a kunai from my holster and run it across Chiharu from behind, the spy toppling over in a spray of red. Sorano has sunk down to the ground and is sobbing into her hands, and I release the Transformation Jutsu- I want her to see my face, my natural face.
"Are you going to kill me, too?!"
"I lied to myself too, Sorano. I was just brushing my teeth today when I realized who I really was… and for what it's worth, I want to die too." I don't have the guts for anything more than a strike to her heart point, which I do before I can get too emotional. I perform the Optic Delusory Genjutsu on the scene, giving it the appearance of the training field being untouched by grief and blood, and wash my face off and change my clothes into the backup outfit I brought with me- a black bodysuit with a zipper down the front. For a second I wish I hadn't worn my mesh shirt today, but I can't get everything perfect. Even though I'm wearing the mesh shirt I still leave the bodysuit zipped to just over my bust, and set off for the next target.
My adrenaline is jolting through my veins, but I force myself to walk calmly. This next thing, I'm not so sure of- I can snap my fingers and take out an unsuspecting person in the blink of an eye, but what I'm going to try to do? I've never done it before. It takes a while to get back in Konoha, and I'm still jittery when I approach their house. What if he's not there? But, as luck or fate would have it, he's there when I knock on his door. "Hmm, your forehead protector looks a little different. You do something with it?"
"No, it's not my forehead protector," I say, trying to smile. Ibiki chuckles, and lets me into his house. I realize now that while my head wanted to and made the decision this morning, I've wanted to do this for a while now…
"So how've you been? I heard you were out on a training trip."
"I was, but I came back a couple days ago."
"What happened?"
"...I realized something, and I needed to be back here to deal with it." Ibiki pulls out a chair for me at the kitchen table, and leans against the wall near the terrarium.
"What is, Hinata? You don't seem the type to do something drastic like shave your head."
"Well, actually, you could do something to help me…" My face begins to heat up, but I hope Ibiki doesn't point it out. I stand and move forwards to him, but he lays a hand on my shoulder and stops me.
"Hinata, I don't think now would be a good time for you to-"
"Don't treat me like a child!"
"This isn't about your age- you've fought and killed and seen your friends die in your arms, just like I have, you have dreams and goals and work towards them, and even if we were going by age by most accounts you are fairly mature for yours. I just don't want this to be a mistake, because then we'll both regret it, and I don't want that."
"I've made plenty of mistakes, and this isn't one of them." I jump- actually jump- onto Ibiki, and begin kissing him as if my life depended on it, and it does. I remember the dream and how real it felt, and now that it's actually happening it almost feels like a dream. Ibiki holds me up with one arm, and we go up the stairs…
Ibiki wanted to be very tender with me, but I didn't allow that at first, and was very rough in going after him. After he gave in and matched me it was raw and intense and spiritual, and now that I think about it, I was being quite loud at that point. After I tired, then he was tender with me, and my heart melted as he held me and kissed me slow…
It's in the afternoon now, and I have just a couple things left to do. I'm still floating and blushing from my time with Ibiki, and my heart is pounding thinking about the next stop. He's the one I'm the most nervous about out of all of them, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to say and do what I need to. I go up the familiar way to his apartment as I have so many times before, blushing and thinking of what he'll say as I have over and over for years, but when I knock on his door and he answers it it's like I'm really seeing him for the first time. I've known Naruto since we were children, but somewhere I missed the part where he grew up and became a man; he was always just Naruto to me. I feel tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away and do my best to smile. "Hey, Hinata! What's up?"
And there he is, still himself after everything that's happened. "Naruto, w- would you go for a walk with me?"
"Where to?"
"The Hokage Monument…"
"Yeah, sure! Hold on a second." Naruto ducks back in to turn off his TV, and then comes out and closes the door. He gives me a pat on the shoulder as we go down the stairs, and I have to blink back my tears again. For the first few blocks on the way neither of us say anything, and my hand feels awkward being empty and so close to his. I reach for it, and he takes my hand in his, like there's nothing all that unusual about it. "Hinata… why did you want to come back from Mount Myoboku so early?"
"Fukasaku told me I needed to find my center when we were training, and… my center is here, in Konoha…"
"Back with your family, huh?"
"Yes, but not just my family…" Naruto looks at me and down at our hands for a second, then clears his throat and turns towards the Hokage Monument.
"...Have you ever thought about being Hokage, Hinata?"
"No, I've been too worried about being the next head of my clan to do that."
"Ya gotta dream big, Hinata!"
"Would one dream be okay as long as it's the biggest?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm kinda like that about being Hokage, huh?"
"Yes. And it's not just your dream, too- lots of us here in Konoha would like you to be Hokage."
"Really?"
"Really." Naruto's hand starts to calm me down, and I hold it tight as we get close to the monument. "Naruto, could we sit on your dad's head?"
"Nah, his hair's too spiky. Granny Tsunade and her gramps have the best heads for sitting on. Come on!" We jog off, still holding hands even as we run up the mountainside. We come to the top of Lady Tsunade's head, and look out over the village. We stay silent for a long time, just the two of us up there, looking down on Konoha. "I really love this place, ya know?"
"Everyone who knows you knows that…" Naruto chuckles, and turns to look into my eyes. "Naruto…?"
"What is it?"
I have to take a couple breaths first. "I love you."
Naruto smiles, not his goofy grin, but something even more beautiful; I feel like this is the first time Naruto has ever really looked at me. "I was just about to say the same thing, ya know." I'm not sure which of us moved first, but the next thing I know we're kissing, and I wish I could stay in this moment forever. I turn slightly, so that my back is to the monument, and then sneak my hand between us to land a Gentle Fist strike to his heart point. I shove Naruto off of the monument, and take a moment to breathe. This, this is freedom. I close my eyes, and then jump off head first after Naruto...