Music In Our Hearts

Chapter 3: What About Now

"Buffy..." Willow said softly. "You need to go after her. I don't know what you guys keep fighting about, but it's not good for two people in a relationship to be fighting all the time."

Buffy sat up, the tears still falling.

"Wait... You... You... You know?" Buffy asked between sobs. Willow just nodded

"I knew all along. You and Faith aren't as good at keeping secrets as you think. I just thought you'd have said it out loud by now. Everyone already knows."

Buffy managed to stop crying long enough to think rationally. I have to stop her. Buffy thought, and she got up, using Willow as support, and started running after Faith.

Willow couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Faith!" Buffy shouted when she saw her. Buffy was now chasing Faith through a cemetary. It was the place Faith always went when she needed to think. Faith stopped and turned around when she heard Buffy.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I just can't keep doing this."

"Faith, please don't leave me, I'm begging you! I need you!"

"B... Believe me, it's hurting me more to leave than it is for you to watch me leave. I don't want to, but it's for the best. We can't... I can't keep doing this. I love you, but... You're just not willing to tell everyone. I get it. You're scared. I was too. But I was willing to face my fear. You weren't. I guess that's why we just... we can't work. It's killing me to say it, but it's true, and you know it just as well as I do."

Buffy was silent. Faith was breaking up with her.

"You gonna say anything, B?"

"Please... just... just stay. Everyone knows!"

"What?"

"Everyone knows about us!" Buffy smiled. She'd found a way to get Faith back, she was sure she had.

"You told them?" Faith asked hopefully.

"Well... Not exactly. Turns out, I was worried for nothing! They knew all along!"

Faith sighed.

"If they didn't know... If they didn't know. Would you tell them today? And not just because you're afraid of losing me? Would you tell them today? Right now? Would we go back there to Giles' house and tell them about us? That you're gay, and we're together? Would you tell them?"

Buffy hesitated. "No." She said, and the tears were back. "No, not today."

"Tomorrow, then?"

"I don't think so. Probably not. Not unless I had an epiphamy while I was asleep."

"I didn't think so. You're still not willing to face your fears. That's what I'm talking about. If we got engaged today, I couldn't wait five years before one of them would catch on and we wouldn't have to tell them we're engaged. If we, I don't know, did Artificial Insemination or something and one of us got pregnant, I can't wait until the baby pops out to go "By the way, we're having a baby". I just can't do it."

Faith turned and started walking away again, and Buffy just stood there, letting her leave.

"Shadows fill an empty heart." Buffy whispered, looking at the ground as two teardrops hit the dirt. "As love is fading."

"From the things that we are and are not saying." She said, slightly louder, so she could actually hear herself say it. "Can we see beyond the scars, and make it to the dawn?"

Buffy looked up so she could see the sun setting behind the trees. "Change the colors of the sky, and open up to the ways you made me feel alive, the ways I loved you. For all the things that never died, to make it through the night, love will find you." Buffy cried, and her voice grew louder as she continued to sing, her voice filling the cemetary. Faith heard her from where she hid behind a tree, breathing hard, and crying.

"What about now? What about today? What if you're making me more than I was meant to be? What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind words we could never find? Baby, before it's too late. What about now?" Buffy was now shouting, but then her voice grew soft again, yet Faith could still hear.

"The sun is breaking in your eyes to start a new day. This broken heart cannot survive without the touch of your grace. As shadows fade into the light, wish I was by your side where love will find you.

Buffy shouted again, her voice breaking on nearly every word. "What about now? What about today? What if you're making me more than I was meant to be? What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind words we could never find? Baby, before it's too late. What about now?

"Now that we're here, now that we've come this far, just hold on. There is nothing to fear, for I am right beside you for all my life, I am yours."

Once more, Buffy's voice fell silent, every word cutting Faith's heart like a knife. Buffy fell to her knees and doubled over, clutching her stomach in pain.

"What about now? What about today? What if you're making me more than I was meant to be? What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind words we could never find? Baby before it's too late. What about now?"

Faith slid down the tree and hugged her knees, rocking back and forth, pleading silently with Buffy for her to leave now.

But no such luck. It was as if some kind of god was testing her resolve, saying "If you're going to leave her, you're going to hear what you leaving is doing to her." And with each second that passed, Faith felt her resolve dissolving. She was about to stand back up and run back to Buffy when she saw Willow run up to Buffy and support her, helping her home. She thanked whatever god was listening for helping her not make a huge mistake, like giving in. She couldn't deal with getting hurt again

Willow laid Buffy down in bed and checked her. She had a very high fever. Curling up on the ground in a cemetary when it's only 56 degrees outside is bad for your health, and Buffy had been on the ground for at least an hour and a half before Willow got there. Buffy was delusional. She kept saying the same thing over and over again. "What about now?"

Willow left Buffy alone so she could go get everyone else, and Faith snuck in. She refused to look at Buffy, knowing if she looked, she'd never be able to stop looking, and she'd never leave, but she couldn't stay.

When Willow got back with everyone else, Faith's things were gone. Buffy was all alone. The only thing Faith left behind was a string of pictures she and Buffy had taken in a photo booth when they went to the movies once. There was a note next to it.

Something for you to remember me by, B.- Faith.

Well, at least, with Faith gone, the songs'll be over. Willow thought with sadness. No one else will start singing. I just wish my spell had worked.

The song in this chapter was "What About Now" by Daughtry. Yes, I know, another Daughtry song. But, in my defense, Daughtry is one of the most awesome bands ever. And I will be using at least one more Daughtry song before this story is over. It'll be another song from their self-titled debut album: Daughtry, so if anyone wants to guess which song, tell me your guess in a review. Also, I will not be promising a happy ending to this story, though I might give one, anyway.