Music In Our Hearts
Chapter 10: Break Even
Willow and Dawn were sitting at a café getting a cup of coffee when she saw the flash of blonde hair.
"Willow?" Dawn asked when she saw Willow's face.
Willow didn't answer.
"Willow? You okay?" Dawn looked where Willow was staring and her mouth hung open in shock. Tara was sitting at another table, and she wasn't alone.
Another woman was sitting directly across from her. The two were laughing, having a good time.
No. Willow refused to believe it. She couldn't believe it. No. No. But she was already getting up and walking over to her.
"Willow!" Dawn hissed, trying to hold Willow back before she did something she'd regret. But Willow just shrugged her off.
"Tara?" Willow said desperately when she stood behind her.
"W-Willow?" Tara stammered in surprize.
"Um, do you two know each other?" The woman across from Tara asked.
"Y-yes." Tara answered. "This is Willow. W-Willow, this is C-C-Cierra."
"Is she your... your..." Willow couldn't finish the thought. Tara didn't answer. "Tara?" Willow was close to tears.
"Um... Cierra, m-maybe we should go. The movie's going to be s-starting soon, anyway." Tara said, and Cierra stood up.
"Um... What was that about?" She asked as they walked away.
"I'll explain later." Tara answered.
"Tara..." Willow couldn't move. She could barely breathe.
"Willow?" Dawn asked as she helped the witch sit down. "You going to be okay?"
"I... I'm still alive..." Willow said, like she was trying to reassure herself. "But... But I'm barely breathing." It sounded like she was just noticing, and her breathing was coming harshly.
"Yeah. Deep breaths, Willow. Just take deep breaths."
"Oh, God! Please, no!" Willow gasped, tears coming quickly. People all around looked to see if she was okay, but otherwise ignored her. "God! Please, don't let it be true!" Willow doubled over and lost her stomach as the emotions overwhelmed her.
"Feel better?" Dawn asked hopefully when Willow stopped heaving.
"No." Willow admitted.
The urge rose inside her again, just like it had two weeks ago after Buffy and Faith got rid of most of the magic tools in the house.
"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing. Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in. 'Cause I got time while she got freedom. 'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even. Her best days were some of my worst. She finally met a girl that's gonna put her first. While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping. 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no.
"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces. Yeah, I'm falling to pieces." Willow got up and darted back inside the café to the bathroom, Dawn trailing close behind her.
"They say bad things happen for a reason," Willow continued, leaning against one of the bathroom sinks. "but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding. 'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving. And when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no.
"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces. Yeah, I'm falling to pieces. Yeah, I'm falling to pieces.
"One still in love while the other one's leaving. 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even.
"Oh, you got her heart and my heart and none of the pain. You took your suitcase, I took the blame. Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh. 'Cause you left me with no love and honor to my name.
"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing. Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in. 'Cause I got time while she got freedom. 'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
"No, it don't break, no, it don't break even, no...
"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK? I'm falling to pieces. Yeah, I'm falling to pieces. Yeah, I'm falling to pieces. I'm falling to pieces.
"Oh, it don't break even no. Oh, it don't break even no. Oh, it don't break even no."
Willow slumped to the ground as the music faded, and buried her face in her hands, sobbing.
"Oh, Willow." Dawn sat down beside her and embraced her friend.
...
"What happened?" Buffy asked when Dawn and Willow walked back in the house. She got up off of Faith's lap and stood up as Dawn closed the door.
"At the café, we ran intoTara... and her new girlfriend." Dawn explained.
"Oh, Willow." Buffy hugged the redhead, and Faith stood up as well.
"Damn, that sucks. I'm sorry, Will." Faith said, joining in on the small group hug.
"Thanks." Willow said half-heartedly. "But I'm fine. Yeah, it hurts... But it was going to happen sooner or later. I guess..."
"You were still holding out hope that she'd come back." Buffy guessed.
"A little." Willow confessed, and plopped down on the couch.
Buffy sat next to her and pulled Willow's legs up so they laid across hers.
"It's okay, Will. Maybe it wasn't what it looked like. Maybe they were just friends." Buffy knew she was reaching, Faith knew she was reaching, Dawn knew she was reaching, and Willow definitely knew she was reaching.
"You don't really think that." Willow said.
"Well... maybe not. But it is possible."
Faith picked Willow up slightly so she could slide in on the couch nex to Buffy, then sat Willow down again, so she was sitting in Faith's lap.
"Yeah, it's possible, Red. I mean, come on. Gorgeous thing like you, why would T actually give you up? You're even getting a handle on that addiction of yours. I'm sure she just needed a friend or somethin' to hang out with. Didn't want to bother B or me with it, 'cause she thinks we should be on your side. I mean, we were your friends first." Faith pointed out, trying to comfort Willow.
"But that's ridiculous." Willow said. "You're her friends, too. I don't want anyone to take sides."
"Well, she might have thought you'd get angry, and feel like we'd be betraying you if we hang out with her." Buffy countered.
Willow hesitated. "Maybe. But... Well, could you guys find out? I mean... I don't... I don't think I can face her right now. I don't think I'd handle it well if I saw them together like that. Could... Could you guys find out for me? I don't want to go behind her back or anything, but..."
"I'll ask her." Buffy agreed, looking at Faith, signaling with her eyes. Faith raised her head and looked around, confirming that Dawn wasn't in the room.
"Hey, Red... Um... I know now might not be the best time, but... I was just wonderin' if... maybe, you'd given any thought about... you know? What me and B asked you a couple weeks ago?"
Willow looked her in the eyes for a minute.
"No. I haven't. I've been... busy. Still hoping that Tara would... you know. I didn't want to do anything like... that until I knew for certain, but after today..."
"So... you agreeing?" Buffy asked.
"Um..." Willow thought for a minute. "Yes. I'm agreeing. I... I'll do it. For you guys." She added quickly, though they all knew it wasn't for Buffy or Faith, but for Willow.
"So... it's actually gonna happen?" Faith asked.
"I... I guess so." Willow nodded.
"When should we...?" Buffy asked the two of them.
"Tonight?" Willow asked.
"Sounds good to me." Faith agreed.
"Um... okay... I'll find a way to get Dawn out of the house." Buffy said.
"Okay. I'll handle the plannin'."
"What do I do?" Willow asked.
"Um... Why don't you relax today? Go to the spa or something. Just, take today for yourself, Willow. Try to work through today in your mind before tonight." Buffy suggested.
"Okay." Willow nodded. Buffy lifted Willow's legs and scooted closer to Faith so she was sitting with Willow's thighs on top of her legs, and she wrapped her arms around Faith and Willow, who both returned the embrace.
...
Buffy told Dawn she could stay the night at Cassie's after checking with Cassie's dad first, so Dawn was taken care of for the night. Faith was actually turning out to be pretty romantic when she put forth the effort, so the room was set up spectacularly. The lights were down, candles all around the room, and soft, slow music playing on the radio. Buffy usually liked those movie clichés, so that's what Faith did. She had no idea what Willow liked, but she figured she was pretty much the same. Incense was burning in each corner. Witches like incense, right?
Buffy was pacing nervously in the room while Faith lay down on the bed, as relaxed as can be expected.
"You think she changed her mind?" Buffy asked.
"Nah. Probably just psychin' herself up. I mean, she's got it worse than either of us. Both of us have been havin' sex this whole time. She hasn't gotten any since T left. Least, I don't think so. 'Sides, we'll only be seein' her naked for the first time, she'll be seein' both of us."
"First time? Are you actually planning on having her again?" Buffy tried to tease, but she was still too nervous.
"Ya never know." Faith joked back, trying to ease her mind.
"Funny."
The door slowly opened, and Bufy relaxed, seeing that Willow wasn't actually changing her mind.
"Faith was worried that you wouldn't come." Buffy said accusingly, and Faith snickered.
"Yeah. That was me. Big worrier over here."
"I'm sure." Willow choked on her own breath as she noticed Faith's state of undress. She was in nothing but a black lacey bra and thong. Buffy wore a thin red gown, covering her undergarments that Willow was pretty sure weren't much different from Faith's.
Willow was wearing her usual white silk pajamas with pearly undergarments.
"So... um... Where do we start?" Willow asked nervously.
"Well, you could start by easin' B up. She's more nervous than a vamp in the daylight." Faith smirked.
"I am not!" Buffy protested, but she was shaking slightly. Then again, so was Willow, so Faith was the only one relaxed.
"Um... what do I do?" Willow asked no one in particular.
"Why don't you two just get started for now? I'll sit back and watch for a couple minutes, and join in after while." Faith suggested.
"Right." Willow said softly, then looked back at Buffy. "Um... So... do we... um...?"
Buffy looked back at Faith, who nudged her forward by pushing on Buffy's butt with her foot.
Buffy inchedforward until she was face to face with Willow. Neither of them moved, both too nervous.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud." Faith muttered under her breath. She got up, walked over to Buffy and Willow, and pushed their heads together so they were kissing.
That seemed to be all the encouragement they needed, because their arms wrapped around each other, and they let their tongues dance in each other's mouths.
Faith returned to the bed and sat back, with her back against the headboard. She watched Buffy and Willow kiss, and she felt herself becoming slightly aroused.
Buffy took the next step herself as she unbuttoned Willow's top and let it fall to the ground, revealing her white bra.
Buffy pulled back and shuddered as she glanced at Willow's barely covered breasts. Willow shifted on her feet, her high fading back into nervousness again. Buffy started tugging at her nightgown, trying to remove it with shaky hands.
Realizing Buffy wasn't calling it off, Willow relaxed again and helped her out of the gown, then whined as she saw Buffy in her red bra and panties that were somehow even more revealing than Faith's. THey kissed again, and Faith's arousal heightened as she watched. She found her hand instantly between her legs, rubbing herself through her thong, and moaned.
Buffy and Willow glanced back over to Faith when they heard the moan, and smiled when they saw her hand working between her legs, trying to relieve some of the tension.
Buffy dropped to her knees in front of Willow and slipped Willow's pants down. Both Willow's and Faith's breath caught when Buffy leaned up a bit to kiss Willow's crotch through her panties.
Willow helped Buffy to her feet, and the blonde lead Willow over to the bed, pushing her down gently to lay down, then laying down beside her, kissing her, letting her hands roam over the redhead's body.
"Mmh." Willow sighed into Buffy's mouth when Faith moved over and started touching her as well. Faith's lips attacked her neck and started sucking on her pulse.
As Faith touched Willow, Buffy moved away and slipped out of he undergarments, then returned to the bed, completely bare. Willow's and Faith's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as they stared. Buffy was surprized at how amazed Faith still was at her body after a little more than five full years since they first got together.
Buffy's hands pushed past Willow and unclasped Faith's bra, and Faith took the hint. She needed to be naked, now.
Buffy kissed Willow again as Faith did just that, then returned.
Deciding it was taking too long for them all to be naked, Faith unclasped Willow's bra and slipped it down her arms while Buffy slid her panties down her legs. Buffy pushed Willow down flat on her back so both she and Faith could fully admire her.
Buffy whined a little, and Faith had to agree. Why the hell would T give this up? Willow was amazingly sexy, and yet she still tried to hide herself behind layers of clothes.
Faith looked Buffy in the eyes, then glanced down to Willow's mirror-like womanhood. She was so wet with arousal, Buffy could nearly see her reflection in her mound. Buffy nodded at Faith, then laid back down beside Willow, and Faith laid down on her other side. Willow instinctually turned over to Buffy and kissed her. Faith reached around Willow's hips and pulled her in so her butt was pressed against Faith's core. Willow moaned as she felt Faith's arousal coating her behind with her womanly juices. Her moan turned to a gasp when Faith's hands spread her legs and one of them started teasing her sex while Faith's lips returned again to her neck.
Buffy's hands massaged the redhead's breasts, tweaking and twisting her nipples.
Faith stared down at the two women kissing hungrily, and couldn't help but start grinding her core against Willow's butt.
"Hmm!" Faith groaned. It wasn't enough. Buffy did a damn good job by herself of turning her on, but this was on a whole new level. Seeing both Buffy and Willow had Faith so aroused, she doubted she'd be nearly satisfied by the time the night was over.
Buffy sat up and watched Faith grinding frantically against Willow and smiled. She pushed Willow down on her back again and pressed herself against her side. Her right hand joined Faith's between Willow's legs, and they each pushed two fingers past her entrance. Willow nearly screamed at the feeling of four fingers penetrating her, and the scream let loose as they both started attacking her breasts with their mouths.
"Aah!" Her scream could have shattered every window in the house, and Buffy and Faith started grinding against her hips. The room seemed to be heating up a lot, they were all sweating, glistening.
Willow started thrusting her hips down, desperate for more friction. Her hands slid down to rub her two lovers' sexes, and they both spread their legs to give her better access. She pushed two fingers inside them instantly, not bothering to tease.
Both Buffy and Faith started pumping harder and faster as they all soon felt their climaxes growing nearer.
Willow came first, her orgasm earth-shattering as she screamed again, and liquid fire poured from her womanhood like water from a waterfall. Buffy and Faith came soon after, loving the feel of Willow contracting around their fingers, squeezing them in a vice. They all continued to pump each other, riding out their orgasms to the very end, where they all collapsed beside each other, gasping for air.
Once they caught their breath, Faith pulled Willow's face to her own and kissed her deeply while Buffy slid down her body and attached her mouth to Willow's clit.
"Mmh." Willow moaned into Faith's mouth as Buffy started sucking on her clit. Buffy reached up with her right hand and started stroking Faith's slit.
"God, B." Faith said silently, and Willow hummed her agreement.
...
Willow woke up and found herself curled up between Buffy and Faith, their arms wrapped around her, as if protecting her from something, and she'd only ever felt this safe when embraced by Oz, and then Tara.
She smiled, then thought that maybe she should leave. She was pretty much the third wheel, but she didn't know how to get up without waking Faith or Buffy. Her opening came when Buffy started shifting. She didn't let go of Willow, but the redhead took advantage of her movemens to slip out of her and Faith's embrace. She carefully slid off the bed and found her undergarments and silk pajamas. She got dressed again and quietly moved to exit the bedroom.
"Willow?" She heard. She turned around and saw both Slayers still asleep, but Buffy was stirring, searching the bed for Willow.
Willow held her breath until Buffy touched Faith and, thinking it was Willow, moved in and put her arms around her instead, and Faith did the same.
She released her breath and opened the door, closing it quietly behind her.
"Willow?" Willow whipped around and saw Dawn standing just outside of the bathroom.
"Dawn!" Willow squeaked.
"What were you doing in Buffy and Faith's room?" Dawn asked slowly.
"Dawn..."
"Oh my god. You weren't..." Dawn nearly shrieked.
"Shhh! They're asleep!" Willow hushed her.
"Wait, both of them?!" Dawn shivered.
"Just, leave it alone, Dawn! It was their idea!" Willow said, still quietly.
"Good God, Willow!"
"Could you just drop it, please?!" Willow pleaded with her, certain that the Slayers would be waking up any second now.
"No! You just had sex with my sister! And her girlfriend! But... Tara! What about Tara?!"
"She has a new girlfriend now!" Willow hissed angrily. "Don't you go off on me! She broke up with me! Not the other way around!" Willow stormed past Dawn, who stood there in shock at Willow's anger. Willow never got angry. Never.
...
Buffy shook Faith awake as soon as she noticed Willow was gone.
"Faith, Willow left."
"Huh?" Faith mumbled.
"Willow, she left."
"Why?" Faith asked, stretching.
"I don't know. I just woke up, and she was gone."
"Maybe she had to go to the bathroom or somethin'."
"Maybe... I don't know."
Buffy slowly started to get out of bed, but Faith's arm wrapped around her waist pulled her back.
"No. Don't leave." Faith begged.
"But I need to go find Willow."
"Okay, you have your girlfriend naked in bed, begging you to lay back down and kiss her, and you're thinking about your best friend?" Faith teased.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm just worried about her. She's been so moody these last couple of weeks, but she seemed to be getting better. But then the whole thing with Tara happened, and it was right back to square one."
Just then, they heard a knock on the front door. Someone answered it, and they heard Dawn nearly shriek when she saw Tara at the door.
"Um... hello?" Tara asked, confused about the shriek.
"Tara! You're... You're here!"
"Yeah, I... I j-just wanted to come and e-explain what happened yesterday to Willow. She looked really upset yesterday. I th-thought she might have freaked out or over-reacted or s-something."
"Over-reacted? I don't know about "over" reacting, but she definitely reacted."
"We'd better get down there quickly." Buffy said, and Faith agreed.
...
"Tara?" Buffy said when they got downstairs.
"Oh... Hi, Buffy, Faith. Is... Is Willow here?"
"Um... I don't know. We just got up." Buffy raised an eyebrow when she saw Dawn's expression. Does she know?
"Um... I-I guess you heard about yesterday?" Tara asked.
"Yeah. Red took it pretty hard." Faith replied.
"B-but, she didn't really need to freak out or anything, it wasn't what it looked like. I-I mean, it wasn't, like, a d-date, or anything. Cierra is j-just a friend. We were just hanging out."
"That's all it was?" Buffy asked.
"Y-yes."
"But... didn't you break up with her?" Buffy asked.
"What? No! W-well... I mean... maybe... maybe I accidentally said something l-like that... to her... So... she might have... taken it seriously... Especially after yesterday... so I wouldn't blame her if she's seeing someone else." Tara said, hoping they'd deny it.
"Well... I don't know about actually seeing somebody..." Buffy said, feeling guilty about last night's "activities" now.
"But... she has been... sleeping with someone?"
"O-only once... that I know of."
"Oh. Well... that's okay. Because... like I said... I, um... Actually did kind of break up with her, but... I didn't actually mean, like, break up, break up. I... I meant like, taking a break or something. But... It's okay... It's my fault... I'm not angry."
"That's good." Buffy agreed.
"So... do... do you know... who it was?" Tara asked. "Wait, don't answer that, it's none of my business."
"Um..." Buffy looked at Faith, who nodded. "Actually... You probably should know. Um... It was me. And Faith. At the same time. It was, kind of a threesome type of thing. It was actually more for Willow's benefit than for us. As in, like, completely for her." Buffy looked away, unable to meet Tara's eyes.
"Wait... You two... slept with... with Willow?" Tara asked. Confusion was plain on her face. Buffy looked at Dawn and noticed she wasn't surprized.
Crap. She did know.
"Yeah. Red was down, so we thought we'd try somethin' to cheer her up a bit. We all thought you'd broken up with her, includin' her, after today, so we didn't really think it was a big deal. Figured it might help her move on or somethin'." Faith explained. "Sorry about it. Guess it was a big misunderstandin'."
"Um... N-n-no. N-no, it's okay. Um... It... I mean... I did say I was... I mean, technically..."
"Tara, I'm so sorry..." Buffy said, taking a step towards her. Tara flinched back before she could stop herself.
"Tara?" Everyone turned to see Willow coming down the stairs. "W-what are you doing here?"
"W-Willow!" Tara nearly squeaked.
"Tara?"
"I... um... I j-just... I wanted t-to see... I mean... um... I was... just stopping by... to say h-hi."
"Oh." Willow's shoulders sagged.
"So... hi." Tara said.
"H-hi." Willow replied.
Tara smiled quickly, then left before she could break down. She closed the door a little harder than she meant to, then ran back to her car and drove away.
"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I gonna say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?" Tara sang softly with no music, tears rolling down her cheeks.
The song in this chapter is "Breakeven" by The Script. I haven't heard this song in years, so when I heard it on Sirius XM: The Blend, I thought it would be absolutley perfect for this chapter. Let me know what you think! Obviously, I changed some of the lyris, but really only the ones that refer to the "new guy" in the girl's life. I changed them to female pronouns to reflect Tara's status as a lesbian, of course. Now, I know I haven't really done much for the actual supernatural aspect of this story in a while, other than the spontaneous singing in each chapter, but I'm going to be picking it up again in the next chapter. Also, this story will, regrettably, be coming to a close soon. I might make it to fifteen chapters, but I don't know. But if I drag this on too much longer, it's going to become redundant. Plus, I'll run out of decent songs. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter!