Olivia, suspicious that there was more to that statement than Elliot was sharing at the moment, decided not to push the issue right then. She sat up a little straighter, pulled her hair into a ponytail and reached for her tea. She had just taken a sip when a knock at the door startled them both.
Olivia stood up from the couch, shot Elliot a concerned look and moved towards the door. Looking through the peephole, she let out a relieved sigh and quickly opened the door revealing an exhausted looking Maureen, Lizzie, Dickie, and a sleeping Eli. Olivia ushered them in as Elliot rose from the couch in surprise.
"What are you guys doing here?" Elliot asked, concerned.
"Yeah, like we were going to stick around while mom goes nuts at the home packing what little stuff you still have at home and muttering nasty things about Liv under her breath." Maureen replied sarcastically, depositing Eli, still asleep onto the now vacant couch. She shrugged off her coat and began helping the twins out of their snow boots while Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances.
"I'm sorry you guys are in the middle of all this. Things are kind of a mess right now, Mo." Elliot sighed, walking towards Maureen and pulling her into a hug.
"I noticed. Wanna fill me in?" Maureen asked, hands on her hips as she gave her father a look that Olivia had seen many times in the interrogation room: the famous Stabler "don't bullshit me right now" glare.
"Why don't you two go chat in the bedroom and I'll entertain the twins out here." Liv offered while she rifled through one of the drawers in the kitchen. When Elliot didn't respond right away, she peeked up at him through her lashes and gave him a reassuring smile. His heart fluttered despite his downtrodden mood and he smiled back.
Olivia's eyes stayed with his, unable or unwilling to break their connection until Maureen cleared her throat breaking their silent, reassuring communication. Olivia at last pulled some crayons and a coloring book that she kept for the twins out of the drawer and handed them to an eager Lizzie. They rarely stopped by anymore but she kept them just in case. She turned around as she closed the drawer with her hip and caught Elliot's eyes still on her. She blushed reflexively and busied herself with getting Lizzie and Dickie set up at the kitchen table.
As Elliot and Maureen disappeared into bedroom, Olivia let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. It's just Elliot She scolded herself. He's going through a tough time and he needs a friend, not some hormonal, sex deprived... "LIVIA! Color with us!" Lizzie shouted, breaking the detective's concentration and snapping her back to reality. Liv shook her head and sat down. She picked up a purple crayon and started to color a picture of Dora the Explorer.
A few moments later, a very groggy Eli, holding a worn blue blanket tottered over to Olivia and held his arms up asking to sit in her lap. He laid his tired head on her chest and watched as she continued to color with the twins.
"'Livia?" Dickie piped up after a few moments.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Why is mommy so mad?"
"I don't know, honey. Sometimes grown ups do silly things and get mad at each other."
"Oh." Dickie responded, his eyes sad and shoulders heavy.
"You know she's not made at you, right Dickie?"
"Yeah, I know. I wish she was mad at me instead of at daddy though. She always gets better when she gets mad at me. When she gets mad at daddy, she stays mad for a long time." Dickie said while coloring his jungle scene bright green.
Olivia sighed and traded her purple crayon for a blue one. She looked at Dickie with compassion and reached across the table to rest her hand on his little arm. "She'll get better soon, Dickie. I promise."
"'Livia?"
"Yeah, Lizzie?"
"I wish you were our mom."
"Why's that honey?" Asked a stunned Olivia.
"Because daddy loves you. He doesn't love mommy anymore. If you were our mommy, he wouldn't fight with you."
Olivia didn't know what to say so she said nothing. She simply smiled at the young girl whose innocent words filled Olivia with such a mix of sadness and love at the same time. Lizzie had just expressed the one thing Olivia had forbid herself from thinking about: a life with Elliot. She knew the little girl was simply expressing her comfort with Olivia but it affected her all the same. At work, she was perfectly capable of putting up her steely professional walls but today, with his youngest child snuggled in her lap and his twins so comfortably sharing and being with her, maintaining those barriers was a little more difficult. They were each others "perfects." She knew that. She knew that Elliot's family was his foundation and that his marriage was not only supremely important to him, it was sacramental and that under no circumstance would he jeopardize any of those things. But things had gone wrong anyway. He was unhappy anyway and all his commitment meant nothing because Elliot and Kathy, at least in Olivia's eyes, were never meant to last. Elliot wanted out, Kathy cheated, and Olivia was stuck in a weird limbo cuddling and coloring with their children until the storm blew through.
Eli picked that moment to snuggle closer, bury his head in Olivia's neck and fall back asleep. A gentle peace washed over Olivia as she continued to color and chat with the twins and before she knew it, an hour had passed and the kids were starting to get hungry. She gathered Eli up in her arms and walked over to the bedroom. Knocking first, she called to Maureen and Elliot to ask if they wanted any lunch. A puffy-eyed Maureen answered the door and immediately wrapped her arms around Olivia and Eli. Olivia cradled her against her chest and looked over her head at her partner.
Elliot was seated on the edge of her bed, eyes just as red and swollen as Maureen's and looking at Olivia with an emotion that she rarely saw from him. Actually, the last time she had seen this level of emotional depth and compassion radiating from him was at her mom's funeral. She wanted to run to him, hold him and just let him cry but of course, she stopped herself and threw her emotions into check like she was so used to doing.
Maureen pulled back after a few moments and looked into Olivia's eyes.
"Thank you, Olivia."
Olivia knitted her eyebrows in slight confusion. "For what, babe?"
"Taking care of my dad, taking care of us."
"Mo, I have no idea what you're talking about but if it makes you feel better, your welcome." Olivia said with a chuckle in an attempt to laugh off the seriousness of the situation but Maureen's face didn't change.
"I'm serious, Liv. Dad just told me everything and I never realized how much we all need you. Thank you."
With that, Maureen scooped Eli out of Olivia's arms and went to check on the twins.
Olivia, heart pounding with emotion, folded her arms across her stomach and walked towards Elliot. She sat down next to him leaving some space in between them and stared at the floor.
"How are you?" She said after a few seconds of heavy silence.
"Honestly, not great but I'll be okay."
Olivia turned her head and glanced at him through her long brown hair. She smiled slightly and placed her hand gently on his hand that rested on his knee. She squeezed reassuringly and went to move her hand away but he caught it and kept it there.
"Liv." He started, heart pounding so loud he was sure she could hear it in his voice.
She brushed the hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "Hmm?"
"What Maureen said, it's true. You have taken care of me whether you realized it or not. I can't thank you enough for being there for all of us."
"El, I haven't done anything." Liv said, slightly shaking her head. "You've barely talked to me about your problems with Kathy over the years. How could I have done anything?"
"You were there and I knew I could go to you. That makes a huge difference and means a lot to me. You've kept me sane. Thank you."
"You're welcome." She whispered, glancing at their entwined hands.
Sensing that she was getting ready to recoil and pull away as Olivia did when things got too heavy, Elliot suddenly stood up and released her hand.
"Should we get these kids some lunch?" He said with his trademark Stabler grin, though not as wide and bright as usual.
"Yeah, I guess we should." Olivia said, smiling in return, the weight and worry on her heart lifting at least for the moment.