"Zara, the leader has a bullet proof suit!"
Leo, many a man have Kevlar just lying around. However, it will prove useless to have when I hit their Achilles' Heel!
"…Is that why the nuclear missile you had me build has the words 'Achilles' Heel' written on it?"
Exactly, Douglas. Get that thing ready to go. Everyone else, get your radiation suits on and go to the bunker. We're nuking these fangirls.
Meanwhile, I'd like to thank the readers and reviewers. As a treat, those of you who aren't in the fangirl army get to watch the army explode before your very eyes. What a treat, right?
RissA15: I leave cliffies because – if you killed the author – you would never know how the story would end. It would eat you alive forever.
DisneyXDGirl: "But I like Oly. :("
"Sorry. Chase likes Oly. Gotta leave her alone."
AllAmericanSlurp: Watch as, before your very eyes, it happens.
Gg180000: I think we should test that, so I'm going to pull on his tail. Be right back.
….
I have a black eye now.
Moonlit: Because I am a bitch, and, as such, it brings me great joy to mess with your heads. :P
Mia-Teresa-Davenport: "Might as well use this situation to my advantage then. Hey, other me: I'm stealing your girlfriend. Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Shinxshinx1595: Gotta watch out for those murderer-rapist-kidnappers. They're sly ones.
So, who wants to do this? Oly?
"Zara doesn't own Lab Rats or anything you recognize. If you don't recognize it, it's probably hers."
"Hey, Zara: We're ready to launch this thing."
Let 'er rip, Douglas!
Missile launch in 10.
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""Time spent arguing is, oddly enough, almost never wasted."
Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian
"We are not really spying; we're just satisfying our curiosity."
Paul Christopher
Chapter Eight - Schrödinger's Cat
Chase
"Yes! I'm still awesome!" I cheered, throwing my hands up in the air and grinning excitedly.
Well, Bree later used the word "maniacally," but I liked "excitedly." I imagined that the various machinery of the Lab in the background gave me a mad scientist kind of look.
And why was I so excited? Because Azazel's Bane had protected the guy I had driven away. He was still a mysterious glowing bastard, but at least he wasn't invincible.
One question was answered. I felt slightly better about that.
However, instead of joining me in my revelry, I was met with less-than-enthusiastic reactions from my family. Tasha and Adam just stared, Bree slowly backed away from me, Mr. Davenport sighed and rubbed his eyes, and Leo and Douglas smacked one of my shoulders each. Yahn was perched on Adam's good shoulder, shaking his head as he frowned while Ysthry hissed distastefully from the floor at Leo's feet. Oly was nowhere to be found, so she had no reaction for me to see.
Where was she, anyways?
Oh well. She was probably fine.
I dropped my arms to my sides before rubbing at the shoulder Douglas had hit. He hadn't hurt me, but I liked to think that it bothered him a bit if I acted like it did.
It gnawed at his conscience like a little termite.
Who was I kidding? Douglas' conscience had disappeared a long time ago. Well, it mostly had. There was still a small sliver of it swimming around in his soul somewhere. He'd done one too many less-than-heartless things for anything else to be true.
He just kind of ignored it most of the time, I guessed. It was probably pretty quiet.
Anyways, the rest of the situation got worse from there. Azazel's Bane was only accessible by the Summoner's Council. So was the Council after us now? And to what end? It wasn't like we were high-profile targets to them.
I mean, I was me, and I still couldn't think of a motive.
Maybe Krane had corrupted a few Summoners, like everyone seemed to think. However, I had a few problems with this: Why would he use the Council when he was basically all-powerful? Instead of sending giant-assed glow worms to kill us in the night, why didn't he just do it himself? What could he possibly gain from that?
"Quick question: Why would Krane need the Council?" Tasha asked after a moment.
Thank you, Tasha! Way to ask my questions for me.
"Who knows?" Mr. Davenport responded. "Who knows why he does anything?"
"Might be all the politicians in the Council," Douglas proposed. "Just a guess."
I nodded slowly, crossing my arms. "Makes sense. Why work alone when you can have a hand in the various levels of government? It would make things easier if some politicians could make the law turn a blind eye."
"Why the hell won't any politicians cover my crimes up?" Douglas muttered.
Tasha just sighed. Huh, no lecture about language this time. Maybe she was getting used to it?
No way. She probably let it slide because it was his birthday.
Actually, it wasn't.
Got it: She let it slide because it wasn't his birthday.
Shut up. I wanted an explanation, so I was going with that one.
"So Krane is being shielded by a member of the Summoner's Council," Leo said, bringing me out of my random thoughts.
"That's crazy, though," Bree piped up.
"Seriously," Adam supported. "Who in their right mind would help Krane. He's nuts."
"It doesn't matter why," Mr. Davenport responded. "It matters that it's happening."
"Theoretically," Yahn added suddenly. "We have no proof that this is Krane's doing. Just Azazel's Bane and a hunch. Maybe it's just a Councilor with an axe to grind?"
"Against us?" I raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Maybe," Ysthry said. "Or a hired thief? You do have The Arm of Raziel. It doesn't matter how many times you claim that it's just a replica that Half-Breed uses as a chew toy. Someone is going to believe you have the real one, even if you didn't. So maybe someone wanted to steal it for themselves."
"I don't chew on it," I growled indignantly, pinning my ears. I occasionally wanted to - quite a few imps were in there - but I ignored it. Besides, stealing it from Mr. Davenport's and Tasha's room - Tasha had decided to keep an eye on it after Mr. Davenport's and Douglas' failed attempt at activating it to make sure no one tried it again - just to chew on it seemed like a waste of time and effort.
You could be doing something productive, like eating the faces off of random civilians.
Okay, gross. I wrinkled my nose and curled my lip. It drew some stares, but no one asked about it.
"It has to be Krane," Leo argued.
"Call it a hunch, but I think it's Krane, too," Douglas agreed.
"Seriously; who else would it be?" Tasha pursed her lips. "That psycho is coming after us with the Council."
"But Yahn and Ysthry are right," Mr. Davenport argued. "It could be nothing."
"Besides, anyone who either works with Krane now or has in the past is an idiot," Adam added.
"Watch it," Douglas growled, pointing at Adam. I smirked at his slight offense.
"It could have been anybody," I decided, bringing the topic back around to what looked like the beginning of a fun debate. "Right, Bree?"
"It's both," she answered, quietly playing with the glass bead she wore around her wrist.
We all stared at her, confused. "What?" Mr. Davenport asked.
Bree sighed. "It's Schrödinger's cat, isn't it? Think about it: It could either involve Krane or not. However, since we have no way of knowing which one, both states exist until we find out which one it is and collapse the entire equation."
I recalled telling her about Schrödinger's cat about a year ago. I didn't think she was actually paying attention, though. Someone listened when I talked?! It was unheard of!
Well, that wasn't exactly fair. They just didn't listen when they weren't interested in what I had to say. I guessed that Bree found Schrödinger's psychological experiment with cats and boxes interesting. More importantly, she had applied it to a situation when it hadn't even crossed my mind. Not that it would help much, but it made it a bit easier to wrap my mind around. "Both," I finally agreed, nodding slowly.
One by one, everyone began to voice agreements. Even Adam seemed to understand what it was, which was a miracle in itself.
"So what do we do, then?" Ysthry asked, a bit of her acidic saliva dripping on the floor and creating a small burn. How Leo tolerated that on his shoulder, I would never know. I guessed that she was extra careful around him.
"We get ready for both," Mr. Davenport answered. "We ramp up the security system, for starters."
"And we need to rub elbows with the Council, too," Douglas added. "Some spying never killed anyone."
Unless they were caught. Those were good punishments.
I saw a lovely image of Douglas being tied to four different horses that ran in four different directions. Way to go, little voice; I almost puked. Swallowing down the threatening bile, I pinned my ears. "So, who's doing what? Who's going to fight off murderous raping kidnappers, and who's going to cozy up to the Summoner's Council?"
"Let's split it down logical lines," Douglas answered. "Summoners to the Council, everyone else to home security."
"Leo is not going to spy on the Council," Tasha protested immediately. "He could get hurt."
"But he's our ticket in!" Douglas argued. "Councilors love young Summoners. They're more eager to open up to Leo because they want to mentor him."
"Please, Mom?" Leo begged beside me. "I'm their ticket in."
"I'll guard him," I offered. Why, you ask? Because Douglas was right. Everyone wanted a prodigy. It was extremely flattering.
After a moment, Tasha sighed heavily. "If something goes wrong, you'll have something much more dangerous to worry about than Krane," she warned, glaring at Douglas.
He threw up his hands innocently. "He'll be fine. He just needs some practice on how to act, and we're good to go."
Wait, why did I have a nagging feeling that said practice was going to involve me?
"Okay," Mr. Davenport said, clapping his hands together once. "Adam, Chase, Douglas, and Leo are going to infiltrate the Summoner's Council. Meanwhile, Bree, Tasha and I will think of ways to make the house safer. Everybody on the same page?" When we nodded, he threw a hand straight out in front of him. "All right! Team Davenport on three!"
No one added their hands to the pile he was trying to create. Instead, we just stared at him.
Mr. Davenport dropped his hand, embarrassed. "Let's just do this."
"You are all assholes!"
I pinned my ears as Oly's voice reverberated around the tunnel as she left it, her eyes blazing furiously. She had several scratches and was obviously pissed about something, so I reacted as logically as I could.
I started laughing. Really, really hard.
Why, you ask?
Because, around her neck, was an inch-wide, randomly –shaped collar made totally of the living room wall.
I didn't know what happened, but I imagined that it was worth it just to see what I was now.
Oops; I meant, poor Oly. What meanies let her put her head through the wall and left her there?
"You're paying for that," Mr. Davenport muttered, pointing at Douglas.
Douglas grinned and patted my shoulder. "I can fix it for free. Or, rather, Chase can. Can't you?"
I could hang a picture over it, I supposed. Whatever got it done faster so that we could go after the Council. Nodding, I picked Oly up as she huffed and sat on my feet.
"When did you learn to fix walls?" Leo asked curiously as I examined Oly's new fashion accessory in an attempt to get it off of her.
I glanced sideways at him. "Who cares?"
"I do, actually," Adam said, raising his hand.
"We built a freaking schoolhouse in Spain," Douglas answered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Does it really matter where he picked it up from?"
Mr. Davenport looked ready to ask something else, but Eddy popped up on the screen. "There's a guy at the gate claiming to have a couch. Can I shoot lasers at him?"
"No!" Mr. Davenport yelped immediately. "Just let him in."
"Killjoy," Eddy muttered before disappearing.
"Guess training is going to be held off?" I asked, perking my ears hopefully. It wasn't every day that a new couch showed up.
"Just until they leave." With that, Mr. Davenport exited the Lab via the tunnel to greet the man upstairs.
"'Just until they leave,'" Douglas imitated, making his voice high-pitched and mocking. He then snorted, his voice returning to normal. "All telling me what to do…."
"I'm Douglas, and my older brother keeps telling me what to do," Bree said with a smirk, her voice a dead ringer for Douglas' as she used her vocal manipulation. "I like to ignore people when they tell me to do things because I want to fit in with the cool kids."
Everyone but Douglas burst out laughing. Even Bree lost it there, unable to continue.
Douglas – instead of using his barbed tongue to lash back at her – simply pulled a pen out of his pocket and picked up a piece of paper, muttering the words as if he wasn't joking as he wrote them. "Note to self: Disable Bree's vocal manipulation."
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Missile Launching.
Woohoo! Everyone cover your ears! It's gonna be….
Not…taking…off….
Hey! I thought you said this thing was working, Douglas!
"I'll see what's wrong. Keep your underwear on, woman. Damn."
Some explosives expert he is.
O_o Son of a bitch just threw a screwdriver at my head!
Anyways, Leo's going to go undercover! Woohoo! How many people think he's going to mess up? I could probably name a couple of you off the top of my head. xD
Anywho, feel free to review. Or don't. I get to shoot a nuclear missile either way. :P
When it actually works.
Until then, enjoy.
*Bows and exits*