Hi, I am so so so sorry that I took ages to update! I have plenty going on here, especially at school and well, life; but I'm back to post this, I did also have a bit of writers block, but I got the writing bug bite again, and I'm hoping that I can come up with more things or twists etc. Please, if a long delay, do not think that I have stopped writing, because I don't want to stop. Anyway, I'm making up for this delay, I hope you enjoy it! Its sort of a sorry gift, so please accept and I hope you really do ejoy it! Ok, time to stop blabbering and time to let you read this chapter. Enjoy guys!
Chapter 6. Heart and mind at war.
Being one hour before the stroke of midnight was perfect for some time alone out in the gardens of the palace. The fresh breeze would gently caress your skin with its smooth, running and un-catch-able fingers. Its scent slithered its way into your nostrils, making them flare in natural reaction, to inhale more of the seductively inviting and sweet scent of the Mandalorian flowers beginning to bloom into a beautiful sunset yellow. The flowers danced in the breeze, leaves from near by bushes plucked off from their roots and began to twirl in the gentle breeze, many more joining in to form a small twister of golden, brown and green.
The breeze sent a cool chill running down the Jedi Generals back, and he shivered in response, his white teeth chattering. Blast the cold.
The black sky was littered with white, shining stars that twinkled like a bunch of sparkling diamonds in the sky, bringing light down upon him, his white tunic and generals armour. The glowing white moon was in full circle this night, and shone a silver light across the patio floor that provided a path for him to walk.
As if his destiny awaited him at the end, he followed it, his armoured white boots clinking against the concrete underneath eyes roamed across all the wonderful life across the garden. His Force signature seemed to brighten and merge with the flickering life signatures around him - from small humming birds that whizzed past him, or just other very small wildlife garden animas; his presence seemed to lighten and dance with them. The others all danced too along with him.
The Jedi allowed his mind to wander for a few minutes. His thoughts instantly wondered to the rule on attachment. Should it really be changed? Love was a powerful creature, that crawled around the darkness. It could give a person strength and an amazingly strong will, and wonderful spirit - but at the same time, that creature could easily turn into anger and hate, even jealousy. It would pounce out and coil around you and create something dark inside of you.
Obi-Wan had lashed out at Vizla yesterday, and not precisely in self defence. He had struck in anger at the taunts he made about killing Satine, which had tampered with his normally calm and controlled demeanour, turning him into what he had nearly become back on that faithful day on Naboo where he lost his beloved mentor. However, he had proved once again that he was strong enough to overcome the darkness for another time. On the other hand, the galaxy was drastically changing because of the drastic effects the Clone Wars were inflicting upon it.
He knew that if the Jedi refused to change they would certainly fall into an era of darkness. With the Sith slowly rising and clouding their judgement, even perhaps controlling the senate, as Dooku once told him on Geonosis when he was held captive, it was too risky.
He had two great commitments to hold onto, he just didn't know which one he should let go of. He was devoted to the Jedi Order, the code engrained into him, apart from the area of attachment. He was too much of a compassionate man, one who loved with an open heart. He was a Jedi though down to the bone. It was his very being; however, the Order only remained in control of his mind. His heart however, belonged to, and was controlled by someone else. That someone being Satine, the beautiful duchess.
His mind would whisper her name when he saw her, the words like a gentle caress blown in the gentle wind. He found his chest would tighten, as if being caved in, and his breathing would turn heavy. To add to that as well, his heart would beat ten times faster than usual, pumping the blood and adrenaline he felt through him.
His eyes would glue to her, and he'd find it near impossible to tear his gaze off her beautiful features… or her body which was shaped like an hour glass. The problem with that was that his human nature would try and overcome his Jedi mind power, the man inside him trying to break out. His body would react strangely, and his feet would pick up and drag his legs forward, bringing his upper body with him towards her. He did all he could each and every time to not wrap his strong arms around her, and crush her soft and warm lips with his own.
It was hard, and he needed to let go of one. He fought a battle inside him between his heart and mind each time he was around her, finding that the mind would dominate, but the heart would grow stronger and more resilient for its next feud with the complex mind.
Blast the Code! Its not right!Both heart and mind were on completely opposite sides. His mind screamed the contexts of the code at him over and over, making his head pound and his fingers to rise to his temples and rub them, blocking out the nausea. His heart would scream at him to just hang the code, for he wont over come it, due to his compassion and love towards any life form, no matter what they have committed.
The heart was beginning to rise up and take control, the man inside him rising, ready to break free, even if for this night. Just once, Obi-Wan Kenobi wanted a moment of happiness. Even for just this night. He had already suffered so much in the warring years, was there really need for more?.
Suffered too much of it you have padawan. Qui-Gon's deep and gentle voice called to him. Allow your heart and mind to come together, but for now, let the heart rule you tonight. Let it lead you to what you want most.
A smile touched the Jedi's lips. Master, even though you are gone, you continue to watch over me and guide me. Allow my heart to lead me tonight.
Yes my former padawan. Your heart is strong. You've kept it hidden for so long in this war, trying to show your strengths and no weaknesses. But sometimes weakness shows, and sometimes, the weakness in which you find is your compassion, is what can be needed out there, when another life is in need of someone's kindness. Bring that kindness to Satine. Show her you still care, that you love her - that you are devoted to her. Its another test of your first trial. Let nothing stand in the way of your love Obi-Wan. Be yourself.
His mind had settled at his Master's words of wisdom. The heart grew and broke free. He turned back around to walk into the palace entrance, and get some much needed rest.
The heart had won this round.
There we go! Love it? Hate it? I just hope that it was a good enough chapter for you to forgive me for my delay. I hope to be faster in my next chapter people. Let me know if there's anything you want to say. I'm not sure exactly how long I will post as I have an english exam on wednesday for two hours, but I will post faster. Oh, and I hope not to have another writers block. Until next time. :)