THE LAST TEMPTATION OF SUSAN

Chapter Five: Out In The Open

"Enough!" Prince Rabadash had been losing at tennis all morning, and when Susan got ready to serve again he halted the game with an imperious cry. "The day grows hot, barbarian queen. Let us drink and rest beneath the trees. You have exercised enough for one day."

"It's not good to be a sore loser." Queen Susan smiled, but inwardly she felt a bit nervous. Rabadash was her host, but she knew from experience how quickly he could change from courteous to cruel. If they were ever going to get along, she would have to teach him to manage his fiery temper.

"Nothing is good about losing," the prince grumbled. "This lesson was one of many I learned as a result of losing you." Though he sounded angry, when he pulled back a chair for her his manner was relaxed, his eyes amused.

"My sister Lucy tells me you had words with Aslan." Susan seated herself with dignity, keeping her voice cool and polite. "How did it feel, being turned into a donkey?"

"Ah, I understand. You know the Lion is watching out for you. That is why you feel safe with me now." Rabadash didn't blow up. He gave her a steady look, his dark eyes seeing right through her skimpy modern tennis outfit. "Yes, it is true. When all was lost I cursed the great Lion, and he gave me a stiff punishment. He has great power, and I respect that. Yet something tells me his power is not absolute."

"What makes you say that?" Susan asked.

He smiled. "You are here. And not by the Lion's will."

"How do you know what Aslan wants? He's not a tame lion!" Susan blushed. Deep down she felt that Aslan really would not approve of her feelings for Rabadash, tame or not. And the prince knew what she felt. He remembered everything they'd done before. That only made her blushes even hotter.

"I know he is not," Rabadash said, gently. "But I also know he can be merciful. I am no longer a foolish donkey, Susan. But I'm still impatient to finish what was begun between us."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Susan's voice was cool, but her cheeks were burning. Rabadash just looked at her, so dark and gorgeous and arrogantly sure of his appeal. "I was tricked into coming here against my will!"

"Of course you were, lovely queen. We are alike in that – and in other things too." Just then Zuleika arrived with refreshments on a tray. Rabadash poured iced tea for the two of them, his hands steady and his manner almost gentle.

"We are not alike. I'm gentle and good, you're cruel and evil." Susan glared at him as she sipped the delicious chilled tea, flavored with a slice of lemon. The ice in her glass chattered noisily, but only because her stupid hands kept shaking. "Were you really brought here against your will?" she asked, trying to ignore the strong undercurrent of physical attraction. "I thought you and Benruz Tarkhaan were friends."

"My liking for the man is wide as the sea," Rabadash replied. "Yet my trust is but a narrow pathway through the dark forest. For has not one of the poets said, the charm of the wicked invariably blinds the eyes of the gullible?"

"I think the poet was talking about someone else." Susan concealed a smile behind the frosty rim of her glass. "But the Tarkhaan seemed like a decent enough sort when I met him at Cair Paravel. How did you first meet him?"

Prince Rabadash refilled his drink, looking a bit shamefaced. "During the time of my punishment, I was often very lonely. Benruz Tarkhaan was one of two people in Tashbaan who took the time to visit me. Being famed as a magician, he thought that perhaps he could lift the donkey curse from me."

"But he did not succeed." Susan couldn't help but gloat a bit. "Aslan is not a tame lion. No man may undo his work."

The prince nodded. "When I think of all the hours I spent as a donkey, hopping through one magic hoop or another, having powders sprinkled over my fur, it's a wonder I didn't go quite mad! Benruz Tarkhaan seemed so confident, but before long it was clear to me that his magic was powerless. And then I began to think about the Lion, and why he had been given such power over me. What had I done wrong?"

Susan tightened her lips, holding back a tide of emotion. "Surely you need no clue from me, most sagacious prince."

Rabadash looked at her. "Yes, my feelings for you had reduced me to a sorry state. But my sufferings meant little when I began to realize how much my folly had cost others. Many good men died on that raid I led into Archenland."

The tide broke loose. "And many more would have, if you'd succeeded! If good people hadn't given us warning, my brother and sister wouldn't have been there to stop your treacherous attack. Why did you do it, Rabadash?"

"Why did I do it, cruel queen? Why did you leave Tashbaan? Why did you slip away secretly, without saying goodbye?"

"Because I knew you were a selfish, cruel brute at heart – and you proved me right!" Susan hated angry scenes, but at least things were finally out in the open. No matter what Rabadash did to her, at least she could say she'd given him a piece of her mind. Now and then it was good be angry, even if people said you were the gentle one in the family.

He looked furious as well. "By all of your gods and mine, Susan, beautiful though you are, you are still an icy fiend! Do you think I don't know I was wrong? Wrong when I tried to hold you here by force, wrong when I chased after you, wrong when I led my most faithful friends into a deadly trap! Until Aslan changed me I was blind to my hateful deeds – and now I'm unable to see, hear, or smell anything else!"

"Well, serve you right!" Susan didn't mean to rub it in, but she was still very upset. Her slim white hands shook as she poured herself more iced tea. "I suppose I should feel sorry for you, being a donkey and being laughed at by everyone. But it seems to me that Aslan was very merciful indeed!"

"Yes," the prince said, slowly. "I see that too. No punishment is as horrible as knowing yourself. Not for a man like me, anyway. But I have a question for you, Queen Susan."

"What question?" Susan looked at him warily. Now that she'd gotten things off her chest, she wanted to be alone. Her heart was racing, and she felt a nasty headache coming on.

"I know how it feels to be wrong," Rabadash stated quietly. "But how does it feel to be right?"

"How does it feel?" Susan gulped down her iced tea and stared at him. "What do you mean, how does it feel?"

The prince looked impatient. "How did you feel when you left me? Were you happy that you did the right thing?"

Her heart sank. "No," she said softly. "No, I was miserable."

Rabadash sighed deeply. "Then apparently, there is no difference between good and evil. I was miserable too."