III

Nell practically dragged Abby up the stairs, the butler hurrying after them balancing the boxes that were stacked so high he couldn't see the steps.

"Just put them on the bed, Murray," Nell said impatiently.

"Yes, Miss," he said as the boxes fell onto the bed despite his care. He started to arrange them when Nell stopped him and told him to leave and to close the door behind him. After he was gone, Nell turned to Abby, her face flushed.

"On, Abby, have you ever seen such a beautiful man?" She dramatically put a hand to her heart as if she was going to faint.

"You must mean Adam. You were shameless!" Abby said giggling. "I'm surprised you didn't pounce on him!" Abby giggled at the picture of her friend who was usually the picture of etiquette, throwing herself on the tall, dark man and their falling to the ground in a clutch of arms and legs.

Nell threw herself backwards on the bed, and pushed the boxes beside her on the floor. "Do you think he noticed, Abby? That I was flirting with him, that is. I've never been very good at it but I wanted to let him know that I found him so attractive. Oh, Abby—I'm in love!" Nell hugged herself and closed her eyes, smiling at the thought of the intriguing man she had just met.

Abby sat down on the bed beside her friend, her face now serious. "Nell, you're engaged to Vincent. Remember?"

Nell threw her arms over her head and sighed. "Engagements can be broken."

"You can't be serious? Your wedding is in two months. The ceremony has been arranged, the banns written, the food ordered, your trousseau bought, and the ship passage secured for your honeymoon. Why all the invitations have been sent out and answered—over a hundred people are coming. Nell, Adam Cartwright may be handsome and charming and he was certainly smitten by you but remember, Vincent is handsome too and wealthy—and he adores you."

Nell sat up. "Oh, Abby, but Adam is like a dangerous pirate! I want Adam Cartwright to deflower me—to take me, to…what was that phrase from that cheap novel? Oh, yes, to stab me between the legs with his engorged manhood! I've never felt like this before-ever. Just the thought of him makes me moist. And if Adam doesn't want to marry me, well, I know that women take lovers as men do—I've heard some of the gossip-so I can still marry Vincent and have Adam as well."

Abby stood up, shocked. "Is that what you want—to be the subject of gossip? To shame Vincent so that you can have Adam Cartwright as a lover? He's so much older than you. He's probably been with hundreds of women and knows things that we can't even imagine. No telling what he would do to you."

"Yes," Nell said, her face flushed, her breathing shallow. "Oh, think of it, Abby, the things he knows that he could do to a woman—to me. Oh, Abby, he makes me wanton. I've never really wanted to fall on my back for any man until now, until him. Oh, Abby, did you see his mouth and his shoulders! I would imagine he could move me around on the bed…kiss me with that mouth everywhere on my body—oh, I don't think I can bear it!" Nell sighed heavily and closed her eyes, imagining rapture.

"Nell!' Abby said grabbing her friend by the upper arms. "Think about what you're saying. Don't start something you'll regret."

Nell turned serious and looked sadly at her friend. "Oh, Abby, I'm so afraid that if I don't act now, I'll lose out on him. I don't feel the same way about Vincent as I do about Adam. I thought that that was the way it was with love—you, know, just enjoying kissing and being pleasant and such. I mean I know that love isn't really like it is in those novels we've read; women don't actually faint after intercourse because it's so…ecstatic! But, Abby, I'm still excited over meeting him. He made my heart stop—I swear it."

"Don't make a big mistake, Nell. Forget about Adam Cartwright. He may be handsome but what do you know about him? Nothing. You don't know how he treats women. Maybe he'd just use you and then toss you aside and then, well, no one would want you—you'd be unmarriageable having lost your virtue. You've made one of the best matches in Sacramento, Nell."

Nell sighed and her shoulders dropped and a certain sadness overtook her. "I know you're right." Abby let go of her friend's shoulders. Nell smiled wanly. "Of course, I don't know Adam at all. He may be a bounder and a cad—he's handsome enough to be callous to women. He probably has left a line of weeping women behind him—all with broken hearts and maybe even swollen bellies."

"That's right," Abby said. "But I tell you what; I love you and care so much about your happiness that I'll sacrifice my own virtue to Adam Cartwright to save you from the dishonor. And I'll tell you all about it—and if I fainted!" The two giggled like young girls.

"You're so noble, Abby." Nell said laughing. She stood up and sighed. "Now let's look again at what I bought." And Nell picked a package up and placing it on the bed, pulled off the string. She opened it and pulled out a shimmering negligee and held it up.

Abby made a sound of admiration. "Oh, Vincent will love that on you—or off you!" And they giggled again but Nell was thinking how Adam Cartwright would react if he could see her in the sheer, flimsy piece of silk. And she felt an ache in her low belly that she didn't recognize as desire.

After Abby left, Nell paced her bedroom; she couldn't stop thinking of the man she had met in the parlor. You're a stupid fool. Why would he want you? Nell stopped in front of her large vanity mirror. She knew she was pretty—some people said beautiful and she knew that Adam Cartwright thought she was. It had shown in his eyes, the way he looked at her, smiled at her. Or did she just imagine it because she wanted to see it?