Being taught the rules of being a host
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or Ouran High School Host Club
Authors note: Thanks to any new favorites and followers! Also thanks *banzai* for the reviews. J It makes my day.
On the next day they met the host club back at the music room.
Upon arrival they had opened the doors to … An Arabian Paradise!
Dressed in outfits reminiscent of Alabasta, Tamaki was outfitted a desert king's outfit and had several other's in hand. He made his way toward the Straw Hat group and passed each member an outfit suited to its wearer.
Chopper was handed a camel suit which would normally be used for a dog. The boys were in similar wear to their Alabasta robes and the ladies were given outfits that covered more skin to suit school.
The girls were given free rein to do what they wanted. The boys were required to learn to act as a host. Nami was sticking close to Kyoya, much to Sanji's discontent, to use her marketing skills to keep busy and learn how to make more money. Who knows? She could use these skills to make money once they got back home. Robin had just made herself comfortable with a cup of coffee and a book at one of the tables nearby.
Tamaki then started his "lessons on how to be a host."
"Here are the roles that were chosen for you," he began, "the green haired one, Zoro was it?" After a nod he went on, "You will be like our Mori-san, the stoic, quiet, manly type."
Zoro gave a short nod to indicate that he would tolerate that role.
"You, the blonde cook," Tamaki said pointing toward Sanji, "will make snacks for the ladies and control any unseemly behavior." He said with a glare. He had not yet let go of the fact that this common ruffian had dared flirting with his Haruhi (daughter). "Also," he added, "No smoking."
He turned to Usopp next, "While your face is not exactly up to par with the rest of us, I sense a cowardly-liar within that will catch the eye of some of our ladies. Keep them busy telling stories or if no one asks after you then just clean up around here."
"In other words I'm your janitor?" Usopp said offended.
"Yes." Tamaki showed Brook to the piano. "I have heard you are a musician. I will ask you to play for the ladies. Make sure you keep your sunglasses on so as not to frighten them with the empty sockets in your face. And you never ask a lady to see their panties!"
The twins had brought a completed synthetic skin which made Brook look normal and "alive" except for his eyes. A nose and mouth were created so with sunglasses on you could not tell anything was amiss.
Franky, forced into a great deal of clothing since they had arrived, was told to act like a "mecha" or "gundam" fan which would draw otakus.
Last, but never least, was Luffy. "Captain," Tamaki said, "I will teach you host skills and we will wait and watch before putting you in a category. You would normally be put in a goofy yet caring role but I think there is more to you than that."
The first thing that Tamaki brought over was a glass. "Watch closely now. When you put your glass down, cushion it with your pinky, you eliminate the harsh sound while showing more grace. Observe, don't I look classy?"
Most watched him with blank, uninterested eyes. Luffy however said, "Cool!"
Tamaki then continued with, "Gazing up from below can be an effective diffuser, especially for you lot. If you don't understand something that they are speaking of then you need to implement this skill."
Hunny had settled at a table nearby and asked Chopper to join him since he didn't need to learn any of this. Before the ladies arrived, he figured he could have a bite of cake. They were discussing different sweets to find out if there were different ones available between their worlds.
The twins went over to Zoro and Sanji and teased that they could try a version of their way of doing things. When asked what they meant, they broke into evil grins and dropped into character.
"Kaoru, you're not hurt are you?" Hikaru remarked while holding up Kaoru's hand which had a mysteriously appearing bandage. He placed a kiss on the injury as if to heal it.
No Hikaru," Kaoru replied with tears in his eyes, "I'm fine now that I'm here with you."
The twins turned to the victims of there teasing and found shocked and stunned faces that caused them to snicker.
"The love that is forbidden is a heady one," they said at once, "and two is always better than one."
Zoro and Sanji exchanged embarrassed looks before turning in opposite directions and walking off without a word. They found themselves thinking, "And these guys called US strange?"
Tamaki, back with Luffy, was still going on, "The club's motto is to be strong, distinguished and elegant."
He was interrupted from continuing by a loud electronic noise coming from a section of the floor that was now rising.
"Ahahahaha!" Renge came swirling up from nowhere. "Who's this?" She asked. "These are new faces." She walked over to Luffy and grabbed his cheek stretching it out. As she peered at each new face she proclaimed, "A rubber man, a three sword style swordsman, a coward (Hey!), an undead musician, a reindeer doctor, navigator, historian, and…. A girl crazy pervert cook."
Then she turned to Franky and got sparkles in her eyes while yelling, "Mecha man shipwright!"
All jaws dropped (Luffy's considerably farther). How?
Sanji was busy yelling at Zoro who was laughing while repeatedly wheezing, "pervert cook." Sanji went over to Renge and grabbed a hand bringing it to his lips.
"Madmoiselle, forgive this barbarian," he said glaring at Zoro, "I assure you I am no pervert."
To which he got a smack in the face.
"Don't touch me!" Renge yelled. "You remind me of my least favorite game character, Frances the evil!"
Sanji was stunned anew and confused at this lingo.
Kyoya spoke up from a side table where him and Nami had been commiserating over idiot captains and inflation of prices.
"Renge is an otaku. That is someone who likes and dislikes others based on her feelings about characters from books, movies, and video games. She does not see you as Sanji the cook but as Frances the evil game character."
Sanji was scared of a woman for the first time in his life and decided that she was one woman he wouldn't fawn over.
Chopper had settled next to Zoro when Renge had shown up. "She's so scary!" he had thought. Renge watched as Zoro brought down one hand to pat Chopper on the head comfortingly. She moseyed over toward the two and said,
"Oh-ho, so you are also a stoic type with a lovely item?"
"What's that?" Chopper's quavering voice warbled from behind Zoro's leg.
"Let me answer that." Tamaki chimed in. "Sure, your green haired companion may look mean and frosty at first glance but place your reindeer doctor under his arm or on his shoulders and now he looks like a gentle bear adored by small animals."
The crew turned to look at Zoro and Chopper, a suspicion building in their eyes.
On Tamaki went, "This idea goes well with Zoro's silent nature. He doesn't even have to talk! Just put Chopper by his side and all the sudden he seems open-minded. Instead of seeming uncommunicative, he's seen in a positive light. He now looks modest. All according to plan."
Mori was turning green remembering the last time Tamaki spouted off this process, except with Hunny and his names in the explanation instead of the Straw Hat crewmates. Hunny shot a glare toward him now like he was also having a flashback.
Chopper turned to Zoro with crocodile tears in his eyes and cried, "You've been using me?!"
While Zoro was busy motioning a negative to Chopper's cries, the rest of the crew exchanged looks and at the same time remarked that, "It makes sense."
Chopper looked toward Zoro and cried some more.
"That's not…."Zoro started, "I don't…" Then he glared at Tamaki with his battlefield demon glare and growled, "Idiot! Don't put strange ideas in his head. I'd never use him like that."
Chopper, who was listening, knew that Zoro didn't lie and so accepted his statement and went back to eating cake.
"Would you like to hold Usa-Chan?" Hunny asked.
Chopper reached out and took the bunny, hugging it to his chest to help him calm down. "Thanks," he said in a small voice.
A few moments later everyone got into place to start receiving the ladies. Kyoya had explained that they now had IDs and that he had signed them in as visiting foreign exchange students for however long their stay lasted. They would be welcome to attend classes or just come around for club.