He jumped in his jeep and set off towards his Manhattan apartment, spirits slightly raised with hope with what a new day would bring. Tomorrow, he would grab the paper and set off to the hospital, just like he had done for the previous three days. He would sit with Olivia until they kicked him out and then he would do it again the next day. He wouldn't abandon her. Not now, not after everything they had been through together. He would be patient and wait for her to come back to him.

When Elliot walked into Olivia's room the next morning carrying a bouquet of flowers, she was sitting up in bed and looking out the window. He stopped in the door way and watched her for a few moments before clearing his throat. She didn't turn her head or show any signs of hearing him at all.

Elliot approached her bed slowly and set the bouquet of pink and yellow lilies on the side table. "I thought these might brighten up the room bit." He said, sitting gently next to Olivia. She still hadn't turned her head but she reached her hand out and brushed the side of his with her finger tips. He grasped her hand in both of his and brought it up to his lips, kissing it gently several times.

"Olivia. Look at me, babe." Elliot whispered.

She didn't react. Elliot stood up and moved around to the other side of the bed so that he could see Olivia's face. Tears were streaming down her face. Elliot gently raised both his hands and framed her face, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. "I love you, Olivia." he whispered, kissing her tear-soaked cheeks over and over again. "I love you so much."

Olivia took in a sharp breath and then let out a shudder. She forced herself to pull her eyes towards the man sitting in front of her and when their eyes met, she could no longer contain her emotions. Olivia collapsed into her partner's arms, sobbing and shaking. Elliot stroked her back gently, tears falling down his face too. He had been so focused on Olivia after his children were safe and sound at home that he hadn't stopped to process that it was over; his children, Kathy, and Olivia were safe.

Elliot pulled Olivia back so he could look at her. "Liv, baby, what's wrong? They're safe. Everyone is safe."

"It's my fault, Elliot. You heard him. He was after me. I could have put an end to this from the very beginning and Lizzie and Dickie would not have had to suffer." Olivia began crying again. "El, they're so little. They're just babies! This shouldn't have happened."

"Liv, there was no way for you to know what Greg was after or even who he was!" Elliot said, trying desperately to make her understand that she was not to blame.

A knock on the door interrupted them. Captain Cragen stood in the doorway, his face was sullen and concerned. "He's right, Olivia. There was no way you could have known."

"...but you did. Didn't you?" Olivia was suddenly beginning to put the pieces together. She had accepted that Elliot wanted her with his children but she had felt from the beginning that there was more to why they were keeping her away from this case. Now she was starting to realize she was right. "Tell me, Captain, tell me you didn't keep this from me."

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I didn't know any other way to keep you safe."

Olivia threw her head back on pillow and closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Liv." Elliot whispered.

"You too?" Olivia answered, her voice gravelly and hoarse.

"He was under my direct orders, Olivia. I couldn't risk losing you." Cragen had stepped further into the room but stopped, wanting to give Olivia some space.

"Where is he?" Olivia asked, after a few moments of silence.

"In the tombs." Cragen answered.

"I want to see him." Olivia said, voice flat and unemotional now. Her demeanor had shifted and Elliot recognized that she had her protective walls firmly in place. He just hoped it wasn't an attempt to keep him out.

"Olivia..." Cragen began.

"Captain, I said I want to see him. He's my half brother. I have a right to speak with him." Olivia glared at Cragen.

"I'll go with you." Elliot said quietly.

"No."

Olivia checked out of the hospital that afternoon and allowed Elliot to drive her home since the squad car was still in Albany. She didn't say a word to him as they left the hospital and drove the Manhattan streets to her apartment.

As the pulled into her parking garage, Olivia began gathering her bags from the back seat. Once they were parked, she hopped out of the jeep and shut the door behind her. Elliot had to jog to catch up with her.

"Olivia, hey. Wait a sec. Let me carry that for you." Elliot said, catching up to her.

Olivia stopped suddenly and turned to face him. "Go home, Elliot. Go home to your children and your wife. They need you." She turned quickly on her heels and continued to walk.

"Olivia Benson! Stop right now!" Elliot's tone was stern and commanding. He had never spoken to Olivia this way before. She paused but then shook her head and continued to walk.

Elliot jogged to catch up again and this time put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I said, 'go home,' Elliot, and I meant it." Olivia said, not looking at him but choosing to fixate on the garage floor instead. Elliot spun her around gently and lifted her chin so she had to meet his eyes. Her gaze was guarded and lifeless, walls firmly in place. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and inhaled sharply, waiting for him to speak.

"Liv, please. Let's talk this through. What's going on? Why are you shutting me out? Elliot's eyes were desperate and pleading.

"Because I need you to go. Leave me alone, Elliot." Olivia's tone was sharp but her voice shook.

"No, Olivia. You don't get to do this. You don't get to just walk away without explanation. I've sat by your side for the last three days waiting for you to wake up. I deserve better than this.

Olivia exhaled. "That's why I need you to go. You're too close. You're family is too close. This shit storm is only going to get worse. What happens when someone actually gets killed because of me or my family? I can't hurt you anymore."

"The only place I'm going is up to your apartment so we can talk about this delusional idea you have in your head that somehow this is all your fault."

Elliot took her arm gently and began to walk again.

"No, Elliot." She ripped her arm away forcefully. "I'm going upstairs but I'm going alone. Please. Please, don't follow me. I need time and space from this." She motioned back and forth in between them.

Elliot stood helpless in the middle of the parking garage watching his partner walk away from him, pain and sorrow weighing down her shoulders.

Olivia walked the four flights of stairs to her apartment and pushed the door open. She shrugged out of her coat and threw it haphazardly onto the couch. She walked to the bathroom and peeled off the remainder of her clothes. After turning the shower water to as hot as it would go, she stood for a moment, gazing at herself in the mirror. She examined every line, curve, crevasse, and crease. He was everywhere, all over her body. He was under her skin, crawling through her blood, fusing himself to her muscles, settling his blackness on her soul. The same blood that runs through her veins ran through the veins of a serial rapist, two if you count her half-brother Sam, and now a child abductor had also claimed the title of "family member."

Olivia broke out into a cold sweat and wretched violently into the sink. Naked and dry heaving, Olivia's skin prickled with her self-disgust. She straightened herself up and stood, entranced once again by her own reflection until steam covered the mirror and tears blurred her vision.

She climbed into the scorching shower and scrubbed her body furiously until it was raw and aching. She shampooed her hair, shaved her legs, and then scrubbed again until the water ran cold. She stood under the freezing tap watching the swirl of water rush down the drain, failing to take the sick feeling in her stomach with it.

Climbing out slowly, Olivia grabbed a towel and wrapped herself tightly. She walked from her bathroom straight to her bed and after dropping the towel on the floor, she climbed under the covers, naked, exposed, and trembling.

Olivia awoke a few hours later, freezing but rested. She climbed out of bed, feeling a little better than she had earlier. She internally chastised herself for her own weakness and pulled on her underwear and a pair of jeans. She found a gray v-neck sweater in her closet and shrugged into that too. She zipped on a pair of heeled boots and walked into the bathroom to apply her armor of makeup. Once her eyeliner, shadow, and lipstick had been applied, she threw her hair in a messy bun, grabbed her coat, keys, gun, and badge and headed out the door without a second thought to where she was headed.

Cragen was expecting her.

Olivia barreled through the doors of the Manhattan jail, heels clicking with purpose on the polished cement, and almost ran head on into her boss.

"What are you doing here, Olivia?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Olivia challenged, tilting her head and crossing her arms against her chest.

"I had to file paperwork. Not that I need to justify my being here. You, on the other hand, were released from the hospital this morning. You're not back on active duty, and you have no suspects in the tombs. You wouldn't be trying to interfere in an open case, would you?

"Sir, I want to talk to him." Olivia said, sternly.

"I know, Olivia. But you can't. I cannot let you mess this case up for the prosecution."

"Sir, he's family. I have a right to talk to him."

"You need to work your definition of 'family.' Besides that, there is no way I'm letting you go near him when you have your service weapon on you." Cragen gestured to her belt holster.

"You honestly think I would shoot an unarmed man? I'm not like him, Don."

"I know that Olivia, and I trust you. I don't, however, trust your partner and his anger management issues right now." Cragen nodded in the direction of the doors behind her.

Olivia turned around to see Elliot walking quickly towards her, the tails of his tan trench coat flailing behind him.

She sighed and rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" Olivia asked, annoyed.

Elliot shrugged. "Same as you."

"Elliot." Cragen sighed. "I am not letting you see him either. What is it with you two? I will not let you fuck up the prosecution's case! Now go!"

Olivia shot a icy stare at Elliot and then turned on her heels and walked swiftly towards the door.

After she had gone, Cragen turned to Elliot, voice gentler and asked "Okay, what is going on with you two? I have never seen Olivia give that look to anyone besides a perp."

"I wish I knew, Don. I wish I knew."

Elliot shook his head and walked out of the jail. He contemplated turning left and walking to Olivia's apartment but turned right instead and began the trek back to his apartment alone.