Don't Miss Your Life
"Don't let such precious moments pass. We all know time goes way too fast. Hold on tight 'cause it don't happen twice
Don't miss your life." Finn Hudson has a successful life as as business man to his father's company a somewhat exhausting demanding job which requires him to be away a lot. One day he gets the chance to realize his job isn't as important as missing on his own life.
A/N: sorry it's been so long guys! I really don't have an excuse! I do hope you enjoy this second to last chapter of the story.
I don't own Glee.
Chapter 8:
Finn was way over his head. He'd gone back to teaching which in reality meant more expenses and less money. Yes, he loved his job but he'd lay awake at night thinking how to make ends mean. His mother's insurance had proved to be extremely helpful, even though it killed him to see she'd rather use it to help them than to be there for Chris, well she really was there for him too, but either way Finn felt like crap. Sure, he'd married and had a kid at 19 and somehow had made it work even though Cory was a very delicate child, he had somehow survived college and having three more children, and yet the fact of not being able to care for them the right way killed him.
"Finn?" Rachel arrived home on a warm September night, she'd class at 8 and he'd been there to tuck the kids in.
"In here!" He called.
"Hey." She said softy, Finn was on the bed going through his computer. He'd wear these half-moon glasses now, mostly during the night and it made him look adorable, but she saw nothing but exhaustion on Finn's eyes. "How was today?"
"Good, normal I guess." He added in as she joined him on the bed. "Dad has a final chemo next week and then we, the doctor said we'd just have to wait to see if it worked." He let out. Rachel moved closer and began to caress his short hair. Finn closed his eyes at the simple touch. "I hope he gets out of this Rach, I mean, he survived a war, life has a cruel sick way to pay one back." There's nothing but bitterness in his voice.
"There's always a silver lighting at the end of every storm Finn, and your dad is strong, he'll pull trough. And so will we."
And yet, crap kept falling on them. Chris's treatment took a toll on his health and he ended up with respiratory problems. He took the kids to see him a couple times a few weeks after the prognosis because he might not make it out of this and he wanted him to make the most out of this. Funny, when you are sick, every minute seemed to count.
"What's with the face Finn? You look like you seen a ghost..." His dad said one afternoon. It's almost time for Chris's birthday, which is a blessing given all the crap that's been going on.
"I'm fine." He sipped on his beer as they watched a football game. The kid Finn had signed on his last month at the company was playing.
"That's not being fine." He commented turning off the volume on the TV. His dad wasn't the one to talk much, he preferred quiet understanding, which was the reason he'd always had a problem with his emotional child. "Wanna talk about it?" Now that he thought of it, he should have said yes, he should have let it all out. And yet something had held him back.
"I think we should have a big party." Rachel said one weekend.
"No, not big parties. I don't need pity from more people than the ones required." He said sternly.
"Then who should we invite?" His wife asked. Chris didn't have an answer that much Finn knew.
It was a nice December afternoon as the Hudson clan gathered in the grandparent's backyard to celebrate Chris.
"What are you thinking?" Rachel said leaning her body against Finn, she melted against his touch as he wrapped his arms around her. They would watch as Carole spoke to a few of her friends and Chris entertained the children, with Hannah gigging in his lap.
"About... This could be his last Christmas..." Finn spoke grimly. With two weeks left until the actual event, the weight of his words echoed inside Rachel, it was a hard reality to grasp, and yet she was determined not to give up hope, but the state in which Finn found his father told otherwise, his once veteran hero father was now in a wheelchair, the extents of the cancer and the consequences of whatever it entailed had been too much. He had been given 6 months tops.
"You don't know that." His wife spoke softly. Having a special needs child, like Cory Rachel had learned to cherish every moment she could, and even though Chris had not been her number one fan, having given the fact she'd forced Finn to move to New York with her after Cory, well not forced him but he'd said it so, he was her family and Finn's dad nevertheless so it pained her to see such a strong man so affected.
"Who are you kidding?" The icy tone made her shiver. He pulled away from her, and she let him.
But who were they really kidding? Christmas came and it was one of the tensest moments in Finn's life. They had returned to Lima so they could be with Rachel's dads as well. Being back at his childhood home only made it more real for Finn and Carole as well. Not a lot of people knew this, but Carole and Chris had had gotten married for the same reason Rachel and him had, yes, they loved each other but circumstances had made it a bit rushed. That had first sent young Chris down at the spiral of what his life came to be. He and Carole had been young when she had become pregnant, and they were still too young for what life had in store for them when they had lost their first child, a boy they would name Cory but never had a chance to see grow up, a boy who would later have a little brother. But damage had already been made when Finn had come along and even though Chris loved him dearly his relationship had been a tricky one. And yet as Finn watched from afar that Christmas as how his son spoke excitedly about Christmas and Santa, Finn was grateful of having Chris smile, he caught his father looking at him. The two of them shared a knowing look and a smile.
"That thing could kill you." Came Finn's voice as he found Chris alone in the kitchen with a cigarette, known for his habits being younger, Chris smile.
"It's totally worth it kid." His father said. Finn rolled his eyes. They remained silent for a moment as Finn leaned against the kitchen sink. "Drink with me." He heard his dad say as he moved his chair to reach for two glasses and a whiskey bottle, Finn knew he'd stashed. Finn's eyes were suspicious as he took the glass. "Special year, 1994." Finn felt a lump forming on his throat. "That was a great year," he smiled coyly. "Help me will you?" Finn poured the two glasses and a small clash of the glass was the only thing heard for a moment.
"Dad..." Finn said after a moment. He didn't know what to say, this was too much for him to be able to handle. He suddenly felt like that 15 Year old boy, lost and torn between his love for music and his desire to live up to parent expectation.
"You take care of your mother." He said, even though he wasn't old, he clearly sounded like one of those western movie guys Finn used to watch growing up. "Don't let her dwell on stuff top much, women tend to do so often." Finn smiled. "I know I never approved as to whatever you were thinking when the time came for you to grow up." Oh god, earth swallow him now, this was sounding a lot like a goodbye. "I never wanted you to make the same mistakes I did growing up, I never did wanted you to live under that amount of pressure. And yet, you somehow made it impossible not to make my same mistakes." Here we go again. "I am proud of what you did in spite of it." Chris continued. He was talking about becoming a teen parent and marrying so young, "And I might not have liked some of it, but you made good for yourself, you found a good girl and you set your mind on doing a better job than the one I did, I sure as hell wasn't the best dad out there and it haunts me, it really does, but you my boy, are one of the best, and you never let anyone, not even me, tell you otherwise." Finn's eyes were glistening, god, this was goodbye.
He took his glasses off, sniffing as Chris drank what was left on his glass. "Now you promise me you'll never let that go Finn, no matter what happens, hold on to that heart of yours. Because truth be told, the world needs more hearts like that one."
Night fell and so did the expectations of the next morning. Finn carried Chris up the stairs to the main bedroom, followed closely by the girls.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," he told them. Unlike anything he'd done before now that Finn was a grown man, Chris brushed his thumb over his son's face as he laid him down. "Merry Christmas Finn."
"Merry Christmas dad."
Later, there in his childhood room, with Rachel's face on his chest, Finn felt like his lungs were compressing as he cried, literally like a child who'd had nothing left in this world, like a small boy who craved for some love to be given, Rachel brushed his sweaty cheeks as tears fell. "Shh..." She kissed his jaw, and Finn's body relaxed under her touch. "Baby, it will be okay, you'll see..."
"How?" He asked, full of vulnerability, like when he'd found out he had not made it to Ohio State during his senior year of School. "How am I supposed to feel? I tried my best to run away from him Rachel, to pull away from the man I thought I'd become and now, he's going to die and I have this feeling that I could have done better, I could have tried to make things right. "
"I... I know it feels like that now, Like you want to blame yourself for your strained relationship with him, but it's not all on you. You two made a choice and all you have now is time, time to make it right."
"I'm running out of time." He said frustrated moving to sit on the bed, he was soaked in sweat and tears. She touched his arm slightly but he didn't move or recognized her. She left him be though, he moved into the bathroom.
she heard the water running as silence was all heard all around, she hoped this didn't cause the kids to wake up, but she didn't have the energy to consider that possibility as she heard a muffled sound. It sounded like sobs.
Her hand shook as she opened the bathroom door. Finn was inside the shower, dressed at his fullest as water poured down on him, he knelt against the tiles, his head down as he cried. And she held him, getting herself drenched in the process, he began to sob in her arms as she cradled his head.
"I don't want him to die Rach, I won't have time to say I'm sorry..." He was begging and she wasn't sure if she could give him what he wanted.
"Of course you will." She spoke softly kissing his forehead. "You'll tell him tomorrow, what's the best moment if not right now?" She asked him sweetly.
She had no idea how long they had stayed like that, just her offering comfort and him feeling it. Finally they changed and moved back on the bed, where exhaustion took the best of them.
Okay I was going to keep it up with the chapter but I thought I'll leave that for the last chapter and then the epilogue. Thank you so much for reading, and if you shed a tear or two I wouldn't blame you, as I did too.:')