XXI

Adam had met with the Delaware's and shown them his suggestions for materials. He advised them not to line the fireplace with marble as they had wanted. "It's too hard to clean. Now if all you want is a fireplace and mantle just for show, fine." They had discussed a furnace below the house that could be kept stoked in the winter and the heat could be piped into the rooms. "There would still be soot where the heat rises from the floor vents so think carefully about what you want," Adam had advised. Jess sat in on the meeting but just listened; his mind seemed elsewhere.

That morning, Adam had told Jess that he was going back to Nevada, would stay until the New Year and then return. Jess had said that he had hoped that in case something went wrong with Bee whose feet and legs were so swollen that mere walking was uncomfortable, Adam would be there to run the business but now he wouldn't. So Jess worried all through the meeting about what he could do, would be able to do if something happened. He couldn't leave things in young Billy James' hands. After the Delawares left very happy with the choice of materials for their new house, Jess told Adam that they needed to talk privately. Adam closed the door to the front of the shop where Bill James sat trying to type of a proposal.

"Adam, I'm going to have to close the shop or at least keep it to half days while you're gone. Bee…well, I haven't told you how bad she feels. I'm really worried about her. The baby's not due until mid to late January but she may not be able to hold out that long."

"I'm sorry, Jess. Of course, close up, go to half days, whatever you think best. I leave it up to you—I won't complain."

"No, you wouldn't complain because you don't rely on the money that comes in as much as I do. You forget, Adam, I don't come from a wealthy family. And now I'll have to support a child too and Bee won't be earning a paycheck either. I mean I know we just paid her little but it was something for her to buy things she needed for herself and for the baby." Jess turned his back to Adam as he felt himself overcome with emotion

"I'm sorry, Jess. I didn't think. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Adam, that's just it," Jess said, his hands out imploringly. "All you think about is Nell. You spoil her and indulge her and she's turned your life upside down. She was supposed to take over Bee's job but in the last minute you decided, no. You never discussed it with me, never asked me if it was all right and now Billy James has to do everything that Bee had done and we have to add his original chores to ours and with you taking off for three weeks, well, I'll have to do all of it!"

"I'm sorry, Jess. I…it's just that Nell, well…."

"You worry about Nell and I worry about Bee. The doctor is monitoring her because she might develop…I forget what it's called—"pre" something or the other, and she might need to have the baby cut out to be delivered early. I'm worried sick about bills and this job of the Delawares and now this morning two more commissions came in and they both have to be written up and… and….I feel I'm losing my mind here and all you care about is going back to Nevada to fuck your wife while mine might…die." A sob caught in Jess' throat.

Adam waited, considering what to say. "You're right, Jess. I'm sorry. I could write you a check, a Christmas gift of a few hundred and then…"

"I don't want your money, Adam!" Jess turned on him. "There's more to things than just money. I don't understand what it is about you and Nell. I just don't but whatever it is, it's interfering with our business. Instead of your going to Nevada, why don't you just have Nell sent home? I mean I understand about your family being there and Christmas coming and all, but really, Adam—things can't go on this way. I need you here. We're partners, remember?"

Adam stood and looked at Jess. The man was in danger of losing his wife and Adam had been so self-involved that he had failed to notice the seriousness of the situation. Jess was correct and he knew it. He would go and fetch Nell—a total of a week's time. Maybe he would pack up a wagon and drive her home himself, avoiding the stage and hopefully, Nell's nausea. And he wanted to tell Jess about Nell and the flowers and his suspicions and why he had been behaving the way he had but his cautious, suspicious nature prevailed; maybe it was Jess who had sent the flowers. Jess seemed to want Nell back home, wanted Nell to work in the office. Was it so they could carry on under his nose or was it that Nell truly didn't know who sent the flowers and Jess was waiting for the right time to declare his love for her? And then Adam was ashamed of himself. Jess had never been anything but honest and supportive and Adam had always sensed that Jess loved Bee and she loved him. Adam could well understand Jess' worries about Bee's health and the baby; he could lose his wife or even both her and the child.

"You're right, Jess. I've only been concerned about…I'm sorry. It's probably best if Nell comes home but like I told you, the stage ride made her ill. I've seen some passengers get queasy but nothing like Nell. She was still nauseated the day after we arrived at the Ponderosa and was still a bit ill when I left. I can't have her put on a stage by herself—it would be too callous."

Jess seemed chagrined. "I'm sorry, Adam. All that just came out—I've just been so worried. I've been feeling sorry for myself, I guess and this morning, well, Bee was so lethargic and didn't want anything to eat. I've been waiting on her hand and foot and I wrote her sister but she can't come out yet to help. I just don't know what to do. If he has to take the baby, the doctor says he has to cut her open and there's still the chance that things may not go well. I just…"

Adam put his hand on Jess' shoulder. "Don't worry about the business—you have enough to concern you as it is." Jess smiled wanly. "I'll go fetch Nell," Adam continued. "She should be home—you're right. I'll be gone about a week and a half. If any longer, I'll wire you. Close the shop for half-days; it'll give you more time to spend at home and don't worry about bills. We're partners and Bee is dear to me so don't worry about money. Just name the baby Adam if it's a boy."

Jess smiled. "Okay, I'll name it Adam but if it looks like you as well then we have another problem." And they laughed, reconciled. Adam's heart lightened. All was well here and Nell would be coming home. He had decided what was to be done.

"Go home, Jess. Since I'll be leaving early tomorrow, I'll stay late today and when you arrive in the morning and see all that I've accomplished, you'll say what a great son-of-a-bitch I am."

"Thanks, Adam. Since I've already been calling you a son-of-a-bitch already under my breath, I'll be sure to add the 'great' to it. " Jess went to the store room in the back and brought out his hat and heavy coat. The he stopped before he went out. "I am sorry, Adam, about all the things I said. I guess I'm the one who's been so self-centered, only thinking of my own troubles. Tell your father and brothers hello for me and kiss Nell. Have a nice trip and maybe, just maybe, you'll have a new godson when you get back." Jess put on his hat and coat and left and Adam stood at the window and watched Jess break into a slow trot in his hurry to get home. Adam wondered what he would do if Nell was in the same condition as Bee. And Adam knew that he would be going mad with fear under those conditions.

As evening fell, Adam sent Billy James home. "You can finish tomorrow. I'll be gone for about a little over a week. Sorry about all the slack you'll have to pick up. Anyway, Jess'll open in the morning but if something happens and Bee has the baby or such and the shop isn't open by eight, go home and try again later. If you need me at some time and Jess is busy, wire me at the Ponderosa, Virginia City, Nevada. I'll get it."

As much as he wanted to leave for the day, Billy James was reluctant to leave. "I can stay longer, Mr. Cartwright. I haven't finished typing that contract yet."

"It'll wait. Go home. I'll be leaving in a few minutes myself."

Billy James left and after adding a few more touches to the final blueprint, Adam decided he would go. He stood and realized how sore and tight his back was. He stretched to loosen it up and then, putting on his hat and jacket, he turned down the lamps and considering that soon they might have gas lights, he locked the door. It was rapidly becoming darker and the streets were basically empty as most people were home for dinner, their families waiting to greet them. His acute loneliness hit him again. He passed a jeweler and glanced in the window and then stopped. In a satin-lined box was a brooch of flowers-roses. Adam knocked on the glass door, ignoring the "Closed" sign as he saw someone standing at a counter writing in a ledger, more than likely counting the day's sales.

The man looked up and then walked to the door and motioned to the sign. Adam nodded but then loudly said, "I would like to buy this." He pointed to the brooch.

The older man opened the door. "I'm closed, young man. Can you come back tomorrow?"

"I'm leaving tomorrow and I would like to buy that brooch for my wife for a Christmas present. I know she would like it. I'll pay you extra for your time." The man considered and then he opened the door and allowed Adam entrance. "Thank you," Adam said.

The man went to the widow after ascertaining it was the brooch Adam wanted to see, and lifted out the box and then turned up the lamp on the counter. He handed the box to Adam who slid the brooch out of the satin pillow on which it rested and looked at it closely.

"It's from England," the jeweler said, "9 karat gold. The center of the roses are pearls and the bow around the bouquet is made of garnets, each one individually set. It's fine work—good craftsmanship. See how well balanced it is and the gentle curve of the stems. The garnets which are the heaviest are at the bottom to keep it straight but it's not so heavy it will pull on any fabric. I wouldn't recommend it being pinned to silk or satin—no pin should be but these are usually worn at the neck or on a lapel"

"How much?"

"Well, now, for the brooch, $35.00, but you had said…"

"Yes, I said I'd pay more-$40.00—the five is for your time and the extra bookkeeping. Do we have a sale?"

"Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Just come this way."

A few minutes later, Adam was walking home feeling lighter in his soul. He would apologize to Nell and give her the brooch as a token of his love. She could wear eternal roses and know that his love for her was eternal as well. He smiled thinking of how pleased she would be. All would be well and he would bring Nell home.