Some readers may not approve of the ending or want more but I feel that the story is finished. It was about a triangle and now it is resolved to a great degree. I don't care for fairy tale endings and try to present things in a realistic light-except when writing a fantasy or an AU.

Thanks to those of you followed the story and hope that you find the ending at least intriguing. And our boy, Adam, may have quite an exciting life ahead with Nell!

XXV

After being home almost a week, Nell sat in her favorite chair and took up her needlepoint. She felt peaceful and yet anxious. She stopped plying her needle, leaving it plunged in the fabric and touched the rose brooch at her throat, having pinned it at the high colored neckline of her blouse. She smiled to herself at the thought that accompanied the piece of jewelry. Then she put her hand over her abdomen. She wasn't yet showing—after all, both Dr. Martin and Dr. Champion had said she was only about ten weeks along but yet, she was amazed by all that was happening. And Adam had been endearing. He would lie with his hand on her stomach after laying with her, after being as passionate a lover as at their first encounters, and the night before he had even sung to her belly, kissing it before and after.

"…I asked her if she'd stop and talk
Stop and talk, stop and talk
Her feet covered up the whole sidewalk,
she was fair to view

I asked her if she'd stop and dance,
Have a dance, care to dance
I thought that I might get a chance
to shake a foot with her

I asked her if she'd be my wife
be my wife, be my wife
Then I'd be happy all my life
if she would marry me

I danced with the dolly with a hole in her stocking
And her feet kept a-rocking
and her knees kept a-knocking
Oh, I danced with the dolly with a hole in her stocking
And we danced by the light of the moon."

Nell, had laughed, "Now what kind of song is that to sing to a baby?"

"Thought he might want to dance in there—you know, tap his toes to the music or such, do a little jig."

"Well, he can't hear you; he's too young." she had said as she toyed with Adam's dark hair, his head resting on her bare abdomen, "and it's probably best he can't."

"Or her. It's probably a girl—a beautiful little girl."

"Maybe," Nell had said, her voice becoming wistful. "Maybe it is."

"Speaking of girls—or females—have you seen Abby since we've been back?"

"No. I sent her a note yesterday letting her know and telling her I'll pay a visit tomorrow afternoon. I need to buy a gift for her though and then we haven't yet bought any for you family. I need to buy them and mail them. They probably won't arrive by Christmas though."

"Leave it to me," Adam said as he made himself more comfortable.

"But you won't have the time. With Bee and Jess…his being so worried and your having to work so much…When would you find the time?"

"Don't worry. I'll handle it. I'll…go during lunch tomorrow and pick up a few things. You just buy for Abby. We'll give envelopes to the staff—money is always welcome."

Nell picked up her needle again and thought of Bee and how she was faring. She had gone to visit Bee the day before taking a basket filled with Mrs. Chevy's baked goods.

She had knocked and Bee's voice called her in. "I feel a bit like Little Red Riding Hood with my basket full off goodies for grandma." Bee laughed at the remark as she reclined on her sofa. Nell noted that the parlor was as pleasant as always with the bright colors and embroidered doilies on the tables but it seemed more cluttered than usual. Nell realized how fortunate she was that she had people to perform all the mundane chores; Bee had no one but herself and Jess.

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess, Nell," Bee said as she pushed herself to a sitting position which obviously took a great deal of effort. "I just haven't had the time or the energy to clean, dust. Poor, Jess has had to do everything—the cooking and washing up. I just lay here useless."

"Nonsense," Nell said. "Let me fix you a cup of tea—or coffee. What would you like?" Nell pulled off her outerwear, her hat and gloves.

"I think the kitchen is a mess and you may not be able to find the coffeepot. You probably shouldn't venture there."

"Don't worry. Now there's an apple pie and all sorts of cookies in the basket—and they're safe to eat; Mrs. Chevy baked them, not I." Nell smiled and Bee chuckled but it was easy for Nell to see Bee's lethargy—and how extremely large she was. Nell wondered if she herself would look like that after a few more months.

Nell went into the kitchen; Bee hadn't exaggerated. Pots were piled in the sink along with plates and cups and saucers and tin flatware. A fry pan with a few days' worth of congealed bacon fat sat on the stove and bacon spatter was still on the iron stove top. "I'll make coffee," Nell called out.

"Oh, thank you," Bee called. "I've been drinking Jess' coffee so I may not be able to taste any of these cookies—his coffee fries my tastes buds, it's like drinking hot kerosene."

Nell laughed but made the coffee after she found the grinder and the oily coffee beans. So, while Bee sat and munched on some of the cookies after Nell took her a napkin-one from the kitchen table that was the cleanest-and Bee placed it on her lap to catch any crumbs. After Nell washed and dried two cups and saucers and the coffee was ready, they sat in the parlor and sipped while Nell shyly told Bee that she was with child as well.

Bee was happy for her, and told Nell to pay no attention to her own condition. "As small as you are, I'm sure you won't bloat up like me. I eat all the time. I'm always hungry so you don't know how much I appreciate these goodies." And Bee smiled what she hoped was a comforting grin, not wanting to tell Nell how very unpleasant this last month of her pregnancy was, how she felt like a huge, swollen slug and could never get comfortable at night—or at any time. Nell was, in Bee's opinion, far too untried to handle all the pain and misery that came with bearing children and wondered how Adam would hold up as well. Bee thought that Adam would probably suffer as much as Nell and she wondered again at the unlikely match.

After an hour, Nell said she would have to go but she insisted, despite Bee's protestations, that she would wash the dishes and straighten out the kitchen. And while Nell had her hands in the hot water and suds, she wondered why some people's lives were so different than others. And what if she had married Vincent? How would her life be different were he her husband instead of Adam? And Nell pondered on her life and felt fortunate indeed.

"Miss," Margery said stepping into the parlor, "Miss Weems is here."

"Oh, show her in and…" but Nell said no more because Abby came into the room, smiling and the two friends hugged.

"Oh, Abby, I was going to come see you today but I'm so glad you're here now." Then, holding onto Abby's arm, Nell told Margery to bring them tea and jam sandwiches—and to use the gooseberry jam she brought back from the Ponderosa.

"Gooseberry? What in the world is that?' Abby asked, laughing as she took off her hat and gloves. The weather was warmer than usual for this time of year as the sun had shone clearly and brightly and warmed the air.

"It's this little green berry—a bit tart and it makes for the most interesting taste. Hop Sing, the Cartwright's cook, canned jars and jars of it and I'm afraid I've become addicted. He packed at leasr five jars for me to bring back. It's all I want anymore and I had sworn off jam sandwiches. But Adam says that…" Nell smiled and felt her cheeks warm.

'What?" Abby asked. "What does Adam say?" Abby's face froze. She hadn't expected Nell to be home this early. After all, Adam had left her in Nevada and returned to Sacramento by himself. Nell's note had said that she was home and hoped Abby would be at home so that she could visit on the Wednesday; she had said nothing about Adam being there as well.

Nell reached out and took Abby's hands. She smiled tentatively. "Oh, Abby, I'm with child." She blushed again and expected Abby to be excited but Abby blanched.

"What?" The word was practically a whisper.

"I'm with child. Adam says that's why I'm craving gooseberry jam." Nell noticed how odd Abby looked. "Abby what's wrong? Aren't you happy for me?"

"Well, I am—I'm just surprised, that's all. I mean you had been so long without and then I thought that you and Adam were at odds. I mean he did send you away—and so quickly that we couldn't even say goodbye to one another. When I received your note, well, I thought maybe you and he had separated. He had treated you so badly, making accusations about you and another man, mistrusting you…I even suspect he struck you."

"No, Abby. It wasn't like that. Adam's never struck me and as for the accusations—he never came out and accused me, just suspected because of the flowers and the note…" Nell saw why Abby might think what she did.

"He isn't denying the child is his, is he? It would be like him." Abby withdrew her hands and stood up.

"What do you mean, like him? Abby, what's wrong?"

Abby swung around. "I just can't believe that after all Adam's done to you, you'd stay with him." Abby sat back down and took Nell's hands in hers. "Nell. You're a wealthy woman. Your father left you so much money and then there was the sale of the house-and now, well, it's legally all Adam's. Nell, he owns you body and soul. Do you like being owned?"

"Abby, that's not the way things are…"

Margery walked in and placed the tray with the tea and sandwiches on the table. "Will there be anything else?" Margery noticed how odd the two women looked, both seemed upset.

"No. Thank you, Margery; that will be all." Nell waited until Margery left and then turned back to Abby. "You have the wrong idea about Adam. I'm sure I contributed to it by my childish complaints and whining about things—I just always expected Adam to worship me, I suppose, to lie at my feet in adoration buy he's not like that. Marriage isn't like that. While I was at the Ponderosa, I read so many books—books that portrayed a more realistic look at marriage and romance and life. They made me realize how lucky I am and how wonderful he is."

"Nell, think—really think. Don't let having this baby affect your thinking, affect your memory. You told me about your wedding night, how surprised you were with what he did. He satisfied himself, didn't he? And then when he took you like an animal, how awful it was—and that wasn't that long ago. How can you bear him? I know that when I…" Abby looked down, "when I was with Vincent…I realized how horrid it is, that what men do to women is crude and below us. Men are disgusting creatures who just use a woman's body and cause her to bear child after child until she's worn out and useless and then behaves as if he's performed the greatest act ever. And the woman risks her life and the father passes out cigars and buys drinks for his friends.. Is that what you want, Nell?"

"No but…" Nell thought of Bee, how swollen and awkward and uncomfortable she was. And Bee might also have to be slit open and have the child practically ripped from her body.

"Nell, Adam doesn't trust you. He thought you were having an affair and he sent you away. But you weren't. That was his trial and he failed. He was cruel to you and wanted to lock you away. Why do you stand for it? Leave him, Nell. You can come live with me and my mother and we can all raise the child together."

"What?" Nell was taken by surprise. She hadn't expected the conversation to take this turn.

"No one loves you as I do, Nell. No one." And Abby grabbed Nell and leaned in. She kissed Nell full on the mouth. "I love you. Nell.'

Nell pulled away. "Abby…I love you like a sister but…"

Abby was frustrated. "Can't you see, Nell? Two bouquets of flowers and Adam thought you were unfaithful, thought you had taken a lover. How much can he love you if his suspicions are roused by mere flowers? Nell, I'm the only one who truly loves you! I know you much better than he does and I love you more than he does."

Nell was stunned; she was blindsided by the turn of events. And then she had a revelation. "Abby, I never had the chance to tell you about the second bouquet. How did you know?" Abby said nothing, just swallowed deeply. "You sent them, didn't you, Nell? You wanted Adam to become suspicious of me, to perhaps leave me."

"What if I did? He doesn't deserve you. I had to show you what Adam was really like—what all men are like-jealous and possessive and domineering. I found that out with Vincent. I thought perhaps that with him, I could find out what you saw in men, that perhaps we could become closer that way but I was merely appalled—he was as much of an animal as I'm sure Adam is. But, Nell, we can be true partners, equals, and we can make a happy family—you and I and the child."

"Oh, Abby…Adam, he's…he's been wonderful to me. I think he decided to accept the child as his own no matter what he thought—but it is his. He's my husband, Abby, my partner, my friend. You're my friend."

"He'll hurt you, Nell." Abby reached out and touched Nell's cheek.

Nell took Abby's hand from her face. "I'm sorry, Abby. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that you tried so hard to hurt Adam, to hurt us and I can't…I'm sorry. I don't feel I can't trust you. I need time—please leave." Nell felt tears sting her eyes. Her longtime friend was leaving—perhaps forever.

Abby picked up her hat and gloves and left but turned in the archway. "Nell, I'll continue to share you if I have to. I do love you. Please, think about what I've said." And she left.

Nell sat in the silence. She had lost her friend of years, of her childhood and her adolescence and beyond. She had confided in Abby—too much, she now realized—and had almost hurt Adam beyond repair.

"Margery," Nell called out and the woman came. "Would you fetch my hat and gloves and my cape. Then please tell Dawson to hitch the horse; I'm going out."

It was about one in the afternoon and Nell walked into the offices of Cartwright & Spence. Billy James Wetherby saw her and pushing back his chair, stood up.

"Hello, Mrs. Cartwright. A pleasure to see you." The young man smiled. Mrs. Cartwright always looked so lovely.

"It's nice to see you." Nell smiled her most charming smile and then looked through the upper glass part of the partition but didn't see Adam. "Is Mr. Cartwright out of the office?" Nell considered that he may still be Christmas shopping.

"Oh, no, Ma'am. He's probably in the storeroom. You can go on back, if you like."

"Thank you. I will." Nell walked into the back and saw the storeroom door was open, a light on. Its window faced the alleyway and didn't give as much light as needed. "Don't you look busy?" she said in a teasing manner.

Adam looked up and rose, smiling. "What are you doing here, beautiful?" He took her hands in his and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Well, I thought that I had best do all my visiting while I'm still able so I thought I would visit my husband."

"So you've been out on a social whirl. Did you visit Abby?"

Nell hesitated only a moment. "Yes. Did you buy your family's Christmas gifts?"

"Oh, Nell…I've been so busy that I forgot. I'm sorry. Jess left early and I worked all through lunch and…"

"Never mind," Nell said. "I have the buggy so I'll run uptown and buy some things. I think I know them well enough to know what they would like."

"I'll do it tomorrow-promise."

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…you sound like Macbeth." Nell smiled and Adam chuckled. He knew she had read extensively while she had been at the Ponderosa—and not any of her cheap, vulgar novels but classical works. Nell surprised him with how quickly she caught on to the issues in the works and seemed to have a particular liking for verse. Adam held her hands and raised them to his lips.

"I do love you, Nell, and I don't know what I'd do without you anymore except bewail my loneliness, gnash my teeth in despair and rip out my hair by the roots." Adam smiled.

Suddenly Nell knew she would never tell Adam about Abby and the flowers or anything about what had passed between the two of them. She couldn't—that would be a betrayal of Abby nor would she betray Adam either—never again.

"Well, you don't have to do without me— not ever. Now kiss me and let me go. I have things to do."

"You merely have to order your most willing slave," Adam teased. He pulled Nell into his arms and kissed her again. He was a bit taken aback by the passion she displayed as this seemed no mere kiss goodbye but a prelude to seduction. "What is it, Nell?"

"I just love you, Adam. I do."

He looked at her carefully. He thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes. He pulled her to him again and held her closely, pressing his face against her hair. "Everything is going to be all right, Nell. Everything. Don't worry about things—let me worry for you."

Nell pulled away and looked up at him. His hazel eyes reflected concern; they were so warm and his mouth was so tender—so vulnerable.

"I know, Adam. Everything will be all right. Now, let me go and I'll see what I can find to buy for your family. You know how much I love to spend money."

"Okay, you go spend all my hard-earned money and enjoy it." And Adam walked Nell out noting how pretty she looked, so tempting and fresh. When they stood on the curb, Dawson waiting to help her up, Adam kissed her once more. "Nell…if something's wrong…"

She smiled at him. "Nothing is wrong. God's in his heaven and all's right with the world." And Dawson helped her inside while Adam stood watching, puzzling as they rode off.

Something was different, Adam considered. Nell seemed older somehow. And she had quoted Browning and his work "Pippa Passes," and he knew that the work dealt with murder and adultery and many other unpleasant topics far beyond the ken of the optimistic, naïve Pippa—or Nell. But then Adam shrugged it off. Nell was so innocent that she probably didn't pick up on the darkness hidden within the work, he decided. But then he stopped and thought again. Nell was quite the woman. Quite the woman and he hoped he could at least remain her equal. And he felt as if she had taken half the weight off his shoulders and that they were partners. She was quite the woman.

~ FINIS ~