My arms and legs ached on the third day on the river. Dwalin had trained with me at every stop that we made, but sitting in a boat for hours upon end with aching arms and legs didn't dwell well with my muscles.
Nor my bladder.
Thorin had said, though, that we would only stop once we reached the Men of Laketown, who would meet us to give us the ponies and the extra supplies. Thankfully, that destination had not been far off.
Nor was the Lonely Mountain. It hovered in the distance, near the end of the rushing, twirling river that we sat atop on our wooden boats. The Mountain was like a great curve in the land, drifting upward into the misty clouds above. I wondered what it looked like inside, what Smaug had done to it, whether, in a year, I would be living there myself.
Whenever in a year I would be living at all.
Ugh, I'm such an emo lately.
'Millie,' called Balin, from his boat with Thorin. I looked away from the green scenery that I had been staring at halfheartedly and looked to the front-left, where Balin sat behind Dwalin. 'I hope you know that I do not dislike you in anyway, and that my decision was only based on what would be safest for you'. I had known that this was not the only reason, of course. If any of them needed to defend me, it would put them in danger too.
And that was exactly why I needed to fight well, and learn well too.
I blinked, straightening up under the gazes of those who were not intent on rowing the boats. 'Oh, I know,' I said, trying to be light and airy and not give the poor Dwarf a speech in why it was my choice to come. I doubted that he would have appreciated a twenty-first century speech on feminism.
'Good,' said Balin, a smile on his plump face. 'Both Dwalin and I think the same, don't we?' There was a pause, and then Balin gave the brother in front of him a swift kick in the behind.
'Yes,' said Dwalin gruffly, and that was that.
The other Dwarves gave little huffs of laughter, but all stopped when Thorin said. 'There, on the bank. I can see the Men waiting for us with our ponies and supplies'.
I knew that upon finding solid ground, our journey would only become that much more real.
Lame.
'It isn't exactly the most comforting thought to see grown Men run away from the Mountain that we are heading for,' grumbled Bombur, tearing at a piece of his bread. He had been speaking of the fact that, upon getting our ponies and such from the Men of Laketown, the Men had left as quickly as they could.
'I swear I heard them praying for us,' I commented. 'Just as they were leaving'.
'Even better,' whined the Dwarf. I'd decided long ago that I liked Bombur quite a lot, and not because he was the friendly, fat one of the group. He saw things for how they were, be they shit or dandy. And he had a wife waiting for him at home, someone who he fought for, to reclaim a home that she could live in. Plus, he knocked most of his enemies out of the way with his belly, something that will never grow old.
I mean, that must take skill.
Like most nights, the lot of us were seated around the fire, cautious of what we were hearing in the forest. Ever since our first night of camp along the river, we had been very wary of whether we were being followed, especially now that we were on land permanently.
'Bilbo,' I said, thankful that I was seated closely to him so I did not have to shout across the company. 'Are you, you know, scared about going into Smaug's 'lair', or whatever. I mean, I know that you'll be invisible-' It was something that I had not bothered to ask the Hobbit, and something the Dwarves had taken for granted. I couldn't help but think that Bilbo needed some recognition toward his bravery.
'You should probably be worried if I was not even slightly fearful,' said the Hobbit, hairy, hard feet spread out in front of us. 'Thorin and the others have made it sound as if I will be leaving will extra gold, considering how I have...' He trailed off, not sure how to sound modest, yet knowing that he had got us out of some sticky situations.
'You can say it,' I laughed, drawing my knees up and hugging them to my chest. 'You've saved us loads, Bilbo. I can understand why Thorin would want you to take some more gold-'
'Well,' said Bilbo, voice lowering an octave. 'It was not Thorin who offered, but Balin. Thorin appeared to just go along with the request, although slightly unwillingly'. Bilbo cast his light eyes up to mine, a frown appearing under his curved little nose. 'I don't wish to bring up something that we are both seeing, but the Dragon Sickness that took Thorin's grandfather-'
'Don't,' I said, shaking my head and digging my feet into the ground. 'We have to hope that Thorin isn't succumbing to that greed of wealth'.
And shit, that was probably the most mature thing I had ever said. Point 1 to Millie in proving to the company that she is not some bumbling idiot. I looked over to the ponies as Bilbo replied, wondering which one I would call mine in the morning.
'I just don't have a good feeling, is all,' said the Hobbit and just nodded stiffly in reply.
'Neither do I, Bilbo-san'.
He just looked at me, baffled.
Later on that night, Kili was the first one to go on watch. Considering how we had spent the last three days on a boat, rarely going on land, I had not had much time to talk with him. And the next few days were very important, though I would not say it to him. He'd only get angry and tell me to shut up if I ever mentioned the fact that-
Well, he would just tell me that maybe I should have stayed at Laketown then, shouldn't I? That I was not ready to fight a dragon yet.
I couldn't find the words to say anything to him, though. We sat a few steps away from the sleeping company, hands interlocked and backs pressed against a boulder. The sky was clear, but clouds loomed in the distance, thin and wispy and misty.
'Tell me about something,' I requested, enjoying the feeling is his rough fingers between mine. 'Dwarves, your home, youself - anything. I want to know everything'. He did. His voice was low and near my ear, and he spoke of a time when Fili had taken the blame for him when Dis had caught Kili steeling a slice of cake.
This time, unlike others, I stayed wide awake and fed upon the stories he told me.
'Am I the only one noticing that the landscape is getting a little, er...worse for wear?'
Bofur, who had sat in front of me on his trotting pony had risen his head and said, 'Aye. Barren and burnt, it looks to me. Dragon fire can do the deadliest things, especially if there is no one here to mend the earth'.
And the earth was broken. The more we had traveled up the river, the more we could see that the trees stopped growing and the ground became rockier. Everything seemed to become more real - that this was our destination, this is what had become of the kingdom I had heard so much about.
'The land surrounding Erebor was once fair and green,' said Balin, his voice quiet as he rode upon his pony in front of myself and a few of the others. He inclined his head toward the mountain.
We looked out to the cracked earth, the blackened stumps of trees and the bleak, uneven land as the Mountain drew nearer. Atop my pony (Jimmy), I had been able to see the Lonely Mountain drawing closer and closer, standing tall and curving into the desolate land below. There's a dragon in there. A living, breathing dragon. Erebor had an army to defend themselves against Smaug, what makes you think that a handful of Dwarves and a Hobbit can defeat him?
I chose to ignore these thoughts, only focusing on the steering of Jimmy and the approaching Mountain. The River Running ran (hahahaha) toward the Front Gate of Erebor, but we had slanted away from it on our ponies. Thorin had said that, obviously, we couldn't just walk through the Front Door, and the key was used for the Back Door, wherever that was.
Which, you know, had been exactly our problem. Where the hell was the Back Door?
Alas, we kept riding along, quieter than ever. I rode nearest to Fili and Kili, as I usually did. They spoke in low voices to one another, and I had caught musings of what they spoke of - how large Smaug was, what Erebor looked like on the inside, whether the Arkenstone still lingered with the rest of the dragons guarded treasure.
These were things that I hadn't even bothered to wonder, upon other things. When I thought about it realistically, any of us could die in this battle, in this burglary. But when I thought about it fictionally...well, the movie wouldn't kill off any characters, would it? I mean, we had to reclaim Erebor. It was...it was just right. After everything, it would have been a slight anti-climax, right?
Then again, I knew, quite literally, nothing.
'We are approaching Ravenhill,' said Thorin, from the front of the group. He had been especially quiet and brooding since we had gotten the ponies from the Men of Laketown. 'It lays on the end of the Southern Spur of the Mountain, I remember. We should carry on past it, to the Western side of the spur and make our first camp there'.
'Aye. We don't want to linger too close to the Front Gate,' agreed Dwalin, nodding to Thorin.
'What's Ravenhill?' I inquired.
'The watch-post,' said Fili, before Thorin could even open his mouth. 'The Dwarves built it, but the ravens used to reside there. That's why it's called Ravenhill'. He looked quickly to Thorin, who'd turned to look over his shoulder at his nephew, thick brows raised. 'What? Kili and I would listen to your lessons when we were younger, despite popular opinion'.
'You have such little faith in us, Uncle,' said Kili, and I looked to catch the quick smile that he shared with Fili.
'You exaggerate,' said Thorin gruffly, though he turned away with a little smile. After that, small conversation rose within the rest of the group, but nothing too loud. We were all very aware of both Smaug and the fact that it would be much easier for any Orc to find us now that we were on dry land. My eyes lingered on Thorin for a while more, watching him grasp Bilbo's shoulders - the Hobbit rode next to him - and point to something in the distance.
'Toward that valley is the Front Gate, and just outside the Front Gate-'
Balin cut across the King, his word a breath of remembrance and longing. 'Dale'. He breathed in deeply. 'Ah, Master Baggins, there is none like the City of Dale - or how it once was. Markets renowned throughout Middle Earth, Men would travel to buy from those markets from far and wide. I hope to one day see it as it once was'.
Bilbo paused and looked out toward the sloping Mountain, to where the Front Gate was hidden as we rounded the Western side of the Southern Spur. 'So do I,' said the Hobbit.
I would have felt like a bit of a twat is I had agreed with him, so instead I kept my musings to myself. Honestly, I was a little gutted that I hadn't seen Erebor when it was at its fullest. I guess that those who either could not remember it or had never seen it felt around a hundred times worse than I had. Fili and Kili, especially.
By the time we had reached the place that Thorin called camp - a place beneath the grey cliffs - he was already ordering Balin, Bilbo, Fili and Kili to go and search out the Front Gate and the land to the South. Of course, Fili and Kili had agreed wholeheartedly, too excited for words at the thought of exploring the home that they were never given as children. Balin just seemed a little dazed at being back, while Bilbo seemed to go along with anything that Thorin said.
Before leaving, Kili gave me a kiss and a cheeky smile, to which I couldn't help but grin back at. 'Look after yourself,' I said, only a little nervous for him. 'Remember that there's a dragon-'
'I know'.
As they left behind anything that they would not need, I caught the eye of Fili and mouthed, 'LOOK AFTER HIM', and pointed madly to Kili, who was talking alongside Bilbo. Fili just squinted, laughed and then whacked a very confused Kili on the back.
They left behind the rest of us to set up the camp. Knowing that it would only take a few of them, I slunk back to stand beside Thorin, who gazed up at the great slope above us, up to the heavy and long walls of the Mountain. For a moment, he seemed not to notice me at all.
Until I let out of a pointed and loud cough, that is.
He looked to me, brows raised and the corner of his mouth up in a shrewd smile. 'Can I help you?' he inquired, hands linking behind his back. I never really appreciated just how much Thorin resembled his nephews until now, when I was so close to him. He looked like both, but somehow his nose and jaw resembled Fili just a little bit more.
'I just wondered how you were,' I asked, copying his stance and linking my hands behind my back as well. I'd looked up to the Mountain, thinking about Smaug and how scared Bilbo must be at the thought of walking into that Mountain alone. 'It must be wei- odd, being back and all. After so long,' I added, holding Thorin's blue eyed, steady gaze.
He tore that gaze away from me, staring up once again. The look on his eye was admiration for the hulking form of the Lonely Mountain, as well as something else. The kind of look I got when I thought of my mum and my dad and my cat. Homesickness. A sadness tinged with want. 'Yes,' he agreed. 'It is odd being back, after such a long time. I wish only now to see the halls of which my family ruled. And the Arkenstone,' he added. 'The Heart of the Mountain'.
I'd wondered briefly if dragons pooped, and if so whether we would be in for a surprise or not.
'I have longed to look upon its beauty again,' mused Thorin, eyes wandering to the pink sky. Above, clouds began to waft over the peak of the mountain, hiding it from view. 'My Grandfather thought that, upon finding it, the Mountain was telling him that he was the rightful ruler'. Thorin paused and looked to me. 'You will fall in love with Erebor, just as many have already done so. Built deep within the Mountain we stand beside now, its halls wait. Even though I grew there, I would still lose my way with all of the staircases and the hallways, going further down into the Mountain. And the walls,' he breathed in deeply, a ghost of a smile playing on his face. 'Sewn with gems and gold, they were. Deep into the depths of the Mountain-'
A quick burst of laughter came from Ori and Nori, both of whom were quickly shut up by their brother, Dori. Thorin's eyes lingered on them before fluttering down to me.
'I understand,' I told him, a kind of gentleness in my voice that I reserved for only those that deserved it. 'I lost my home too. Lost everything, just like you did. Admittedly I didn't go through the horror that you did - seeing my home burnt to the ground, seeing my people suffer. But, you know, I get it. And because of that, I really cannot wait to see you as King Under the Mountain, Thorin. You deserve it, dude'.
He bowed his head a little. 'Thank you, Millie'.
After that, I'd shimmied off in the general direction of the meal that Bombur was preparing, glad that I'd had that talk with Thorin. He continued to stand where he was, looking up at the Mountain and off toward where Bilbo, Kili, Fili and Balin had gone, waiting for them to return.
I sometimes wondered whether Thorin held more affection for the Hobbit than he cared to admit.
'Do you think we will ever see Mister Gandalf again?' inquired Ori, biting into his bread as we all settled down, noting that the sky was darkening. 'He said that he had business to take care of, but...'
'I think we will,' I stated, crossing my legs. 'He'd miss me too much, otherwise'.
Nori snorted into his plate.
It was then that the others had arrived back to the camp, very serious looking and dirty. Balin joined Dwalin's side, noting to Thorin that, 'Judging from the state of things, the beast still lays within the Mountain'. Apparently they had been forced to hide behind a rock, just in case Smaug was keeping watch down the side of the Mountain.
'We saw nothing else,' said Fili, taking the plate of food that we handed to him. 'It doesn't look like anyone has approached the Mountain for years'.
'Don't really blame them,' scoffed Nori quietly, earning a deep sigh from Dori.
Kili sat down beside myself and Fili, eating greedily and quickly. 'I spoke to Thorin,' I told him, watching with a wrinkled nose as he ate. His fingernails were caked with even more dirt and his hair was matted with dried crumbs of soil. 'He doesn't hate me half as much as I thought he did'.
Kili's mouth curved into an amused little smile. 'Miracles do happen, it would seem'.
I snorted. 'Charming'. I studies his face, lit by the firelight. 'What did you think then, of the Front Gate?' I had been truly curious. I hadn't yet seen it, but apparently the entrance to Erebor was huge and almost foreboding.
Kili paused to smile, sharing a look with Fili. 'Beyond anything I've seen of Dwarven architecture. It was huge, and there were two statues on either side of the Gate of two Dwarven warriors'. He paused, allowing Fili to carry on.
'It was odd, to see the home we have heard so much about since we were children,' supplied the blonde Heir. 'Balin was especially awed by it. He hasn't seen it since Smaug came'.
Balin had been talking Thorin, discussing what he had seen and if there were any signs of the dragon lurking beneath the surface of the Mountain, whether it looked as if he had been out in the recent past.
The next day went quite the same as the last. We rounded the Western side and continued to a smaller, thinner valley were it was grassy and looked less like Smaug had found his way to it. Thorin said that we would make this our final camp, as the Back Door (the freakin' invisible door) was somewhere atop the cliffs that constantly shadowed our camp.
I had begun to feel the weight of the quest, as we sat in the shaded, grassy valley, the ponies munching on whatever grass was left. Everyone was fairly quiet, brooding and impatient. If there's one thing that you can say about Dwarves, it's there stubborn impatience - once they are impatient, they won't stop being impatient.
I suppose that's why I fit in so perfectly.
'You'd think the door would just take a hint and appear, you know?' I complained, lying flat against the grass, my coat discarded beside me. My statement was met with silence, so I had tried another approach. 'Wouldn't it be terrifying if turtles could run?'
'You do talk some nonsense, Millie,' said Dori, brushing down his pony.
'Or if a snake had legs. God, that would be messed up,' I snorted, yanking at the grass and staring up at the grey sky. 'When will Thorin and Dwalin be back - they've been gone for ages'.
'When they have found any signs of the Door,' reasoned Gloin. 'Until then, they will continue to search, lass'.
'Or until they've given up and followed their stomachs back to camp,' shot back Oin, earning a quiet laugh from the remaining Dwarves. They all seemed pretty intent on sharpening their swords, brushing down the ponies or practicing their archery. Considering that Dwalin was out on the cliffs above us, I didn't have to do any training, thank God-
'Kili,' said Nori, sharpening his sword somewhere to my right. 'Spar with the lass, she needs to train'.
...Seriously?
I sighed and pushed myself onto my elbows, considering Kili with a level look. 'Yeah, go on then,' I shrugged, clambering to my feet. 'I still need to practice, especially now that we're here'. I cast an uneasy glance up to the Mountain, wondering whether I would have to use all of these new moves that I had learned over the past few months.
If only I had known.
Kili stood before me with a tight jaw and hard eyes, and I could tell that he had been thinking, recently, about my refusal to stay in Laketown. Training with me, it seemed, only brought back those worries.
The training session was probably my hardest yet. That's saying something, considering that my training partner was normally the gruff and rough Dwalin. I think the others noticed how forward and fast Kili was being with his jabs, because most of them stopped to watch, avid in their attention. I had tried to focus on my sword and my arm. Of Kili and his moves. Of my feet and where I was placing them. I imagined that Kili really was trying to kill me, just so I would focus that little bit more.
I had thought of that training session as an actual fight to prove myself. If I could defend myself for a long time - could impress him with what I had learnt - then maybe he wouldn't be so worried at the thought of me being caught up in any fight with any Orc that may come up, should we run into Azog again. Maybe he would see.
The only sound was the sound of metal scraping, of my heavy breathing, of the Dwarves intakes of breath as Kili's sword came close to knocking mine from my hands. It was in that session that I first ducked, and this only ended with me nearly falling onto my butt and having to hastily draw up my sword to block Kili's blow, one of my knees on the ground and the other supporting me.
I'd stopped the blow.
Kili heaved a great sigh, staring at me through the gaps in our connected swords. I clenched my jaw, wondering how the moment had turned so sour so quickly.
It would not be the first time that move saved me from an attack, though it would transpire in a slightly different way, at another time.
But, you know, spoilers.
I was going to update last night, but my sister and I lost my mum's credit card (lolwhoops), but it has been found, so all is good once again. I hope you like this chapter, it's a build up to Smaug and all that, as well as refining Millie's fighting skills.
Thank you so much for the reviews. I just look at the review count sometimes, and I literally cannot believe that's for my story. Gah, thanks a lot!