Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

-Chapter Three - Why Kami, WHHYY?

Naruto peeked his head out of an ally, checking for any signs of a furious pink haired kunoichi. He nearly jumped when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"So, Naruto, what are you doing?" Ino asked. She tried not to look at the green suit so focused her eyes intently on his face instead.

"Hey, Ino! You haven't seen Sakura anywhere, have you? She's trying to kill me!" His voice was a bit nervous. "She could be anywhere, ready to smash my brains out!"

'If you had any brains,' she added silently.

Out loud, she said,"you know where she would never look? The bath house! I'm already heading there so we could go together."

"Sakura would never go into the boy section of the bath house! Good idea, Ino!"

The two blonds headed to the bath house carefully to avoid the fuming pinkette along the way.

xxXxx

Ino smiled. Phase one complete. There was only one problem.

"So, aren't you going to take your clothes off?" Ino asked, standing hands on hips, in front of the blond.

"Uh... Don't you have to go to the girls change room first?" Naruto asked. Subconsciously, he was backing away from Ino. Something was off about Ino. She had a creepy smile similar to Sakura, but her eyes, her eyes were scary. They looked at him as if he were her prey. And they were scouring his body intently. The entire situation left Naruto freaked out. Luckily for him, he usually covered up uncomfortable situations by acting as if he were too dense to even realize his situation.

Ino stalked closer to her prey- I mean Naruto, and talked in a voice that she hoped sounded seductive. "Come on Naruto, for me?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously as a huge sweat drop formed at the back of his head. Ino was now freaking him out beyond comprehension. And what was with that creepy tone of voice she was using? She wasn't trying to sound -gag- seductive, was she? Naruto racked his brain for something to get him out of this mess.

'What would dense Naruto say? What would dense Naruto say?' He kept repeating in his mind. But this time, even playing dumb had no answers. So he just kept backing away from Ino, while eying every single possible exit available in the room and trying to formulate some sort of plan to escape.

'What would dense Naruto say?' He repeated. 'Hmm. Dense Naruto would probably start blabbering about Ramen,' he thought.

So he began to do just that. "Hey, Ino, you know what I always thought? Since the bath house water is always so hot, you could get a whole bunch if ramen cups and pour them into the bath water and then it would cook, and then you'd be having a bath in a giant tub of ramen! The part that would suck is that the three minute wait would be even longer since the water isn't quite boiling so it would take longer to cook-" Naruto kept rambling on about ramen as if the girl in front of him hadn't just asked him to take his clothes off.

A vein popped out of Ino's head. Had Naruto just denied Ino- over RAMEN?! Ino- the beautiful girl in purple- was just dropped by Naruto? Naruto of all people? OVER RAMEN?!

Her eye twitched. She was going to smash him so bad! But just in time she remembered her mission. 'No way I'm losing to bill board brow,' she thought.

Meanwhile, Naruto had been rambling on about ramen the entire time. "...so I was thinking miso-flavoured, or even both mixed together, ya know? Or maybe-"

"So, Naruto." She interrupted, with barely contained rage straining her voice. "Can you stand still for a second?"

She had tried to say this sweetly, but instead it had come out almost as a threat. Naruto gulped. 'Ino's scarier than Sakura,' he thought. Immediately he noticed Ino make a familiar set of seals. 'Mind control jutsu!' he realised.

Just before she finished the jutsu, he jumped out of the way. Ino fell to the ground unconscious, as she had missed the jutsu. Naruto stood in the middle of the change room, not knowing what to do with her unconscious body. He couldn't exactly leave her unconscious in the MEN'S change room. With a shrug, he picked up her body and started dragging her out through the door. It was just his luck when he stepped through the door and-

"What did you do to her, you dirty pervert!"

"Pervert!"

"AAAHHH!"

"Pervert Alert!"

"PERVERT!"

It turns out that there were four or five girls standing outside of the change room, who had all gotten the wrong idea.

"LET'S GET HIM!" One of them shrieked.

"DIE PERVERT!"

"Get the freak in the green suit!" One of them yelled.

Naruto, still carrying Ino, started running away from the hoard of angry girls, which kept getting more and more massive as more girls joined in to "kill the pervert!"

As Naruto started running the streets of Konoha (quickly dropping Ino off at the flower shop) he screamed like a girl.

"WHY?! WHY? KAMI, WHYYY!" He screamed at the sky. Behind him, the ever-growing hoard of girls were screaming "KILL THE PERVERT!"

As the hoard of girls kept getting more and more devious, Naruto found himself using all of his ninja training to keep himself from getting smashed.

It just got worse though, when Sakura joined the hoard. Yep. And she was still angry.

"NARUTOOO!" she shouted.

"KILL THE PERVERT!" The girls shouted.

xxXxx

In the distance, TenTen and Hinata watched Naruto be chased by a humongous hoard of girls as he screamed, "WHY, KAMI, WHYYY?!"

TenTen watched with amusement, with an evil smirk as she readied herself to join the other girls in 'the hunt' as she thought of it. Her hands were itching to use her newly polished arsenal of weapons that she carried in her scrolls at all times.

Hinata watched in horror and worry. "Naruto-kun," she said softly. She honestly hoped that her crush would be okay.

xxXxx

A/N Noo! Poor unsuspecting Naruto! Why, kami, WHYYY?! How could things possibly get worse for Naruto?

Here's a hint. TenTen and her craze for all things pointy.

Here's another hint. Anko, the crazy snake lady.

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