Chapter 3

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It been over an hour since Jax had got the text from Tara and he was getting impatient. She had said she would be right over— where the fuck was she? He entered his room at the clubhouse and shredded his clothes, not bothering to turn on the light.

He entered the bathroom, flicking on the light and heading to the shower. He turned the tap to hot— but not too hot and then slipped his fingers through his knotted hair. It had been one week since he had seen her. It had been over a month since they had really been together besides the kisses out of habit, their love life wasn't the greatest, with Abel being kidnapped, his mother on the run. He hadn't really been in the right mind frame at the time. After Abel's kidnapping, all he cared about was finding his son. He didn't care who he hurt in the process, even if that person was the love of his life.

Jax reached for the shampoo and poured a small amount in his hands and lathered his hair,

He had royally fucked up. What did he really think would happen after he banged Ima? He fucked the shit out of her all night at the clubhouse and rubbed it in Tara's face the next day. He had set the whole thing up. He knew Tara would come looking for him the next morning. He had totally played her and he played her emotions well.

He wanted her to leave him, get out of this life, his toxic life. His mother, was becoming too much of an influence on Tara and he was starting to not like it. He had to admit, his mother was a damn good Old Lady and Mother and he would do anything for her, but sometimes Gemma Teller could sometimes be more ruthless than Clay and that didn't sit well with him. He wanted better for Tara then a life on the run. Not a life of guns, war, death. So...Jax had done the one thing she said she would never accept... cheating. That would be the deal breaker of their relationship. He had never ever thought he would treat her so badly, but, the guilt, rage and sorrow he felt, consumed him and he couldn't help but blame some of it on Tara.

How could she let Cameron take Abel? Had she even tried to save him? He hated himself for thinking like that, but some part him wondered if Tara could have done more, protected Abel more.

When he found out she had lied to him about the leave at the hospital, assaulting her boss and killing his Grandfather's nurse. He had been beyond pissed at her. What the fuck had she been thinking? She could have lost her medical license, served real time in jail. He wouldn't let that happen, he'd leave her before it had got worse. He couldn't handle lies, especially not from Tara.

Jax snapped out of his thoughts as he heard his bedroom door slam, and his heart slammed into his chest. "Shit! Keep it together, Teller," Jax mumbled before quickly rinsing, he opened the curtain and then reached for the towel hanging over the sink.

Drying off quickly Jax wrapped the towel around himself and entered his room, stopping when he seen his best friend, sitting on the edge of his bed, smoking a cigarette.

"Tara's waiting outside in her car, you're supposed to meet her outside, she doesn't seem too happy. Looks like you're really going to have to grovel a little bit more than you thought. She's really pissed." Opie laughed, putting out his smoke and standing up. "Good luck with that, brother!" Opie laughed again, slapping Jax on the back. "i'll pray for you."

"Very funny Op, you're loving every minute of this, aren't you?"

Opie turned and a huge grin crossed his face, "You got that right brother, you've been quite the dickhead to her. You deserve what's coming to you, but I do believe she loves you, she's pretty angry right now, but I think she'll come around. Just take the beating for a bit. You and Tara belong together—your love is like, fairy-tale shit. It'll all work out."

"Yeah, right," Jax snorted, pulling on a pair of jeans, then his favorite grey hoodie, "I hope so, thanks Op. I'll see you later."

Opie nodded towards his friend and Jax left the room, slipping through the clubhouse hallways and out the back door avoiding his other brothers. He spotted Tara's cutlass immediately and sucked in a breath, "I hope you're right, Op." He whispered as he headed to the car, he opened the door, and leaned inside.

"Get in."

Jax swallowed, his eyes falling on hers, the hurt, hate and betrayal in her gaze, broke his heart and he climbed in. "Hey—"He whispered, his eyes never leaving hers, he could see how exhausted she was emotionally and physically and he reached for her, his hand brushing her cheek lightly.

Tara flinched at Jax's touch and she turned away quickly from him. She started the car, put it in reverse and glanced at Jax, her face hardening. "I think we need to pay your ex-wife a little visit!"

Jax turned to her as she pulled out of Teller Morrow and he shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat, a low moan escaped his lips and his fingers slipped through his blonde hair and he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "What happened with Wendy today, Tara?"

Tara glanced at Jax quickly before refocusing on the road. She turned left and they headed towards town. "She knew everything, Jax. Who kidnapped Abel…Who was there when it happened, how does she know all this stuff? Hasn't she been in fucking rehab! I will not let her take my son. She never raised him, didn't care if she killed him as she stabbed herself full of crank. I'll kill her before she gets to see Abel. She even tried getting Margaret to file a complaint. I don't want this battle in my workplace, I will not stand for it. You need to deal with this shit and end it now, Jackson. If you love me and want to make this work then you need to get rid of your old trash. Your old ways. I'm too old for this shit Jax."

Jax was shocked at the hardness that came off of Tara, the old Tara wouldn't have been like this, even the Tara from only a few months back would always be the neutral to everything, didn't try to get involved in his shit with the club or his ex-wife. He smiled slightly, he was proud of her she had really came into her role as his Old Lady. Even after everything he did to her, she hadn't left. She just buried herself deeper into his mess.

"I love you, Tara. I meant everything I said in the hospital a year and half ago and last night. I know I fucked up babe. I was in such a bad place at the time, I was so messed up. I was so angry after Abel's kidnapping and Half-sac dying...even Hale. I just wanted you safe, not to be right in the middle of this shit show I call a life. You're a fucking surgeon, you help save people's lives every day and I'm always involved in something illegal. You left Charming ten years ago, because you didn't like who you were becoming. It had never been Charming, it was me, it was my life, what I brought into our relationship. I didn't want that for you again Tara. So, I did the one thing you said would be our relationship deal breaker.

Tara pulled in to the hotel visitor parking at the Ramada where Wendy was staying and parked. She kept the car running and undid her seat belt and turned towards Jax. "Why Ima, Jax? Out of all the god damn crow eaters throwing themselves at you every day, why the porn slut?"

"Cause I knew she really bothered you, knew it would cut you deeply. I have known you since we were sixteen years old, Tara. I know what buttons to push. I was a prick Tara. I can't deny that and can't change that, but, I will show you how sorry I am, I will do anything to get you back, I can't live without you!"

Tara's body stiffened and she clenched her fists angrily, "So, if what you just said is true what changed Jax, in one week, to make you all of sudden want me in the shit show you call a life. Tell me, what the fuck is different? You think getting Abel back just changed everything. What we have been through, what you have done to me, I don`t know If I can do that. "Tara hissed, turning the key and shutting off the ignition. She opened her door and started to get out but turned instead, her green eyes filling with tears.

"Right now I want your dead beat ex-wife out of our lives, then, we can discuss everything else."

Jax held back his tears as she slipped out of the car and slammed the car door, He had knew this wasn`t going to be easy, but he realized that it was going to take a lot more than some groveling and a groan escaped his lips, he opened the door and slipped out, shutting the door and joining Tara on the sidewalk.

Shit was just going to get messier, he thought as the headed up the walkway towards the hotel.

TBC