Title: Only You

Summary: Post season 3 "Widening Gyre" (Okay everything in the show happened, up to Widening Gyre. Jax does not find out Tara is pregnant in Ireland and Salazar doesn't kidnap Tara... Plus I didn't like the fact that Tara took Jax back so quickly.)

Category: Sons of Anarchy

Pairings: Jax and Tara

Rating: Mature Adult

Genres: Romance/Drama

Warnings: Same as the show.

Chapters : 5

Published: 10/28/2012

Completed: No

Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, Kurt Sutter does.

Sorry for the long hiatus have been having writer's block lately but I was able to finish this chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Jax moaned as he stretched his legs, his muscle's sore from the old couch. His eye caught the picture beside him on the coffee table and he picked it up, his fingers brushing over the glass. 'How can I get you to forgive me, Tara' He sighed, 'I plan on making that up to you' he muttered as he placed the picture of Tara and her mother back on the table and sat up, moving off the couch.

'I really need a cup of coffee' He realized and headed to the small kitchen. Jax stopped as he glanced around the familiar room. How long had it been since he had been to her father's house? A year? Ever since they reunited, Tara had been at his house. It had become hers as well. They had moved in together and she was selling this house. Or— she was, until he screwed up and pushed her away.

Jax found the coffee and grabbed what he needed. Filling the coffee pot with water, he turned it on.

"You stay here all night?"

Jax turned slightly startled at Tara standing in front of him. He smiled at her, she was so beautiful. Even after 8 hours of sleeping, Tara looked fucking hot. Her brown hair all messy, her eyes half closed. He nodded at her question and reached for two coffee cups and then poured them both a coffee. He handed her one and took a seat at the table.

"You sleep ok?"

"Yeah." Tara whispered, taking a sip of her coffee. Her green eyes fell on his and she slipped into the chair across from Jax, "Why are you here Jax?"

Jax nodded taking a sip of his coffee and clearing his throat. "Gemma is taking Abel for breakfast with Clay then she will be here to drop him off." He glanced at the clock then back to her. "She said around ten. That gives us about two hours, could we talk?"

"What are you going to do about Wendy, Jax?" Tara asked, slipping out of her chair and over to the coffee pot. "The shit she pulled at the hospital yesterday could have got me fired. I was so close to hurting her Jax. The stupid ex-junkie—"

"It's done Tara, she won't bother us anymore. I made sure of that."

"And if she doesn't listen, then what?"

Jax sighed moving his chair closer to her, his large hands covering hers, "You are his mother Tara, not Wendy. She may have given birth to him, but she is not you. You're Abel's only mother." He reached for her face, his thumb brushing lighting over her cheek, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for everything that happened. For not protecting you better. I was so wrapped up in my own shit that I never seen that you were hurting just as much as I was. Shit—you were there, Tara. I can't imagine what it felt like to be in your position. How scared you must have been. I was selfish to think that I was the only one affected by it...But, I do that, I don't think of how it will affect other people or the damage I've done!" Jax sighed, moving closer to Tara and reaching his hand to her, his thumb brushing against her warm skin. "I never want to see you get hurt. I would rather you be far away from me and be safe, then be with me and get hurt, or even die. I always vision my father as the guy I wanted to be when I became a man. A father. A husband... "

"I hate that you do that!" Tara hissed, getting up out of her chair and pacing the small kitchen. Her green eyes darkened as her gaze glared at Jax angrily.

"Do what?

Tara rolled her eyes at Jax question and slipped her hand through her messy hair. "Don't give me that bullshit, Teller. You know exactly what you're doing. You are the one who bailed on us and slept with a porn star to get back at me... to push me away and you are making me feel sorry for you!"

"That's not what I'm doing Tara. I just want you to know how I feel."

"Bullshit Jax, you've done this since we were sixteen. Every time we fight, or you do something wrong, you always turn it around on me and make me look like the bad one. I didn't cheat on you Jax, I never pushed you away. All I wanted was to be closer to you, close to MY family. I was wrong though to ever think that I was a part of your family. All I was and am to you was a lay! I should have left after Kohn, I should packed my god damn things and got away from this vile town, away from you. " Tears streamed down her red checks, and she wiped them away, not caring that Jax was seeing her like this. Her hormones were all over the place and she couldn't hold them in anymore.

"Maybe I need to go sleep with Hale? We all know that all I would have to do is say yes to him and he would have me in an instant. At least I know with him, he would treat me the way I should be treated. He would never even consider cheating on me. Fuck, was I ever stupid to let you brainwash me all those years ago, to believe that what we had was true love, you can't love Jax. You have never been able to keep your god damn dick out of anything that spread their legs for you. Sixteen years ago and now. I was stupid to ever think you would change!"

Tara pushed past Jax, shoving him hard in the process. Jax stumbled trying to regain his composure.

"I fucked up Tara. I know that. Please, tell me what to do to get us back to where we were." Jax grabbed her hand, spinning her around and pulling her towards him. She struggled in his grasp, trying with all her might to pull away from him, but he was to strong.

"Let me go, you're hurting me." She screamed, tears still running freely down her face.

"Please Tara, I thought we went over all this last night, I thought we were going to move past this." I can't be without you Tara, I know that. You know that. Please, what do I have to do to get you to forgive me," Jax eyes filled with tears and he let go of Tara." Feeling defeated, Jax let go of Tara and sat down.

"There is nothing you can do Jax. You made your decision when you pushed me away, told me I wasn't a part of your family. I can take the hint. Everyone who I ever loved has betrayed me. Why would I ever think you'd be any different?"

"Because all that matters to me, is you and Abel. No one else matters to me more, Tara. How can I make you believe that?"

Tara snorted and rolled her eyes, glancing at Jax before turning slightly, "If you love me and you want to make this work, then show me. When you get out jail, you pack your shit and leave the club for good! "

"Tara, the club it's all I ever known. It's in my blood."

"No stop it Jax! I am done talking about this, either it's me or the club!"

Tara was about to say something else when the doorbell rang, she glanced at Jax before heading to the door. She opened the door to see Gemma and Abel. She smiled, her arms reaching for the smiling baby boy. "Abel! How's my little boy doing?" She snatched Abel out of Gemma's arms and crushed the baby against her chest.

"Well good morning to you too, Tara." Gemma snapped, her brown eyes glaring at her daughter in law, then to her son who was holding his head at the kitchen table. "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Sorry. Morning Gemma, glad you're here, missed my little munchkin. Is he doing okay, is he hurt?" Tara asked searching Abel's small body for any signs of discomfort.

"He's good, little fussy with his feeding's this morning, but he's happy and healthy." Gemma glanced towards Jax who was still in the same position when she first arrived.

"I'm sure he is but I want to take him to St Thomas and get him checked, make sure everything is okay before we leave town."

"Leave town? What are you talking about? Tara?" Gemma walked past the younger woman and stormed into the small kitchen. "What is she talking about, Jackson?" Gemma's brown eyes narrowed and she watched Tara closely. Tara followed behind, stopping at where Jax was sitting. She kissed the top of Abel's head softly and past him to Jax.

"Would you like a coffee Gemma?" Tara asked, avoiding the older woman's question.

"No! I wanna know what the HELL is going on." Gemma yelled and Jax' head snapped up, his blue eyes falling on his mother.

Tara sighed, reaching for her coffee cup that she left on the counter and poured herself a coffee and turned back to them before leaning against the counter. "Abel and I are going to go see my Aunt in Chicago. Stay with her for a few weeks, maybe longer. She is moving to Australia and she needs some help. I offered."

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Gemma yelled, anger rising within her, she could see the young girl was nervous and she inched closer, making Tara more uncomfortable. "My son is going to jail for god knows how long, in two days…TWO days and you're leaving to go to your Aunt's."

"Gemma, I never said when I was leaving, also you have no say in what I do with MY son. This is between me and Jax, not you!"

"Did you even tell him," Gemma snarled, her body almost flush with Tara's. Tara's eyes widened and Gemma smirked, she knew secrets were wrong and she was going to show exactly what secret babies does to a relationship. Gemma had grown to love Tara and thought of her like she was her own daughter, but she couldn't allow Tara to take Abel out of state. She wouldn't allow it. "Well...did you tell him?" Gemma questioned, her voice getting louder than before and Tara glared at her, pushing past her towards the fridge.

Gemma was furious, she turned sharply, following Tara across the kitchen. She grabbed her, gripping her arm tightly, "Should I tell him?"

"Calm down Ma!" Jax yelled, his voice was stern as he stood up, his dark gaze falling on Tara's. What was his mother talking about? What was Tara supposed to tell him? Jax glanced down to Abel. "I am going to go and change Abel, and put him down for a nap. When I get back we are going to sit down and you're going to tell me what the fuck is going on!" Jax' blue eyes shifted from his mother to his girlfriend, "Got it?"

Tara glared at Gemma, as the older woman smirked, defiantly, towards the two. Gemma took a seat at the table and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it.

What the fuck was she supposed to do now? She wasn't ready to tell Jax about the baby. He didn't deserve to know, not after everything he had put her through but damn Gemma had to open her big mouth. Stupid bitch. Gemma had never cared about anything except herself. As long as her family was around her. She didn't care if they were miserable or happy, as long as she had them close she didn't care who she hurt in the process. Fuck that, this was the last time she would allow Gemma to run their lives.

She would tell Jax about the baby when she was ready, and she wasn't going to let anyone change her mind on that, not even his mother. The one thing Gemma Morrow forgot about her was, that she was smart.

Smarter than Gemma.

TBC