"Your mother and I just got married. We immediately wanted a family as soon as possible. Attempts were made with no such luck. Two years after our marriage we were still left childless. We went to a specialist in order seek for help. We wanted to know what was really wrong."

I noticed my mother fidgeting on the sidelines. What happened in the past that scarred her so deep?

"Once we met the doctor, he said that all we needed was patience. Nothing was wrong with the both of us. We left the clinic happy and once again full of hope.

Finally, after the long wait, we were pregnant. We were to have a child. A baby girl."

My father did his best to keep his composure but I could hear the sadness in every single word he said.

"Our little angel was born on the 8th of January, just like you dear."

His forced smile deepened the wave of grief already engulfing the room.

"One night, we decided to have time to ourselves. We hired a nanny and left for dinner. We left at around six o'clock and arrived home at eight…"

The moment of silence felt like an eternity. Father held mother tight and carried on with the story.

"When we arrived home, our door was wrecked. The glass was shattered. We ran as fast as we could, praying that our daughter was fine. As we climbed up the stairs the nanny was out cold. Those images were traumatizing to anyone who would every see it. Hand in hand we slowly walked in the nursery begging that she was safe…"

He breathed in, summing up enough courage to say what has to be said.

"We opened the door to find an empty crib and an open window."

Hearing those words, mother broke down. She could not take the weight of what she was bearing. She cried on father's shoulder as he hushed her, telling her to let it all out. To let out all the sadness and pain that was tearing her apart.

I always thought that the distance that I felt with them was just a mere fragment of my imagination, but it wasn't. They were cold and distant due to the misery etched deep within their hearts.

Whatever happened to their daughter is something no parent should ever go through.

"I apologize greatly for resurfacing such dark images of your past. I did not mean for you to relive such torment…" I was in the verge of tears.

My mother pulled away from father and looked at me. She slowly made her way to my direction. She kneeled in front of me and held me tight. As if fearing that once she lets go, I'll be gone.

I returned her affection as would anyone would. I felt the tears falling from my eyes. I was sobbing along with them. I felt the pain that they had, I do not know why or how, but I did.

Father took mother and sent her to bed. As I watched them walk up the stairs I wonder if my real parents were the same. Did they love me as much? Was it painful to lose me? Or did they do it on purpose. The thought of being unwanted scares me.

Minutes later, I too went to bed. I recalled everything father told me. I could still feel the dolefulness of the situation. They must have had a hard time. Looking at me they would have surely pondered on the thought of where their real daughter was. Would she have looked like me? Would things been better if she was the one here?

I believe so.

I wonder what happened to her? Who took her is the real mystery, and why?

I want to find my real parents. I want to know why they gave me up but I cannot abandon mother and father. Losing a daughter twice would break them…

Could I honestly hurt them? After taking care of me, loving me as their own?

When I think about, I cannot just leave. Where would I go? I don't even know where my biological parents are. Not to mention if they're still alive. Before I leave I need a plan.

First, I have to know how they got me. Maybe from there I can move forward. Maybe from there I can get an idea on where to start.

Thinking of all those plans and possibilities, I did not notice that I have fallen into a deep sleep.

The next morning I was woken up by my father's voice. I sat up and wondered as to why they were in my room.

"We weren't able to tell you the whole story, dear. Your father decided to take a day off to discuss this matter. We want you to fully understand this situation."

I nodded, telling them to continue.

"Months after losing our baby girl, we felt a gaping hole that was left because of her absence. We desperately needed a child to call our own. It is what we both dreamed of, to have a family. We decided that we were to adopt and so we visited various orphanages and sadly didn't find a child that was for us."

If they didn't find a child suited for them in an orphanage, where was I found? Mother continued.

"As we were on our way home, we decided to pass by Kensington Park. We sat on the bench and thought of all the possibilities left for us. As we talked a young lady in her mid twenties approached the both of us. She asked if we could watch over you as she went to walk the dog. We waited and waited but she never came back. We didn't even have the chance to get her name."

"That's it? I was just left alone to strangers, to walk a dog. A DOG."

"Honey if she didn't leave we wouldn't have you. We wouldn't be a family. Right from that moment, when we saw you. You look like our daughter. It was like she never left."

"I'm not her. We are two different people."

"We know dear, and we love you all the same. There was never an issue if you were her or not. What mattered was that we were given a second chance. A second chance to be parents. We vowed to love you, to take care of you and to protect you."

My head was spinning with al the new information that I was getting. How could they leave me like that? Was I that unimportant? Did they not want me at all and decided to just give me away to any random stranger they meet? Were they THAT desperate to get rid of me?

"Elle, darling, please don't cry…"

My heart was pumping and my head was throbbing, I couldn't take it.

"Please, I just want to be alone right now."

They stood and turned to leave, hearing the door shut all the pain burst out of me.

I cried and cried, I felt so unimportant, so useless, so helpless.

They don't love me. If that is the case then I don't need them!

I am never going to look for them…

NEVER.