Water Under The Bridge: We have arrived
"We're approaching Otlan Five," Julie announced, rather unnecessarily as the entire crew was either in the cockpit or the hall outside of it.
"Any satellites active?" Willow asked.
"Looks like the targeting sats the Core set up are still active," Dawn reported from the copilot seat.
"They probably destroyed everything else," Mal said. "But good luck trying to hack into one."
"Xander, what's the password?" Willow asked.
"First ten digits of pi backwards," River replied before Xander could speak.
"And we're in," Julie announced bringing up a holographic globe that slowly rotated showing massive dust storms and desserts everywhere but some surprisingly green areas around the coasts of the larger continents and islands that looked to have been completely untouched and still flourishing.
"Is it just me or does that look like Earth?" Dawn said.
"The Hotaru com-glom chose this planet because it had vaguely similar landmasses and they further enhanced that resemblance by shaping them via chunks of ice dropped from orbit," Julie reported.
"Must have been some rich folk," Mal said shaking his head.
"They sank all their profits into trying to recreate the Earth-that-was," Julie said. "They had gene samples of extinct animals, plant seeds, the works, to try and recreate what mankind lost."
"Only for the Core to destroy it all," Mal said sadly.
"Not everything," Dawn said focusing in on an island and increasing magnification.
Everyone stared in disbelief.
"It's Japan," Willow said in shock. "It's feudal Japan."
"They must not have wanted to waste their expensive, experimental bombs, designed to kill entire continents on single islands," Mal said with a wide smile at seeing people living completely free from core rule.
"But wouldn't they at least drop a couple of normal bombs to wipe everyone out?" Kayla asked.
Julie suddenly giggled, before exclaiming, "They're historical re-enactors!"
"What?" several people asked at once, but Julie was too busy laughing to answer.
Dawn brought up the files on Otlan Five that no one except Julie had gotten bored enough to more than glance through and did a global search for historical re-enactors, bringing up half a dozen entries and opened up the one for Japan. "They had villages set up to mimic historical Japan. All anachronistic technology was banned."
"Wouldn't the Core have noticed the lights and fires?" Kaylee asked. "I mean we can see it all clearly and we're using the Core's satellites."
"For safety sake each village had underground shelters to protect the villages from the massive storms that were caused by their unique method of terraforming. It was predicted that it'd take at least a century for the weather to stabilize and those storms to stop spawning during the winter months," Dawn read.
"All the war meant, was no more tourists bugging them," Julie said.
"Hawaii and one of the South American islands are also inhabited," Dawn reported as she scanned for occurrences of night fires to locate living people.
"Does this change anything?" Mal asked. "I mean we were coming to claim the place, but it's inhabited."
"Actually, it makes our claim stronger," Julie said. "We were going to file as a developing colony and hope we were far enough out that the Core couldn't flood the planet with 'settlers' who'd vote in their puppet to take control of the place before the six month deadline, but with this many people already living here we can just vote ourselves into office and turn back any Core supporters that show up."
"I don't think the locals would vote for some strangers showing up to claim the planet," Mal said.
"They'd have the right to file against, but they only have a thirty day window and have to be registered voters," Julie explained.
"Talk about a rigged game," Mal said.
"Who do you think would treat them better, us or the Core?" Willow said.
"Looks like we're the local dictators," Jayne said cheerfully.
"Grow me some flowers?" River asked Xander.
"A planet's worth," he agreed.
Everyone turned to stare at the two for a second before turning back to look at the nearly empty world.
"Lots of water and land lying open," Jayne said.
"We'll need a lot of seeds of all sorts," Mal noted.
"Do you know any magic for helping plants grow?" Inara asked.
"I do," Dawn said.
"I can't help thinking the Core would interfere," Mal said.
"We fill out the right paperwork and we are the Core," Simon said.
"Like a wolf in sheep's clothing," Faith agreed, tossing in her two cents.
"What would we do with a planet?" Kaylee asked. "I mean, we don't exactly have a use for one, nice as it is and I can't see us moving here and letting Serenity rust."
"She's right, we're here for parts," Mal said. "And to claim the ship yard, not to settle down."
"We can plant flowers and still travel," River said. "Just be nice to have someplace to come home to."
"Scatter seeds and encourage growth in between jobs," Dawn said. "I"m willing to bet we'll be returning for parts regularly."
"Don't we have to stick around to defend our claim?" Mal asked.
"As the government, we make the rules," Julie replied.
"Send the paperwork in," Mal told her. "Looks like we're going legit."
"Dibs on being the Director of Offense," Jayne said.
"I thought it was the Director of Defense?" Faith asked Kaylee.
"Yeah, but this is Jayne we're talking about," Kaylee replied.
"Point," Faith agreed.
"We call dibs on running the secret police," River announced.
"Why would you want that?" Simon asked recalling the near universal hatred people who usually took the role acquired.
"The right to strip search anyone at any time," Xander replied.
"I'll take Director of Medicine," Simon said, trying not to think about it.
"Minister of Culture," Inara said getting into the spirit of things.
"Director of Population Control," Dawn said. "Most of the frontier worlds are a bit dry compared to this one, so we can allow some immigration on the coasts for farming."
"Put me down as Goddess of the Moon," Willow joked. "I'll start a religion based on the worship of redheads later."
Faith laughed. "I"ll take Imports and Exports, so I can do some quality testing on any alcohol coming in or going out."
"Just put me down as Head Dictator," Mal said, "or Chief Psychiatrist, which amounts to the same thing around here."
Various joke titles and job responsibilities were bandied about by the crew as they looked down at the planet below them that they had lucked into becoming the owners of... while Julie dutifully copied everything down and filed it with the Core.
Typing by: Stephenopolos