A/N: Hey guys so Happy Royai Day and I thought I would write my chapter with today's theme: undercover. Well our favourite military couple will certainly be under covers. Please write a review, constructive critism is nice, EmpressOfBread and I are both new to us so feedback would be great. ~ChelenTheMelon
The Colonel and his subordinate were snapped out of their own thoughts by Edward's human knuckle knocking on the damp rotted door.
"Enter Fullmetal" Mustang called out to the tiny figure behind the door.
Ed hesitantly placed his hands on the handle and heaved the door open ploughing through the snow outside. The pipsqeak stood there in the open doorway appearing even smaller in the foreground of the overbearing mountains.
"Lieutenant?"
"Edward."
Mustang took the opportunity, while Hawkeye was talking, to wriggle closer to his minor; slyly slipping his hands into her sleep bag. Hawkeye completely unaware, and Fullmetal as always completely oblivious.
"Lieutenant I was wondering if we could have more blankets." Ed fiddled with the sleeve of his red cloak shuffling his feet nervously. Ed's confident persona gone in the presence of Hawkeye, the crack Lieutenant.
Mustang took this opportunity to strike, while Ed was looking down, to grab his Lieutenant around his waist with his cold hands. Hawkeye visibly flinched trying to bat Mustang off with her elbows. But upon seeing Ed's line of vision slowly reach her level she immediately stopped, adopting her previous expression, before her pervy Colonel tried to molest her. She tried to block out Mustang's hands and the way she felt after they crept further and further up her body.
"Edward?" Hawkeye sighed. "Did Havoc and the rest of them put you up to this?"
"Yeah, they said it was my initialisation seeing as it's my first mission with them and all." Ed said beaming at her in his oh so innocent expression.
"Edward?"
"Liutenant?"
"Please can you transmute some blankets…"
"Sure?"
"Out of Havoc's, Falmon's, Breda's and Fury's remaining clean clothes."
"You can count on me Lieutenant." Ed replied with a cheeky grin.
Mustang's hands finally found the strap of her bra at the back surprised that he had even got this far without the little grain of rice noticing him. Edward really was extremely innocent. He began silently undoing the clasp, without any noise at all a technique he had perfected over the years. Hawkeye noticed and her whole body went tense, her muscles contracting, but her face perfectly still while talking to Fullmetal. She gritted her teeth making a mental note to tie Mustang to a tree in his underwear in the cold and then shoot so close to this "fire stick" (as he liked to call it) that he would cry like a girl. This thought kept her from killing him there and then. But she needed some way to show Mustang that she really wasn't amused.
"And Edward."
"Lieutenant."
"Be careful out there, I've heard there are bear's out there." She smirked to herself, grinning at the punch line that she was about to deliver.
"Lieutenant?" Ed looked at her eye brows up and a confused look on his face.
"Because I have heard that if you rub them up the wrong way, they can kill you." She smirked to herself wondering if her sex-driven Colonel had taken the hint.
"Lieutenant?" Edward expression had not dissolved but his face had rather become more contorted.
"Yes but I'm sure you'll be fine Fullmetal, an alchemist could beat a bear anyday." Mustang smiled to himself triumphing over his comeback.
"Oh I don't know Sir, bears have pretty good aim, and carry at least two guns on them." She looked behind her to Mustang who upon remembering the two firearms she had with her in the sleeping bag withdrew his hands swiftly.
"Lieutenant are you okay? I'm not actually sure what you are talking about now. I think you need some sleep. Lieutenant. Colonel." Fullmetal said bowing slightly to his superiors.
"Edward" Hawkeye replied.
"Fullmetal" Mustang echoed.
The Fullmetal Alchemist opened the door again, letting in the cold North air, the wind stinging the inhabitants' face's.
"Sir, that was deeply inappropriate." Hawkeye turned on the Colonel in a rushed whisper making sure Ed couldn't hear.
"I'm sure you loved it though Lieutenant." The Colonel said in his seductive voice, the same voice that would make any other girl scream internally. All Hawkeye wanted to do was scream internally because of her weird, unproductive, pervy Colonel.