Where there's a will, there's a way.
Yeah. Whatever genius who said that didn't think it through.
Sometimes he thinks they have the saying wrong. It really should be "Where there's a way, there's a will" because he figures he's encounters a lot of crazy shit. If it's possible, someone will find a way to pull it off.
Like people peeling faces off. Or a gas that makes you drop dead laughing (There is a reason Gothamites are very literal, after all). Jason thinks he's encountered everything by now.
There have been people coming back from the dead, Bruce traveling through time, zombies, inter-dimensional portals to the equivalent of hell, mutant snot, killer aliens, killer alien robots, normal killer robots, clones, magicians, friendly aliens that are scientific miracles, islands of secret amazons who worship gods that actually exist, invisible planes, martians, speedsters, cryogenic accidents, and madmen. A lot of madmen. Jason should know; he was killed by one.
The other guy, the one that said "anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Or maybe that was Bruce when he was in one of his more frustrated moods, and it was "anything that will go right", twisted to make the rest of the house darker.
Yeah. The latter was probably correct.
Except this was new.
There was an exploding donkey, magicians from another dimension, and two very grumpy, mostly alive kryptonians who were too afraid to yell at Jason and Daimian themselves. Not to even get started on Bruce, Dick, and Alfred all yelling for rigging that totally amazing prank in the watchtower on Superman.
(Though, seriously, Jason is now officially going to ask the repla- Tim, to marry him. Even though he kinda hates the guy, that was the best idea Jason has ever heard. Which is saying a lot, because most of his own ideas are pretty amazing, if he says so himself.)
Alfred and Bruce were giving Jason and Damian a lecture on pranking and someone could have gotten hurt and what if insert dangerous situation here happened. Jason heard it all before, so he tuned out and nodded in apropriate moments.
And then a Donkey appeared out of nowhere. For a minute everyone just stared at it, and the realization that the animal was beeping sunk in very slowly.
"This was unexpected." Demon bird was making the face, where he wants to coo over something but doesn't want to reveal weakness.
"I have to say I agree with Master Damian-" Alfred starts.
And the Donkey exploded. There was another second of silence in which Jason got over the disgustingness of dead animal guts enough to silently laught at the Demon's face, which was horrified. Dick looked like he agreed with Damian.
It took like, a minute for the yelling to start again, and then stop when 'a swirly-vortex-thingy-of-doom' appeared and two heads to pop out.
A blonde girl with purple highlights and wearing linen pajamas and combat boots tumbled through the sandy opening.
"Well. Sorry about Fred," She said cheerfully, not sounding very sorry at all. Jason noted her very faint brittish acccent, like she had lived there for most of her life then moved away.
A black kid with a sword on his back stepped out behind her. He wore exactly the same thing, but with slippers on his feet.
"Sadieee," He dragged out the 'ie' in complaint, "I thought we decided not to jump through the portal. Like, three seconds ago. When we were talking to Walt." He shoots her a meaningful glare that has no effect.
"Too bad, Carter. Now quit whining so I can open this bloody portal again." Yeah, definitely brittish, Jason thinks.
Carter just notices the people covered in Fred the Donkey guts.
"Oh. Sorry about Fred, he was a little volatile. He'll reform in an hour." Bruce looked like he swallowed a fish, which, addmittedly, was fucking hilarious. By the time he finally overcomes the shock of being sprayed by ass intestines (heh), Sadie has opened up another sandy-portal-vortex and the two kids are gone without so much as a goodbye.
"…I am so doing more research on the multiverse," Bruce groans before Alfred reenters the kitchen, magically holding mops and brooms and all sorts of cleaning sprays and tools that Jason didn't know existed and honestly never wanted to. Fuck, where did Alfred even mops from that quickly? The broom closests are all empty.
Jason decides, very wisely, that he doesn't want to know. At all. Because afterwards, he follows the butler to see where those stupid shitty sponges end up, and looses track of him as soon as they leave the kitchen.
Although, he hopes the donkey does actually reform. He'll use it on the repla-Tim. Or on Superman again.