Chapter 13 – Bring on the cigars, it's a boy!
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That fist night in the cottage Edward bathed Anthony in the kitchen sink. Not because the bathroom didn't have a perfectly functional shower or anything… but because Anthony hated water with passion. The only way to get the boy clean was to pour a bath and gently, but firmly dip him into the water. He fought it like a cat afraid of drowning, but once it was over he was so exhausted he fell asleep the very same minute his head hit the pillow.
The child slept tucked away in the bottom bunk of the massive bunk bed that took up almost the entire bedroom. Edward declared the top bunk his, which left Bella with the sofa bed in the living room/kitchenette area.
Once her bags were put away Bella unpacked her laptop and placed it gently on the coffee table. The night was still early, the clock on the wall just nearing eight, and she had tons of work to do. Research is time consuming. That point cannot be emphasized enough.
She had already separated what she knew to be true from what she assumed to be true and was left with a list of indisputable facts. Next step was to run that list against various of databases of stored records (like for example birth, marriage and death registrations in the Seattle area) and WOLA, hopefully she'd find a match… or in this case, as it turned out, 3245 possible matches… this was where research came into the picture… Data processing by elimination was a whole science in itself. Every single piece of information needed to be verified and indexed for rapid retrieval and cross-matching.
Kicking off her shoes, Bella settled into the sofa with her tired feet elevated on some pillows. Once she had found a comfortable position she fired up her computer and waited for it to boot.
About a half an hour later a sound of something thudding against the wall broke her concentration. Looking up, she saw Edward by the door bending down to tie his shoe laces.
"Going somewhere?" she asked as she looked at him cautiously.
"I was thinking I'd go for a walk," he stood up and stretched his arms high over his head, his shirt riding up over his taut belly.
"A walk? You're going for a walk?" Bella questioned stupidly as her eyes involuntarily sought out the flash of skin and the line of hair that disappeared into the front of his jeans.
"Yes, that's what I said, a walk. It's not that foreign of a concept, people do it all the time. You put one foot in font of the other and keep moving."
"Yeah, I'm familiar with that part… What I want to know is when I became the 'babysitter' in all this? I think I've already dealt with my fair share of smelly body fluids and toddler antics today. You can't just take off and leave whenever you feel like it...Not anymore… You've got a whole set of new responsibilities now."
"Come on, he's asleep and I'll only be gone for half an hour or so," he pleaded.
She avoided his gaze, knowing that if she looked into his eyes, she'd lose all sense of rational thinking. "Don't get me wrong. Anthony is a great kid and I don't mind hanging out with him, but you can't just assu-..."
"I'm not assuming anything, I just didn't think of asking first, because I didn't think you'd mind, since he's asleep and all... Look, I left my phone in the car and I need to go look for it because I have an important phone call to make… to my parents…. I'm telling them tonight. I'm telling my Carlisle and Esme about Anthony tonight."
"You haven't told them yet?" Bella asked, genuinely surprised. "Alice told me they are away on a cruise, but I figured you would have spoken to them by now."
"Nope, it's Carlisle's first real vacation in years and I honestly thought this whole thing would blow over once I got the test result back. It didn't quite work out that way and now I need tell them the 'happy' news," he paused to make air quotes around the word happy before he continued. "…because if I don't then Alice will do it for me."
"Surely she'd respect your wishes if you let her know you want to be the one telling them."
"Of course, but for how long? She's already told Jasper and I'm sure both Em and Rosie have been thoroughly briefed by now as well. "As he spoke, he squared his shoulders, making it look like he was bracing himself for a blow. "I need to tell them. It's just a matter of time before someone slips and I'm not going to risk it.
Bella rose from the sofa to retrieve the car keys. "I'd wish you good luck, but it's not 'luck' that will get you through this."
"No, it's not," he agreed. "I need to rip the band-aid right off. There is no way around it. It needs to be done, and it's not going to get any easier if I wait. Besides, there is something I need to ask Carlisle about, something that's been on my mind ever since that conversation we had the other day."
"What conversation?"
"The one about allergies and how there might be a doctor out there somewhere that has treated Anthony for Antaphy-…, Anaphy-…, "
"Anaphylaxis?"
"Right, well It got me thinking…. I never had any allergies as a kid, but there was this one time, a few years back…. My face swelled up like a chipmunk's- no, like a helium balloon. I'm sure it looked all kinds of bizarre, and it was out in public, of course… at some fancy party…"
"That happened to me once too, the swelling I mean, but it turned out to be a strep throat."
"Well, this was definitely not a step throat. I'm pretty sure it was the shrimp cocktails. I only ate like two or three of those things, but within minutes my face was swelling and my throat was closing up and the next thing I remember is waking up in an emergency room."
"So, does this mean you're allergic to seafood then?"
"No, I don't think so. I haven't had any troubles with shrimps before," Edward replied with a sheepish smile and scratched his head. "I don't know for sure what it was, exactly, that set it off, but I've been told that the reaction might possibly have been heightened by a wee bit too much alcohol. Sent me into panic mode, which didn't help my already challenged breathing."
Bella crossed her arms over her chest and feigned shock and disapproval. "Gee, let me guess, you were shit faced drunk when it happened! That seems to be a pattern with you."
He narrowed his eyes, but let the jab slide. "This was years ago, so my memory is a bit fuzzy. I was hoping Carlisle could help me with the time frame. He was right there at the hospital with me when it happened."
"So it was in Forks then?"
"No Seattle, which is why the timeframe is important. It must have been about a year before Em and Rosie got married."
"Which was when, 08?" Bella guessed and Edward nodded.
"Yep, Valentines Day in 2008. I accidentally ate crab cake on their wedding reception and nearly had another panic attack thinking history would repeat itself... "
"And?"
"And what?"
"Did it repeat itself?"
"No, I was fine, nothing happened. It has only happened that one time. I obviously haven't been eating a lot of seafood since then, but I haven't been avoiding it completely either."
"There are tests you can take to screen for allergies you know."
"I know, my dad is a doctor, remember? You're missing the point here." Edward shook his head. " I can count the number of times I've been up here, in this area, over the last five years on my two hands. If the wedding was 2008, the whole chipmunk ordeal must have happened prior to that point, which puts it somewhere around summer of 2007…or even as early as march…"
"Oh?"
He could practically see the moment her mind clicked and she figured it out. "Oh! You were out drinking in Seattle, at some fancy party, your memory is fuzzy, but it might have been right around Easter time in 2007… Is that what you're saying?"
"Possibly… That's what I'm hoping Carlisle could answer for me. That and weather or not they ran a tox screen on me when I was first brought in." Those last words were said in an almost inaudible voice and Bella felt her heart plummet for him. Not this… not again…
"You think someone slipped you something?" she asked, bracing herself for the answer.
He shook his head 'no', "It was an allergic reaction, there is no doubt about it. Still, with everything I've found out lately, I would feel a lot better to see it in black and white on paper."
"Of course."
The urge to reach out and sooth him was overwhelming, but she fought it for the sake of keeping her sanity. Edward, of course, mistook her internal struggle for something else, skepticism maybe or disapproval, and went straight into defense mode.
"Look, it's not that I don't drink on a fairly regular basis and it's not that I haven't done stupid, immature things while drunk. The thing is, though, I don't drink when outside my comfort zone," he explained, his jaw tight, neck muscles tensed. "I've learned the hard way to always be careful. I never drink anything I haven't seen poured. I never leave drinks unattended. I only ever cut loose around people I feel 100% comfortable with."
"I know. I'm sorry," she threw he hands up to indicate that she was surrendering.
"And I most certainly did not have sex with anyone after blacking out from an allergic shook reaction, if that's what you're thinking."
"No, of course not. I don't think that's even medically possible. This just provides us a new angle to work with, that's all. I believe the million dollar question here is; when was this party and where?… Oh, and also… who were you out with? Who could you have been out drinking yourself silly with, here in Seattle, in march 2007, when…"
"…when all the usual suspects were back in NY!" Edward finished her sentence and then threw up his hands in a finally-she-gets-it kind of way. "That's something that has boggled me since the very beginning. I did hang out a few times with the studio musicians I worked with. There is nothing unusual about that. We went to a sport's bar, saw a hockey game and then there was this open mic thing. I remember every single one of those outings clearly, though, because I didn't really drink that much… or at all…"
"Maybe you ran into someone from school? Seattle is not that far from Forks, you know."
"Maybe," he agreed, but the sounded dubious.
"Who brought you to the hospital? Or was it an ambulance?"
"No ambulance. I could have sworn it was Jasper, but he was nowhere near Forks that spring, so either I have the dates all wrong, or my memory is playing tricks on me. Whoever it was, though, knew me well enough to make sure Carlisle was contacted straight away."
"Then Carlisle must know who it was?"
He smiled a sad sort of half smile. "Yeah, he's usually good at remembering all sorts of random stuff, especially when it relates to his work. "
Uncrossing her arms, Bella dangled the car keys on her index finger.
"What are you still doing here? Don't you have a phone call to make?"
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A green matchbox car had been parked in the cup holder between the gear shift and the handbrake… left behind in favor of more immediate needs…. abandoned… Just like the boy, like Anthony, his son…
"I have a child, a SON," Edward whispered to himself and shook his head.
He still couldn't quite get his mind around it. There were so many blanks left to be filled in, so many pieces to this puzzle. He had no idea where to start, but sitting there in an empty parking lot with his phone in his hand wasn't going to accomplish anything.
He had the number on speed dial and only had to press two buttons to make the call, but that didn't make it any easier. He could feel his stomach doing cartwheels as he flipped his cell phone open.
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Bella must have fallen asleep in front of the television. She awoke with its blue light flickering over her in the dark room. The sofa was comfortable, but the laptop resting on her stomach… not so much…
She got up to check on Anthony. On her way to the bedroom she passed a window and was startled to see it was pitch black outside. It was late, really late. She must have been asleep longer than she'd first thought… hours maybe… Luckily Anthony was snoozing away peacefully in the bottom bunk. She knew the boy was a light sleeper and had fallen into a habit of waking up every three or four hours during the night, but so far so good. The top bunk was empty, as was the rest of the cabin… No sign of Edward… She tried his cell phone and got his voice mail. Should she be worried? No she decided, he is a grown man, he can take care of himself.
That resolution lasted for a whole five minutes before she tried his cell phone again…. Still no answer, of course.. She left him a quick message telling him that she was anxious to hear from him and that he needed to check in with her ASAP.
Not clingy at all...
She realized with a hint of embarrassment that she was no better than Chief Swan had been back in the day. Only Edward wasn't a sheltered teenage girl… and she was in no way his keeper…
Putting her phone away, she scurried into the bathroom to get changed into her night attire.
It took her a good twenty minutes to figure out how to unfold the sofa into a full size bed and then another ten to get comfy. The comforter was too thin and the pillow too lumpy and just as her eyelids began to droop she realized she still had her contacts in… a big no no as she had über sensitive eyes and often got infections. So she dragged herself out of bed and stumbled off to the bathroom. She had just put her contact lenses to soak when she heard the crunch of a key sliding into the lock.
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The man on the other end of the phone line was quiet for a moment. Edward could hear a glass being filled with ice cubes, and then there was the sound of liquid being poured, presumably from a bottle.
"You know for sure he's yours?" his father finally asked. "You're not just taking this woman's word for it?"
"He's mine, Carlisle. We've had a DNA test done and everything."
"She had your child and she didn't tell you? Who is this woman?"
Edward didn't know how to answer, there was no way he could tell his father that he didn't know… that'd he had in fact been that irresponsible. "Just someone I used to hang out with a few years back. It never got serious… we never…"
"Never serious? It resulted in a child, I'd say that's serious, alright."
"I know..," he answered softly.
"You need to make things right, not just with the child, but with her as well."
"How can I do that if I can't even find her? Besides she abandoned her own child, I'm not sure I even care what happens to her."
"Clearly there is a story here that I know nothing about, but how do you know that she wasn't acting with the child's best interest in mind? This woman could be stuck in a really unhealthy environment with domestic violence, drugs or psychological abuse. Or maybe she's simply struggling financially. You don't really have the whole picture until you have found and spoken to her."
"I know… Look, I've taken measures to track her down, but apparently the name I know her by is not even her real name, so it's not like I have a lot to work on."
"You said she's from Seattle. When was the last time you saw her?"
"That's actually something I was hoping you could help me with. I'm thinking it must have been around the time I ended up in the ER because of those shrimps I ate. You remember that?"
"Sure do, "Carlisle replied almost instantly. "You weren't responding to the treatment and they were minutes away from performing a tracheostomy when I got there. It was quite dramatic."
"I wouldn't know… I was pretty out of it. What I remember is getting stomach pumped and that was quite dramatic too, let me tell you!"
"Ah, but that was mostly self inflicted, though. With the alcohol you had in your system your body needed all the help it could get to flush the offending allergen out of its system…And also, purging oneself of a toxic can have psychological benefits as well... Look, Esme just walked through the door. Do you want to speak with her yourself or do you want me to fill her in on what's going on and have her call you back later?"
"Cushion the blow, you mean?" Edward could already hear his mother's voice in the background as she began firing off the expected triad of questions.
"Something like that...," Carlisle replied with a humorless chuckle. "You want me to put her on speaker phone?"
"Do I want to? NO. Do I need to? YES. Put her on before I lose my nerve," Edward sighed rubbing his face with his free hand. "I want her to hear it from me."
"Hear what, darling?" his mother asked with a wary, yet clueless tone of voice. "Carlisle is drinking whiskey and he hasn't touched that stuff in years. Is it bad news? Should I be sitting down for this?"
Here goes nothing, Edward thought drawing a nervous breath.
"You know how you're always telling us you wouldn't mind more grandkids?"
"Uhm, I should be sitting down, shouldn't I?" his mother asked again, clearly picking up on the underlying tone of seriousness in his words.
He weighed his next words extremely carefully, then delivered them softly, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll be bringing someone special around for you to meet on Christmas…"
There was a long silence on the phone… and then more silence….
"I won't lie, Edward, "his mother finally replied. "If you bring home a pregnant girlfriend and there is no ring on her finger I'll be mighty disappointed in you."
"No one is pregnant, Esme," Carlisle interjected with and calm, composed voice.
"That's a relief. I want grandbabies, but more than anything I want to see my baby happily settled. I don't want to see you forced into something you're not ready for. Babies are tough on relationships, even the best and the strongest!"
"It's not always that simple, mom."
"I know, honey. So, are you going to tell me about this girl you're bringing or do I have to call Alice?"
Carlisle cleared his throat in the background and Edward knew it was now or never….
"It's not a girl, mom. It's a boy. His name is Anthony, he's two years old and he is mine."
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Dear diary or diarrhea…
The baby from hell formerly known as Anthony is sick again, some sort of stomach bug this time and let me tell you it has been truly horrifying. Without getting too graphic, I'll just say it is coming out both ends at once.
He has been doing a little better today, but I haven't been able to work more than a few hours this last week. My next pay check is going to be next to nothing; meaning I'm going to have to move again, seeing as I'm already behind on my rent.
What I need is to find a couch to sleep on, or someone willing to sublet a really small, really cheap room for a month or two while I save up some money. That would be great. However who in their right mind would want to share living quarters with a single mom? I mean apart from the obvious answer… another single mom… Ugh, that's so not an attractive option! One screaming baby is more than enough… But wait, you're just a blank book, why would you care about my living arrangements? See, this is why I hate diaries, I always loose track of where I am. I'm trying to tell a story here dammit!
So, the summer of love…road tripping to NY… three club shows and a radio gig… Sounds like bunch of movie titles doesn't it? Ha, well it's not, it's just another diary entry, just another exercise in written self therapy… or whatever…
The radio gig was pretty uneventful. I guess it's best described as one of those outdoor music festival kind of events. We had been promised sunshine and 24 hours of fabulous live music but we ended up having to suffer through several hours of rough weather and horrendously bad pop acts before it was time for Edward and Jasper to enter the stage. They did a set of three song and as usual they kicked some serious ass. What a performance, but oh so short...
The third club show took us back to 'Forever Dawn' again, where Edward was scheduled to be the support act for some boy-band-member-gone-solo punk. I couldn't have cared less for the boybander, but by some random stroke of luck I had managed to score VIP tickets and backstage passes through a MySpace contest.
The backstage reception went by in a blur and the meet and greet session was, as expected really, really cheesy and boring. The boybander was about as charming as a brick, had as much personality as a cabbage, and was so hungover that I wanted to puke every time I saw - err…smelled- him.
I had hoped that Edward would pass through the backstage area to get to the changing rooms, but he never showed. I wasn't too disappointed, though, because me and Maria had a plan…
Remember those shiny VIP tickets? Maria reckoned we could get close enough to the stage to be able to capture a certain guitar-boy's attention. We made a sign, big bright letters on a pristine purple background, spelling out a proposition so blunt that he would have to be both blind and stupid not get the message…. I remember how…. I know…Fuck, my eyes are closing on me…
I guess that's what you get when you give up on your uppers. Even caffeine pills are a luxury I cant afford these days.…
Bedtime… More later….promise…
Love always,
Angela Cullen
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AN: So, Edward finally remembers something... Also, just to give you the heads up, he wasn't drugged. Carlisle will set the record straight on that one...
I'm obviously not a medical expert so I hope you can overlook if I've gotten the medical stuff wrong.
Speaking of which, someone asked how far along Bella is. She fell pregnant the very last week of august. The start date for this story was in November and now we're somewhere around mid December… that makes her *counts backwards* somewhere around 15 weeks along… She should be showing by now, right? I know it's different for everyone. A friend of a friend managed to pull of a wedding at 16 weeks without anyone knowing the happy couple had a baby on the way… or maybe it was just me who was clueless ;)