Season 3: Rebuilding Chapter 10: Into Darkness, an arrow fanfic

A/N: I'll admit, last chapter went through many different versions before I settled on the final one. I think it came out for the best in the end. Now, this chapter, and the flashbacks in particular, is a turning point I've been building towards since 'Episode 1'. Are you ready for the turn of the tide?

Synopsis: 6 weeks after the ordeal on Lian Yu, Felicity returns from recuperation abroad only to find that things have changed in her absence. Laurel is gone, Simon Cross' influence over QC is at an all-time high and Oliver has withdrawn from the public eye.

Flashbacks (or dreams, in this case, too) in Italics, as always.

I do hope you enjoy this chapter and the twists it provides!

3x10: Into Darkness

Oliver followed his running prey with the arrow. The compound bow was strung tight and the aim never lowered as he followed the fleeing target. In that second, he felt as one with the forest around him. He could feel the rustle of the leaves as the wind blew by, the scent of foreign berries to his left, the sweat against his back as the sun lingered in the sky above.

He exhaled slowly and released the arrow. As it left his bow, Oliver knew it would hit its mark. The notion didn't please him, as he had expected, but he calmly accepted the dark truth. It had to be done, after all. He watched the thin, sharp weapon soar through the air, heading in a straight line towards its target.

Oliver watched as the arrow pierced Slade's neck, and the man fell to the ground. Slade Wilson was dead.

Oliver awoke with a start. His chest heaved with a need for oxygen as the nightmare rewinded itself in his head. It was the same dream he'd had almost every night for the past weeks.

Every night he relived his encounter with Slade in the woods on Lian Yu, and it was almost exactly as it had been in reality. Almost, except that the dream ended with him killing Slade, instead of letting him flee.

Unable to go back to sleep, Oliver pushed back his covers and stepped out of bed. He padded bare-feet across his silent, dark flat as he listened to his own raggedy breathing fill the void. He stepped into the small kitchen and opened the fridge. The cool air helped to stabilize his mind and he inhaled deeply as he let the last remnants of the dream fade away with the coldness.

Oliver withdrew a bottle of water and took a deep swig. He leaned back against the counter as he felt his mind clear up once more.

Six weeks had passed since that day in Purgatory, six weeks since he'd almost killed his once friend and ally. 10 months ago, when he had spared Slade's life after he had attacked Starling City, everything had been different. Oliver had been on top of the world after that. The city had accepted him as a hero, and he'd even embraced that title for himself. He had made the right choice and saved himself, in a way, that time.

But when Slade had escaped from his cell to torment him once more, Oliver had started to question his mind and reasoning. He had let Slade live back then, and in return Slade had nearly killed Felicity. Oliver had come closer than ever to losing one of the most important people in his life, and it had driven him towards a steep edge from which there was no return.

When he'd learned Felicity had been taken to Lian Yu, he'd been terrified. The Island played with your mind and stripped you of your humanity, leaving you a cold-hearted monster. He had feared the worst. It wasn't her death that scared him the most, it was the loss of her soul. Felicity represented all that was good in his life, and Slade had all but ripped that part of his soul from his bleeding bones and crushed it to hopeless dust.

Even when they had found Felicity, and Oliver held her safe in his arms, he knew deep inside something had to change.

She had never been his to lose, but still he felt as if he had lost her in a way. He had to let her go, and everything else she represented. He had been the cause of her suffering, he had nearly cost her everything. In the grand scheme of things, he didn't deserve the innocence and humanity she brought into his life. He could see this clearer than ever before now.

Oliver knew he had fooled himself thus far in thinking that he could ever return from the Island and reclaim his life. The man he had once been was dead and buried on the Island, along with his humanity and heart. There was no point fighting the inevitable. He had thought he could be both Oliver and Arrow, but the whole ordeal with Slade had proven how wrong he'd been. He'd tried to put that part of him aside, and focus on the rest - focus on a relationship, focus on getting QC back, focus on family and friends - but it seemed fate had other plans for him. If he was to continue living, he had to choose one over the other. The choice, it seemed, had already been made for him.

Oliver glanced up at his clock on the kitchen wall. 04:13. He could use more rest, but he didn't much feel like going to back to sleep. Today was a big day. Five weeks ago, Felicity and Dick had gone to England to recuperate from their injuries and today they would return to Starling City. Five weeks without seeing her had been easy, it had given him time to turn off parts of his humanity and create much needed space. The thought of seeing her again felt harder. He'd had five weeks vacation from his heart, four if you counted from his goodbye with Laurel. That had been the final straw, in a way. Laurel had been his last link to the past, and when he'd cut that chord he'd released himself of 'Oliver Queen'. But that was another matter he didn't much like to linger on in his mind.

There was a strange tug in his heart as he pondered the coming day and Oliver tried to understand the sensation inside his chest. He felt meek excitement mix with trepidation and impassionate dismay. The emotions barely fazed him and he shrugged them off easily, as if nothing more than dust on his collar.

No, Oliver realized, he wasn't particularly looking forward to facing Felicity and Dick again.

4 weeks earlier

When the worst of her injuries had healed, the woman had left with Dick to recuperate and the town had felt empty without her. Somehow, her absence had only served to further drive a wedge in between Oliver and Laurel, though they never talked about it in so many words. Oliver preferred to turn a blind eye to the whole ordeal, as it was.

Oliver heard the knock on his door and lazily rose from his sofa and walked towards the door. He pulled it open and frowned at his surprise guest.

Laurel stood in the corridor outside, her long locks loose around her thin frame. She wore a white, leather jacket, a grey sweater, jeans and a scarf hung around her lean neck. Oliver's gaze fell to the item beside her feet. A large suitcase stood beside her, it seemed to expectantly await departure as he glared down at it.

He turned his confused glance back to the woman and watched as she drew a strengthening breath of air.

She managed a saddened smile as her dark eyes danced with emotion. "Can I come in for a second?"

Oliver hesitated a beat before he held open his door. "Sure."

The sun had but risen above the horizon when Felicity and Dick landed in Starling City. Home, as Felicity liked to call it. She'd breathed in the familiar air and felt comfortable in her skin for the first time in over a month. There was at least an ounce of truth in the old saying, she thought; There's no place like home.

The first order of business for Felicity had been just that; business.

Before long she found herself dressed for the office - in a pencil skirt, a pink blouse and flats - as she stepped inside the massive building that was Queen Consolidated.

As she rode the elevator towards the top in solitude, Felicity exhaled and filled her thoughts with memories of the past few weeks abroad to keep herself occupied.

She remembered back to when Jane had proposed the idea. Jane's former company, Deleon International, kept a steady exchange with a local spa in England, where their employees could come every once in a while to recuperate or rehabilitate in the calm and quiet country side. With Jane's help, Felicity had taken a shorter leave of absence and flown to England for some much needed respite.

Felicity had to admit, she had been hesitant about the idea at first, but it had done wonders to her soul. She'd enjoyed the peaceful location just outside of York, where there had been no interruptions or must-dos as she recovered from her injuries with a physical therapist and Dick's loving company.

The numerous cuts Slade had given her had stopped hurting by now, only the gun shot wound on her thigh pained her from time to time. Most of the wounds were already fading into gnarly scars she'd carry with her for the rest of her life. She was still getting used to seeing them glare back at her in the reflection. Slade had given her a particularly branding scar between her shoulder blades that she kept covered almost at all times. She'd grown accustomed to it by now, but had a feeling someone she knew would not take it as well.

Returning to the States had felt like the right time after five weeks abroad. She was well-rested, felt loved with Dick by her side and knew she couldn't escape the real world forever.

Truth be told, though, she wasn't entirely okay and still awoke from nightmares in the middle of the dark at times. She still had a rocky slope ahead of her, but she'd get there someday by putting one foot ahead of the other. Returning to reality felt both invigorating and terrifying at the same time.

Felicity wasn't sure what it was, but everything seemed to carry a surreal edge to it now as she looked upon her life. Six weeks ago she had thought she might die and today-

The elevator pinged and Felicity pulled herself out of her thoughts. She raised her chin high reflexively as she stepped out of the elevator. She steered to the left and walked towards the office of her most recent employer.

She managed a slight smile as she stepped into the glass office and Jane stepped out to meet her.

"Felicity," the Brit grinned and shook her hand in greeting. Sharply dressed as always, Jane cut quite the business figure this morning. "I'm glad to see you again."

Felicity followed the other woman towards the large desk as she explained, "I'm glad to be back. I wanted to thank you for arranging-"

Jane raised her hands then as she stepped around the workstation and said, "No need to thank me, dear. It was well-deserved," the blonde hesitated as she waded in the shallow waters, "...I hate to ask the cliche question; but how are you feeling?"

Felicity shuffled from one foot to the other as she remained standing before her boss. "Good."

Jane didn't seem like she entirely bought the charade, but played along nonetheless, "And you're sure you want to return to work on Monday?"

"Positive."

"...Alright," the Brit acknowledged with a smile. "If you say so."

There was a sharp knock on the door then and both women turned as Simon Cross stepped inside. The grey-haired man grinned as he stepped towards them with his usual grace and suave demeanor. Somehow, he always made Felicity's skin crawl. "Ah... Ms Smoak. Welcome back from your holiday."

"Rehabilitation," the blonde corrected automatically.

The man pretended not to have heard as he gazed about, pretending to search for someone. "You... didn't bring Oliver with you? What a pity," he drawled and his eyes sparkled. "I thought now that his ex-play toy had returned, so would he. Oliver's missed the last two board meetings, you see. It's a shame he's not taking his responsibilities seriously this time. Then again, who ever thought he would?"

Dumbstruck by the revelation, Felicity merely blinked. "... I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this."

"There is," Simon agreed with a fervent nod as he drew closer still. He stopped a few feet away from the EA and finished, "He's probably constantly hungover in bed."

"Was there something you wanted, Simon?" Jane interrupted with barely contained irritation.

The man chuckled lightly as he handed over the paper in his hand and said, "I need you to sign this and send it over to Stellmore this afternoon. If it's not too much trouble." Simon turned to leave, but stopped himself halfway to the door. He turned back and called, "Oh, and Ms Smoak? Remember to thank your friend for me. It seems he's finally understood what I knew all along. It's better to leave the real business with the grown ups."

The man flashed both women a carefree smirk before he turned around sharply and stepped out of the office, his expensive flats clicking against the cold floor as he went.

Felicity could merely blink. She was used to the language that came with chauvinistic pigs in the company, but it was the words and their reflection that startled her. She couldn't believe Oliver would... She cleared her thoughts as she turned back to watch Jane. The young Brit looked back at her with sympathy and compassion.

"It's true," Jane admitted at length. "I was just going to ask you about it before that prat came in. Oliver hasn't set foot in this building in over a month... He's not returning my phone calls. In fact, I haven't seen him at all since you left Starling. I need to discuss business with him, Felicity. I can't get this company back to him without his help. I thought it was time to move things along. I thought he could use the Charity fund he restarted and host a fundraiser soon. It would benefit him and QC."

Felicity nodded leisurely as she let the proposal settle. "… I'll talk to him about it."

"Cheers," Jane smiled and inclined her head. "See you Monday, Felicity."

"Bye."

As Felicity exited the building, Diggle waited outside. The body guard stood reclined against the side of his dark van by the curb. He seemed lost in the deep pools of his baby girl's eyes as the young one gazed about at the exciting new world he was showing her. The height that was the Queen Consolidated building seemed both terrifying and amusing to Maya, who gurgled enthusiastically.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise," Felicity smiled as she stepped over to join them. She stroked the girl's cheek and the little one turned to her and gasped loudly. Maya was still too small to talk, but still made a few appreciative sounds as she recognized the blonde woman.

"It's good to have you back," John smiled warmly, "Maya and I thought we could pick you up. Take you out to lunch."

Felicity felt the first genuine smile grace her lip that day. "I'd like that very much."

Felicity helped the man open the car door and watched as he settled the baby in her car seat. Certain she was all buckled up and safe, John stretched tall and gazed down at his friend. The warmth was replaced by concern as he lowered his voice an octave and breathed, "We have some things to discuss."

Felicity smiled tightly. "I figured as much."

Laurel inhaled deeply and glanced at Oliver who reclined on one of the chairs beside his table and patiently waited for an explanation. His eyes were open and honest as they faced her, but she could see the tension in his muscles, as if he was simply awaiting an excuse to shut off and turn on his protective shields once more.

Laurel sank onto the seat opposite from him and said, "I'm leaving town for a while. I worked things out with the DA's office. I'm taking an extended leave of absence..."

Oliver slowly nodded. "Okay... Why?"

"I need space from Starling City," Laurel sighed and felt the weight of the world fall from her shoulders. "I... don't know who I am in this place anymore. And someone recently suggested I needed to find myself anew, and that maybe I should try doing so away from this place. I'm not sure if it's the right decision, Oliver, but it feels like it right now."

"What will you do?"

"I'm going to Central City for awhile, to my mother's wedding," Laurel shrugged. "And then I'll stay in her apartment while she and Larry are on their honeymoon. After that..." the brunette paused briefly and a shadow crossed her face. "... I can't really say."

Oliver inclined his head slowly, accepting the unspoken and not pushing for more details.

"I had to see you before I left, Ollie," Laurel continued in a softer voice. "I couldn't leave you like this. You're like an empty shell. We got Felicity home... and still you're as far removed from the world as you've ever been. I want to understand why, Ollie. Please, talk to me. Just this once."

Oliver's gaze fell to the tabletop as he pondered her words and Laurel saw one wall after another raise between them.

Thrown right back into the deep end of the pool, Felicity inhaled deeply and tried to collect her mind as she leaned back in the booth at Big Belly Burger. Roy had joined her and Diggle out for lunch, and the younger man sat opposite her, greedily eating his burger. Diggle sat beside the other man, feeding Maya who sat in a baby chair next to their little booth. To have a team lunch felt foreign, yet familiar territory, to Felicity, who tried to ease into the comfortableness before she pushed onward.

Realizing she couldn't postpone it any further, Felicity leaned her elbows on the countertop, pushing her half-eaten burger aside, and said, "Spill. Tell me everything. Don't spare me any details."

Roy and Diggle exchanged a look. Felicity shrugged her eyebrows. That had to be a bad sign. Impatiently, she waited for either or both of them to explain exactly what had transpired in the past six weeks she'd been gone. She was starting to get the feeling she'd ended up in the Twilight Zone somehow.

"... Where do you want us to start?" Roy asked tentatively as he slowly turned back to face the blonde.

"What about Thea?" Felicity asked. "Anything new?"

Roy's face fell. "Not much. We've crossed path a few times, but she won't let me in and she's being very secretive about everything. The only thing I know is that she doesn't want to see Oliver, and he seems okay with that."

Felicity frowned as she vividly pointed towards her ear and spoke, "I'm sorry, I must still have some barotrauma after the flight back. I thought you said he was 'okay' with it. He can't be... Is he?"

"He is," the young man sighed. "He hasn't really tried to make contact with her either."

"He loves Thea more than anything," the woman argued as the incredulousness of the situation settled in her brain. "I... I don't understand."

Diggle snorted and held her gaze. "You're not the only one..."

"Jane said she hadn't seen Oliver in six weeks," Felicity continued cautiously as she processed everything she'd learned up till this point. "And you're telling me he hasn't even seen his prodigal sister?"

"All he does is work, Felicity," John gruffly explained at the unspoken question that lingered in the tension. Concern touched the edge of his voice as he elaborated, "Not with Queen Consolidated. With Amanda Waller."

"So Arrow-business..."

Diggle inhaled as he held her gaze. He seemed to struggle with the words, but soon decided to share the news regardless. "There's more, Felicity."

"More?" she breathed.

"Laurel's gone."

"Gone? Where? Why?" Felicity questioned. She felt like she was participating in a twisted game of '20 questions' without ever signing up to play. What was going on here?!

John inclined his head leisurely. "She took an extended leave of absence and is staying with her mother in Central City for a while. I know she had a talk with Oliver before she left, but he doesn't want to say what it was about..."

"Oh..." Felicity sank back in her seat dumbfounded. "I thought… he loved her. That they… would…"

"They only needed closure," Diggle offered with a meek shrug as he gently stroked the top of Maya's head.

Worry consumed Felicity then, as she pondered it all. How the world seemed to have crumbled around her while she was gone.

Oliver strode into Amanda's office an hour after lunch. Dressed in jeans and a black tee, he still carried himself as if he wore a thousand dollar suit. He didn't much like spending time at the A.R.G.U.S HQ, but today he was willing to make an exception. Thinking back on it, he'd spent more time doing A.R.G.U.S bidding during this past month than he had in years. He still remembered Hong kong vividly, but preferred not to think back on those days anymore.

The woman in question sat stiff as a board while he closed the door behind him. She didn't say a word even as he turned back to face her. Not until he sank into the seat opposite her desk, did Amanda speak, "As you know, we kept Castor Barnes locked up after the failed casino robbery in Las Vegas."

"It wasn't a robbery," Oliver reminded her sourly, "He and his brother wanted me show my true colors."

Amanda tilted her head to the side as she pressed her lips into a tight line. "I am aware... Castor Barnes gave a confession this morning."

Oliver frowned as he leaned his elbows on his knees and pointed out, "You mean he 'broke under torture'."

The woman merely shrugged off the implication as she exhaled slowly. Her impassive eyes flared with irritation before she said, "He gave us the name of who had hired them for the job: Drake Constantin." Amanda handed her agent a small tablet and Oliver gazed down at the photograph of the man with olive skin, long, narrow nose and honest eyes. "Mr Constantin's an assassin with a thorough background in killing. He first took a life at the age of 8. He's trained martial art since he was 12. My sources say he's never been beaten in hand-to-hand combat. It's long been assumed Mr Constantin wants to climb the ranks and make something of himself. It seems now he's putting in the effort. Apart from the Barnes' twins, we also have reason to believe he hired the Blazing Infernos and made their car explode as they were about to give away Constantin's name to your colleague."

Oliver's gaze danced with contemplation as he let her words sink in. All the cases mentioned had one unmistakable connection. "... You're saying the actual target is me."

"Your secret identity, to be exact."

Oliver wet his lips as he pushed for more details. "And... Correct me if I'm wrong, but you said the Barnes' twins were involved with the computer shut down at Iron Heights that led to Doctor Death's escape. You think Constantin's the mastermind behind that, too?"

"Correct," Amanda nodded sharply. "We believe Seth Hellfern and Drake Constantine are allies. As you are aware, it is still imperative that we find Doctor Death before he can complete his mind-controlling drug and release it on the world."

"Everything's always about death and destruction with you, isn't it?" Oliver muttered.

"There are many powerful enemies out there who want to inflict injury on us, Oliver," Amanda snarled back, "I simply prefer being better than them. Now, if you find Mr Constantin he can give us Hellfern's position. I've already sent you the details of Constantin's last known address in the city. Do whatever you need to get the necessary information. That's an order, Oliver."

"It always is," Oliver breathed gruffly as he rose from his seat and exited the room without uttering another word.

"Hey," Dick breathed as he saw his girlfriend walk towards him. He rose from behind his desk and waved down at the pile of paperworks that rested precariously upon it. "I'm just about done."

"I can see that," Felicity breathed in jest as she eyed the pile. Dick leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss before taking a step back. Felicity could see the trepidation shine bright within her boyfriend's eyes. She knew he was worried about her health and general well-being. He'd been nothing but attentive after the ordeal with Slade, and Felicity was grateful, she really was. But there was something else in his eyes, a constant flicker of guilt perhaps, that he refused to comment upon.

"Felicity?"

The woman turned as she heard her name being called out across the police station. She saw Quentin step out of an interrogation room and walk down the corridor towards the busier parts of the station to meet her. Detective Lance stopped a few feet away from Dick's desk and seemed to glow with relief of seeing the woman present before him.

"Quentin," Felicity smiled up at the older man. "I was hoping to run into you."

The man grinned tensely as his eyes traveled across her form, looking for any sign of injury or pain no doubt. His almost fatherly concern touched Felicity in a way that she felt unaccustomed to. She'd never experienced fatherly protection before, and she had to remind herself she was reading too much into it. The grin on his face seemed less tense as he didn't notice any pained features or a limp. "And I was hoping the same... How are you? I mean; really?"

"As good as new," the blonde promised in a bright voice that didn't quite seem to belong to her. Quentin shrugged his eyebrows in disbelief as he held her gaze captive. She cleared her throat and shrugged, her tone more genuine as she admitted in a low voice, "Mostly, anyway. It comes and goes."

Quentin nodded in understanding and reached out to squeeze her slender shoulder. His hand stayed on her coat-clad shoulder a second longer as he gently breathed, "I know the feeling. If you ever want to talk..."

As his voice drifted into nothing, Felicity smiled. "I know."

"We're overdue for another burger, I believe," the man suggested at length. "How about next week?"

Felicity nodded cheerfully and it seemed enough to break the last of the tension as Quentin returned her smile, too. The detective waved his thumb in Dick's direction and said, "Now take your boyfriend home for the day. He's done enough for his first day back."

"Thanks, Detective," Dick inclined his head as he reached for his thick jacket that hung on a rack behind his desk. "Coffee on me tomorrow morning, right?"

"You know it, Grayson," Quentin said. "Take care, Felicity."

"You, too," the blonde smiled and watched the detective walk away. There was something about his body language that seemed off. With Laurel out of town, Felicity wondered if the man felt lonely.

Dick whispered into her ear, "Ready to head for the lair."

She shook herself from her thoughts as she remembered the reason for her visit. "I am. And I have to tell you something about Oliver on the way."

"Whoa..." Felicity breathed as she stepped down into the lair. "Where's the fire?"

Oliver was already dressed in his green leather, though the clock was still early night and it was hours before he usually made his entrance into the vigilante world. Roy was scrambling by the weapons cabinet to retrieve his usual arsenal. The younger man, too, was dressed in his red outfit for the night, his mask hanging askew around his neck as he withdrew a tranquilizing gun. He inclined his head towards the approaching couple.

Felicity glanced further into the lair and saw Diggle leaned back against her workstation, his arms crossed over his sturdy chest as he watched the other two men prepare to head out. John merely shrugged as he met the woman's gaze, and the wordless conversation gave her more answers than she'd bargained for.

She turned back to face the last man. Oliver stood over by his glass case, with his tense back towards her as she stepped into the middle of the open main area. He visibly inhaled before he turned around. Their eyes met across the divide and Felicity nearly did a double-take at what she saw in his azure pools. Nothing. She didn't see anything - not happiness of her return, not concern for her rehabilitation process. There was hardly a recognition as he kept his posture cool and took a step towards her.

"Hey..." he breathed at length, but even his voice sounded inhuman. "... Welcome back."

"What's going on here?" Felicity asked wearily as Dick came up to stand beside her. "What's the rush?"

"Waller gave us a name that might bring us closer to Doctor Death," Roy clarified when no one else spoke up. "FYI: I'm still not a fan of that villain name."

"Drake Constantin," Oliver explained tensely. "Waller's information on the man proved vital. I can catch him tonight and find out what he knows about Seth Hellfern."

"Constantin?" Dick frowned. "I know that name. That man's lethal. I'm assuming you have a good plan to bring this man down, do you? Because he won't go down without a fight."

"Suit up or you won't find out," Oliver shrugged and threw the Escrima stick towards Dick.

The police man caught the weapon deftly in his palm as he held the other man's eyes. Dick's frown deepened as he hesitantly nodded. "... I'll go change."

The lair was silent as the man stepped out and Felicity's eyes travelled back Oliver on the other side of the room. She took a slow step towards him and whispered, "Can we talk?"

"Not now, Felicity," Oliver brushed her off as he slung his quiver over one shoulder and fastened it properly. "After we come back."

The sun had barely set behind the horizon as the three vigilantes found themselves running across the rooftops of Starling City. Their feet flew across the cold ground as they chased the shadow. Waller's information had proved correct in the end, but they hadn't caught Mr Constantin unprepared. He had basically set his apartment on fire before fleeing to the roof tops, the three masked vigilantes close on his heel.

Oliver was the fastest runner of the three and he knew he was catching up to the escaped man. Blood pumped through his veins and filled his body with a will to fight. He willed his body to move faster and was soon only a few yards behind his prey. Sensing his close call, Constantin ducked out of the way and leaped onto the roof to their right.

Before Oliver could correct his movement, he saw Nightwing come up next to him and jump ahead. Dick whipped his Escrima stick in the direction of the enemy and the blow threw Constantin down towards the hard roof top.

Constantin coughed as he glanced up at the figure that hovered above him, "Well, well... Aren't you a boy wonder?"

"I try to be," Dick mocked.

The man suddenly flew from the ground with an agility that hadn't been expected and attacked Dick without a moment's hesitation.

Constantin moved fast and fluently, one punch flowing seamlessly into a sharp kick. Dick tried to parry everyone of the moves, but lost his Escrima stick in the battle. The weapon clattered as it rolled into the shadows of the night. With a ferocious kick, Dick fell to the ground with a moan.

Oliver fired an arrow then, but it Constantin whirled around just in time to catch it in the palm of his hand. He grinned wickedly as he tossed the useless weapon aside.

He barely had any time to recover as Roy leaped towards him from the shadows. Less trained than the others, Roy threw several punches that seemed to catch the martial arts master off-guard. Constantin merely staggered before he deftly caught hand of Roy's wrist and turned. Roy howled in agony as he sank onto his knees.

"You need to learn more tricks, kid," Constantin growled before he knocked the red vigilante unconscious.

Despite having seen the man's obvious skill, Oliver didn't hesitate as he flew towards the man. The two dueled on the open rooftop with matching capabilities. Both were trained in the sacred art and were able to foresee the others move seconds before it came and managed to block or step out of the way nearly every time.

Thunder bolted through Oliver's heart, however, and he could feel the victory was close at hand. In the end, he managed to throw the man over his shoulder. Constantin slammed against the ground and before he could get up, Oliver crouched behind him. Oliver caught the man's neck in a reverse chinlock and held on tight.

"I know you're behind it all!" Oliver growled in his Arrow voice. "I know you've been trying to kill me and I know you're working with Seth Hellfern to distribute his drug. Tell me were I can find Hellfern or I'll break your neck!"

"Oliver! Wha-" Felicity's voice sounded over the comms, but Oliver muted it without a second's hesitation before he fastened his hold around the enemy's throat.

Constantin chuckled despite the tight grip around his neck and seized to struggle. "The Blazing Infernos... The Iron Heights breakout... Slade Wilson..." Oliver's grip tightened reflexively at the mention of the name, but Constantin continued to calmly mock, though his voice came strained with the exertion, "The oncoming storm... It's not my work. I can't wait until you meet your opponent. You'll be surprised, I guarantee."

"Give me a name," Oliver snarled.

"You're as good as dead already," Constantin simply teased and unsuccessfully wrung himself to get loose.

"No, but you are!" Oliver breathed as he applied more pressure around the man's neck. Constantin made low choking noises as he writhed in pain.

Out of the shadows, a small item came flying towards them both. The sharp weapon in the shape of a bat hit Constantin square in the chest and he drew a couple of shaky breaths as his eyes drifted close. Oliver felt the body slump over in his arms as the breathing subsided. Drake Constantin fell dead agains the cold rooftop.

Oliver raised his disbelieving gaze and looked at Dick's approaching form. The other man was wearing an unreadable look in his eyes that only further served to push Oliver towards the ledge. He jumped from the ground as fury drove him forward.

"You're not me, Oliver," Dick breathed and his eyes flashed with anger.

"You shouldn't have gotten in my way!" Oliver growled as he stalked towards his ally.

Dick pushed the man back. "I didn't do it for you."

"He knew who hired Slade!" Oliver hissed. "... You shouldn't have stopped me."

"Killing him wouldn't have been revenge, Oliver. It wouldn't have solved anything," Dick disagreed and nodded towards the unconscious vigilante over on the side. "I'll grab Roy. Let's go."

As Dick, Roy and Oliver returned to the lair, Felicity was standing by the stairs awaiting them. "What was that?" she questioned.

"A mission," Oliver explained simply as he brushed past her.

Felicity stared after him with her mouth hanging open as she tried to understand. As he stepped further into the lair, Felicity faced the other men. Roy was limping and was holding his wrist close to his chest.

Dick kept a sturdy hand on his young friend's shoulder as he explained, "We'll get changed and then I'm taking Roy to the hospital. It looks like it could be a fraction."

Felicity nodded and watched as Dick led Roy towards the back of the lair. As soon as they were out of sight, she slowly turned towards her partner. Oliver lingered in the middle of the room. He was still clasping his bow in one hand and had but discarded his mask on the table top beside him. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he breathed tensely. It seemed he knew he had done something wrong and was expecting her berating.

Diggle stood by the monitors and met Felicity's gaze over Oliver's head. With a sharp inhale, Felicity strode towards the man in the center of the room, "I repeat; what was that, Oliver? We're back to putting the Fear of God into people?"

"We are," Oliver replied cooly.

"Why?"

Oliver glanced down at the woman and his eyes suddenly held a storm of emotion as he replied, "Because it's my way, Felicity."

"Not anymore, it isn't!" Felicity argued fervently and stood her ground. Without her heels, she became abundantly clear exactly how small she was next to Oliver Queen, but she pretended not to notice as she stepped even closer. "... Please, talk to me, Oliver."

"There's nothing to say."

"Diggle says you've been spending all your time working as the Arrow while I was away. Why?" Felicity pleaded and hoped her tone would reach through Oliver's raised walls, but he barely seemed fazed by her desperate attempts.

"The city needs me."

Diggle took a step towards them as he raised his voice, "What about what you need, man? You can't continue like this."

Oliver shook his head in disagreement as he held his shoulders tensely and exhaled. He didn't say a word and the silence reigned in the lair as the others waited for an explanation.

In the end, Felicity made another attempt, "I heard about Laurel. And Thea. And Jane says she's been trying to contact you with a business idea. A charity fundraiser. It could be good for business and bring you a step closer to reclaiming Queen Consolidated."

Oliver shook his head. "Oliver Queen is never good for business."

John shrugged his eyebrows. "Back to third person, are we?"

"What do you mean…? Never?" Felicity frowned up at the man close beside her and tried to search his impassive face for any sign of the man she knew and cared for. "Of course you are. Can be. That's the point of getting your company back, isn't it? So that you can do the right thing?"

"Maybe the right thing is to stay away from QC, Felicity."

The woman was silent a couple of seconds, before she tried her voice, "… You're giving up QC? Why? It's yours."

"Maybe Simon Cross should keep it," Oliver admitted with a defeated sigh.

Felicity exchanged another look with Diggle. She searched for the right words as she turned to face Oliver once more, "I'm sorry, but I must have be having a nightmare. You didn't just say that, did you?"

"It wasn't your fault," Laurel contended firmly. "It was Slade's doing. All of it."

"No, I'm to blame," Oliver disagreed and rose from the chair to get some distance.

"Why... do you say that? You've done nothing wrong."

"But I have, Laurel! I've done everything wrong..." Oliver shook his head as he kept his back turned towards the woman and his voice dropped an octave. "My biggest mistake was thinking I can be anything other than I am. Slade's escape and kidnap of Felicity... It made me realize who I really am underneath. That living under two names... doesn't work. That maybe it's time I made a choice... Except, there's not really a choice for me."

Laurel's face fell and she, too, rose to face his fears, "I don't believe that, Oliver. It's not true!"

"I admit, I was a fool for clinging to the past, Ollie," Laurel continued when the man didn't react. "But you're doing the same thing now. I don't know what you went through to become the man who left the Island two years ago. But you're not that man anymore! You have to let go of the past to embrace the future... And we both know who's in your future. Who you are so scared of admitting your feelings for because she represents an actual life to you. Someone you could love and cherish for the rest of your days... As both Arrow and Oliver."

Oliver paused as he turned back around to face the woman. Silence descended between them as he gazed across the chasm that seemed wider than ever between them.

"No..." he breathed at length. "I can't be both anymore. I can only be Arrow from here on out."

The initial intervention with Oliver had been cut short as Dick and Roy had rejoined the group. Diggle had promised the men he could drive them to the hospital and then he'd head home to his ex-wife and child. The three men had quickly and quietly left the lair. Even as they left, the air felt stale with tension.

Felicity lingered in the lair, getting reacquainted with her computers after weeks apart and running standard updates of the systems. Oliver was still present, too. He'd changed from his green leather and was sharpening a few arrows by his own workstation. His compound bow lay discarded on the table top next to him.

After half an hour in silence, Felicity huffed out a breath of air. She couldn't go on like this, not after everything they'd been through. She needed him to return to her, and she whirled around in her chair. "Is this about Laurel?"

Oliver shook his head. "No."

"... Slade?" the word tasted funnily in her mouth and on its own made her shiver. Memories of his torture of her were still too fresh on her mind and she tried to suppress it.

"Felicity..." Oliver breathed tensely. "Let it go."

Felicity hesitated in her seat as she tried to calm her nerves. She hid her emotions behind a thin veneer as she rose and took a tentative step towards him, "You're... What happened wasn't your fault, Oliver."

"Yes, it was."

"No," Felicity persisted. "It was Slade's fault. What he did to you, what he did to me..." she swallowed and stepped closer still towards his stiff form. "It wasn't our fault. You can't let him win like this. You can't shut off everything and let him consume you. You're not just the Arrow."

The man had yet to turn around to face her, but his tense profile told her she was pushing some serious buttons. "I am the Arrow, Felicity!"

"You're also Oliver Queen!"

Oliver shook his head as he angrily whispered, "Not anymore. I can't be both, Felicity."

"Of course you can."

"I tried to kill Slade!" he hissed. "I am just a killer!"

Felicity remained in the back as she felt her own cup fill to the brim. Flustered, she breathed, "But you didn't kill him!"

"Not for a lack of trying!" he all but shouted at her as he tried to keep a lid on his anger. He knew he'd never get her to see things the way he did, but he couldn't give her hope about this either. "I'm not… I can't be both Oliver and Arrow. I've lost too much."

As she saw his anger rise like a tide, Felicity drew a shaky breath, "I've told you once and it's worth repeating; You're not irredeemable, Oliver!"

"I am. There's no going back, Felicity!" he spun around in his chair and accidentally knocked the bow to the ground. It clattered loudly in the enclosed space and Oliver sighed. He picked it up and glanced back at his company.

Felicity stood immobile in the middle of the open area, her wide eyes caught in a distant memory and her body seemingly frozen in fear.

Oliver recognized the look and flew from his seat in a heartbeat, "Felicity!"

Laurel slowly stepped towards the man and held his gaze captive, reluctant to lose her friend to his demons. "... You can be a hero and have a personal life, Oliver. You can be with her and still keep her safe. You're just afraid-"

"No, Laurel," Oliver growled.

"It's true, Ollie!" Laurel argued back. "She is your future! I said it once; you and I will keep each other in the past. You will either be stuck as Ollie or Arrow, and I... will grow to dislike everyone, including myself. We're not those people anymore, and it's time we both accepted that and looked to the future. We've both come such a long way, Ollie... I'm so proud of the man you've become."

"... And I couldn't have been prouder of you, Laurel," Oliver sighed at length. "Let's... not argue over this. You do have a bright future ahead, Laurel, and I... I wish you all the best. Tommy. I wish Tommy was still alive... He would have made you happy."

Laurel's eyes clouded with tears as she slowly nodded. "... Yeah. Maybe. And I'll always love him, too. But... I can't be stuck in the past. I need to find a new path that doesn't pull me towards darkness... and that's why I need to get away. At least for a little while."

Oliver saw the raw emotion flicker in her eyes and felt his own heart constrict. He firmly disagreed, "You're not filled with darkness, Laurel. On the Island, you stopped me from killing Slade."

"… I think we both know what stopped you." Laurel sighed and flashed him a sad, but heartfelt, smile.

Oliver inclined his head slowly as he read between the lines, "This is about Felicity."

"Oliver…" Laurel breathed and clasped his hand in hers. She squeezed it tight as she held his gaze. "The two of you make heroes of each other. It's… not something you see every day. Don't waste that opportunity because you're afraid to love. I only want to see you happy, Ollie. You deserve it more than anyone."

Oliver saw Felicity's muscles tense more and more as he flew towards her. As if standing on a mine, she didn't budge a centimeter. He recognized all the tell-tale post-traumatic stress syndromes of a panic attack. It must have been the sound of the bow clattering heavily against the floor that had triggered it. His heart filled with agony for her as he saw her get lost deeper and deeper in her own eyes.

As his hand touched her arm, she violently flinched. Terrified she punched him and tried to run, but he caught her around the waist and pulled her close to him. Her back pressed against his chest and he held on tight as she trashed and tried to get loose.

"I-It's Slade," she cried in panic. "He wants to kill me. He has a gun- Let go! Please!"

Her veins were still filled with ice and she struggled to breathe as he held in her place. She could see Slade's sneering face before her, the gun raised and aimed straight at her. She'd heard the sound of the gun minutes before and knew he was close behind. She had to get out. She had to run. She could feel him run his blade across her stomach, letting her blood spill as pain invaded her body.

Oliver closed his eyes tight as he tried to calm her, "Sch, sch..."

"Let go!" the woman cried but her struggling subsided just a fraction.

"Sch…" Oliver breathed and felt grief and guilt slither around his heart like a snake. He couldn't let her go now. He couldn't step back as he had hoped. He had to hold on. "It's okay. You're okay. We're in the Lair. You're off the Island. You saved yourself that day, remember? You got away from him. Slade's gone. You're safe."

"No, Oliver, I-" Felicity choked and fell heavier in his arms as she stopped fighting him. She sank towards the floor and Oliver followed, still holding onto her tight.

"Sch. I'm sorry. I dropped the bow and it clattered, I should have-" Oliver stopped himself. This was no time to play a martyr. Instead he returned the focus to her as he held her closer. He leaned his cheek against her ear as he whispered, "Just relax. Focus on breathing. Breathe with me Felicity… Breathe in… and Breathe out."

She followed his lead wordlessly and he felt her slowly relax in his arms, one breathe at a time. They sat like that for another couple of minutes, before she sighed heavily. Her hand fell to cover his where it rested over her stomach and the last of her panic attack subsided.

Relieved that she had returned to him, Oliver also exhaled. "I'm sorry, Felicity. I shouldn't have... I should have..."

"… Don't leave me," she pleaded in a low, trembling voice that caught his attention better than if she had yelled at him. "Don't give in like this. I need Oliver."

Oliver struggled with his resolve and closed his eyes against the tormenting path that waited ahead. He'd tried to shut himself out, and with it her - but he'd been fooling himself. He could never shut Felicity, no matter how hard he tried. He would always do everything for her, and he was through pretending otherwise.

Ultimately, he sighed in defeat, "... I won't."

"Y-you said you couldn't go back," she breathed. "So don't. Move forward. One step at a time. With me."

"Okay..."

"Say it."

"Together..." Oliver whispered. "One step at a time."

"I-it won't be easy. I know. For either of us," Felicity promised and glanced at the man that sat behind her. He released her then so that she could turn and she smiled faintly through her fading panic and sorrow. "But I won't leave you."

Oliver nodded as he held her gaze across the small divide that separated them. "And I'll stay here, too."

"Thank you, Oliver."

"You have nothing to thank me for."

"Not nothing; everything," she whispered and held his gaze.

Oliver tried not to get lost in the bottomless pools and lowered his eyes to the floor. He was a long way from crossing the final distance and he knew it. He pulled himself off the ground and helped her stand up, too. He looked down at her and tried to read the emotions in her eyes. "...Are you feeling better?"

She smiled and tugged a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Much."

Oliver pulled back from her with a tight grin. "I'll drive you home. Well, to Dick's place."

Felicity's smile fell briefly before she nodded. "Thanks."

Oliver watched as the arrow pierced Slade's neck, and the man fell to the ground. Slade Wilson was dead.

Oliver woke up at once. The nightmare still plagued him, despite it all, and he ran a weary hand across his face as he tried to shake off the lingering hold of the dream world. One step at a time, he had promised Felicity. In truth, he knew it was more: one step forward, two steps back.

A part of him still believed that he had to make the choice; between Oliver and Arrow. There was no other way to move forward. He couldn't be the man he had once strived to be, he couldn't leave the Island in the past and live a happy, normal life. He had a feeling it didn't matter who tried to fix him, he was broken beyond repair anyway.

Still, he had promised not to let that part of him go, and so he would have to find a way to endure the coming storms. He only hoped he wouldn't disappoint Felicity and the others too much in the end. Perhaps they'd all see it too, how he wasn't fit to be Oliver any longer after all of the errors he'd made in his life.

To be continued!