"Why did Peeta call you this early in the morning?" Finnick asks me when we're seated at his kitchen table, stuffing our mouths with breakfast deliciousness.

"Because Katniss was…" I start, tentatively looking at Annie who's not exactly paying attention, "kind of upset."

Apparently Annie was listening to me. "Why was she upset?"

"Bad dream I suppose." I dismiss the whole Katniss thing with an impatient wave of my hand.

"And what did he say, about everything else?" Finnick asks. One look at him and I know he's on to me about the real reason Peeta called.

"He talked about Haymitch being a drunk again, about how he's slowly adapting to life after the war. Stuff like that."

I quickly eat the rest of my cereal and then say that I have to go.

"Why?"

"Because it's my first day of work, and Tyree is expecting me at the docks in twenty minutes, and I have no idea where the docks are so I'll just have to guess which is why I need twenty minutes."

Annie looks confused. "You're going to work for Tyree? But he's a fisherman."

"I know," I nod. "Guess I'll have to get over my fear once and for all."

Finnick smiles encouragingly. "Good luck. And just follow the beach to the left, you'll find the docks soon enough."

"Thanks," I say, quickly throwing two kisses in their direction and heading off.

Finnick was right, it doesn't take long at all to find the docks. I can already see them and I've only been walking for about ten minutes now. My first day and I'm already early. Good job, Jo.

"Good morning," I say cheerfully when I spot Tyree carrying a net filled with fish.

"Morning to you too," he replies.

I point to the net. "You already went fishing?"

"Yeah," he says, "I figured it'd be easier if your first day didn't involve a whole lot of water. So we're just going to gut and scale these little ones here."

I follow Tyree to a table outside of what looks like a big storehouse. He gives me a knife and gloves, and drops one of the fish in front of me.

"Okay, keep your left hand on the tail, and use your knife to wipe away the scales in the opposite direction."

I watch as Tyree shows me how to do it and then try for myself. It's surprisingly easy, but the stench is horrible.

"You'll get used to it," Tyree laughs, having guessed my thoughts. "Make sure you have all the scales. They're not that tasty."

I nod and continue, trying not to laugh at the fish's face.

When I'm done Tyree picks up my fish - who I've mentally named Edgar because he's the first and should be remembered - and checks how well I've done.

"Not bad," he mutters. "Okay, now slice open the lower side of the fish with the tip of your knife."

I do as I'm told and crunch my nose in the process.

"It's going to get worse," Tyree says in response to my face.

"Oh joy…"

"Now put your hand inside the cut you've just made."

I look up. "What?"

"Like so," he says, putting his own fingers inside the fish and grabbing all the guts and pulling them out.

"That's disgusting."

"I know, just do it."

"Fine," I mutter, not wanting to be a total wuss on my first day. "What about the head?" I ask once I've gutted Edgar.

"Sometimes we only remove the gills, because they don't taste well, but this time the whole head has to go."

He picks up a large knife and in one blow removes the head of his fish.

"Now you," he says as he hands me the knife. "It's the most fun you'll have when scaling and gutting a fish, so enjoy it."

"Okay, boss."

And he's right. It's strangely satisfying to swing that knife and see the head falling to the floor.

"And there you go, perfect job for your first time!"

I turn around, waving headless Egdar in the air while doing a strange but happy dance.

"You look ridiculous," Tyree laughs.

"Shut up and let me dance with my fish."

And there's that smile again, the one that seems so familiar. The one that makes my breath hitch without me knowing why.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Tyree suddenly asks when I've stopped dancing.

I cough and put Edgar in the bucket next to the table. "Like what?"

"You just look so confused every time I laugh, or that time at the beach when we were talking about how messed up Victors really are, or when I reminded you that you are 'Johanna fucking Mason'."

I look back up and have to squint a bit because the glaring sun is blinding me. "I don't know, there's just something so familiar about you. I can't really put my finger on it and it's very frustrating."

"Familiar?"

"The things you say, the way you act...," I sum up while taking another fish from the other bucket. "It's just odd."

"Maybe I remind you of Finnick. The District 4 attitude is definitely different. We're quite charming, you know."

I shake my head. "No, it's not Finnick you remind me of. I mean, sure, you look a bit like him with your tanned skin and eyes but you're also much more muscular, have longer hair which is not bronze but blonde and -"

And in that moment it hits me. Another face worms itself into my mind. A arrogantly smiling face that I had blocked out for such a long time I almost completely forgot about it. The cutting knife and fish both fall to the floor as I stumble backwards, suddenly reminded of the corruption of the Capitol, the hurt and anger they made me feel, their carelessness with regard to life.

"I'm sorry," I manage to say to Tyree. "I have to go."

And by the way, that wink was meant for you.

"Wh-? Johanna?"

I run as fast as I can, bumping into someone every now and then without muttering an apology, until I get home. I remove the gloves I'm still wearing and run upstairs, to my room. I yank open the doors of the wardrobe and begin pulling out every piece of clothing, while frantically mumbling nonsense. Shorts, tops, blouses, even dresses Finnick somehow got me to buy… Everything lands on the floor. I'm just about to give Annie an angry call for asking where the hell my sweater is when I remember I haven't had that particular sweater in over two years. The last time I wore it was the evening before the Quarter Quell. After the Quarter Quell Games, I never saw my Capitol clothes again. Not even the sweater, and definitely not the note that had been in one of the pockets since my first year as a mentor.

I sink to the floor, and start sobbing uncontrollably while clutching the useless items of clothing on the floor.

"No," I hear myself whimper uncharacteristically. "No, no, no."

Come on, don't be a pussy. You're Johanna fucking Mason.

"Johanna!"

I look up when I hear Finnick's panicky voice.

"What's wrong?" he asks me while walking around the bed to get to me.

I look at him with tear-filled eyes. "Dustin," is all I need to say for him to join me on the ground and pull me into a hug.