A/N: Sorry about the long wait! University is trying to kick my ass, but I managed to squeeze in a new chapter.

A soft knock on my bedroom door awakes me from my sleepless night.

"Hey," I hear Finnick say in an even softer voice. "Are you awake?"

"Of course," I whisper back.

It's been a couple of days since my breakdown, and somehow I can't get over it. Somehow, Dustin keeps wandering around in my mind, winking and grinning, and roaring with laughter, and I can't get him out, no matter how hard I try.

I feel the mattress sink in when Finnick moves to sit next me and takes my hand in his.

"Tyree stopped by today," he says.

I avoid his gaze and sigh. Yes, Tyree had crossed my mind, especially because he was kind of the one that sparked my memory of Dustin, but he's not important right now. And not to sound completely lame, but nothing really is in my life, except for Finnick. As much as Panem tried to move forward after the Capitol fell, not much has changed. Sure, there aren't that many peacekeepers walking around, watching your every move and randomly shooting people. But life hasn't changed. Maybe I expected it to change, or maybe I didn't really count on seeing the future. I just didn't expect it to stay like this.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

I finally turn around to look at Finnick and nod. "Yes, Tyree stopped by today. What did you tell him?"

Finnick clears his throat. "Well, he said he felt like he had to give you some time, because obviously something happened. But he's curious."

"It's none of his business," I reply matter-of-factly, turning around again.

"I agree, but he is your boss. He wants to know when you're coming back to work. And don't you think it's possible that he, I don't know, cares?"

"Aw come on!" I suddenly groan. "I can't think about work right now."

I know I completely ditched the caring-part of what Finnick said about Tyree, but that's because I don't want to think that he cares. It's just easier to not care at all, and not having anyone caring about you. And Tyree caring is not what I want.

Luckily, Finnick picks up on my attempt to avoid that particular topic. "Well, then I guess you have a problem, because you'll have to think about work."

I immediately look back up at Finnick, because his response is suddenly harsh and it surprises me. "What?"

He has a stern look in his eyes. "It's time for you to grow up."

"Excuse me?" I breathe, feeling somewhat confused and angry.

"Johanna, you're twenty-two years old, you have a new life that you were finally starting to enjoy. Instead of always sinking back into the past, live your life again."

"That's easy for you to say, you have your perfect little family going on!"

His expression softens as quickly as it had hardened. "And you're part of my family, remember? Plus, I have had losses too."

My words come out almost like a whisper and a yell at the same time. "But you never lost Annie."

Finnick nods and throws his arm around my shoulder. "I lost her in a different way, but I know it's not the same. I'm sorry about Dustin, Jo."

I roll my eyes in a pathetic attempt to look tough. "You're a bit late. He died four years ago."

"I know, but you blocked him out of your memory for so long, that you're going through the mourning process right now."

I think about what he just said for a moment, and realize that he's right. The moment the seventy-second Hunger Games were over, and I had my almost-physical fight with president Snow, I tried to forget Dustin. And it was surprisingly easy because I didn't have a bragging and taunting Cashmere in District 7, and Dustin had no family members who could glare at me every time I stepped outside. Sure, everyone else cared, but only for a second. The people in District 7 were used to losing. So without anyone caring, I could block out every Dustin-related memory.

"So what did you tell Tyree," I quickly change the subject before Finnick can try to offer me even more comfort in the form of psychological crap, which would definitely make me cry, and I don't cry.

"I told him you had some issues, and that you would tell him when you wanted him to know. It's not my place to talk to him about you or the people you love."

"Loved," I correct him.

"Don't try to downgrade it, Jo," Finnick says, placing a kiss on my temple. "I was there, I know what happened. As much as you hate to admit it, you did love him. You still do, otherwise you wouldn't lock yourself up in your bedroom for almost a week."

"It was so much easier when it was just you and me," I sigh.

"I know. And it's still just you and me, only with others too. But we're the center, alright? So come on, let's get out of this room."

As much as Finnick tries to cheer me up, or comfort me, I still feel sad. And right now it feels like part of me will always stay sad for everything that happened in the past.

"Do you want me to call Peeta?"

I frown at him as I get up from, or rather roll off, the bed. "Why would you call Peeta?"

"Because right now, letting you talk to Peeta looks like the only solution to get you out of here."

"I'm out of bed. What else do you want from me? Besides, I can't talk to Peeta about this, he doesn't know."

When Finnick doesn't answer immediately – something he usually does – I look up. "He does know?"

Finnick nods. "I told him yesterday."

"What happened to It's not my place to talk to him about you or the people you love?"

"Come on," Finnick starts in his don't-do-this-to-me-Johanna-voice, "This is Peeta. He's different from Tyree."

"Doesn't matter. Finn, you don't just go around telling people my secrets! Ugh, you can be so stupid sometimes!" I groan angrily.

"Your secret," Finnick starts with a roll of his eyes, but then he holds his hands up in defeat, eyebrows raised. "But fine, I'm not going to say anything anymore because I know it's just the grief and sadness talking, in a very angry voice I might add, and that you're not thinking clearly right now. So I'm going back home. See you later, sunshine."

I huff at his sarcastic pet name for me, and cross my arms over my chest. On a whim, I run downstairs and pick up the phone.

"Tyree, it's Johanna," I say as soon as I hear him pick up.

"Johanna!" he says, sounding a tad surprised. "How are you?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine, whatever" I say bluntly. "Listen, I'm coming back to work tomorrow, alright?"

"Um, sure, if that's what you want?"

"Okay. Oh and you don't have to go all pussy on me. It's time to get me on a boat."

I chew my bottom lip nervously as I hang up. Finnick's right, it's time to live my life again. I can't cling to the past anymore. Dustin will be difficult to let go, but my fear of water has to stop. Right now. It's the only thing I want to focus on from now on.

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