Ch.28: The Abused
The teens and the adults all fell in a heap onto the ground. Two landed on their feet silently.
If you guessed the two were the Bat-Family, you would be correct.
Robin laughed at his friends in a pile of limbs. Batman rolled his eyes, scanning the room. Thankfully, they were back in the Cave.
The Boy Wonder's laughter died out when he noticed something. "Uh… Bats… Where's Danny?"
"Why does the world hate me?" Danny whined at the Leaguers surrounding him. There was a minute while they studied him and their hostile faces turned astonished.
"Uh… Anyone notice he looks a lot like…" Red Arrow trailed off.
"Yeah… We noticed…" Flash commented.
"I look like whom?" Danny asked, raising an eyebrow and getting off the ground.
"You look like my protégé, Danny Phantom."
The teen spun around and found himself staring at Batman, Nightwing, and a nine-year-old Danny Phantom. The older of the two Dannys blinked and began clapping sarcastically. "Not only do I get put in another dimension with the League, but one with a mini-me!"
Danny face-palmed in exaggeration. "The world really does hate me for some reason…"
Batman raised an eyebrow at that. "Why would you say that?"
Danny placed a fist on his hip while the other waved around in the air. "Think about it this way. In my dimension, I am also a protégé to Batman, only I'm his second one while his first is Robin Dick Grayson and Rob is younger than me by, like, two years. And in my dimension, something bad has to happen to become Batman's protégé. So what bad thing happened in this dimension to cause mini-me to become your number whatever protégé?"
Batman raised an eyebrow again. Nightwing walked forward after grabbing a file and handed it to Danny. He merely skimmed it before throwing it behind him, seething. "Ooooffffff course…"
Nightwing patted his back. "You get used to it. What happened to you in your dimension?"
Danny slowly turned his head to Nightwing with a 'did-you-just-ask-me-that?' look. Nightwing smiled sheepishly and held up his hands in surrender. "You can totally tell us sometime later. That's ok."
Danny slowly turned his head away and face-palmed, yet again. "Ooooooohhhhhhhh, it hurts…"
Nightwing apologetically patted his back.
Mini-Danny walked up to Bigger-Danny. The smaller of the two placed his hands on his hips. "So you're me and I'm you?"
Teen-Danny nodded. "Pretty much. Dimensions are a very tricky thing."
Kid-Danny nodded.
"So, what're you like in this dimension?" Teen-Danny asked Kid-Danny.
"He a demon spawned from Satan with a tendency to prank every last known Leaguer and be plain annoying to everyone except the Bat-Family." Flash summed up.
"That sounds like me. Well… Me in my dimension which is me… ANYWAYS, my dimension people would have added being completely and utterly random with the ability to come up with plans in five seconds." Danny said, shrugging.
"He hasn't reached that level of awesomeness yet." Nightwing said, laughing.
Danny smirked and began leading the kid down the hall. "Mini-Me, you've got a lot to learn before my mentor figures out what went wrong with his stupid device which promptly got me here after… How many other dimensions? Seven, I think? Oh who cares? This is gonna be fun."
"We are all royally screwed." Red Arrow said, voice cracking and tears in his eyes.
"Do you know how to dance weirdly?" Teen-Danny asked Kid-Danny. The younger of the two shrugged. Teen-Danny shrugged and smiled. "Well Mini-Me, this is how you dance weirdly. And remember, when you're in public, always scream 'flash mob' before you do, ok?"
Kid-Danny nodded.
Teen-Danny smirked before turning on a beat box, screaming 'flash mob', and beginning to dance. He did the electric slide, then the disco, before doing a tango with an invisible person. The Mario-Kart Nintendo song was playing in the background.
Kid-Danny laughed at his older self's really bad dancing and just the complete irony of the song.
"Your turn kid!" Teen-Danny said and Kid-Danny began dancing really badly with his counterpart.
"Great… I'm going to have to live with that for another decade." Batman mumbled unhappily as he watched the security cameras.
Nightwing was rolling on the floor, laughing loudly.
Teen-Danny motioned for Kid-Danny to stay in the shadows while he walked into the kitchen where Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, and Martian Manhunter were talking.
He gathered in the middle of the three and stood, listening to their conversation. As soon as they saw him, the conversation between the three died out.
"Yes?" Hawkgirl asked.
"Don't do it." Danny said.
"Do what?" Wonder Woman asked.
"It. Don't do it. If you do, the world will implode before it explodes." Danny answered.
"What is 'it'?" Hawkgirl asked impatiently.
"It. Don't do it." Danny answered, giving her a 'you-stupid?' look.
"What are we not doing?!" Wonder Woman asked.
"IT! DON'T DO IT!" Danny screamed.
"WHAT IS 'IT'?!"
"IT! DON'T DO IT!"
"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!"
"THAT'S THE POINT!" Danny screamed before turning on his heel and leaving three astonished adults.
"What?" Hawkgirl said, looking at the other adults for help.
"This explains so much about his character…" Batman mumbled, rubbing his face.
Nightwing was still on the floor but he was laughing so hard no noise was coming out of his mouth and he was clapping like a retarded seal.
Teen-Danny and Kid-Danny were lying in the middle of the hallway that the Leaguer's used a lot. People were continually stepping over them. One of the Leaguers, Green Arrow, stopped in front of them though.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"We're standing." Kid-Danny answered.
"Uh… No you're not…" Green Arrow said.
"Yes we are."
"No. You're not."
"Yes we are! Do you not appreciate our talent?" Kid-Danny asked, tears springing to his eyes. Teen-Danny had the same expression.
"Your talent- What?! Standing is not a talent! Wait a minute, you're not even standing!" Green Arrow said, confused as to what was going on.
The two Dannys on the ground began crying into their hands.
Green Arrow began sweating nervously, eyes shifting before he retreated, making pathetic noises as he did.
The two Dannys' crying turned into laughing and they high-fived.
"Now we wait for the next sucker…" Teen-Danny mumbled evilly. Kid-Danny cackled evilly next to him.
"Brain cells are dying and it's all because of one teen." Batman muttered.
Nightwing was sitting next to him, mimicking the evil cackle his Lil Bro had done only seconds before.
Kid-Danny dragged the keyboard out of the closet, along with his various piano books. Teen-Danny picked up the keyboard for him and brought it over to the coffee table.
"I was wondering if you played." Teen-Danny commented with a gigantic smile. "How far you into those books?"
Kid-Danny shrugged and began flipping through him. The older Danny watched behind him with interest.
Neither of the two boys saw Stargirl, Supergirl, or Canary watching them from the doorway.
The younger Danny stopped on a song one of his more advanced books. He showed it to his older-self. "This was the last song I learned."
Teen-Danny read it over his younger-self's shoulder. "Shadows, huh? I hated learning that song. You move around so much. But one day, Mini-Me, you'll be able to play this." Danny said and hopped over the couch to sit by Kid-Danny. He grabbed the piano and began playing a darkish tune that moved all around the keyboard.
The three women at the doorway looked at each other in astonishment. Canary mouthed 'That's-Titanic' to the other girls.
Kid-Danny watched Teen-Danny's fingers move gracefully up and down the keys without stumbling. He was rather surprised himself.
Nightwing stared at the screen with wide eyes. "Wow…"
Batman sat next to him with an impressed air. "Yeah… Wow…"
Teen-Danny and Kid-Danny continued to dance to the awful music in the room.
"THAT'S THE WAY, UH-HUH UH-HUH, I LIKE IT, UH-HUH UH-HUH! THAT'S THE WAY, UH-HUH UH-HUH, I LIKE IT, UH-HUH UH-HUH!"
Nightwing continued rolling around the floor, his laughter echoing throughout the room.
Batman just sat in his chair miserably, head in his hands.
"Go." Teen-Danny whispered to his younger self.
Kid-Danny ran into the room before sliding on his knees into the middle of the circle the adults were making.
"SPONGEBOB'S A TAMPON!"
The adults jerked forward with an 'EXCUSE-ME?!' looks.
Kid-Danny made a panicked, crying noise before scrambling to his feet and running away.
"IT'S AFTER ME! IT'S AFTER ME-HE-HE!"
"What is the older Danny feeding that kid?!" Aquaman asked the others.
Batman stared at the screen in complete and utter shock while Nightwing slapped his knee, tears coming out of his eyes while he laughed.
"Alright. Now that you have mastered the art of dancing really badly, we will continue on to singing. When you do sing, I want it to sound like a herd of sick, dying elephants. Don't actually sing. You should more like screech like a banshee to music. Understand?" Teen-Danny asked his young pupil, who nodded in response. The older of the two nodded with a proud smile.
"Let's do this!"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…" Batman mumbled, over and over again, obviously in denial.
Nightwing was snoring next to him, as he had passed out from lack of oxygen to his lungs and brain.
Teen-Danny walked up to another group of talking Leaguers. He had his hands behind his back with stoic face. "I have an announcement to make!"
The Leaguers turned to him warily.
Completely serious, Teen-Danny said "Denial is not just a river in Egypt" before turning on his heel and walking away, much in the fashion of an army general.
"We already knew that!" Wally yelled.
Batman face-palmed. Nightwing continued snoring.
"CAUSE EVERYTIME WE TOUCH, I FEEL THE STATIC! AND EVERYTIME WE KISS, I REACH FOR THE SKY!"
Nightwing screamed and fell off his seat when really high-pitched, really obnoxious, really loud screeching reached his ears.
Batman looked about ready to slam his head into a concrete wall.
Superman was texting Lois on his phone as he walked down the hall. He was just about to turn into, yet another, hall when…
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Kid-Danny, who had his legs wrapped around a steel beam, swung down from the shadows and into the hallway with a pie in his hands. He shoved it in Superman's face before swinging back up into the shadows of the rafters. There were two cackles and scampering of feet as the culprits ran off.
Superman, who's face couldn't be seen through all the cream, breathed out a long sigh through his nose. He took a step forward but slipped on a piece of stray pie and face-planted into the ground.
"That was random." Nightwing said through his laugher.
"My inbox is going to be spammed with more emails from the League about Danny conquering the Watchtower and owning us all…" Batman mumbled, shaking his head.
"I WISH I HAD AN ANGEL FOR ONE MOMENT OF LOVE! I WISH I HAD YOUR ANGEL! YOUR VIRGIN MARY UNDONE! I'M IN LOVE WITH MY LUST, BURNING ANGEL WINGS TO DUST! I WISH I HAD YOUR ANGEL TONIGHT!"
"What does this kid listen to in his free time?" Nightwing questioned, gaping at the screen with Batman.
Kid-Danny walked up to the adults discussing important matters. Immediately upon seeing the child, everyone retreated except for Flash, who was, ironically, the only one not fast enough to get away.
"Flash~!" Kid-Danny sang. Flash took a step back. "Yes, Satan?"
"What does the fox say~?" Kid-Danny sang, batting his eyes at the older hero. Flash waited for what would happen next. Kid-Danny continued batting his eyelids. Eventually, he made the 'go on' gesture.
"What do you- Oh…" Flash realized. The raven-haired child beamed and made the 'go on' gesture again.
"Kid, I am not saying." Flash said, crossing his arms.
"SAY IT!"
"What does the fox say?" Flash asked, shrinking back from the scariest child known to man. Danny grinned evilly, tapping his fingers together and beginning to cackle evilly. He turned on his heel and began walking towards the hallway. He continued cackling and tapping his fingers like a maniac.
Flash continued cowering. Totally afraid for his life.
Teen-Danny and Kid-Danny were walking into the main room, very happy with themselves, when a portal opened up in the middle of the room.
"Hey look, my ride's here." Teen-Danny commented, crossing his arms. Batman jumped from the portal and landed in a crouch on the ground. As he got up, Teen-Danny waved cheekily at him.
"Hey Bats! Took you long enough!"
Batman glared at him.
Nine-year-old Danny's Batman walked out of hallway, looking at a case file, when he looked up to see his counterpart.
Kid-Danny and Teen-Danny looked between the two.
"You just keep meeting all of your counterparts from other dimensions today." Danny said, smiling.
Teen-Danny's Batman sighed and rubbed his look. "Danny, get in the portal. I am tired and we have patrol in half an hour. You," Teen-Danny's Batman pointed to Kid-Danny's Batman. "I am sorry for whatever doom he has brought you. I'll be taking him home now."
Teen-Danny cackled and turned to his younger counterpart. "See you later, Kid. Remember, randomness is a gift that should be bestowed on only the most amazing. Meaning: us."
Kid-Danny nodded and gave his older counterpart thumbs up. "Will do! As long as you remember how to own the League!"
Teen-Danny gave a big smile. "I'll send you a postcard when I get them in my control! OW!"
Batman pulled Teen-Danny towards the portal by his ear.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, BYE! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"
Kid-Danny nodded as his Batman shook his head. Teen-Danny's Batman waved once before pushing his protégé into the portal and then entering himself.
"Well that was fun." Danny said, looking up at his mentor with a smile.
"I'M BACK~!"
"Awww… We were having so much fun without you."
"Thanks…"
Again, sorry for the screw-up, peoples.