This chapter was written for amusement and does not have to be considered canon to the story. I just wanted to do it for fun... which is also why it's doesn't need to be taken seriously. And everything is in normal POV.

Chapter 7 Skyward Swaps meets Twilight Twists

-Somewhere on the fourth wall-

In a grand hall in a house in an alternate dimension, the three goddesses who created the land that would one day be known as Hyrule were staring across a table at their new guest.

There was nothing remarkable about this guest: long blonde hair, curious green eyes, and an unusual contraption by her side, that looked like a silver book.

"...So..." The guest rested a temple on her index finger. "You're actually giving me permission to do this."

"That is correct." Nayru nodded.

"You're giving me the power to alter the fabric of Hyrule's reality to make this happen? Me: a human who could easily misuse said power to the point that I could end up like Ganondorf in the wrong timeline, if I screw up?"

"Yes." Din nodded.

Their guest raised an eyebrow."...Why?"

"Because we are tired of all the angst." Farore explained. "With the exception of, oh, maybe the first chapter, there has been nothing but angst. Boat loads of angst, bottles of angst, SEAS of angst. And the divine masses are perfectly aware that there will be even MORE, considering what you are working with. Angst lost it's popularity the day it became misused by-

"Do. not. say. it!" Din hissed.

"The book that made a once respected creature into a thing of mockery." Nayru sighed. "Don't forget the Hunger Games!" Farore piped up. "I'm pretty sure that was a rip off from-

"Can we PLEASE not get into these petty arguments!" Din hissed.

The guest argued. "But there isn't going to be any angst in the next chapter. Not much happens in the Sandship part, other then a few things here and there."

"We wan't you to do this." Farore countered.

"...Ok, so how are they going to forget about this?" The guest asked. "Due to how much this could effect the timeline, the erasing of memories might need to be applied as delicately-

"Oh, for ****'s sake, don't get all Doctor Who on us!" Nayru groaned as she ran a hand over her face. "I'm trying really hard to forget the plot holes of that show. This is why I hate writers like Steven Moffat."

"So don't you dare go 'plot hole' on us with this!" Din hissed.

The guest sighed as she opened up the silver book. "There was a reason I gave up on the fourth wall jokes with you guys. The last one was taking it too far."

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" The three goddesses yelled at once.

"We will erased every saved file of every Zelda game you own, if you keep questioning us!" Farore hissed. "INCLUDING HYRULE WARRIORS!"

"Do you want to go through all that hell to acquire Ghirahim AND getting back your DLCs?" Din added.

The guest went pale with fear. " DUELY NOTED!" She squeaked and began typing in the silver book.

-somewhere in the Faron Woods-

The otherwise quiet woods were filled with the sound of the harmonious combination of melodic notes produced from the harp and a voice as sweet as the scent of flowers.

Resting against a tree was Zelda and her companion Ghirahim: Zelda was the one who produced the music, while her companion, who was very rarely seen by her side in public, was sitting next to her, eyes closed in perfect content.

He always had a fondness for music, and his mistress was well endowed with such a pleasing voice, in addition to her talents with the harp.

"I do admire your voice." Ghirahim commented as his closed his eyes. "Your talents are truly remarkable."

"I'm only making up what I imagine at the moment." Zelda paused in her singing to explain, but she kept playing the harp as she did so. "I'm imagining what kind of song would fit with this forest."

"And it's very whimsical." Ghirahim noted as he listened carefully.

Both of them probably should of been more focused on finding the next flame, but after having to go through certain ordeals in the Ancient Cistern, they both agreed on allowing themselves a moment's rest.

Ghirahim briefly heard an unwelcome noise and opened his eye to see a bokoblin off in the distance that was heading towards them. With one finger snap, he sent a dagger straight at it's head and shut his eyes once more.

He let out a chuckle when he heard that he made a perfect head shot (via, a death cry) and went back to his peaceful rest.

That only lasted for a few seconds, because the next time he opened his eyes, he saw a horde of his victim's friends heading towards him and his mistress, with blades up and out.

He had no intention of having this moment being interrupted. He snapped his fingers again, and both he and his oblivious mistress disappeared in a flash of diamonds.

-Elsewhere, ? years in the future-

"Any second now... any second."

Blue eyes peered through the Hawks-eye device on the wearer's face as she eyed a monster off in the distance. With baited breath, she drew her arrow.

"Any... second."

She let go of the arrow and watched... a fraction of a second later, it made perfect contact with the creature's head and it fell dead on the spot some yards away.

Zelda got up and stretched her back out before taking the hawks eye out. "These really come in handy." She smiled at it. "I wonder if Hyrule castle has these on hand for the knights."

"Actually, I do wonder where Malo found this." She thought out loud. "I admit that he does have a flair for business at his age, but it's where his wares come from that makes me wonder..."

She reached for another arrow but frowned when she couldn't feel anything sticking out of the quiver. "Oh, for the love of- I needed those for our next destination!" She sighed at her careless thinking.

She turned to face her own shadow and spoke to it. "Hey, I need to be warped back to Kakariko Villages and retrieve my belongings. And then we can go look for the next mirror shard. Is that ok?"

A sinister chuckle erupted from seemingly nowhere: only she, and she alone, was able to hear it. "Of course, Lady Wolf."

Zelda sighed. "You don't have to call me that anymore."

"For such a wise beauty who becomes a feral beast upon command? How could I not forego such an oxymoronic title."

Zelda chuckled. "I see your point."

In a flash of black, the beautiful young woman was turned into a wolf of white and purplish red fur and white markings. The wolf was disintegrated into black squares, which were sent upward into a black hole above the spot it used to be standing upon.

-on the fourth wall-

"Ok then." The guest clapped her hands. "Twilight, meet Skyward."

She pressed a button.

- in an empty dimension-

When Zelda realized that Ghirahim transported (or 'cheated' as they both called it) them to a different location, she stopped playing the harp and awoke to a strange sight.

It looked like a large green field- or, to be more accurate, an island made like a large green field, floating in the sky, which not only was set to a beautiful twilight setting, but had strange black squares floating upwards.

"...Where did you take me this time?" as she put the harp away, Zelda glanced to Ghirahim, who was just as confused as she was.

"There was a horde of annoyances coming our way and I wanted to move us to a more peaceful location." Ghirahim explained with a confused frown. "But I was trying to send us in a different area of Faron Woods..."

Zelda continued glancing around until she saw... well, she didn't know what the strange creature with the purplish red fur was. Judging by it's movement's, it looked just as confused as they did. "What is that?" She pointed at it.

Ghirahim followed her finger until it saw the animal. "...Is that a new breed of wolfos?" He wondered. "It would be a shame to kill such a beautiful looking creature."

The wolf noticed Zelda- and somehow managed to look really confused, complete with wide eyes and a gapping jaw (muzzle?)

A moment or two passed, before the wolf suddenly nodded and turned into a strange black shape that stood upright. When the black disappeared, what took the wolf's place was a beautiful young woman who looked like an adventurer. Her clothes, despite appearing so casual, still had an air of regalllness about them, that made her look more like a queen.

But what drew her observers in was the fact that she looked almost exactly like-

"SHE'S GOT MY FACE!" Zelda almost shrieked as she stood up and pointed.

"I should be the one to talk." The other Zelda (whose hair didn't include bangs and was somewhere between a red and blonde, and had eyes that were more purple than blue) calmly responded back as she placed a hand over her chest. "However, I would like to know if this is the twilight realm."

Zelda- the one with bangs- was confused. "What's the twilight realm? Isn't that like the silent realm?" She turned to Ghirahim "Is this another trial? I'm not ready for one of those right now."

"We aren't in the silent realm." Ghirahim glanced at the sky. "And I know as much of this 'twilight realm' as you do."

Without any warning, a fourth voice suddenly joined in. "And suppose these two interlopers are lying to us, my Lady Wolf?"

To the interest of the two companions, the shadow of Zelda's more mature 'copy' stretched out behind her, when something- or someone- emerged from it.

The new person had an interesting taste in fashion of black, red and neon green, and armor. It was someone who had an almost animal-like face, with pale bluish skin, red hair poking out of an odd piece of head gear, and eyes that were yellow red without any pupils.

The two stared as the newcomer continued. "This two are quite suspicious looking and that one bears striking similarities to your appearance. Perhaps this is a trap?"

The other Zelda calmly stated. "I don't think these two are dangerous, Zant. They look just as out of place as we do."

"We have suffered from being too relaxed in our journey before, Zelda." The one named Zant added.

"You're name is Zelda too?!" The blonde Zelda gapped. "That can't be a coincidence!"

Zant looked at the girl again and appeared thoughtful. "While she resembles you, her beauty pales in comparison to your own- especially in her facial features. She may as well be a twili in disguise."

"Zant!" Zelda- the mature one- protested, but the damage was already done as Zelda gapped at the unusual man.

Ghirahim's eyes narrowed at Zant. "What did you just call my Mistress? Is that supposed to be a compliment, or an insult?"

"My Zelda is quiet, yet thoughtful, and has faced countless monsters while still somehow managing to appear graceful." Zant began. "Your Zelda is one who looks unusually bright, but also so- forgive me- she looks like my own people, with that flat nose of hers. Due to past experiences, I assumed that she was a poor attempt at a replication of my companion." Zant waved a hand towards his own Zelda.

Ghirahim sneered. "My mistress," he slowly began as he moved towards Zant like a crouching animal waiting to pounce. "Is one of a kind. I would think that your Zelda is the imitation, the way you speak of her."

"Please let's not fight." The twili held his hands up in protest. "I'm not one for fighting, unless the situation calls for it."

"To compare your appearance to my mistress is an insult on my behalf. You're one to talk, you unusual eyed creature."

Suddenly, a strange helmet somehow formed it's way over Zant's face, making him look like he wore the head of a lizard or chameleon. It made the otherwise strange looking man appear more frightening.

The reddish blonde Zelda grew pale with fear. "Oh no... please... not now, not now." She whispered to herself.

Ghirahim paused for a moment before he grew frusterated. "I did not say you should hide your face from public! Your face was atrocious enough to look at, and now you insist on looking like a confused, idiotic fool with that thing on over your head?!"

"Oh no." The reddish blonde Zelda pinched her nose. "Here we go again...You just had to do it, didn't you?"

The twili suddenly twitched. Then, his normally calm vice slowly began creeping up in pitch as he raised his arms outward.

Ghirahim and Zelda watched in confusion at the unusual change, not knowing what the former had just invoked.

The twili bent over- almost until his head could of touched the ground- his arms reached outward towards the heavens...

Then he suddenly shot up, jumped, and stomped the ground a good few times and let out a strange cry.

"Well, you're one to talk!" Zant pouted like a young child, to the surprise of Ghirahim and Zelda (the mistress). "You look like those clowns we saw around lake Hylia... no, that's not right. You look like that cheapskate dandy at the Hyrule Castle town who runs that STAR game! No wonder I couldn't tell if you were a man or a woman upon first glance!"

Ghirahim flinched.

"Oh sweet Hylia, not the Scrapper incident again!" Blonde Zelda cringed as Ghirahim let out a snarl as he began to crouch and his fingers began twitching.

"If it's death you want..." He snapped his fingers and produced a sword. "If it's agony you demand...!" His cloak disappeared into diamonds and left behind what he wore underneath. "THEN YOU SHALL HAVE IT!" He shot straight up and pointed his blade at Zant.

"YES!" Zant shrieked as his unusually colored scimitars suddenly came out of the sleeves of his outfit. "I WANT TO SEE YOU SCREAM AS I CHOP YOU UP INTO BITS!"

"AS DO I!" Ghirahim roared as he and the two rushed together and entered one on one combat.

"Uh," Zelda- or as we must call her, Twilight- headed towards Zelda- the Skyward one- and apologized. "I'm really sorry about him. We had some trouble in our journey awhile ago... and I really don't know how to explain him."

"That's ok!" Skyward waved a hand. "We've had some trouble too. And, to be honest, considering Ghirahim's taste for violence, this might do him some good."

"I suppose the same could be said for Zant." Twilight sighed as she glanced to the battle- sword clashing against scimitars. "If I hadn't left my sword and supplies back at Kakariko Village, I would of stopped this. But is like making a new friend for Zant, so..."

The two similarly named girls watched as Zant shot balls of purple energy out of his sleeves at a rapid pace, and Ghirahim quickly dodged them. As soon as he had an opening, the sword spirit rushed towards the twili and made to slash at him, but Zant dodged the attack.

"...So, how did you two meet?" Skyward asked. "I can't imagine how that went."

"Well," Twilight thought back as Ghirahim summoned small knives, which he sent at Zant. "One moment I am going to leave for the castle, the next my friends and I were ambushed by monsters. I was left behind, and tried to follow them, but then I was pulled into this place known as the twilight realm-

"Is that the best you can do?!" Zant cried out as he swung a scimitar at Ghirahim, who blocked it with his sword.

"And due to a sort of power I had, I was transformed into the wolf you saw." Twilight continued. "I then found myself chained up in some sort of dungeon. Then Zant appeared and freed me: apparently, he had need for me, though he didn't say it or the reason why at the time."

"How did you deal with the..." Skyward watched as Zant suddenly turned himself into a tornado and attacked Ghirahim, who ended up getting knocked backwards. She winced at the attack, but relaxed when her companion quickly got up. "...personality switch?"

"...Honestly, I still have no idea where that comes from." Twilight answered. "I noticed that every time he gets under stress, or gets into a confrontation, he will go from calm to... that." She threw a hand out at her companion as Ghirahim finally landed a blow on Zant.

The two girls watched in disturbed fascination as Ghirahim brought his blade to his face- and proceeded to lick the blade with his long tongue. "I've never tasted this kind before." Ghirahim slowly smiled at Zant after he finished the odd act. "I can practically taste the insanity of your mind. I'd say I'd like it, but then again, I much prefer the state of my own insanity. I don't need to add yours to it."

"You're flowery words may flatter me." Zant grunted as he got up and swung a scimitar out. "But you're still a contagion that I seek to extinguish."

Twilight turned to Skyward. "Now then: what about your companion?"

Skyward bit her lip as she held her sword out. "This will sound weird, but he's the sword that resides in this blade. I was told that I was chosen by Hylia to lead the world to light or something... I'm still figuring it out. I'm trying to find the sacred flames, to strengthen the sword."

Twilight's eyes widened. "...You're Hylia's champion?"

Skyward tilted her head in confusion. "I...guess?"

"It's nothing." Twilight shook her head as she glanced at the sword at Skyward's back with more interest than Skyward would of imagined. "I was just... reminded of a story, that's all... So, is your companion always that eccentric?"

"...Yeah." Zelda nodded. "For a good reason, but yeah."

-sometime later-

The battle between two mentally unbalanced warriors was nearing it's conclusion, while their respective companions entered random banter.

"We need... to... stop..." Zant panted as his attacks became more misses than hits. "This... cant... go-"

"Take... your words... back." Ghirahim tiredly swung his sword out. "And... I'll... stop."

"...No."

Ghirahim let out a cry of frustration.

"And then he was all 'you're a girl, you know how a girl thinks!'" Skyward hiccuped as she and Twilight shared a chateau romani that the later had on her (courtesy of Telma's bar). "And Cawlin's a jerk, and I pity him, but I knew that Karane likes Pipit-"

"And then?" Twilight pressed.

"I... honestly do not remember. Did I give the letter to Karane, or did I give it to the toilet hand spirit? Ghirahim had a really funny thing to say about the whole thing... it was something like 'well, aren't you the match maker?'" Skyward did a perfect imitation of Ghrahim's voice, down to the very showy pitches and sadistic tones. "'Too bad you had to break a heart in the process, my naughty mistress.'"

"You make it sound like your relationship with him is dirty, what with that title and all!"

"Lady Wolf has the same implications."

"...Touché."

"So what else have you had to do for someone else?"

"I was asked to haul a huge barrel of hot spring water across a monster infested field for a tired out goron! I could of used help from Malo, or somebody else-"

"Did Zant help you 'cheat'?"

"...Uh, do you mean take out the enemies surrounding me, in a bloodied frenzy?"

"...I meant teleporting across the lands, while accidentally missing a few important details."

"... Your companion sounds like he gets impatient, doesn't he?"

"For a good reason or two that I tend to agree with. So... what about that prince you were talking about? You didn't say his name, but it sounded like you-"

Twilight was about to open her mouth and interrupt her counterpart, before a new voice boomed across the pocket dimension.

"ENOUGH!"

The ongoing battle ceased and everyone's attention turned to... an odd looking woman with a long nose and pink hair.

"You two are going to kill each other, the way you're fighting." The woman pointed a finger at Ghirahim and Zant. "You really want to see the other bleed to death, don't you? Well, TOO BAD! Not while I'm in control!"

"...Ugliest woman I've ever seen." Zant commented.

"Agreed." Ghirahim added.

The young woman flinched, but she took what apparently was a mask off: revealing a face that was a lot more easier on the eyes. "Why is it that I liked this mask to the point that if I ever went to clock town, I could of dressed up as her for the festival?" She glanced at it in regret. "I liked Navi, and Tingle never creeped me out, until he started charging me a crap load of rupees for the maps in Wind Waker-"

"She looks like that amnesiac friend of yours with the bad haircut." Zant commented to Twilight.

The young woman flinched and growled at Zant. "Don't, you, dare compare me to that character- EVER!"

"As much as we are curious about your amusing rants," Ghirahim interrupted. "Can you explain who you are? And if you were the one who sent us here, you better start praying that you will come out unharmed."

The girl straightened up. "My name is-" She paused. "Right. Public domain. Can't give away my personal identity."

"What are you jabbering about?" Zant demanded.

"And I now realize that I gave the master sword a 'Ron the death eater' status: I made it evil! I mean, how pathetic can I possibly get with this-!"

"NOW, OR I'LL STAB YOU!"

"Basically," The young woman began without batting an eye. "I have temporary control as a god... and I'm using my powers for the benefits of others rather than myself."

"What do you mean by 'others'?" Twilight asked as she and Skyward got up and approached their respective companions.

"The three nut-jobs up there," the young woman pointed an index finger up to the sky. "And..." She waved the other index finger around by the side of her head. "You can't see them, but consider it like Cabin in the Woods. Except they have a more developed sense of taste."

"...What?" Skyward was getting confused.

The young woman threw her hands up. "Ok, you know what... I'm just going to get this out of the way: you were all brought together for the amusement of divine masses and the three ladies who gave me permission chose to watch an unhealthy amount of tv, rather than observing the timelines created by important changes to said timelines- in fact, I'm sure they were watching Arrested Development, last time I checked. McCrazy Pants and Lord Fabulous were going to kill each other at the rate they were going, so I had to intervene. Happy?"

There was some understanding, more confusion, and two very insulted and very insane men.

"Now, I promise I will let you all out in a minute." The young woman continued. "First you have to kiss and make up- NO! NOT LIKE THAT!" She yelled at the sky. "GET YOUR MIND, OUT OF THE GUTTER!"

She calmed back down. "Then I'll let you go. Happy?"

Both girls glanced to their companions- they needed to act fast, before someone died.

"Well, I think it was nice that you got to spare with someone who could satisfy your tastes in fighting." Skyward stood next to Ghirahim and gave him a grin. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself, even if you were about to kill each other."

"And you know how you wanted to meet someone who could put up a decent fight against you." Twilight joined Zant's side. "I actually thought you made a friend."

The two warriors glanced at each other.

"I..." Ghirahim reluctantly began. "I did have fun... I suppose. You are certainly an unusual opponent, but you gave me one of the best fights I've had in years... even if your style is rather... spontaneous."

"You were definitely a worthy opponent." Zant nodded as his helmet disappeared from his face. "I was impressed at how long you lasted against me, which says something about your character."

The young woman smiled. "I so need to finish Legend mode of Hyrule Warriors for this. Now then- you all are free to go. Unfortunately," She looked at Ghirahim and his Zelda. "You two may or may not remember all of this. If you do, it would only be a dream."

Skyward was confused. "Why?"

The young woman sighed. "I can't answer that. You better say you're good byes, before I'm told to do something stupid."

Skyward looked to Twilight. "It was nice meeting you. I wish the best in your adventures."

Twilight glanced between the two from her kingdom's ancient past. "...Whatever happens," She began. "It was an honor to meet the both of you." She approached Ghirahim and held her hand out "There's a lot I wish I could tell you..."

Ghirahim accepted her handshake, and when they made contact, Twilight glanced down at his hand with a faint glimmer of familiarity in her eyes. "Again, whatever happens..." She turned to Skyward after the handshake. "Just have fun, ok?"

Instead of a response, Skyward tightly hugged Twilight.

"Good luck on your journey." She told the other.

Twilight hesitated, but then she smiled. "Same to you too."

Skyward stood next to Ghirahim and waved. "Bye, Zelda, the girl who can turn into a wolf."

"Bye Zelda, the girl who lives in the sky." Twilight waved back.

The sky era Zelda let out a giggle as she and her companion were enveloped with a warm yellow light, before they disappeared from the dimension.

The mysterious young woman watched as Zelda- the twilight one- examined the hand she used to shake Girahim's own in confusion. "To answer your question... yes: the legends were true."

Zelda looked up as Zant watched on. The girl let out a smile. "Now everything can return back to way it should be."

"Why did you do this?" Zelda asked. "And who are you, really?"

The girl let out a smile.

"Just another average Legend of Zelda fangirl."

And before Zelda could ask anymore questions, she and Zant were enveloped in the same yellow light as before and disappeared from the dimension.

The girl let out a sigh. All was well... well, except for one thing.

"CAN I PLEASE GO BACK TO MY PLACE NOW?!" She yelled up to the sky.

"...Are you going to write Twilight Twists in the future?!" A voice echoed.

"I'M A UNIVERSITY STUDENT! WITH MY OWN HOPES AND DREAMS! I DONT HAVE TIME TO DO BOTH THIS FIC AND THAT AT THE SAME TIME THERE'D BE WAY TOO MANY CHANGES DUE TO HOW LONG THE GAME IS!"

"...Fine." A trio of women responded somewhere above her and the girl was returned back to where she should be.

-somewhere in the future, the past, or another timeline... again-

"Lady Wolf!" Zant cried out in ecstatic happiness as he saw a young woman emerge from a gate of souls. The young woman didn't look entirely like his Lady Wolf, but he could somehow tell it was the same soul. "It's so good to see you again!"

The girl gave him a confused look. "Uh, who are you?"

A very familiar looking person emerged from the gate of souls and joined Zelda. The confusion on his face was new, but not the irritation. "I would very much like to know the answer to that question myself."

Zant gapped at the newcomer.

"Oh no... not you again; It's the ambiguously gendered companion in ill fitting clothing again." Zant sighed. "Why did you get to reunite with Lady Wolf first, and not me?"

He regretted saying that the second Ghirahim looked as if something... oh so delicate inside him snapped.

"Permission to beat this confused fool within an inch of his life, mistress?" He asked his bemused companion.

Skyward Sword Zelda DOES look as if she has a flat nose at the right angle.

Twilight Twists would only exist if I felt like it in the future. I only intended this concept for this one story, and I've already put a lot of focus on this fic. (plus, it doesn't help that a rewrite for Twilight Princess would require MORE than this one.

Next chapter, we get back on track with the story... and remember, you still have time to vote on which gender Demise will be when the character appears to Zelda... as long as it is in an actual review about something in the fan fic.