A/N: Once again real life and work has gotten in the way, so sorry about that but anyway here is the next installment I do hope you enjoy it and anyone who doesn't get the 'joke' of the title ought to be ashamed of themselves! (If you get that you probably can see where most of my characters names stem from, if you do I really like you! lol) Enjoy! Gee x
It was the dawn of a brand new day and Brian Lane had returned to his work establishment before his boss and the passing of dawn. When Sandra stumbled into the office, carefully balancing her takeaway coffee in her hand she took a double take at the figure sat at Brian's work station.
"Brain it isn't even eight o'clock yet, what in god's name are you doing here?" She said putting her precious polystyrene coffee cup down so she could attempt to rub away the traces of sleep that remained in her ocean blue eyes.
"Making a rota." He said carefully drawing a perfectly straight line in pencil.
"A rota, what on earth for?"
"So both Jack and I know when me lessons are going to be" he beamed too enthusiastically at his boss for this time of day.
"Look Brian, I love the fact you are showing a very keen interest in the sport but I can't have you going on about it all the time, we still have this case to solve and I need Jack and especially you focused at all times, understood?"
Brain looked up and Sandra and reluctantly nodded. "Anyway, what are you doing here so early?"
"I wanted to ring Doctor Morecambe's surgery and inform them of our little visit today, thought it was best to catch them early, I know how bitchy these doctor's receptionists can be."
"Ah." Brian exhaled.
"What do you mean 'ah'?"
"Well, you know how I told you that he had a practise in Greenwich?"
"Yes, since the early 2000's." Sandra recalled.
"Well his ex wife Celina Morecambe is also a General Practitioner and it is her that runs the surgery. As part of their divorce settlement it was decided that in order to keep Mr Morecambe's finances afloat his ex wife would buy the practise, and that's not all."
"Go on."
"The reason why he was in the black was because he had lost his pristine reputation on account of selling pre signed blank prescriptions. Many of which included-"
"Benzodiazepine" They chorused.
"Exactly, it all came out in the divorce settlement in 2005 after Mrs Morecambe sold her story to a magazine doing features on disgraced doctors."
"Brain, how on earth did you find all this out? And at the crack of dawn too, I'm impressed."
"Thanks Sandra, well I finished the draft of my training rota hours ago and I thought I might as well run a few inquiries while I was here." He smiled, he looked prouder than his boss at his efficiency.
"Cheers Brian, I don't suppose you have an address-"
"Here" he grinned handing over a piece of paper that had been sitting patiently at the bottom of the printer ready for Sandra's arrival.
"Excellent, well I think that is where we better start today but first things first; we have a good 40minutes before Jack gets here and a decent 45 before Gerry decides to grace us with his presence, so do fancy a proper breakfast from that greasy spoon over the road?"
"I won't say no to that Guv."
Brian and Sandra returned to the office exactly a minute after Jack arrived."
"Not like you to be late Sandra" Jack joked.
"For your information Jack, Brian and I have- well Brian mainly has been here since the crack of dawn digging up the dirt on a certain ex Doctor Morecambe. So I took him out for breakfast, we need to keep that weird and wonderful brain of his well fed don't we."
"Oh, what on earth made you come to work that early, Brian?" Jack pondered.
"What I want to know is what he has done to annoy Esther today" Gerry said sneaking up on the man in question.
"Don't do that Gerry! Anyway I came in early to make Jack a rota of when I am free for my golfing lessons. I chose to work on it here as Esther was teasing me when I attempted to draw it up at home, last night." The northerner explained.
"Aren't you free most evenings?" Jack asked bemused.
"That's the conclusion I came to, yes."
"Well now that's all sorted, Guv, why don't you tell us what you have discovered about this Alfred Morecambe" Gerry suggested as he didn't want to get in the middle of Jack and Brain's official rota drawing.
The three geriatrics and Sandra panted when they finally reached the top floor of the run down council flats that stood in the very heart of Brixton.
"How the mighty have fallen" Sandra noted as she grazed the green door, complete with peeling paint, with her black leather gloved knuckles to declare Alfred Morecambe had visitors.
"I've told you I haven't got it; you will have to come back next week. I'll be able to give you next month's rent as well as the last two." Growled a deep voice.
"Mr Morecambe, we are not here about the rent. I am Detective Superintendant Pullman, I need to ask you some questions about your relationship with Dervla Spencer, may I and my team come in, please?"
"Proof first" he said as the door swung partly open, its action was restricted by the chunky silver chain that stood in the way of the team and the shabby looking man.
Sandra held up her ID badge and the man scratched his matted hair before allowing them in.
All five of them congregated in the small kitchenette as Alfred made it clear they weren't welcome in the living quarters.
"What is it you want? I am a very busy man." He snarled.
"So I see" Gerry quipped.
"I understand you had to give up your practise in 2005 due to selling blank prescriptions." Sandra stated, not liking the very close proximity between her and Mr Morecambe.
"No I had to give up that surgery due to some evil old two-timing witch who had my balls well and truly locked in a vice." The man spat right in Sandra's face.
Repulsed at the man Sandra shot back with: "But you were selling prescriptions for your own financial benefit weren't you Doctor, Sorry Mr Morecambe."
"Yes, if it wasn't for that slut of a cow I would have gotten away with it."
"Did you ever sell any prescriptions to Dervla Spencer?" Sandra tried.
"Who?"
"Dervla Spencer, Britain's best golfer, very famous you must have heard of her" Jack pushed.
"No never" he said shaking his head callously.
"Did she ever visit you at the surgery?" Gerry's attempted.
"Never" this time he shook his head with more ease than when he carried out the motion moments beforehand.
"So why were you texting her things like; 'You can't come to me for them, I will meet you usual place.' Were you falsely prescribing Ms Spencer with Benzodiazepine?"
"You must have me mistaken with someone else" Alfred laughed embarrassedly.
"The phone number had been taxing belonged to you Mr Morecambe, the phone company traced it straight back to you, so unless your phone went conveniently missing-"Jack threatened.
"Yes, Yes I think it did" He stammered.
"There are no reports of a mobile phone belonging to you being stolen, is that wise Mr Morecambe, to lie to the police?" Sandra snapped.
"Very funny joke inspector, I'm impressed. It's not like I haven't heard that one before" he said sarcastically.
"I think you better accompany us to the station, don't you Mr Morecambe? We are investigating the death of a young mother, famous or not. The least you can do is take this situation seriously" Sandra warned him.
Back at the station Gerry and Jack stood watching the man through the two way mirror. He had his head bent down against the table as he waited for Sandra and Jack to enter the room. Alfred Morecambe had a small patch of the prematurely greying, matted hair which was starting to fall out. The texture of the un kept mop made the patch of thinning hair look like a well used rug that was beginning to wear out in the middle due to countless times it had been sat on and folded away.
Brian was the next person to enter the dark interview room, shortly afterwards Sandra entered and began the process of formally questioning the disgraced doctor.
"Now Mr Morecambe, this is the last time I will ask you, what was your relationship with Ms Spencer?"
"She came to see me about her anxiety and asked if I could write her out a prescription for benzodiazepine. She claimed she was desperate."
"Why did she come to you?" Brian asked.
"The same as they all did."
"Because they knew that if they had the cold hard cash you had the goods that is correct isn't it."
"Yes he muttered quietly."
"Sorry I didn't quite catch what you just said, Mr Morecambe."
"Yes Superintendent, that is correct" he shouted beginning to find it extremely hard to keep his cool.
"Why were you selling these bogus prescriptions, Mr Morecambe? A fine doctor like you with his own practise and polished reputation like yours didn't need to resort to desperate measures such as these." Brain stated.
"I did it to keep my former wife in the manner in which she had become accustomed, look where that got me."
"Was your wife aware from the off about your little scheme?"
"Of course she was."
"Back to the matter in hand, how much money did Dervla Spencer give you for a prescription of benzodiazepine?"
"Around £50 a piece" he replied in a cool manner.
"When did she first start coming to you for these prescriptions?" Brain inquired.
"A month or so before she was due to compete in the British Open Championship, she seemed pretty desperate, her reputation, much like mine was on the line."
"How much money did she spend on these false prescriptions in total?"
"About £150."
"Was your wife aware of your meeting with Ms Spencer?"
"I am sure she was?"
"What makes you say that? Did she over hear the conversations between yourself and Dervla? Or did she read your texts?" Sandra suggested.
"No, no, no, dear" he said letting out a poisonous laugh "My dearest, darling wife was shagging Devla Spencer's husband."
"Do you have any sort of proof of this?"
"If you count walking in on them at it like rabbits as proof, then yes I have proof" this time his reply was tinted with sorrow. Alfred Morecambe had finally let his nonchalant guard down.
"Did Dervla know about the affair?"
"I suspect so; it was always in the press about his womanising ways."
"Did she ever confide in you about your spouses affair?" Sandra asked.
"Never" he said shaking that scruffy head of hair.
"Is that why you helped Dervla out, to get back at your cheating wife?" Brain tried.
"Partly" he finally admitted "and of course the cash is always a bonus."
"Nice work you two" Gerry said as he met his colleagues in the corridor.
"Yes well we still have a long way to go, I will book us in for an appointment with Celina Morecambe first thing tomorrow and two of us can pay Jeremy Crawford a visit."
"Sounds like the ball is well and truly rolling good work" echoed the sound of the voice belonging to the one and only Robert Strickland.
"Thank you Sir, I was just about to come and find you and update you on the case" Sandra said flashing her boss a smile which caused Gerry to be a little jealous.
"Fantastic, I'll come with you to the office and you can all make sure I am kept in the loop."
As they all trundled down the corridor Gerry tried his best to keep in the middle of Strickland and Sandra while Jack and Brian trailed a little bit behind as they talked about Brain's current favourite sport.
"So are you up for a golfing lesson tonight Brian?"
"Of course" he squealed in sheer excitement.
"Are you learning how to play golf Brian?" Rob enquired.
"Nothing gets past you does it" Gerry muttered under his breath.
"I am sir, Jack is teaching me." He replied proudly.
"I will be teaching him Sir, I'm giving him his first lesson this evening."
"Excellent, when you are ready to play a proper game let me know and I will arrange for the three of us to have a whole day of golf" Rob smiled.