A/N: As much as I am trying my best to research all there is to know about golf for this fic, I don't play it and know next to nothing about, so I apologise if you are reading it and are a player and what I have written is absolute nonsense! Gee x

Brain Lane raced home to change his attire, ready for his first ever golf lesson with Jack.

When he got home he was greeted by a stern looking Esther, who was stood on the doorstep with her arms folded.

"Brian, I need a word with you" she said as her husband rushed past her, causing her to spin around on her heels to avoid being knocked over.

"In a minute love, did a package arrive for me today?" He said with so much eager it looked as if his eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets.

"That is exactly what I want to talk to you about" Esther said, struggling to keep her temper at bay. "Just what have you ordered now and how much has it set us back?"

"There is no need to be like that, Esther, love" he winced as the heavy duty jiffy bag came hurtling into his stomach. "It's only a couple of golfing jumpers, trousers, shoes and a cap, Esther. If I am going take up the sport I have to look the part. Especially now Strickland has invited me to play with him."

"Oh Brian you didn't tell him you could play, did you?"

"I told him Jack was teaching me, so it won't be long before I am on that green" he beamed.

"Oh Brain just take it one step at a time, you know what you are like when you get carried away."

"I don't suppose anything else came for me today?" He said sweetly, trying to change the subject away from his over eagerness.

"Oh yes" Mrs Lane nodded angrily.

"Goody! That will be my clubs, trolley and supply of golf balls" he said rubbing his hands together with glee.

"How much did all that cost, I won't ask you again Brian. So you'd better be straight with me." She said glaring at the man she loved.

"Umm"

"Brain!" Esther exclaimed through gritted teeth.

"I found a shop online that was selling off old stock at bargain prices." Just as he was about to admit to Esther how much he had really spent he was saved by the doorbell.

"Oh hello Esther, is he ready?"

"Hello Jack, how are you? No he isn't he's got to change in to some silly trousers first."

Jack and Esther enjoyed a cup of Earl Grey and polite conversation while Brian got changed into his brand new outfit.

"Well what do you think" he called, grinning from ear to ear with pride from the top of the stairs.

"You know it's only a lesson in my back garden, don't you Brian?"

"Yes."

"Well, that means that you don't have to wear the full outfit" Jack said. He turned to face Esther who has clearly trying to fend off a bout of giggles.

"Well I want to, these trousers are dead comfy."

It wasn't until they pulled into Jack Halford's drive when Jack realised just what he had let himself in for. He had always known that once Brian became obsessed with something that was it. You would hear nothing else for the short period of time he took up the new activity. Or he would tell you no end of pointless facts about the subject he was now interested in. But this time it was Jack who had the sole responsibility of keeping Brain Lane's obsession under control and he was more than aware of that.

Once they arrived at Jack's they made their way to his back garden. Here, Jack could comfortably teach Brain the basics of the sport using his own driving range and not having to worry about being embarrassed by Brain in public.

He fished into his own golf club trolley and exhibited the club to Brian.

"Right Brian, first things first, in order to play a good round of golf you need to have the perfect grip and stance, so that is what I would like to show you first" Jack began. He felt nervous, gold was his passion and he might have been a good tutor to Sandra in the Met, but something told him this would really be a challenge.

"Did you buy those clubs online?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well it is important that they suit your hand size, so can I ask you to take a club."

Brian obliged, he hoped to god he had bought the right ones, not because of the money but because he didn't like to be wrong.

"Now, put your thumb, it doesn't matter which, and line it up so it runs down with the club, like this" Jack said demonstrating. Brian mirrored his movements and stance with ease.

"Now I need you to interlock your two fingers on top, or if you prefer you can over lap them, but we need to make sure there is a 'V' shape over your right shoulder."

"Like this?"

"Perfect Brian, you've got a nice strong grip on the club. Well done, now practice swinging the club, imagining that there is a ball there."

As predicted ,Brain got a little too carried away with his swing and almost took Jack's eye out. Trying not to get cross Jack said; "Easy Brain, be careful we don't want any accidents and we really don't want to slice the ball."

"Slice it? I won't chop it in half will I?"

"No, no Brian, it's a golfing term, it means to swerve to the ball from left to right more so than you should. Try again."

Once Brain had got the hang of using the club, the next important lesson begun.

"Right, this is very important Brain so pay attention, we need to set up the ball and be able to draw it."

Once Jack had explained to Brain what to do with the driver he had an inkling that there would be some sort of disaster. Instead of coming inwards with his club he came in forwards and sliced the ball with such force, it curved around and hit once of Jack's ceramic plant pots.

This process was repeated several times with the same outcome, the final straw came when Brain nearly hit Mary's favourite ornament which sat by the pond.

Jack, who felt like he could have a heart attack at any given moment, decided it was probably best to end the lesson there and pick it up another day.

"You are going to carry on teaching me aren't you Jack?" Brain widened his eyes, like a spaniel, desperate for his friend not to give up on him.

"Of course, just let me regain my nerves first."

"I didn't do too badly did I?" Brain asked, slightly afraid of the answer.

Sensing this Jack replied; "No, you didn't do too badly for your first lesson and that's the truth."

The northerner beamed once again with pride. He couldn't wait for this next lesson and this time he promised he would try his best not to hit anything.