Chapter 20

"Hey! It's Bon! And Konekomaru and Renzo are with him! Welcome back, you guys!" Some of the people from the inn greeted.

"No! I'm not back for a visit! I'm here as an exwire!" Bon shouted to them, "Hey! Listen to me!"

"Ryuji!" the woman down the hall called, "You dyed your hair! Are you trying to be a CHICKEN when you grow up? Didn't you say you'd never come back here?" She seemed angry now.

"Yeah, well the order just happened to book us here! And did you just call me a chicken? It represents my dedication!" Bon replied, just as angrily.

"Dedication? You used to be handsome!" the woman then turned to Konekomaru and Shima, "Neko, Renzo! I'm so glad you're back safe and sound. I bet babysitting Ryuji was hard. Oh my, where are my manners? A pleasure to make all of your acquaintance. I'm Ryuji's mother! Thank you for looking after my son." The woman beamed at all of us. I guess I know now where Bon gets his weird mood swings from. This woman went from curious to angry to happy to modest in less than two minutes!

After a couple of pokes at Bon and a short word with Shima's dad, we were sent off to our tasks. There really are a lot of sick people. This isn't going to be easy.

"Your job is simply serving the herbal tea that they're making in the kitchen to counteract the poison, and replacing the drip bags when they run low." One of the exorcists explained.

"Yes sir!" we all replied.

I turned to follow the exwires, but a tug on my collar stopped me. "Whoops, not you Okumura."

"Then what should I do?" I asked.

"Pick up... trash?" The exorcist said. He walked away quickly.

There is no trash here. It's spotless! Just a couple of random stray hairs, not even enough dirt to be able to sweep off of the floor. I guess I should just ask another exorcist if they need help with anything.

And after sending me from one exorcist to another until I got back to the same guy, I feel completely worthless. Am I really so bad that I'm not even worth giving the menial slave-type tasks to? That I can't do something as simple as fetch herbs for them or something? Or carry food out? Or fold laundry? I guess there's really nothing for me to do here...

"Hey you! Gimme a hand, would ya?" A voice called. I glanced around briefly, but I didn't see anyone else. Was he calling me?

"Yeah, sure! I'll help!" I can finally do something useful!

I ran over to where I heard the voice. "Watermelons! Those sure look good." I commented.

"They're perfectly ripe too. Those melons are for the patients, but you can have some if you help me cut them up." The man smiled. He was short, bald, and... drunk?

"Have you been drinking?" I asked.

"Oh, it's just for the heat. I heard that we got reinforcements that came in from Tokyo. You must be a student at the cram school. What's your name?" He asked.

Damn. He's about to hate me too, now. "Rin Okumura." I answered, not looking up from teh watermelon that I was chopping.

"Oh, so you're..."

"And who are you?" I cut him off. I don't want him to get too far with that train of thought. Might as well enjoy the company of a man who doesn't hate me yet, even if the only reason he doesn't hate me is because he's had too much alcohol to process my name yet.

"I'm Ryuji Suguro's father"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. We look alike, don't we?" he asked, "Do you and Ryuji get along?"

"Uh, we've been fighting." I don't really want to have to explain any details if I don't have to. Technically, it's not a lie.

"Oh? I'm also fighting with him. What a coincidence." The man looked way too happy right now. What kind of father would be happy about a fight with his son?

"He's a good guy. I guess I wish we could get along." Although I know that that's never going to happen.

"Yeah, so do I. Look, you're already finished with the chopping! Why don't you go pass it out to the patients?"

"Why don't you pass it out yourself?" I asked as I looked up. I saw Bon's dad stumbling away.

He turned back to look at me, "I'm glad we met! Let's talk again sometime."

I picked up the tray of watermelon and decided to just do what he asked. It's something that I can do to occupy my time, as well as something that I can do to help out.

Unfortunately, I just had to pick the room with the fighting families first. I should probably move on...

But the Kyoto trio just have to pop in and break it up before storming away again. Bon looks really angry, and I hope he's alright. Why is no one in this temple happy with each other? I guess no one is going to be in the mood for this watermelon.

It's dinnertime and I finally have a real assigned job from someone who isn't drunk! I get to pass out lunchboxes to people! I know that it's a stupid job and that they won't trust me with anything else and that I should feel really depressed that they don't trust me at all, but just being able to something, even this small, makes me really really happy. I don't know why, I just feel so good about it right now.

"Good job," Shura commented after all of us had finished passing out food, "now grab some food and get some rest. Here's a bag of soft drinks for you too. Now off with you."

"Hey Bon, have some dinner!" I called.

Bon grabbed the lunchbox from my hands and stormed off. I don't understand. Why is he acting this way when he was trying to be so patient back at school? Maybe it's because he's home and he's pressured to act a certain way? Or maybe it's less pressure for him to be nice to me, so now he can act the way he wants. None of us can say anything, it's his home, after.

"Wanna eat together Konekomaru?" I ask, smiling.

"I... need to go say hello to my family." Konekomaru walked away quickly.

I popped open a soft drink, and Shima sat several feet away from me on a rock. I guess he feels awkward.

I took a swig of the drink. Funny, it's more bitter than I remember soda being. "You don't want to eat with me either?" I glared at him.

"I love lunchboxes!" Shima said.

"Aren't you kind of far away? Or were you lying about not being scared of me?" I accused. Why am I acting this way? Normally I can keep my temper under better control than this.

"Not at all. I just don't like inconveniences. Like walking and such."

For some reason, I think that what he just said is absolutely hilarious. I start laughing like an idiot. "I always knew you weren't cool." I pulled out my coolness ranking list and point below the paper, "In my coolness ranking, you're down here."

"Even lower than Kuro? That's harsh. And you're laughing way too much. Avoiding you while we're here is the biggest inconvenience of all. I like talking to you like we're normal people, so I quit that other bit. Bon and Koneko are too uptight about this whole thing..."

"And you're super uncoolio."

"And now you're talking weird. I'm not so sure that Shura gave us sodas..."

"Huh? What'chu talkin' 'bout?"

"You must be really lightweight, Okumura."

"Whaddyou mean? I never drink! I'm not old enough yet!"

"I think it's time to just turn in. It's getting late right? It's dark out?"

"Yeah" I agreed. It is dark out. And I feel really tired, a little dizzy or lightheaded or something. And now Shima's bringing me to my room. I guess that's really nice of him. He doesn't have to watch me like that. He's a really good friend. Why didn't I think that before? Shima's always been a pretty decent guy, laid back, chill, not as super smart and stick-up-his-ass like Bon is... I think I like Shima. Maybe he'll be my new bestest friend. After Kuro of course. And Yukio! Yukio will always be my best friend because he's my brother.

I'm worried about Yukio. Every time I see him, he smells just a little bit stronger. I don't want him to go through what I'm going through. Not just the demon thing, but the cutting thing. It's not fun. It's miserable and it hurts a lot. I don't want my little brother to suffer like that. I want Yukio to be happy. He's smart and nice and really good at everything. Yukio is a good person so he deserves to feel happy all the time. I don't want him to feel like me. I don't want him to be like me. I don't want him to copy me. I want to copy him, being smart and good and stuff. I'll trail after him and catch up to him. Maybe some day I can surpass him. But I can't do that if he's falling back as far as me. Yukio just can't. He can't be like me. Mephisto has to be wrong. Yukio just can't!

I soon found myself slumped on a bed, and shortly after, snoring under the blankets.

The whole time he was giving his report, Yukio felt what could almost be called happy. It was strange. It was the sort of cynical happy that one experiences after being right about something horrible happening. Not schadenfreude happy, but cynical happy. A kind of dark and twisted optimistic feeling that one knows isn't actually good, but doesn't care because it's better than feeling like shit.

That's how Yukio felt. It was functional, and oddly pleasant. He felt detached from everything, and while he was fully conscious of performing his actions, while he still had complete control over what he was doing, he still felt like a spectator. This report didn't have to be real, it didn't matter at all, it was insignificant in the whole. It didn't matter a single bit, and that made him feel almost giggly.

Is this what the chemicals and hormones that the body releases in response to an injury do when one is not actually in pain, shock, or panic? If so, it's really easy to see why one could get addicted to it. Yukio was certainly enjoying his cutter's high, even if it was only a shallow and very superficial cut. Yes, he could call them cuts. That's what they were, right? If that's what his brother had done, then that's what he had done too. It wasn't science otherwise.

But what is good science without a bit of enjoyment? Yukio certainly couldn't think of a reason why simply enjoying the aftereffects of an experiment would be wrong. Sure, if the experiment was dealing with narcotics, it would be bad, but these drugs were naturally produced in his body as a response to a stimulus. Nothing wrong with what is natural anyways.

Why would it matter anyways? It is not detracting from his results. Instead, it is adding to his results. Yukio felt that he would soon have enough data to come up with a reasonable conclusion, and with that conclusion, he would be able to confront his brother. Once he could confront Rin, this could all be over and Rin would go back to normal.

With Rin back to normal, Yukio felt that both of their lives would become much better.

But Rin has been doing this cutting thing for a long time. Yukio had to wonder what was actually Rin's "normal."

Either way, the "normal" would include Rin being happy again, and if he was still doing this self-harming thing, then he was most certainly not happy. Not like Yukio was, anyways. Rin wouldn't understand. He was doing all of this for his brother. That's why this act made him so happy.

It's all for science and to help another person. Completely selfless. That's what the difference was. And that's why it was okay for him but not his brother. Intentions matter. Now, it's just a matter of time before the conclusion is clear.

Soon, Yukio figured, the two of them will be able to talk, and it will be great.