Chapter 38 - And It All Ended With A Big Bang!

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AN: Warning! The later part of this chapter deals with a sensitive subject which some readers may find upsetting.

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Never had he ever imagined that this was how his life would end.

Edward was taken off his feet and flung backwards by the pressure wave. He hit the ground, hard, breath knocked out of his lungs.

The darkness welcomed him gladly.

Oh how he wished to stay, fought to stay in the sweet, empty blackness that was his slumber, but something was wrong… Something was off. Something tugged at his mind through the darkness; an urgent, haunting sound that made itself known at infrequent intervals.

"elp-elp-elp-elp-somebodyeeelp!"

Slowly, the sound became clearer through the fog that surrounded his brain and consciousness returned to him like a punch in the gut.

"B-bella… " he tried to call out a response, but only a hoarse stutter came out. Bella… his Bella… was calling for help, with not a single soul to hear her cries. He had to pull himself together, had to gather his senses, had to be strong for Bella

He swallowed hard and tried again, "Bella!"

His voice was still just barely audible, but the response was instant. "Edward! Edward! Can you hear me? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? Edward!"

There was so much darkness. Not the dreamlike, blurry blackness from before, but one that stemmed from a lack of light sources and visual cues. He couldn't see her, but he could hear her; to his left, eight maybe nine feet away.

"Edward?" she called out for him again and he peered over to where her voice was coming from. She was so far away from him, he felt she might just as well have been on the other side of the planet.

"'m right h-here." His head hurt, his back hurt, his chest hurt and the rest of his body seemed to be aching out of sympathy. "I'm alright," he said through clenched teeth, more to assure himself than Bella.

"You weren't answering. I was afraid —"

"S'ry." He braced his shaky hands on the floor and pushed himself up to a sitting position. A wave of dizziness swept over him. What the hell just happened… an explosion? No, but a crash of some sort. Not another car crash, though…. No… He tried to think to the last thing he could remember, but nothing fit or made sense to him.

"Edward… We've got to get out of here… the roof…. the rest of the roof, it might still collapse and bury us."

The roof! The roof had literally come crashing in. It had caved in the weight of the snow. All at once everything came back to him.

"Bella, are you alright? Talk to me! Are you hurt?" He pushed himself up on his hands and knees in blind panic and then forced his body to move forward in something that resembled a crawl.

"I'm okay, but you've got to help me. I can't…. " She broke off and let out a choked sob before continuing. "….can't move. It hurts so bad."

"Bella, where does it hurt?" he asked, slowly feeling his way towards her. There was debris scattered everywhere; sharp, irregular pieces of broken glass, wood and metal, all mixed with snow and ice and other objects he couldn't identify.

"My shoulder." Her voice was fainter than it had been mere seconds ago, like she was losing her strength.

Crap! It seemed to take forever for him to reach her side.

"Don't pass out on me!" he begged as he pushed forward. "Did you hit your head? Did you lose consciousness at all? "

"No, I caught myself with my hands, but the impact was too much…my bad arm…it caved and I landed on my shoulder."

"What about your neck and back? What about….?" His voice wavered, afraid to ask the question out loud.

"I caught myself with my hands. I would never… " She panted as though each word was a strain. "I would rather risk breaking neck and bones than have anything happen to… to…"

"I know. I'm sorry. Bella, you'll be okay…. you're going to be fine," he assured her, finally getting close enough to make out the form of her body enshrouded in shadows. "You just hang strong. Help is on it's way. It has to be. The collapse was loud as hell. Somebody must have heard…something. They should be here any minute."

He tried reaching out to check her for injuries, but she let out a low growl to warn him. Edward lowered his hand, comprehension dawning on him. She wasn't exaggerating her pain. He would have to be very careful not to worsen the situation.

"Sorry, love. Can you move your fingers or bend your elbow?"

A pitiful whimper answered his question. He could vaguely make out her face and her tense expression told him everything. This was going to be painful, exceedingly painful for Bella.

He realized her teeth were chattering and quickly pulled off his shirt, draping it over her.

"We really need to get out of here." He staggered to his feet, splinters of wood and other fragments falling from him like fish scales as he moved. "Do you think you can sit up if I help you?"

"Without passing out? No, but what choice do I have?"

"I won't lie, this is going to hurt, a lot," he murmured, as he bent down and looped one of his arms under her knees. With his other arm he then slowly and very gently moved to cradle her neck. "Listen to me Bella. Tuck your elbow to your body and try to hold your shoulder as still as yo-…"

"Edward, wait!" She stopped him abruptly, her hand gripping his wrist like a vice. "I hear something!"

And sure enough seconds later a sickening sound of metal being wrenched apart was heard over the cacophony of howling winds, rustling trees and loose objects falling, breaking and shattering to pieces as the building continued to quite literally fall apart around them.

"Shit! We can't wait any longer. I'm sorry, " he apologized, before utilizing all and every ounce of strength and willpower he had left to sweep her off the floor and into his arms.

Bella shrieked in what appeared to be a mixture between of shock and pain,cursing him to death, hell, and everything in between.

"Sshh, you'll be okay. I'll get us out of here." He hoped it was true, prayed for whatever strength the gods may grant him. "You'll be okay. You'll be okay," he repeated as though it was some sort of mantra.

Someone above must have been listening because suddenly there was light. Suddenly he could see where he was putting his feet, which was an immense help. Out of seemingly nowhere, a beam of blinding white light had appeared. It flew through the air, slicing through the darkness as easily as butter… Voices followed the light, voices calling out their names.

"Edward! Bella!"

"OVER HERE! WE'RE OVER HERE!"

The light stopped moving around, and pointed straight at them.

"Edward, are you guys alright?"

Carlisle… Edwards legs almost gave out from relief when he recognized his father's voice, but then Bella began slipping in his armsand hehad to force himself to stay upright and fight to hold onto her.

"W-We're alive, but we'll need an ambulance."

"I've already called. They are on their way."

A second beam of light joined the first one. "We're going in! Hang in there, we're coming."

Emmett… Crap! "NO!" Edward protested with a sudden sense of urgency. His brother wasn't exactly known for his precise moves and finesse. "Stay where you are. Things are still collapsing left and right. Any movement could set it off."

It was an understatement of cosmic proportions. There were some pretty nasty pieces of glass hanging down from what remained of the roof. The last thing he needed was to have his brother come rushing to the rescue only to end up beheaded or otherwise dismembered.

Now that there was more light, he could see the full extent of the blow. Almost the whole glass portion of the roof was lying in a mangled mess on the ground, RIGHT where he had been standing, arguing with Bella,mere minutes ago.

If they had still been… If they hadn't... It was painfully clear that what the outcome would have been, had they been standing directly under that roof, but there was no point in dwelling on 'what-ifs'. They were still in a potentially dangerous situation and Edward knew he had to move, had to push forward, hat to get them out of there.

He took a staggering step. Then another. Every move, every breath, was a battle, but he fought ahead anyway. The time for rest would come later, but for now, he had a job to do.

The muscles in his legs were burning under the strain and Bella slipped, inch by inch, from his arms. Was she even conscious anymore? She was so quiet and certainly did feel heavier than before.

He scraped his leg on something sharp and cold but he couldn't afford to slow down. There was broken glass everywhere, and this was shatterproof glass, he could only imagine how bad it would have been if his mother wasn't the kind of person that believed in using only the highest qualitymaterials and contractors.

Just then, another segment of something, most likely more glass, broke away and came crashing to the ground few meters behind them. Dust, snow, and smaller bits of debris swirled andricocheted in all directions. Instantly the air filled with yelling and shouting.

"WATCH OUT!"

"Keep moving!"

"F*ck! It's collapsing! It's collapsing!"

"Edward, keep walking, I'll meet you half way." Emmett again. His voice boomed louder than the others.

Edward didn't protest this time. There was no place for caution, forethoughts or deliberation in his mind. His only thoughts were of Bella and how desperately he wanted to keep her safe.

Hoisting her up, he kept going. One incredibly strenuous step at a time until his brother was there, ready to take over.

"OW! Ow, ow, ow, ow! That F*ing hurts!" Bella whimpered, as Edward shifted herbody. He felt bad for causing her pain, but relieved to hear anything from her at all. "I know honey, I know… I'm sorry," he apologized, passing her over to Emmett, who gathered her up and immediately began making his way back towards the front of the pool house.

Edward followed, stumbling along as best he could. Eventually, though it seemed like an eternityto Edward,they were out of the damage building and in the clear. Well, in the clear as far as falling objects were concerned.

He felt a blanket being draped over him and an arm being placedaround his shoulders. "No," he rasped, his voice oddly strained, "You need to help Bella first!" He tried to push the arms away. "Where is she?! I need to know she's okay!"

"Your brother is carrying her inside, where it's warm. The ambulance will be here shortly, but in the meanwhile we need to get you both out of this cold."

"Bella is inside?"

"Yes."

"Then that's where I should be too, "he nodded, suddenly feeling years older. "Dad, you've got to help me. I don't think I can walk another step."

"That's why I'm here, Edward, That's why I'm here."

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So, I've got news for you, diary,

My brother is back in town and wants to see me (freaking unbelievable, I know!). Not sure how to feel about it. This guy has been dead to me for years. He says he's back to wreak havoc and get retribution for the 'damages' done to his reputation. Again, not sure how I feel about any of this. With James you never know when he's serious or when he's just playing around..

He was a good brother to me growing up. He was a jerk sometimes, but if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have any pleasant childhood memories at all. I loved listening to him and was fascinated by his knowledge of things. He was my lifeline for so long. He was always showing me cool things. He was good to me until he wasn't. I'll never forgive him for letting THEM put me away, for letting THEM rob me of my freedom… Of course, one could argue that it was the other way around; that I had a part in putting him away. My memories are blurry at best, but supposedly THEY had me give testimony against him. By 'they' and 'them' I mean my mother, and the therapists and doctors that my new daddy had forced on me….oh fun times… I doubt anything I said in court was too incriminating, considering how drugged up they had me at the time, but still… James left me to fend for my self, never to contact me again. Until now that is….

I've only spoken to him briefly on the phone, but he has made it clear that he wants us to meet up. I don't necessarily want to see him, but he says he can help me with money, says that he will set me up with a new apartment. Now lord knows I can't back down on an offer like that. Did I forgot to mention I was evicted from my last place of residence? The kiddo was sick one to many times. If you can't work you can't buy food and put a roof over your head. The following weeks were survived couch-hopping from friend to friend. Well, mostly Maria's couch, seeing as she's the only one that's even remotely tolerant to baby cries, and stinky diapers.

So yeah, I'm considering meeting up with my brother. He is the only member of my family that I've ever cared about. It's like the circle is finally coming together and connecting. Without James I would have never met my true love. If me and Eddie never met, I wouldn't be stuck with a screaming baby to nurse. And without that screaming baby I wouldn't be this short of cash. And if I wasn't short of cash, I wouldn't be considering meeting up with my brother again. However, if my brother actually comes trough for me, I'll finally have the money I need to go after my love and claim him as mine, once and for all… See, a circle completed, a destiny fulfilled.

Speaking of destiny. Last night I dreamt I was back in that car again with Edward. I was straddling his lap in the front seat, my hands inside his boxers, fingers wrapped around him, stoking him, getting him off. Then I woke up. DAMN. IT! Always at the good part.

Oh well, it was a great night and I shall choose to relive it whenever I feel like it. Conveniently, in my mind he's always eager and willing. He may put on a show of being reluctant, but he always give in. Just like he did that night… Convincing him to get in the car with me was easy, but once inside he acted like he was ready to bolt at any second. I didn't buy the act; in fact it made me even more sure of what I'd known all along; he wanted me. It was just going to take some gentle coaxing to get him to come to terms with it.

Of course, gentle wasn't exactly my strong suit back then, so when the subtle approach didn't work, I took matters into my own hand.. Yes literally… Without further ado, my hand went for his crotch, squeezing him through his pants. That certainly did the trick! He bit back a throaty moan, inhaling loudly. I added more pressure and a rubbing motion and he threw his head back on the couch and squeezed his eyes shut.

I've got magic hands it seems, because after that he was a lot more agreeable. He let me untuck his shirt, unfasten his belt, and unzip his pants. He even raised his hips so I could slide his slacks off. He willingly let me touch him, feel him, stroke his quivering flesh.

So far so good, right?… but THEN confused the hell out of me telling me to slow down.

He only said it once, just once, and there wasn't enough conviction in his voice to make me take his request seriously. Besides his arousal betrayed him. He was quite clearly enjoying the attention, growing hard and thick in my hands. Determined not to give him time to think, I jerked him off like a pro. Of course, afterwards he acted as if he was getting ready to bolt again. Silly boy, I wasn't done yet, not even close.

He scrambled to tuck himself back into his boxers again, but thankfully his crotch was a wet, sticky mess, making it damn near impossible for him to hide the goodies away. I did very much like having his jewels on full display so I knew a change of tactics was in order. I decided then and there that it was due time for another emotional breakdown. Cue the water works…. I sobbed, and I sobbed, and then I sobbed some more, making him promise to stay with me and keep me safe until I could clock out and go home. I told him I couldn't go back inside alone. I told him that if I left early without collecting my paycheck at the end of my shift, I'd lose the money I was entitled to, for sure. And then I went for the kill, by telling him another phony sob story about my abusive jerk of an ex. Edward, being the good guy that he is, agreed, albeit rather hesitantly, to stay put for another 43 minutes. What were another 43 minutes between friends, eh?

For starters, it gave me plenty of time to let him cool down and lull him in the false sense of being in control of the situation. I offered Edward the last bottle of Jaeger and what was left of my pack of smokes. He turned down the booze, telling me he preferred being lucid enough to know what he was doing. We talked some, or I did anyway. He mostly stared out the window with glassy, vacant eyes, occasionally making humming noises to himself. Having him fall asleep on me had never been part of the plan, but there was this whole refractory-period thing to take into consideration.

I waited… and waited… and waited, until finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I could see the shock on his face as I unceremoniously straddled his lap and went to work on getting him hot and bothered again. I unclasped my padded bra and let my boobs hang free just inches away from his face. They bounced along nicely as I kept grinding against him in a steady rhythm. He seemed enthralled by it all, dazed even… for a while at least…Then, with a growl, his hands came down to grab my hips, and he told me to stop.

This he actually said twice, but just like before there was no conviction in his voice.

I silenced him with my mouth. Grabbing the back of his neck, I pulled his face to mine and forcefully snaked my tongue into his mouth. His grip on me loosened and I was back to moving up and down on his lap again. The friction was intoxicating and it made me forget that he had ever told me to stop. He seemed to have forgotten about it too, judging by the way he grunted and bit down on my lower lip.

I hiked my black uniform skirt up above my waist and was pleasantly surprised when Edward was the one to pull the crotch of my panties aside. See, not as reluctant as he pretended to be. He muttered something about returning the favor as his fingers stroked my inner thigh. Now that was thoughtful of him, but I had bigger plans. I wanted more from him, more of him than just his fingers.

His trousers were still undone, gaping at the front and his boxers were already halfway off. It didn't take more than a yank to get them out of the way. I went fast , worried he's change his mind again. Lowering myself down on him, I took him as deep as I could as fast as I could. It wasn't entirely pleasurable as it was a little abrupt, but then I started moving and the friction from the thrusting burned my core. It was so surreal, having him under me, in me like that. This sensation will live in my memory forever. Now this is the moment I relive over and over again. What came afterwards...a big let down… I try not to think about it too much.

I moved faster, squeezed him tighter, grew wetter. He didn't move his hips much nor did he pull me to him or meet my thrusts. It didn't matter though, the friction alone would have been enough to get me off… Key phrase 'would have been'…

Three thrusts were all I got. Suddenly, there was a knock on the thickly fogged car window. DAMN. IT! I nearly cried when I felt Edward's dick slip out of me. A flashlight moved rapidly in the dark. Then a deep voice introduced himself as the car park patrol officer and asked if everything was okay. We didn't answer him, but fortunately, the guy wasn't a complete asshole. He simply informed us he needed to check the rest of the area and wouldn't be back again for another ten minutes. If we were gone when he came back, he'd forget he'd even seen us.

Now ten minutes was more than enough to finish what we'd started. Would have been more than enough for a quick, but satisfying fuck, only it was like a switch had been flipped. The mood was gone, along with loverboy's erection. His hard-on had softened quite noticeably, leaving him limp like a wet noodle …. But he didn't even cum. How was that even possible? Life's unfair I tell you!

So yeah, the mood was killed. I moved to reach for him again, but he wouldn't have it. This time when Edward told me STOP and NO and GET OFF ME, there was plenty of force behind his words. The same went for the shove with which he practically lifted me off him. He was out of the seat, out of the car in a matter of seconds. He didn't leave though, instead he told me, through clenched teeth, that I had two minutes to get myself together. Even drunk and completely out of it, he still kept his word and escorted me inside..

See this is how I know he's one of the good guys, this is how I know next time will be perfect. No interruptions. No distractions. No interference. Just perfect.

All of us get lost in the darkness - dreamers learn to steer by the stars

All of us do time in the gutter - dreamers turn to look at the cars

- The Pass (1989)

Love always,
Angela Cullen

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AN: So.. What do you think? I know quite a few of you dislike reading Angela's diary entries. I'm pretty sure this was the final to last one. I'm ready to put stalker Angela to rest once and for all.

I'm going to go ahead and address some questions that I've received regarding the Angela/Edward hook up.

Q:Was Edward raped?

A: I've always answered no to this question, but that was before I actually wrote the chapter. Now that I have read through it a few times, I can see that the answer to the question isn't crystal clear. Feel free to give me your opinion on this. I'm a fairly liberal-minded Swede and I get the sense that there are some cultural differences on this topic. Just remember to keep it civil ;) This is fanfiction after all.

My personal beliefs are as follows:

He entered the car willingly. He let her touch him, kiss him, jerk him off.

He did tell her to slow down, and to stop, but in the end he was the one that pushed her panties aside, so up to that point I'd say he was still game.

The knock on the window was crucial, it gave him time to collect himself. That's when he told her NO, and lifted her off his lap and got himself away from the situation. He was never restrained in any way, and with him being twice her size and could have shoved her away at any point, but he didn't.

He was definitely used, abused and manipulated. I know the alcohol in his system is the springing point of this. He was drunk, but not to the point where he could not make his own decisions. I believe his mind was clear enough to know what he was getting himself into. The question is, have I managed to get that point across in my writing?

Q:Was Edward drugged?
A: nope, Carlisle ran a tox screen. There was not other drugs in his system other than the alcohol. And his alcohol levels were not dangerously high.

Q: Why doesn't Edward remember having sex with Angela?

A: The human mind is a very complex mechanism and I believe that we will never come to understand it completely.

For starters, what if Edward's his mind rationalizes that it wasn't sex because they were interrupted and never completed the act? Just a thought…

I'm sure his defense mechanisms kicked in. He cannot allow himself to remember the truth, because it reminds him of another time, another situation with a much darker outcome. A situation, he couldn't get away from until it was too late.

I don't know if you all remember the exact order of events (it will be dealt with again in a future chapter), but after Edward returned inside the club again he came in contact with some bad shrimps, had an allergic reaction and a panic attack that landed him in hospital. He thought he was dying, he saw his life flashing before his eyes. And afterwards whenever he would think back on that night, his medical crisis is first thing that springs to his mind. Not the girl he almost fucked in the parking lot.

Q: Edward has met Angela several of times, why doesn't he recognize her?

A: Angela was fighting an uphill battle from the get go. While she felt she had met the love of her life, the truth was that she didn't even register on Edward radar. He never really saw her.

If my memory serves me correctly, he ran into her 4 or 5 times over a period of six years. But it was a different Angela he met every time; the starry eyed teenager, the self-conscious awkward outcast, the manic stalker, the ferocious flirt. It was the same person, but with a different look and a different personally each time. Angela was not a stable individual. There were up- ward spirals and downward spirals altering her mood.

Q:Wait?! Did Angela get pregnant from precum?

A: Yep, sort of. Precum doesn't contain any sperm, however it CAN have sperm in it if there is any sperm left over in the urethra from a previous ejaculation. The chances of getting pregnant from this are very slim, but it is still a possibility.

Q: Do you really think your plot is realistic at all?

A: This is fanfiction, not everything needs to make sense or add up. It's all about the reading experience.