In any event 11

A/N= Sorry for the delay folks, been a little under the weather and dealing with my own small family drama. Will update my other fics as soon as poss. Thank you xx

Kate had never been great with silences, she had that need to fill them, to chatter, to try and defuse tension, relax people. This wasn't so easy with Celia. Since the very beginning of their acquaintance, Kate had bent over backwards to please the woman, to earn her approval and to this day, she didn't believe that she had, not even close. They had just about managed to negotiate their way to a mutual tolerance and that was as much as Kate cared to hope for.

The truth was probably that nobody would ever be good enough for Caroline in the eyes of her Mother. Man or Woman. She had never been impressed by John, even before he had destroyed the marriage.

"They're sound asleep." Kate said finally as she moved into the farm kitchen, having lingered hesitantly in the living room on descending the steep and narrow staircase.

Celia gave her the slightest glance as she continued to dry up the dishes that had been sitting on the draining board, mostly tea cups, an endless amount of mismatched mugs. No one had really eaten anything much today, but a cup of tea always made the waiting more bearable and the task of brewing up was something to do with restless hands.

"Well, that's one less thing to worry about." Celia responded with a sigh.

Kate wrapped her arms comfortingly around her own middle, pulling her cardigan close. "Yes." She said, grateful that they had anything to agree on.

"I might give Caroline a ring and see how they're getting on." Celia announced, more breezily than she felt.

"I just got a text." Kate admitting, feeling a sting of guilt that she had been the recipient. "He's in with them now."

"Oh." Celia remarked, her face giving nothing away as she passed Kate and went to sit in the living room. "I don't know what you must think of us, all this trouble. We really have had a quiet couple of years as it goes, since...well, since the last time you were around."

Kate sat down on the far end of the couch. Room for another body in the space between them, but no one around.

"Everybody's families have drama's." Kate offered sympathetically.

Celia frowned critically at her. "Being arrested for killing their husbands? I don't think so." She huffed.

"No..." Kate had walked into that one and Celia was an expert at making her feel like a bumbling idiot. "I just meant..."

"I suppose you're thinking that Alan shouldn't have lied for her all those years ago..." Celia said suddenly.

"I wasn't really thinking that..." Kate defended.

"Well, when Mya get's a little older you'll realise, you'd do anything for them, you'd lie, steal, cheat and that's the least of it!" Celia said firmly.

"I know...I know I would." Kate nodded in agreement.

"You probably think, listen to her, I'd do anything for my girl, I know that you probably think I did nothing for Caroline, that I got in the way of her happiness... on more than one occasion..." Celia went on.

"I never thought that, I never said that, I wouldn't. Most of what I've heard about you and Caroline, has come from you...I don't know much, just that you have always been close and that she loves you very much." Kate explained, kindly.

Celia considered the woman beside her for a long moment, it was strange that the person Celia loved most in all the world should have such strong feelings...such love for this woman and yet Celia knew so little about her, understood so little, it was a barrier between herself and Caroline and one that Celia knew she wanted to be rid of, soon. If there was anything that the current business with Gillian reminded her of it was the fact that you never know what is round the corner and that you have to know who is on your side.

"Do you think perhaps if I had reacted differently, back then, when she first told me...Caroline...she might have been with a woman all this time, she might have been in love...?" A question now, underlined with insecurity, no more assumptions.

"I don't think its as simple as that, it wasn't just your approval she needed. And she did have love, with John, she loved him, she had the boys!" Kate assured. "You can't turn back the clock and god knows I wouldn't want you to, she wouldn't be who she is, if you did." Kate argued.

Celia nodded agreement. "I hate to think that she ended up like I did, trapped with someone she didn't love...and that somehow I was to blame, for all those wasted years."

Kate's expression changed. "Have you ever said any of this to her?" She asked suddenly. "Have the two of you ever really discussed it?" Kate shook her head slowly at the face that Celia made at the suggestion. "The pair of you need your heads knocking together, believe me, even now! She doesn't blame you Celia, she never did, but you need to hear that from her."

Celia shot Kate a look of surprise and confusion.

"Sometimes it is scary how similar you are." Kate said more to herself than Celia.

xxxx

"Wednesday?!" Raff said. "They're just going to keep her there until Wednesday? Can they do that?" He demanded, moving his feet from one spot to another.

"They have charged her, Raff. She'll be remaining in police custody until she appears at the magistrates court, then Natalie assumes that the case will be passed to crown court for trial." Caroline tried to say exactly what she had been told.

"Trial? What trial? There must be some mistake. She hasn't done anything." The young man cried.

"She still isn't saying anything at the moment Raff, they're asking her a lot of questions about things that happened a lot of years ago and I think she is finding it a little difficult, it was a difficult time." Caroline shrugged helplessly. "She hasn't slept, she isn't thinking straight. When she gets some sleep and when it sinks in, I'm sure she can tell them what happened and this mess can all get sorted out." Caroline told him with a practiced confidence that she really didn't feel.

Raff hung on her every word and nodded now as he brushed one tear quickly from his cheek and nodded certainly. "Yeah, I bet your right. They'll see on Wednesday, she hasn't done anything and they'll send her home, they'll have to."

Caroline nodded making her face unreadable. What were they going to do if Gillian didn't get bail? She knew that her Oxford friend was an amazing brief, but if Gillian continued to keep her mouth shut, wouldn't that make her look guilty? If only Caroline could speak to her face to face. Tell her that none of this was her fault, that she needed to do whatever it took to get home.

Raff went upstairs to say goodnight to Calamity and also Caroline suspected, to have a cry without an audience, feeling the need, even now, to preserve his manly pride. He'd said he was knackered, being out of the habit of working on the farm on his own and that he wondered how his mum did it all.

Celia had taken Alan up to bed an hour ago, not long after they had returned from the station, he had looked pale and pained and Caroline could feel her mothers concern, had heard the quiet reminder for him to take his pills before they retired for the evening.

Kate came back into the living room, having sat in the kitchen on Raffs return to allow Caroline some privacy to tell him the news they had all been waiting for. She brought Caroline tea and pulled her thick cardigan tightly around herself as the evening chill began to creep into the room.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" She asked now with real concern.

"I don't know." Caroline said, still standing and throwing open her arms helplessly. "I haven't got a clue."

"He knows you're doing everything you can though..." Kate soothed.

"Ha, fat lot of use that is!" Caroline scoffed, almost tearing at her hair. "I bought her some legal advice, big whoop! I can't actually do a bloody thing!"

"You're here." Kate interjected. "You are here for Raff and Alan, for Calamity and your mum. They're all leaning on you."

"Bloody hell, don't say that." Caroline said, thumping down beside Kate on the couch and taking up a cushion to hold in front of her, she sighed as she took the cup of tea Kate offered. "I just wish she would tell them she didn't do anything. What if she won't?" Caroline said, biting her lip and looking down into the cup as if it held the answer.

"Why wouldn't she?" Kate asked. "She has to stand up for herself, he killed himself, you told me he did and that she found him, that's whats important."

"Yes, but she told them that at the time and they still put her through the mill. It was his brother Robbie, you know, the policeman? He got it into his head that there was more to it and he wouldn't let it drop. I don't think he ever really let it drop and Raff said he's been sniffing around here again." Caroline said, with a sour look.

"I thought they used to be an item? Gillian and Robbie? I thought they had a bit of a casual thing going on. Surely he wouldn't be seeing her if he still thought she killed his brother?!" Kate asked incredulously.

"Maybe. I don't know...It must be him. She must have said something to him..." Caroline thought aloud.

"What could she have said?" Kate asked now, a little confused by Caroline's obvious frustration, the seed of suspicion suddenly sown.

Caroline shook her head at her words. "Nothing...nothing..." She dismissed.

Kate watched her girlfriend quietly before she spoke. "Caroline. You can tell me...if there is anything more...that you know...I mean, I know that you and Gillian are close, she tells you things...has she told you something else?"

"Like what?" Caroline asked, stalling, feeling out just how much Kate had guessed.

"I don't know." Kate said plainly. "But she did speak to you about that day? If she told you anything useful you should speak to Natalie about it...and you can tell me...anything. It wouldn't go any further, not...ever."

Caroline sat forward, her elbows on her knees and now she gnawed at her thumbnail anxiously. Her body was telling Kate a lot more than she was actually saying right now.

"She had a terrible time with him Kate." Caroline shook her head and looked grave. "He was...he was a bastard." Caroline said it quietly as if someone, somewhere may be listening, as if the ghost of Eddie still lingered in the farmhouse, and in a way, it did.

Kate's brow went high, even as she remained silent, focused. "You said once that he was a bully, that he used to abuse her."

"He did. Terrible things. I haven't told you the half of it and she hasn't told me very much, I imagine." Caroline confessed.

"But you don't think that there is anything in it? The murder charge? You said he killed himself. Just because she had a motive, doesn't mean she would actually...be even physically capable of doing anything..." Kate was shaking her head in disbelief as she spoke.

"People can snap, can't they?" Caroline said quickly, urgently. "Temporary insanity...a moment of madness, if they are pushed so far, if they are so badly abused..."

"I suppose, but you shouldn't think like that Caroline, You shouldn't doubt her, if she told you..." Kate began reasonably.

"She did it." Caroline blurted, her hands reaching for Kate's, holding them together beneath her own, as if in mutual prayer. "She killed him. She told me."

"What?" Kate's head pulled back doubtfully. "She told you? When?"

"A couple of years ago. Before Mum and Alan got married. I came here for the weekend, we got pissed and it all came out. She'd never told anyone before, hasn't since as far as I know. No one even knew about the abuse...unless they guessed...unless Alan guessed,but seeing him tonight...I know he hadn't. She hid it. She covered it all up. Well you wouldn't want people knowing about things like that, you wouldn't want someone who loved you to know that another person was doing things like that to you...would you?"

"No. I...don't think you would." Kate agreed, clearing her throat. "But are you sure you've got it right? She actually admitted to killing him? She didn't just mean what Alan said about helping him on his way? Maybe she felt guilty about that..."

"No...It wasn't that, she was very clear. She murdered him." Caroline said. "And I somehow have to do whatever I can to stop her from going to prison for it."

"Caroline, if she did ...what you are saying...do you realise how serious that is...and what you've done, you have kept her secret all this time...that's concealing a crime or accessory after the fact...you could get into a lot of trouble...you could end up in prison..." Kate rushed on as Caroline tried to turn away from the truth.

"Even more reason I have to speak to her and tell her to fight this..." Caroline said through gritted teeth.

"You can't speak with her, at least not before she appears in court and then...I think you should stay well out of this, you have gotten her some legal advice, you've done your part." Kate said.

"I can't abandon her now Kate, not just for her sake...for Alan, my Mum, Raff... you said so yourself...they're counting on me! I understand if you don't want to be involved...if you want to take Mya and get as far away from all this as you can, but this is my family ...I need to be here." Caroline stated, arms folded across her chest, holding her together, her chin high, waiting for the expected blow, almost welcoming it, sure that Kate would turn and flee. She had secretly been waiting for this since they met up again, for the end, for it all to blow up in her face.

Kate's brow raised in defiance. "If you think I'm going anywhere you've got another thing coming!" She said as if the idea alone was an insult. "No family drama, no matter how big is going to get rid of me now Caroline. If you stand by Gillian then so do I." She announced squaring her shoulders and turning them away from Caroline slightly, obstinately, folding her arms and throwing the blonde a hard look.

Caroline grinned, Mya often did exactly the same action in a carbon copy of the way Kate had just performed it. Usually when Kate herself was telling her she couldn't do something, Caroline had never marked the similarity so closely before. A small laugh burst forth and Caroline covered her mouth quickly as Kate turned curiously back to her, still with a scowl.

"Sorry!" Caroline said, raising her other hand as she giggled harder. "Sorry, I just...you looked just like My, when you..." A new round of soft relieved giggles at the surly look Kate was shooting her.

Caroline straightened quickly and inwardly counted to ten to calm herself. Calm now. "Sorry."

Kate shook off her own mood and softened a little as she realised that at least Caroline wasn't insisting, wasn't sending her away. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms securely around Caroline's middle, the blonde responding in kind.

"We are not going anywhere now Caroline, you don't have to handle this alone, we're in it together." Kate assured more softly this time and she sealed the promise with a chaste kiss.

Caroline took another, stronger kiss and set her forehead against Kate's. "Okay." She nodded."Okay, so what do we do next."

They stood in silent embrace for more than a minute before Caroline pulled away.

"I have to speak to Robbie." She announced.

Xx