Another's Arms (By Coldplay)
Right so this is kind of really, really sad so if you aren't in a place you can cry you might want to read this later.
This is based on the song Another's Arms by Coldplay and I suggest you listen to it before you read this, while you read it or after you read it. This is NOT a songfic because I don't like to read them so I wouldn't write one.
To those reading Ambassador's Journal, no I haven't abandoned it and I had the next chapter almost written two weeks after my last update but my laptop has killed it. Almost 11,000 words gone and I haven't had the heart for rewriting it. I'm hoping writing this might make me get back in the mood and I'm planning to put in a long filler chapter and then rewrite my lost one!
Right I hope you like this, well like as in like the writing and not the plot. I hate the plot soooo much but I just had to write it.
Another's Arms
Tonks was beautiful and fun and lovely and kind and Remus could repeat everything she was but it wouldn't drown out everything she wasn't.
She wasn't strong or childish or warm or easy or hopelessly romantic or broken. She wasn't the hand to help him up when he falls, she wasn't the body he dreamed of on cold nights and her arms weren't the arms he wished were wrapped around his body.
She was beautiful and she loved him but he couldn't forget bright grey eyes and the strong body of Sirius. The deep chuckle and the smooth voice that had sent shivers down his spine at inappropriate moments and had brought him to the heights of pleasure on stolen nights.
Thinking of Sirius hurt his heart and the burning spread across his whole body until tears fell and his throat became too sore to hold in the sobs any longer.
Remus looked down at the sleeping face and bright pink hair of Tonks that was lit up by the light of the muggle telly in his small rented flat in East London that his part time job as a cleaner just about paid for.
Feeling the sobs build again Remus gently unwrapped the thin pale arms from around his waist. Sighing as she muttered in her sleep he laid her back down upon the frayed sofa and then he stood, stretched before he walked towards the flats tiny window, which offered a view of a small park. Remus stood there and stared at the mix of people walking in the vanishing sunlight of the winters evening. There were families, couples and Remus was sure he got a glimpse of two young men, barely older than boys, sneaking into the wooded area of the park, hands clasped tightly together.
He stood and sighed, eyes now searching the stars.
He had pushed Tonks away begging and praying to any god that would listen that she would believe and understand his lies but she hadn't, she had pushed and pushed until he had no reason to say no.
He couldn't tell her that he had been in a secret relationship with Sirius both before his imprisonment and after his escape from prison could he? Sirius had wanted to keep it between just them until the end of the war but Sirius was gone, fallen through a one-way door, never to return to this life. He would only see his Padfoot again when he too moved on to the next life.
Which, if Remus could have his way, wouldn't be long; he couldn't deal with being so lonely anymore, couldn't even deal the thoughts of his lover's godson, his pack-mate's child because parts of him blamed Harry for Sirius' death, sure he understood that Harry had just been trying to do what he thought was the only way to help but that didn't matter when the boy's actions had led too this.
Best just not to think of Harry or that day: best just to think of the good days and the future, as limited as it may be.
Almost silent steps behind him made him turn and watch as the young woman walked towards him, a small smile gracing her heart-shaped face and pale pink lips.
Gods she was beautiful, her eyes were a sea blue today and her hair a bright pink that flashed blood red in the low glow from the television screen. Beautiful but not who he longed to see walking towards him with such a seductive smile.
"Remus? You okay?" Her voice sweet and feminine, nothing like the smooth deep voice he prayed to hear. He knew why she had come over that night and he didn't want to, couldn't touch her soft small body when all he wanted was lean muscles and a hard hot body thrusting into him, bringing him to the highest heights of pleasure possible.
Dora, as he had taken to calling her, wanted to take their relationship to the next level, they been 'dating' months but so far he hadn't managed to give her more than hold her hand and give her a polite kiss on the cheek or lips once in a while.
She was standing before him now, her dress short and the top buttons open, allowing glimpses of her smooth skin and the soft flesh of her breasts with every move.
Soon he found her kissing him, her arms wrapped around his neck and her breasts pushed against his chest. After a few long moments Tonks broke away from him, giggling with bright eyes, flushed cheeks and lipstick smeared mouth.
Still giggling she led him towards his bedroom and the tiny single bed that was one of only a few pieces of furniture the room housed.
It wouldn't matter if he said no, that he didn't want to do this. She would just push and push till he gave in, best just to get in over with so he could get on with his plan.
In the bedroom now Dora pushed him down onto the bed before standing before him, unbuttoning her short blue dress. The undoing of each button revealed no bra and more pale flesh.
Her breasts were each a beautiful, pale handful topped with dark pink nipples, her belly was flat and her underwear couldn't hide the dark curls that rested between her legs.
Giggling again, just dressed in a thong and her black high-heeled shoes, she dropped to the cold floor between his own legs and Remus fell back on the bed and when she slowly popped the first button on his trousers he closed his eyes, wishing that it was another's hands.
Another's Arms
Remus felt sick as his woke wrapped in arm's too thin, too soft to be those he dreamed of. Gasping he sat up and remembered what had happened only hours before. He and Tonks had taken their relationship to the next level and they had fallen asleep in his tiny bed. Turning his head he could see that his movement haven't woken the sleeping woman beside him and he was safe from her questions but seeing her pale and naked form lying next to him made his belly clench tightly and the feelings of despair washed through him.
He had betrayed his lover, he had betrayed Sirius with the man's own cousin and there was no way he could be forgiven for that but he had to try. It was time to move the plan forward, time to end this misery of a life.
Dressing in his finest wizarding robes Remus walked away from the sleeping girl in his bed and towards the flat's cupboard where he removed two small black locked boxes. Tapping the wooden lid of one box with his wand it opened to reveal letters and photos, the top letters were for those he was leaving behind like Tonks, Harrys and the rest of the Order. Under those letters were letters that had been sent between himself and Sirius during and after their later years at Hogwarts. If the letters didn't make things clear than the photos would: There were hundreds of photos, some of all of them but most of him and Sirius, some were innocent enough, the men hugging and laughing but many of the other photos would reveal the truth to any who saw them. Sirius kissing Remus on the lips, neck, chest, hands and Remus doing the same in return; the kisses were those of lovers and Remus knew that the photos damned him.
There were many more photos but they would stay with Remus in the other box, the box that would stay locked until he got where his plan ended.
Leaving the open box on the table he took one last look at the sleeping girl in his bed before he disappeared with a small crack that woke the girl briefly before she settled back to sleep, unaware that her lover had left never to return.
Another's Arms
During their Hogwarts' days there had been very few places Sirius and Remus could go to enjoy the company of each other peacefully and one of those places was a small clearing in the forest just outside of the Hogwarts wards that they had found during a Full Moon night and had returned to again and again.
There was nothing amazing about the clearing, there were no beautiful flowers and at that time of year the grass was damp and the clouds were rumbling overhead.
In the middle of the clearing was a large flat rock that was about the size of a dining table and that was where Remus lay silently for a few hours, thinking of better times, until the rumbling clouds released their burden of water upon the forest.
Removing the wet robes he sat and opened the second black box and inside were the more intimate letters that they had given each other and photos that were for their eyes only.
Looking through the photos with a small smile Remus ran his hand through his greying brown hair and blinked the tears back from broken eyes.
One photo caught his attention for longer than the others had; it had been taken in this very clearing after they had enjoyed the pleasures of each other's bodies for hours, slowly teasing and tasting and in the end Remus had collapsed, exhausted but happy and Sirius had decided that Remus looked so good and delectable that he had to have a photo to use, as Sirius had crudely put it, as 'wanking' material. The photo was of Remus one his back in the grass, naked and skin flushed red. His legs were spread open seductively and one hand was placed over his right nipple as the other arm rested behind his head.
Remus remembered that Sirius had taken the photo before proving that he wasn't quite as exhausted yet.
Placing the most of photos and letters back in the box he took out the only other things in the box: a small black glass bottle and within that was a single gulp of thick red liquid and there was also a larger clear bottle full of a milky blue liquid.
The black bottle had no label but when opening the bottle the sweet smell of belladonna and the bitter taste of hemlock told any all they needed to know about what the liquid would do.
The clear bottle did indeed have a label and in a clear hand somebody had labelled it 'Sleeping potion, dose strong'.
Knowing it was time Remus raised the clear bottle to his lips and swallowed it all, the taste was bland and the potion was easy enough to take. Straight away Remus could feel the potion affecting him, his eyes began to burr and his movement were much slower.
Time limited he opened the second black glass bottle before raising that too to his lips. The taste of this liquid was much more bitter and harder to swallow but Remus pushed himself and soon both bottles were back in the box and Remus was lying back on the rock with burry eyes staring at the almost full moon.
His robes under his head and his favourite photo of himself and Sirius in hand he fell into dreams of strong warm arms holding him and the taste of hot lips upon his own and grey eyes darkened with lust staring deep into his soul.
The dreams faded to nothing and Remus Lupin, Marauder, friend, lover, slipped from this world and into the next.
From dream arms to real ones, to real lips not ghost ones and the eyes that stared into his soul were grey, sad and welcoming.
Another's Arms
After the war it was presumed that Death Eaters taken Remus Lupin somehow during that night and a memorial was held in place of a funeral as no body could be found to bury but there were a few who knew different.
Harry, who mourned the loss of his father's last friend and his godfather's lover, stood during the memorial holding hands with Tonks who held baby Teddy Lupin in arms as tears tailed down her pale heart-shaped face, eyes bitter and cold.
The war was over but lives were still broken.
Another's Arms
Well what did you think? These are one of those fanfictions I'd really like reviews for because I'm not sure how everyone will take it so if you have time a few words would really help. (:
Now if you ever feel like killing yourself then you should get help because there is a high chance that someone out there is willing to help and wants to.
I should say that I believe in no gods or the afterlife but this Harry Potter so I can do what I like.
If you are reading Ambassador's Journal then I should have the next chapter down by Sunday (14/09/2014) but don't hold me to that because it depends on how work is.
If you aren't reading Ambassador's Journal then you might want to check it out and yes I know chapter one is a bit crap but I'm thinking of rewriting it soon.
Thanks for reading, I hope you didn't cry like I did because I'm a sop!
Loves and Bugs,
Conquered-King