HI ALL
I THOUGHT I WOULD POST THIS TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW CHAPTERS AHEAD. I KNOW I SAID I WAS GOING TO POST TIWCE A WEEK BUT IM JUST GOING TO POST AS I WRITE THEM.
THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER FROM ANAS POV AND IT MAY LEAVE MORE QUESTIONS THAN I ANSWER BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WHICH I WILL POST TOMORROW ANSWERS A LOT OF QUESTIONS
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! KEEP THEM COMING
CHEERS
LORNA X
ANAS POV
Oh god Oh God Oh God!
How the fuck do I still feel like a fucking teenager when i am in Christians presence? My heart is beating so damn fast I can hear it!
I practically run out of Grey House and I leap into my Range Rover starting the engine before I even close the door. I love this car, like truly love it. It's the first new car that I have ever had, well I had the submissive special from Christian but this is the first new car that I bought and paid for myself. I was expensive and It hurt to hand over the check when I paid for it but I needed something safe and reliable.
Im lucky I don't have to worry about money. The life insurance from my parents alone was three quarters of a million and then on top of that I had the house which I sold for a little over $800,000 because it had over 40 acres of land with it. I would never have been able to live in that house again. Yes some of the best memories of my life happened at that house, but It was also at that house that the police officers came to tell me my parents had died and then not an hour later social services showed up and that day was day number 1 of 6 years of pure hell!
I remember the day they died like it was yesterday. I walked home from school listening to country songs on my iPod. My mom was born in Tennessee and grew up on country music and jazz and she passed on that passion to me. I remember running up to the front porch and kicking my shoes off because I had stepped in a puddle on my way back.
I called out to my parents but had no reply so I went to the kitchen and made myself a couple of PB&J sandwiches and grabbed a glass of milk, when I went to the fridge I saw the note pinned from my mom
Hey Baby Girl
Daddy and I had to drive to Portland to run a few errands, will be home by 6pm and we will bring pizza so don't eat too much junk before we get back
Love you lots baby G
Momma & Daddy xoxo
6pm came and went and then 7,8 and 9. I was starting to panic because they weren't answering their cell phones and then a knock came on the door. When I heard that knock I knew in my heart they were gone, I know it's stupid but I know what I felt. I ran to the door and yanked it open and saw 2 police officers standing in the pouring rain. I don't remember what they said exactly but I heard words like "I'm so sorry" "Nothing could be done" and "Died on impact"
In that one moment my whole life changed. I went from being the ultimate little blue eyed princess to just another number in a vicious and cold system. I left behind a life of ballet, piano lessons, family vacations, birthday parties, lots of friends and being the centre of my parents world, to being put in my first group home where the woman who ran it would slap you silly just for doing something like leaving the bathroom light on but believe it or not, that was one of the nicer places I stayed over the next 6 years...god I don't have the strength to think about that today...but I always think about how my life would have been like if that drunk had of missed them, if they had just stopped 2 seconds longer at the lights or if that guy would have had one less beer, they might still be here.
I know for a full fact that my whole education would have been different, if I could have studied anything it would have been English because I always wanted to get into publishing but after I came out of the foster system all I wanted to do was to try and make sure that no other children had to endure what I did, so I studied social care and politics and I threw myself into various different abused children's charity's and if my work has helped just one child, it will all have been worth it.
I doubt I would have ended up in the world of BDSM but then again maybe I would have. I'm not sure about much in life but the one thing I do know is that Christian Grey and I were meant to meet, one way or another. Perhaps if I haven't of been 101 shades of fucked up we could of made a go of it. I giggle to myself when I think of the nickname I gave myself during my time with Christian.
We had just finished a lovely meal of spaghetti and meat balls my first weekend of being his sub when he saw that I had left a little on my plate and he gave me a lecture about wasting food, when I asked him why he had such an issue with it he told me "I'm fifty shades of fucked up Ana" and my response to him was I laughed so hard I had tears, he kept demanding to know why I was laughing but the more I tried to tell him the more I laughed and eventually he started laughing with me, when we finished he said he didn't know why he laughed but it was contagious and I said to him
"If you, the billionaire, with the penthouse, money and owner of one of the greatest companies in the US is fifty shades of fucked up then I'm 101 shades and I don't stand a chance at this thing we call life"
I regret a lot of things in my life, a lot of things, but the one thing I don't regret, not even for a minute, is Christian Grey.
I pull up outside the hospital and go in for my meeting. It last for over three hours and I can honestly say I was bored shitless and now I know why I was offered the job of the million year old man that just droned on and on and on! All he wants to do Is hold fundraisers to collect money for the children's wing of the hospital which is all well and good but it's how he has has spent the money that infuriated me. That old fool gave $67,000 for a sculpture to go on one of the wards! Is he having a laugh? That money could pay the salary of 2 part time nurses for a year that will actually help the children. Well I'm in charge now and trust me, things are going to change and the first thing I am going to do Is put out an ad in the paper for more day sitters.
I remember when I was first admitted to this hospital as a child for a broken arm, which i got while in the care of foster home number one. I was in there for 3 days and during that time I had not one single visitor. Not one. No one to talk to, no one to kiss my booboo better, just 4 white walls and a TV that had static.
The next time I was admitted for a broken nose i Think it was, could have been my ribs I'm not sure, I had a sitter with me during the day called Jenny and it made my stay so much better just to have someone ask how I was and someone to play stupid games with made all the difference.
I get back in my car and drive to a spot I once went to with Christian. I am assaulted with memories of being tied up with a seat belt while he kissed every inch of my body. Good times. After we had finished inside the car he promptly took me out of it and spread me across the bonnet making me come so hard I screamed out and my voice bounced and echoed across the Sound.
That night after our little tryst in the car, was the first time he said he loved me, granted he didn't know he said it because he was asleep, but still I felt warmth spread through me and I softly kissed his lips and then went back to sleep.
We never did say those words out loud to each other and looking back, I'm glad we didn't. It would have made leaving him so much harder but at the time I knew in my heart that if I hadn't of left we would have broken each other apart. A relationship with one fucked up person might work, but trying to forge something good with 2 fucked up people, we didn't stand a chance.
Over the last couple of years or so I have worked on 99% of my demons but some still linger and I know from talking to Kate that Christian is a little closer to his family and he adores Ava so maybe, just maybe, we can make this work. Its a long shot but now I am more mature I owe it to myself to give it ago and knowing that he wants me back makes the little glimmer of hope burn just a bit brighter, I'm not going to be his sub full time again, no way, but I will go back in The playroom with him, but it has to be when we are in a steady place and there is no way in hell he is going to punish me with a belt, cane or whip, not that he really did that when we were together, well once or twice. It took a long time but I realise now that being hit like that did not make me feel better and make my problems go away.
"Mind if I sit?" I snap my head up from my day dream and look in the eyes of Jason Taylor.
Well that didn't take long.
"Be my guest Jason. You are looking well. How is Gail"
"Gail's perfect like usual, we got married last year and we are both extremely happy"
"How did you know I was here?"
"I have my ways Ana" he squints his eyes and looks out across the sound at the passing boats. During my time with Christian, Jason was kinda like an Uncle to me. When I cleared out my parents house before I sold it I found a box of pictures and one of them is of my dad and Jason and I am in Jason's arms, reaching for the camera. I make a mental note to make him a copy.
"I take it you know?" I ask him softly, he turns his head and nods slowly
"Yes I know, so does Alex Welsh...Christian doesn't know...it's not our place to tell him Ana, it's yours"
"I know and I will...but I need to have a little word with Elena first"
"You are not going alone, I will come with you"
"Thank you Jason but I will be ok, I can handle her"
"The answer is no Ana, either I come with you or Luke does but you are not going on your own to meet her. After what that bitch did to you I don't know how you could be in the same room as her"
"she needs to know that I'm back and this time, I'm not giving up my man so easy, I know Christian loves me Jason and I know he knows that I love him, if that makes sense and for once in my life I'm ready to fight for what I want and fuck anyone who stands in my way"
"It's not going to be easy Ana...he's going to hate you for this at first, you know that right? And his mom Ana...he idolises her"
"I know he will be angry at first but we are soul-mates Jason. We may have only been together 6 months and he claimed he doesn't do the hearts and flowers thing but you and I know that just isn't true Jason. All Christian Grey needs is unconditional love...and he can have that now...but Elena needs to know that she needs to back the fuck off this time...that woman haunted my childhood, she fucked up Christian and she filled his head with lies about me before I left...it's time she knew who the Alpha Woman is here...and it's not her"