Well here it is, the one chapter I saved...

The school bell rings, and A "WELCOME BACK!" sign hangs over lockers as kids walk around in the hall. The six of us stand in front of the classrom, looking at the label that reads "Fourth Grade.' "Well, here we are, guys," Stan says to us. "The first day of fourth grade."

"Yeah. No more getting pushed around by fourth graders!" Two fifth graders come up behind us and punch Stan and Kyle to the ground while a third fifthie shows up. We all look at him "Get out of my way," the fifthie yells."You little dorks!" Stan and Kyle stand up. "Hey!" I stand up for our group. "We're fourth-graders now, too!"

"Yeah, but now, we're fifth-graders, you stupid bitch, so move it!"The fifthie, and the other two boys punch me, Stan, and Kyle down to the floor.

Kyle helps me up as Stan rises. "Ungh, gay, dude," Kyle mumbles.

My friend Eric runs over to me and looks at my arms and my face, quicky and worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." I pull away from him. "I'm fine, dude." On the other side of the hall, Stan is beating up a third grader.

"Alright, good. You want me to beat up that fifth grader for you?"

"No, it's fine, Ric." That's what we call him so I don't get confused with the fatass Eric. Other kids start to show up as we both turn our attention back to the four others.

"...better." Cartman finishes his sentence as we finally tune back into them.

"You know," Kyle says. "I heard our fourth-grade teacher is some new lady from Denver."

"Denver?" I ask " Dude, we could mess with her so good!" Butters and Clyde come up to the door and listen in as well.

"She's right," Kyle says in response to my comment. "We have to take a hard stance right now and establish that we're the dominant ones in this relationship!" More and more kids keep coming up, including those little lesbian 'sparkle sunshine' chicks. They can go swallow bleach.

"Alright." Stan turns around and looks at the group of kids who're gatering at the door with us. "Hey, listen up everybody! We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves! Let's all do something radical!" Everyone smiles.

"Like what?" Clyde asks.

Stan has a look of pure determination on his face as he says, "Like... ah, how about right at 8:35 we all jump up on our desks and pull down our pants and shout, "KISS MY ASS!" all together!"

I laugh. "I'm down for it!"